Can you name the relevant episodes and skits?
Heroes do not have to be likable in the least, nor do they really have to do anything.
Policemen hold onto their belts a lot.
Daylight tends to come and go at random intervals.
Finland is one damn goofy place.
Whenever monsters attack, they will attack women first. They will only attack men if they are accompanying a woman.
Children are not likable.
Japanese children, aside from being not likable, also wear tiny, upsetting shorts and have Level 5 security clearance.
Gilligan's Island was the peak of Alan Hale Jr.'s career.
Anything that grows to giant proportions will run amok.
Watch out for snakes!
Have sex with evil fortune-telling gypsies if they demand it.
If you are a woman, to not be young and beautiful is a horrible, horrible fate.
Hypnotists are inherently evil.
If you don't understand it, shoot it.
You can escape giant monsters merely by being on the other side of the insert shot.
If you doubt the spirit of music, a spritely man-woman in powder-blue tights will torment you.
"Advanced" does not neccesarily mean "intelligent".
Man is a feeling creature...
Beverly Garland kicks ass.
Giant corporations are inherently evil.
Only love pads the film.
The Seventies were a shameful, ugly decade.
The secrets of time travel can fit on eight 5 1/4-inch floppy disks.
They would make a short film about just about anything in the Fifties.
Leave the Bronx.
Giant spaceships look remarkably like warehouses from the inside.
Guns and explosives solve all problems.
Aliens are inherently evil.
The comedy relief does not have to be funny.
Clones are rock-stupid.
People always wear outrageously stupid clothing after apocalypses.
A motorboat can't play Dixieland Jazz.
If you can see someone's eye boogers, you're too close.
The Russians are inherently evil.
There's a flag on the moon. How did it get there?
The screams of baby animals are meaningless and should be ignored.
You can survive a nuclear blast of you simply shield your eyes.
If you cause your roomate to fail his chemistry test, he will grow an ugly face and kill you in your home many years later.
You can use "ADCHKA!" as an expletive.
Slamming together two hour-long episodes of a failed TV series does not a movie make. Okay, it does, but not a good movie.
They might be monitoring it!
Never sit in the gas expulsion sump.
The strapping white American male always leads the multinational space exploration force.
The plucky gal reporter will always fall in love with the hero, whether it makes sense or not.
Bad guys have terrible aim.
Wall-mounted keyboards are very futuristic.
Always remember which is your Thighmaster and which is your Thawmaster.
Japanese tradition dictates that all models be blown up at the end of an adventure.
Santa Claus can be downright scary at times.
Don't eat those little Vietnamese peppers, they'll burn your gut.
Roger Corman gets a lot more credit than he deserves.
Baking soda and vinegar is a powerful combination.
You should really leave the Bronx.
Plot Convenience is the most powerful force in the Universe.
Don't throw rocks at magma.
Parents who drink can be blamed for their offspring being incredibly stupid and naive.
Leonard Maltin really needs to re-think some of his reviews.
You can plummet miles into the bowels of the earth without so much as a scratch when you land.
You can't trust young planets.
It's not a really good idea to bring someone's temperature down to absolute zero.
Some people can tell a joke, and some can't.
It were during the union summer that the prairie fires started.
Sid Melton = Little Monkey Boy.
He tried to to kill him with a forklift!
Having lunch with R2-D2 is practically admitting that you're a robot.
Mel Torme was always fourty.
Scientists are excellent fighters.
Fingal didn't dopple.
Ancient civilizations are very fond of leturgical dance.
No, really. Leave the Bronx.
Evil lackeys and monsters will always turn on those who created or employed them.
They had Pert Plus in the dark ages.
Adam Duritz is the most repulsive thing in the Universe.
Santa runs a child-labor sweatshop.
Ventriloquists love ham.
Nobody likes Hamdingers.
The wisest and the best is to fix our attention on the good and the beautiful. If you just take the time to look at it.
A rogue disembodied hand is more dangerous than you'd think.
Robots can reprogram themselves to grow huge.
Issac Asimov loves copyrights.
Your weapons have no effect on Prince of Space!
Cats appease disembodied moon people.
Everyone underground is a false Australian.
You can make a sharp left in space.
All college kids from the Fifties look at least thirty.
Ed Wood had his head crammed waaaaay up his own...
The good guy will only run out of bullets when its dramatic to do so.
Gamera is really neat! He is full of turtle meat!
Don't annoy evil orphan space children.
Lizards are pretty darn flammable.
If you really like gold and salt, get yourself a sampo.
Gene Hackman is good in anything.
Kids like bootblacking very much.
Moon killed that fat barkeep!
Sometimes you have to make the phone noise yourself.
Don't disrespect Father Mushroom.
Office and lawn furniture make perfectly acceptable seating in spaceships.
If you're greeted at the door by a skanky man with big knees, run.
Look, just leave the Bronx, okay?!
Repeat to yourself, "It's just a show, I should really just relax."
References and Comments
This encompases many, many, many episodes. too many to list, but offhand we have Devil Doll, Incredible Melting Man, Mitchell, Deathstalker III, Colossus and the Headhunters, Agent From H.A.R.M....
Laserblast was the one I pulled the reference from, but it is relevant to many.
Attack of the Eye Creatures, or any other Ed Wood vehicle. Also Horror At Party Beach.
Sindbad's Golden Voyage, Jack Frost, The Day the Earth Froze, and The Sword and the Dragon.
Pick one. Giant Gila Monster, Beginning of the End...
Both Rocky Jones movies, and Mitchell.
Oh, where to start. Godzilla vs. Megalon, all the Gamera films, etc.
Alan Hale Jr. shows up in Giant Spider Invasion, Crawling Hand, and Angels' Revenge.
Again, pick one. Earth vs. the Spider, Giant Spider Invasion, Giant Gila Monster...
Eegah.
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies. A direct riff.
Leech Woman is the big one, with that seeming to be the central theme, but Jack Frost also qualifies.
The Incredibly Strange Movie with the Really Long Title. Also Devil Doll, She-Creature, I Was A Teenage Werewolf...
Any movie with strapping white guys on strange planets or continents.
Earth vs. the Spider, mostly, but there have been a few others.
Mr. B Natural.
A reference to the "Observers" skit, though it also fits This Island Earth, and maybe The Mole Men.
It Conquered the World.
The Gunslinger and Swamp Diamonds.
Warrior Of The Lost World, City Limits, Time Chasers, etc.
A direct reference from Sidehackers.
Riding With Death, Laserblast, Giant Spider Invasion. And don't forget the jigglefest Angels' Revenge!
Time Chasers again. Really.
Posture Pals, Here Comes The Circus, Cheating, so many wonderful choices. My faves are Out Of This World, where an angel and a devil vie for the soul of a bread delivery man (really), and Once Apon a Honeymoon, the odd song-and-dance number vaguely about phones.
It was shown with the title Escape 2000, but I believe Escape From The Bronx is the real title there.
Space Mutiny.
Lots of stuff. Giant Leeches, King Dinosaur...
Robot Monster, It Conquered the World, Prince of Space, and many more.
Crash Of The Moons and many, many others.
Parts: The Clonus Horror.
Warrior Of The Lost World, Robot Holocaust, City Limits...
Killer Shrews. The black guy who's the first to die.
Lots of 'em. Indestructable Man and Incredibly Strange Creatures.
Red Zone Cuba, Invasion U.S.A., Rocket Attack U.S.A., etc.
Beast of Yucca Flats. Just one of many non-sequiter voiceovers by Francis Coleman himself.
Catching Trouble, an old short about "Ross", who captures animals for a living. Evil!
King Dinosaur, Beast Of Yucca Flats, Amazing Colossal Man...
The Brute Man.
Incredible Melting Man.
Master Ninja (I and II!), Riding With Death, both Fugitive Alien movies, Time of the Apes, and Mighty Jack.
Mighty Jack. Mr. Atari playing with a transmitter...
Space Mutiny again.
Twelve To The Moon, First Spaceship On Venus.
Deadly Mantis, Beginning of the End, et al.
Space Mutiny's a good start, but this applies to many, many movies.
There have been others, but this one was pretty much a direct Spacy Mutiny riff.
This is from one of the host segments. Crow melts himself on a Thawmaster trying to work on his "problem areas", Tom fails to thaw dinner with a Thighmaster.
Space Fugitive, Time of the Apes and all that other good cheese brought to you by your friend and mine, Sandy Frank.
Santa Claus.
Sidehackers again.
Pick any one. It Conquered the World, Viking Women vs. the Sea Serpent, Sword and the Dragon, The Undead (which didn't really have any undead in it)...
A skit from Riding With Death.
Escape From The Bronx. Gee!
All of them, really, but specifically, Fire Maidens From Outer Space gets a big nod.
First Spaceship to Venus, with the rampant chocolate syrup magma.
I Blame My Parents.
Laserblast and Undead, specifically, both of which get 2 1/2 stars, even though they suck!
Alien From L.A.
Women of the Prehistoric Planet. Direct line from the captain.
Another skit reference, where Tom tried to bring Crow down to absolute zero.
Sidehackers, with the stupid cracker who takes waaay too long to tell a joke with that as the punchline. (The old "prison numbered jokes" joke).
The Nanite labor dispute skit.
Lost Continent and Radar Secret Service, possibly more.
Fugitive Alien, source of all Kens.
Human Duplicators, where Richard Kiel came out and admitted he was an android.
Girls Town. "Hmmm...now where are we supposed to be looking in this scene?"
Commando Cody and other serials.
Overdrawn at the Memory Bank.
Fire Maidens From Outer Space. But also Mole People, Colossus And The Headhunters...
Escape From The Bronx again. Gee!
Bride of the Monster, The Brain/Head That Wouldn't Die, Bloodlust!, Mad Monster, etc.
Pick any sword-n-sorcery drek. Deathstalker, Outlaw of Gor...
Adam Duritz is the lead whiner of the band Counting Crows.
Santa Claus.
Devil Doll.
Part of the "Joel escapes" skits from Mitchell, apparently based on real life. Yes, Hamdingers are real snack food items.
A completely-out-of-nowhere philosophical moment from the latest episode, Phantom Planet.
The Crawling Hand.
Jet Jaguar in Godzilla vs. Megalon.
From Women Of The Prehistoric Planet, featuring the Satellite of Love vs. the Issac Asimov Literary Doomsday Device.
Prince of Space, natch.
Twelve To The Moon. The Moon people ask for the cats the astronauts brought with them. God only knows why.
Alien From L.A.
Any space show, but specifically, Phantom Planet again.
Teenagers From Outer Space, Ring of Terror, I Was A Teenage Werewolf (okay, they were high school, but still...).
I loved The Sinister Urge. The porn industry never seemed so inviting.
Pick one. Agent From H.A.R.M., for example
We are eating Gameraaaaa! One of several Daiei classics, courtesy of Sandy Frank.
The "camping planet" scenes.
Women of the Prehistoric Planet. "I never knew lizards were so darn flammable."
The Day The Earth Froze.
Stranded In Space, a.k.a. Marooned with a crappy title sequence.
Prince of Space! Did I mention that your weapons have no effect on him?
Beatniks, which had practically negative amounts of Beatnikery.
Monster A Go-Go, from the same guy gave us Giant Spider Invasion.
Jack Frost, perhaps the goofiest of the goofy Finnish fourika.
Pick any mid-50's space movie. Rocky Jones, Twelve To The Moon...
Manos, the Hands of Fate.
Escape from the Bronx yet again.
Too bad many MST fans don't take that advice.
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