The Official Shakespearian Insult Kit

To construct a Shakespearean insult, combine one word from each of the three columns below, and preface it with "Thou":

Column 1
artless
bawdy
beslubbering
bootless
churlish
cockered
clouted
craven
currish
dankish
dissembling
droning
errant
fawning
fobbing
froward
frothy
gleeking
goatish
gorbellied
impertinent
jarring
loggerheaded
mangled
mewling
paunchy
pribbling
puking
qualling
reeky
roguish
ruttish
saucy
spleeny
spongy
surly
tottering
unmuzzled
vain
venomed
villainous
warped
wayward
weedy
yeasty

Column 2
base court
bat fowling
beef-witted
beetle-headed
boil-brained
clapper-clawed
clay-brained
common-kissing
crook-pated
dismal-dreaming
dizzy-eyed
doghearted
dread-bolted
earth-vexing
elf-skinned
fat-kidneyed
fen-sucked
flap-mouthed
fly-bitten
folly-fallen
fool-born
guts-griping
half-faced
hell-hated
idle-headed
ill-breeding
ill-nurtured
knotty-pated
motley-minded
plume-plucked
pottle-deep
pox-marked
reeling-ripe
rough-hewn
rude-growing
rump-fed
shard-borne
sheep-biting
spur-galled
swag-bellied
tardy-gaited
tickle-brained
toad-spotted
unchin-snouted
weather-bitten

Column 3
apple john
baggage
barnacle
bladder
boar-pig
bugbear
bum-bailey
canker-blossom
clack-dish
clotpole
coxcomb
codpiece
death-token
dewberry
flap-dragon
flax-wench
flirt-gill
foot-licker
fustilarian
giglet
gudgeon
harpy
hedge-pig
joithead
lewdster
lout
maggot-pie
malt-worm
measle
miscreant
moldwarp
mumble-news
nut-hook
pigeon-egg
pignut
puttock
pumpion
ratsbane
scut
skainsmate
strumpet
varlet
vassal
whey-face
wagtail

Now try a few!

Thou warped beetle-headed ratsbane.
Thou surly tickle-brained measle.
Thou warped hasty-witted puttock.

There, don't you feel better?

Categories - Humor :: Literature