Jack's latest smack attack!

It's been a while since I looked in on looney-tune violent-video game crusader Jack Thompson, so it's reassuring to look at his latest escapades and realize that he's still a demented nutjob without even a tenuous grasp of reality.

Check this out: Midway's newest gore-filled fighting game, Mortal Kombat: Armageddon, has a "Kreate a Fighter" option that (duh) lets players make their own well-oiled muscular avatars -- you tweak the clothes, hair, gender, attributes, special powers, yadda yadda yadda to your heart's content. This is the dream game if you've ever wanted to see whether He-Man could beat up Deadpool or if Snake-Eyes could pimp-smack Mr. Incredible.

To get players started with their own inspirations, the folks at Gaming Target put together some instructions for assembling famous fighters: Ash (from the Evil Dead movies), Hulk Hogan, Silent Bob... and the afformentioned looney-tune violent-video game crusader Jack Thompson. Hey, given Jack's history of outrageousness against gamers, I don't blame them one iota.

As one would also imagine, Mr. Thompson isn't pleased about his unplanned cameo in Midway's newest fighting game. But rather than simply accepting it in silence, or even ranting against the Gaming Target writers/staff/players, Jack has taken the ... novel step of issuing a cease-and-desist order against Midway for "unauthorized commercial exploitation of my name, photograph, image, and likeness within the game".

Needless to say, you don't need to be a lawyer to realize this is nuts; it's right down there with suing Bic Graphic because someone used a Bic Gel Pen to draw an unflattering Jack Thompson doodle. I'm undecided whether Mr. Thompson was in such a red-eyed mouth-foaming rage that he overlooked the fact that Midway didn't put him in their game (they merely gave players the tools to make their own characters), or that he's so over-the-top nutso that he can't recognize the difference. After all, this is a guy who once sued the Florida Bar claiming that its "pro-gay, humanist, liberal agenda" discriminated against him.

Whatever happens next is bound to be amusing; with any luck, Jack will tirelessly take his case up the ranks of the U.S. legal system, treating us all to the pleasure of watching him get laughed out of the Supreme Court.