Hey, isn't that a felony?

[Updated February 21, 9:55am] So the latest Circle Of Outrage™ today apparently started on Monday, when Michelle Obama -- wife of presidential hopeful Barack Obama -- addressed a rally in Milwaukee and said:

...[F]or the first time in my adult lifetime, I am really proud of my country — and not just because Barack has done well, but because I think people are hungry for change

If you think this comment was an innocuous fluff piece not worthy of deep thought, then you must be new to American politics.

The words were barely out of Mrs. Obama's mouth when the nation's various right-wing nutjobs seized upon it as irrefutable evidence that she was actually revealed as an American-hating traitor. And as if the morons didn't have enough encouragement, Fox News even edited her quote to make her sound just a smidge more treasonous (why do you think they're called Faux News?).

Among all the nutjob-powered outrage, right-wing moron Bill O'Reilly tried to simultaneously (a) sound reasonable and (b) placate his right-wing nutjob audience by saying:

...I don't want to go on a lynching party against Michelle Obama unless there's evidence, hard facts, that say this is how the woman really feels. If that's how she really feels -- that America is a bad country or a flawed nation, whatever -- then that's legit.

Wowie zowie, Bill-O -- what kind of Grade-AAA stupidity is this? If Michelle Obama doesn't pass your arbitrary test of "Love it or leave it" jingoism, then it's okay to go on a lynching party? "Pass the loyalty test or we're gonna hang you, n****r!"" OMGWTFBBQ?

Of course, that's got all sorts of sensible-thinking people -- which means anyone outside of the Fox News demographic -- up in arms. Some folks want an apology from Bill, while others are demanding that he be fired, Don Imus-style.

While the idea of Bill-O finally shutting up is tempting, my train of thought jumped the rails into a different direction, to wit:

1. Barack Obama is a United States Senator.
2. Barack Obama is, also, a leading candidate for the President of the United States.
3. There is a good chance, therefore, that Michelle Obama could end up as the First Lady of the United States.
4. Bill O'Reilly, therefore, has made a death threat against the potential future First Lady.
5. The Secret Service gets really protective when random idiots make threats against US Presidents, high-ranking government officials, and political candidates -- and Barack and Michelle Obama certainly qualifiy on at least two counts...

So c'mon, guys! Why settle for getting O'Reilly off the air when we can go whole hog and get him busted by the feds? Heck, even a blind lawyer could make a convincing argument that Bill's statement counts as a terrorist threat -- which means a free trip to Guantanamo!

If we're really lucky, once Bill is there, maybe the guards will do us all a favor and have him demonstrate just how safe and reliable waterboarding is!

And if we're really really lucky, they can videotape the whole thing and put it up on pay-per-view -- where the ensuing revenue stream can be put towards easing the record-breaking deficit that the Bush Administration has accrued over the last eight years.

Sounds like a win-win solution to me!

[Updated February 21, 9:55am] I was reminded that this is hardly the first time that Bill O'Reilly's racist id suddenly breached itself on the airwaves. This is the same guy who visited a Harlem restaurant last September and was flabbergasted that the (predominantly black) patrons were dining like ordinary folks -- instead of shouting profanities or starting fights or doing whatever other deranged stereotypical horrors from the depths of Bill-O's mind...