Rob's spoiler-loaded Spider-Man 3 bullet points

[Updated 10:25pm] I managed to get out of my hermit cave long enough this weekend to go see Spider-Man 3. I don't know why people have been dinging the movie; I thought it was a terrific film, a great balance between fun, adventure, and a surprisingly healthy dose of in-depth characterization. It's easily my second-favorite film in the franchise so far, right behind the original Spider-Man and superior to the (admittedly great) Spider-Man 2.

And for the sake of hearing myself blather on a bit more, I will now list the spoilers-loaded things I liked and disliked about Spider-Man 3 right after this spoiler-protective movie poster picture:

*** HERE THERE BE SPOILERS FOR SPIDER-MAN 3! ***

Stuff I liked in Spider-Man 3:

• The Spider-Man/New Goblin teamup. Full frontal nerdgasm!

  Watching the two of them together had me really pumped for future adventures with the Parker/Osborn team. Alas, it was too good to be true...

• Sandman's background and motivation. I've been used to the comic-book Sandman as a generic thug, so actually giving Flint Marko a characterization was a pleasant surprise.
• The entire Peter Parker/Mary Jane Watson/Norman Osborn/Gwen Stacy dynamic. Someone forgot to tell Sam Raimi that summer blockbuster movies are supposed to be vapid, explosion-filled time-wasters -- how dare he give us realistic relationships, complex character interactions, and a turgid soap opera plot instead!
• Similarly, Tobey Maguire's portrayal of Peter Parker as a clueless dweeb was a true treat. Despite all his super-powers and the fame that Spider-Man has reaped, Peter Parker is revealed as a socially-inept geek who couldn't read a girl's moods if you flashed it to him in big blinking neon letters, and it gives the character more depth as a result. I lost count of the number of times I wanted to reach into the movie and give Pete a lesson in romantic relationships with a clue-by-four.
• And in the same vein, the whole "emo Pete goes shopping" sequence. No, Peter, we're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you...
• The minimal screen time for Eddie Brock/Venom. Admittedly, I'm going against the fanboy grain here, but I don't see an opportunity -- or even a need -- to pad out the movie just to give Venom more screen time. The comic-book character was a one-dimensional caricature, so it's rather fitting that the movie character was a one-and-a-half-dimensional caricature (the one-dimensional Venom melded with the half-dimensional opportunistic Brock).
• And kudos to Sam Raimi for making a multiple-villian comic-nook movie that doesn't suck. When I first heard rumors that Spider-Man 3 would feature three villians, I shuddered with fears of sitting through another Batman Forever (or, worse, another Batman and Robin). Instead, my doubts were proven to be unfounded when Raimi delivered a movie that (a) gave each character an appropriate amount of time and care, and (b) didn't go down the predictable path of three-villians-tag-teaming-the-hero.
• J. Jonah Jameson's battle against high blood pressure. No, scratch that -- everything with Jolly Jonah was terrific.
• The retconning of Flint Marko into Ben Parker's death, and the associated flashbacks. The retcon didn't feel forced to me, and it was good to see Cliff Robertson on the screen again.
• Ditto to Willem Dafoe's (uncredited) cameo.

Stuff I didn't like in Spider-Man 3:

• Harry's death, just because it prevented any future Spidey/Goblin team-ups. But from a Hollywood filmmaking perspective, it was all but inevitable.
• Harry's butler (Bernard?) conveniently revealed as the all-knowing deus ex machina regarding Norman Osborn's secret life and death. Okay, it's not an impossible stretch -- just ask Alfred Pennyworth -- but the way he casually saunters into Osborn's secret lab and clues Harry in to the real cause of his dad's death just (momentarily) derailed the movie for me.
• And Mary Jane was unusually cooperative with Harry Osborn in dumping Peter, even after Harry had smashed through her window in a jet-glider, grabbed her by the throat, and slammed her against the wall. Admittedly, Harry was watching the entire "Dear Peter" scene, but couldn't she have surreptitiously told him that they were being set up by Harry and let his Spider-self save the day?
• The black Spider-costume. I'm sorry, but palette-swapping Spider-Man's regular costume doesn't work for me, especially since the original black Spider-suit was wickedly awesome.
• Finally, what's the point of having costumes with masks if everyone's gonna run around unmasked all the time? Granted, it makes it easier for the actors to emote, but after a while the scenes and fights between various-super-beings-all-dressed-up-except-for-their-faces strains the suspension of disbelief to the breaking point.

Anyway, despite the grouses, it's a fun movie, and well worth your summer box-office schekels.

[Updated 10:25pm] How the schneck did I forget to give a shout-out to Bruce Campbell's extended cameo? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!