Agents Are GO!

[Updated 9:54pm, November 11, 2006] For all you video-game players out there, here's a quickie endorsement of Elite Beat Agents for the Nintendo DS. This quirky music-rhythm game has been getting rave reviews across the internet, and I'm telling you that it earns every accolade with style and grace.

I won't waste your time rehashing the goofy premise or the learn-it-in-ten-seconds game mechanics, since you can read one of the numerous reviews linked above for the details. Suffice it to say that this game is infectiously fun -- between the silly mission scenarios, the Agents' suave moves, the unabashedly Japanese exaggerated manga art, and the toe-tapping music, there's always something happening that's out to make you smile. And the more you play, the more you discover, whether it's the unexpected bits of additional humor (I literally LOL'd the first time I saw Commander Kahn's Hawaiian suit ), the differences in how the stories play out (based on your performance), or the teary-eyed moments of pathos (anyone who doesn't well up during "A Christmas Gift" has no heart).

Like the best games anywhere, Elite Beat Agents is easy to learn and damn hard to master, especially if you're trying to get a nigh-perfect "A" grade in each scenario. But even when us mere mortals fall short, EBA easily seduces you to into trying it again to do even better, and you'll be amazed at how the time flies when "one last time" turns into an hour of non-stop screen-tapping rhythm-matching mania. Even now, I'm fighting the urge to pull out my oynx DS Lite and go one more round with the alien Rhomuloids and "Jumping Jack Flash"...!

The game is rated E-10, meaning it's suitable for everyone ten years or older, though I can't imagine why there's a limit at all -- the only "questionable content" I've seen so far is one clip where two scantily-clad debutantes flirt with wild animals to get them to do their bidding, and that's not much worse than what you'd find whenever Bugs Bunny dresses up in drag. The only warning you need to heed is to equip your Nintendo DS with a screen protector, as the manic loops you'll do during the Elite Spin Wheel sequences are sure to ravish an unprotected touchscreen.

If you're old enough to read this, know that Elite Beat Agents is easily the best video game out this month (yeah, even better than Gears of War, so there ), easily earns a spot in any decent "Top Ten Games of 2006" list, and is the closest thing I can think of to a blind-faith purchase in recent memory.

What're you waiting for? Agents are GO!

[Updated 9:54pm, November 11, 2006] Read this and laugh, dag-nabbit!