Did Jesus, Moses, and Mohammad Have MBAs?

by M. Smith

Developing massive organizations, providing high levels of customer service, outmaneuvering the competition, creating brand names that are recognized in every household. Seems to me that the skills required to create a great business are the same as the ones required to create a great religion. Well, here's some free business advice to some of those cult leaders out there that are aspiring to become the next Jesus, Moses, or Mohammad:

1. Make sure the organization can continue once you get "promoted to the head office"

   There is a good reason Jesus didn't spike the cool-aid at the Last Supper.

2. Don't try to compete in the same markets as the "Coke" and "Pepsi" of religions

   The Puritans did not try to start their religion in Rome, the went to the New World.

   The Mormons saw big growth opportunities in Utah, not California (saturated market).

   The Jehovah's witnesses used direct marketing to become the L.L. Bean mail order catalogue of religions.

3. Focus on branding and trademarks

   Everyone recognizes the Christian cross and the Jewish six-pointed star.

4. Remember the 4P's of marketing -- Product, Placement, Price, Promotion

   While cults and religions offer similar products (salvation, reincarnation, etc), cults don't grow into religions because

   1. The price is often too high (everything you own goes to the cult).
   2. They're too secretive and don't actively promote themselves.

5. Customer service

   God had Moses lead the Hebrew slaves out of Egypt. The average mom & pop doomsday cult just can't compete with that level of service.

And finally, remember that the difference between a cult and one of the Big 5 Religions (Buddhism, Christianity, Hindu, Islam and Judaism) is

Marketing,
Marketing,
Marketing