Stuff You Should Read

"Nobody will ever need to buy more than $99 worth of gas..."

A gay couple adopts and raise over a hundred kids... and boggle a million homophobic conservatives.

"Just because my shirts show Barak Obama as a monkey doesn't mean I'm a racist!"

"It's not our fault for lying about the Iraq war; it's your fault for remembering those lies."

The Empire does strike back!

He has a good start on #2 and #4 already.

Bush: "Can ya lower those prices?"
Abdullah: "No way."
Bush: "Okay. Wanna play golf?"

Proof that being a Democrat is no inoculation against being stupid.

Insert your own "support the troops" snarky comment here.

Take a stand against homosexual couples, then go get blasted, ignore your family, and twiddle with your mistress -- yep, it's Republican Family Values™ again.

Let's just rename it to "Loyalty Oath" while we're at it...

"Okay, we admit it -- we're spying on you because we like it."

Do you really want to tell that grizzled Marine that you have a problem with that?

Just another nifty new way to keep you away from the voting booth, folks.

...annnnnnnnnnnd the mainstream media ignores it. Again.

"Just because we're making record-breaking profits every month doesn't mean we're not suffering too, you know..."

As any Catholic-school student will tell you, never mess with the badass nuns.

"So, basically, I got fired because a billion-dollar company loses $200."

"I have NO doubts ..the recent changes in global climate ARE man-induced. I insist that you immediately remove my name from this list since I did not give you permission to put it there."

What are you getting for $12 billion a month? Not a lot.

Finally, a chance to put your life-long couch potato skills to good use!

Just when you finally managed to forget about that bird flu...

They forgot "Never wage a land war in Asia!"

Ignorance Apathy is bliss!

"Hey, lady, just because we're polling in yer convent and you're wearing a whipple doesn't mean bupkis."

Stop running negative campaigns -- what, and break a lifelong habit?

Pick an hour, pick a channel...

Translation: "Vote for me and kiss your rights away!"

Includes audio!

"Are we really to believe that neither Mr. McCain nor his camp knew anything then about Mr. Hagee's views? ... Any 12-year-old with a laptop could have vetted this preacher in 30 seconds, tops."

Why dink around with Christian copies of pop culture when the real thing is right there?

Apparently they heard that Hitchcock joke one too many times.

"'Prostitutes are a product, like cereal,' said one man. 'You go to the grocery, pick the brand you want and pay for it.'"

"Sorry for assuming you were the criminal just because you were black... No hard feelings?"

And you thought your contractor was bad...

I just want to hear the parents explain how they didn't notice their daughter was pregnant for the last nine months...

"We promised not to build permanent bases in Iraq; we never said anything about luxury hotels and condos."

If you're not a terrorist you have nothing to hide. Right? Right?

With priceless "Ferris Bueller made it look so easy" photo.

"We've got another big contract with the Pentagon, so we don't care!"

"She's a communist Quaker! Burn her!"

"He's a witch wizard! Burn him!"

Crossover appeal or subversive rabble-rousing?

Coming this summer: Katrina 2: Return of the Brownie