[SLOW FADE UP on a view of OUTER SPACE. Jupiter is on the ascention, in the
upper-right corner of the screen. A low rumble is barely audible.
Rumble builds SUDDENLY as an AUTOBOT and a DECEPTICON sigil race out from
behind Jupiter. Both symbols ARCH AROUND the planet and CROSS IN FRONT OF the
camera, with a LOUD RUSH of noise.
MUSIC begins, an extended instrumental version of the theme from
"Transformers: Victory," playing fast, heavy, and hard.
Camera PANS RIGHT as the sigils continue to race over the planet CYBERTRON.
Scene quickly SHRINKS away into the center of the screen as OTHER IMAGES
appear, soaring across the screen like snowflakes in a blizzard...
...Optimus Prime transforms from truck to robot...
...Megatron SOMERSAULTS backwards, transforming to gun mode, then
lands in Soundwave's hands...
...the cover of Transformers #4 ("--are all dead")...
...Unicron SLAMS his hand into Cybertron's surface...
...Rhinox pulls out a MASSIVE chain-gun and RAPID-FIRES a
barrage off-screen...
...Lord Jhiaxus brutally SLASHES tears out Optimus Prime's throat,
from Transformers: Generation 2 #12...
...The Predacons skid to an abrupt halt, then LEAP into the air
and COMBINE to form Predaking...
...Saber separates from the Star Sled, then TRANSFORMS and
RECOMBINES with it to form STAR SABER...
...Bludgeon LEAPS with a flying kick from Transformers #80...
...Blackarachnia LEAPS at Cheetor, downing him with a BARRAGE of
blinding roundhouse kicks...
...Starscream and Thundercracker fire at an Autobot installation,
only to have it TRANSFORM into OMEGA SUPREME...
...the cover of Transformers: Generation 2 #1...
...God Gin Rai and Godbomber COMBINE to form SUPER GOD GIN RAI...
...Hot Rod is bathed in a BRIGHT LIGHT as he arises as RODIMUS
PRIME...
...a 360-degree-pan of a room CRAMMED with hundreds of Transformers
toys and merchandise of all sorts...
...DEATHSAURUS ascends, roaring in triumph as electricity CRACKLES
around him...
...Jazz pulls a lever in the side of a mountain, which CRACKS OPEN
to reveal JETFIRE...
...Galvatron SCREAMS in raw fury as he breaks from the bonds of
Webworld...
...Unicron EXPLODES.
As the last image flies off-screen, the music BUILDS to a climax and the title
appears:]
THE 1996
TTTTTTTTT RRRRRRRR AAAA NNNN NNN NNNN NNN III EEEEEEEEE SSSSSSSS
TTT RRR RRR AAAAAA NNNNN NNN NNNNN NNN III EEE SSS
TTT RRR RRRR AAAAAA NNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNN III EEEEEEE SSSSSS
TTT RRR RRR AAA AAA NNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNN III EEE SSS
TTT RRR RRR AAA AAA NNN NNNN NNN NNNN III EEE SSS
TTT RRR RRR AAA AAAAAA NNN NNN NNN NNN III EEEEEEEEE SSSSSSSS
Usenet's one and only Transformers Fan Awards!
[Title is held on-screen for a few seconds, then quickly DISSOLVES. The
camera then PANS DOWN, revealing an OPEN-AIR AMPITHEATER at NIGHT. Spotlights
trace across the sky and play on the stage. A packed audience can be seen at
the edges of the screen.
Camera ZOOMS IN on the stage. It is tastefully decorated but sparse, with
only a large SCREEN in the center and a single PODIUM to one side. Hanging on
the curtains are the various AUTOBOT and DECEPTICON symbols (original, G2, and
Beast Wars). The Autobots' symbols are stage-right (to the audience's left),
and the Decepticons' are stage-left (right of the audience).
After a few seconds, the stage lights dim to more comfortable levels. Off-
screen, an announcer speaks:]
ANNOUNCER:
==========
Ladies and gentlemen, Autobots and Decepticons, Maximals and Predacons,
in the grand tradition of Usenet newsgroups everywhere, welcome to the
1996 Trannies!
[Audience applauds]
And here's the host of the show, Robert Jung.
[Audience applauds again. A SPOTLIGHT appears on the stage as Robert steps
out from BEHIND the screen, wearing a freshly-pressed black tuxedo. He steps
behind the podium and waits for the applause to die down.]
ROBERT:
=======
Thank you, Peter. And thanks to all of you, for coming tonight. It's
certainly nice to see so many TransFans gathered in one place.
Yes, The Trannieswhere Transformers fans worldwide vote for their favorite
toys, characters, comics, cartoons, and everything else relating to those
giant robots from the planet Cybertron. Tonight, we'll recognize the fan
favorites, the best and the brightest, and the dumbest and the worst. The
name might be a little silly, but I think that's a good thing -- after all, if
there's one thing that we can all agree on, it's that we're supposed to have
FUN with our fandom. And if a goofy name helps to keep things light, I'm all
for it.
Anyway, before we go on, there's some legal stuff that has to be taken care of
first. Blurr?
[Rob turns towards the screen. It lights up, revealing Blurr's face.]
Hi, Blurr. Can you hear me?
BLURR:
======
Surething,Robert,Ihearyoujustfine!Canyouhearme?Youshouldbeabletohearme,Ichecke
dalloftheconnectionsmyselfjustbeforetheshowandeverythinglooksokay.Butyoucan'tt
ellwiththehyperspatiallinksthesedays,therecouldbeanionstormorameteorshowerorso
methingelseunpredictedthat'llmessusup.Ihopethatdoesn'thappen,thiswouldbethewor
stnightofallnightstohaveacommunicationsproblem,don'tyouthink?
[Rob nods in slow patience.]
ROBERT:
=======
You're coming through just fine. Can you read the legal stuff I gave you for
all of the folks here?
BLURR:
======
Noproblem,I'llreadthesedisclaimersinnotimeflat!*Ahem*"The1996Tranniesisanindep
endentfanawardpoll.Allofthevoteswerecountedbyhand,andPrice/Waterhousehadnothin
gtodowiththisstuffwhatsoever(who'sPrice/Waterhouse,Rob?).Transformers,Autobots
,Decepticons,Maximals,Predacons,andallprominentnamesandcharactersarethetradema
rkofHasbro,Kenner,Takara,MarvelComics,Sunbow,orwhoeverelseownstherights,except
whentheydon't.Geez,guys,it'sjustafansurvey,don'tgetinanuproaroverit."How'dIdo?
ROBERT:
=======
Very good, Blurr. That'll keep the Lawyercons off our backs. B-) Now how
about reading the list of folks who voted in the Trannies-- but a LITTLE
slower, if you please?
BLURR:
======
Hey,Icandothattoo,noproblematall!Wegotatotalof77votersalltogetherforthisyear's
Trannies,andtheirnamesare:
Adam Casey
AJ Toys
Andrew C.
Andrius Schmid
Anton Max
Arklier
B. M. Hood
Ben Kutcher
Bernardino Spensieri
Birgit
BoobSaibot@aol.com
Boris Ammerlaan
Brent David Stocking
Brian
Bubsy
Charlotte Brogden
chia-hsien jason ho
ChillyR01@aol.com
Chris Geist
CLEAZER@UOFT02.UTOLEDO.EDU
cro2@servtech.com
CyberBee
Dan
Dan McCollum
Dave Edwards
Dave Porretta
David Filip
DeadPhrog
Diana Calder
Dirge
DrotharRex
e.m.casey@student.ucc.ie
eric lee cline
Fabian Borges
Gregg T. Allinson
Iggy Drougge
Ivy Bohnlein
James D Thompson
Janell Clark [No e-mail; forwarded via ]
Jazz1984@aol.com
Jim Smith <5smith@wworld.com>
Joona I Palaste
Joseph W. Brogan
Ken Schmidt
kenyuen1@sprynet.com
Lars Eriksson
Laurie Edwards
Lazeric
Lewis M. Brooks
Lia Brown
Lizard
M Sipher
Marci Abbey
Mighty MegaBee
Mischa E Gelman
Mr M J McVay
Nancy Ferree
Norman G. Sippel
ns
Patrick William Wade
Pema T. Galang
Playground Psychotic
Primeval Reckoning
Raksha
Ratbat
RATBAT1986@aol.com
Ricky Boyes
Richard Hudson
Roland X
Stanley Lui
Steven Horton
Suzanne M. Ferree
The Great Cornholio
Troy Ledgerwood <99481699@wsunix.wsu.edu>
Tut
Ty W. Stalnaker
Weapon X
[Audience applauds]
ROBERT:
=======
Thanks, Blurr. Now you just go and fix yourself a bucket of popcorn while I
get this show going.
BLURR:
======
Soundsgood!I'llmakesomeinstantpopcorn,it'ssofastit'llbereadybeforeyouevengetst
arted!Bye!
[Screen winks out]
ROBERT:
=======
Nice guy, but between you and me, folks, he's a lot easier to understand when
his stuff's written. Wheelie wanted a part in this, too, but after looking at
the results, he changed his mind...
[Audience laughs. Rob leans forward, relaxing against the podium in a
decidely undignified manner.]
The Trannies have been a learning experience for me. People regularly sent in
votes that were obscure enough to make me really dig through my comics and
tapes and FAQs and lists and archives for the answers. I've also learned some
subtle points about question-asking; some of the categories will definitely be
re-worded, re-designed, or re-jected for future use.
(I've tried to fill in reference data -- episode names, comic book issue
numbers, etc. -- wherever possible. On the other hand, I wasn't able to get
everything, so if you can answer some of the blank spots below [they're noted
with a "???"], send me a note.)
The worst part about running these awards was processing them; the typical
ballot took over 45 minutes to tabulate, including research and clarifications
(77 x 45 = sixty-how-many-hours?). The BEST part of running these awards was
reading everyone's various comments -- some of them were simply terrific, with
smart remarks that had me rolling on the floor. I've included a few of them
here, but it's only a SMALL fraction, and I'm sorry that I can't put *ALL* of
them in (hey, these results are big enough already). Maybe some of the voters
might want to post their witticisms to the net for everyone else to see...
In any event, the most important goal of the Trannies was reached: EVERYONE
HAD FUN. While a few people were intimidated by the size of the ballot, a lot
of folks mentioned how much they loved filling out their votes. And I have to
admit, it does give me a warm fuzzy feeling to know that you were enjoying
yourselves as you tossed in your opinions and faves. Mothers and daughters,
husbands and wives, Autobots and Decepticons, all joining together...
Finally, a few more notes on administrivia:
1. Votes were edited for grammar, spelling, style, consistency, and clarity.
Votes were also researched when possible, such as turning "the episode
with Jetfire in ice" into "Fire in the Sky." So if you wrote something
vague and don't see it listed, it's probably because I found the correct
answer and filled it in. And if I missed a reference and you know the
answer, please don't hesitate to drop me a line with the details.
2. Similar votes were grouped together when the differences between them was
judged to be minor. Votes were discarded if they were inappropriate for
their category. Examples: "Worst movie death scene: Wheelie, because it
didn't happen," or "Best tech-spec quote: all of the Aerialbots'".
3. The attitudes and intents of the voters were captured to the best of my
ability, which means when I was alert enough to notice an ambiguity or
error early enough to bug folks about it. For the few I missed, my
apologies, though I don't think there are any major errors.
4. All decisions are final; I am judge, jury, executioner, organizer, disk
jockey, director, producer, the walrus, the waiter, matre'd, and parking
valet. Comments and feedback are DEFINITELY welcome, but I'll give you
advance warning -- I've placed Unicron in charge of complaints... B-)
Anyway, I've bored you enough with the details, so I'm going to stop now and
present the results. Comments in [square braces] are from me, and notes and
voters' comments are listed in (parenthesis).
And now ... TransFans of the world, I give you -- THE 1996 TRANNIES!
=============================================================================
PART I: CHARACTERS
These awards focus on the Transformers characters themselves -- the beings
behind the products, the ones that live on in our imaginations. Only OFFICIAL
characters recognized by Hasbro/Kenner/Takara/Sunbow/Marvel are eligible for
these awards. A character is "recognized" if it was released as a toy,
appeared in one of the animated series, or appeared in one of the comics.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Absolutely the Most Favorite Character of All Time
1 Air Raid
1 Beachcomber
1 Blaster
1 Cliffjumper
1 Cyclonus
1 Deathsaurus/Deszaras (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Jazz
1 Mirage
1 Mixmaster
1 Omega Supreme
1 Perceptor
1 Powerglide
1 Skywarp
1 Springer
1 Swindle
1 Tracks
1 Ultra Magnus
1 Unicron
1 Venom
1 Victory Leo (Japanese partner to Star Saber)
1 Waspinator
1 Wreck-Gar
2 Jetfire/Skyfire
2 Kup
2 Megatron (Beast Wars)
2 Prowl
2 Rumble
3 Megatron (Original)
4 Shockwave
4 Soundwave
5 Starscream
6 Grimlock
6 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
14 Optimus Prime
Optimus Prime. The single greatest leader in the entire Transformers mythos.
--Richard Hudson
[Yeah, but it's easy to be perfect when the execs designed you that way. B-]
Megatron, just like all the rest of the females on a.t.t.! ;-)
--Charlotte Brogden
Mixmaster (who should've had the Matrix since the beginning :)
--Dan
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Favorite Character(s), any Faction
1 Afterburner (G2 jet)
1 Banzai-tron
1 Barrage
1 Beta (from "Forever is a Long Time Coming")
1 Blades
1 Blast Off
1 Breakdown
1 Broadside
1 Browning (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
1 Bruticus
1 Buster Witwicky (from the first comic book series)
1 Buzzsaw (Beast Wars)
1 Carley Witwicky
1 Carnivac
1 Catilla
1 Cerebros
1 Cheetor
1 Chip Chase
1 Chop Shop
1 Clench/Colossus (European Obliterator)
1 Cloudburst
1 Cosmos
1 Darkwing
1 Dash/Tacker (Japanese Multiforce)
1 Deathcobra (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Death's Head (from the Marvel UK comic series)
1 Defcon (from "The Gambler")
1 Divebomb
1 Doubledealer
1 Drag Strip
1 Dreadwind
1 Dreadwing (G2 Advanced Tactical Bomber)
1 Eject
1 Elita-1 (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
1 Firefight
1 Firestar (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
1 Gears
1 Gnaw
1 Groove
1 Groundshaker
1 Hardhead
1 Headstrong
1 Hoist
1 Hooligan
1 Hot Spot
1 Hubcap
1 Kickback
1 Krok
1 Lightspeed
1 Lord Zarak (Headmaster component to Scorponok [Original])
1 Mach/Tackle (Japanese Multiforce)
1 Metalhawk (Japanese Pretender)
1 Micromaster Battle Patrol
1 Micromaster Rescue Patrol
1 Mindwipe
1 Misfire
1 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
1 Nosecone
1 Octane
1 Overbite
1 Overkill
1 Overlord (Japanese Powermaster)
1 Pointblank
1 Powerglide
1 Quake
1 Ramhorn
1 Ramjet
1 Rampage
1 Ransack (Deluxe Insecticon)
1 Rapido
1 Ratbat
1 Reflector (Spectro, Spyglass, Viewfinder)
1 Rewind
1 Roadbuster
1 Runabout
1 Runamuck
1 Scattershot
1 Seaspray
1 Sinnertwin
1 Six-Gun (Companion to Metroplex)
1 Skydive
1 Slingshot
1 Slugfest
1 Snaptrap
1 Spike Witwicky
1 Strafe
1 Sunstreaker
1 Tantrum
1 Venom
1 Victory Leo (Japanese partner to Star Saber)
1 Vortex
1 Weirdwolf
1 Wing/Waver (Japanese Multiforce)
2 Air Raid
2 Blitzwing
2 Blot
2 Blurr
2 Buzzsaw (Original)
2 Computron
2 Dirge
2 Doryu (Japanese Dinoforce)
2 Drillhorn (Japanese Breastforce)
2 Emirate Xaaron
2 Gairyu (Japanese Dinoforce)
2 Godbomber (Japanese Powermaster Drone)
2 Greyhawk (Japanese Breastforce)
2 Huffer
2 Inferno (Original)
2 Killbison (Japanese Breastforce)
2 Leozak (Japanese Breastforce)
2 Motormaster
2 Optimus Primal
2 Pipes
2 Rairyu (Japanese Dinoforce)
2 Razorclaw (Original)
2 Repugnus
2 Sandstorm
2 Shrapnel
2 Smokescreen (Original)
2 Steeljaw
2 Terrorsaur
2 Thrust
2 Treadshot
2 Victory Saber (Japanese Brainmaster; Star Saber and Victory Leo gestalt)
2 Warpath
2 Wolfang
2 Yokuryu (Japanese Dinoforce)
3 Afterburner (Original)
3 Arcee
3 Bombshell
3 Brawl
3 Dead End
3 Devastator
3 First Aid
3 Goryu (Japanese Dinoforce)
3 Jaruga/Jaguar (Japanese Breastforce)
3 Kakuryu (Japanese Dinoforce)
3 Laserbeak
3 Megatron (Beast Wars)
3 Metroplex
3 Perceptor
3 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
3 Scourge
3 Thunderwing
3 Trypticon
3 Wildrider
3 Wreck-Gar
4 Bludgeon
4 Bonecrusher
4 Cliffjumper
4 Fortress Maximus
4 Grapple
4 Hellbat (Japanese Breastforce)
4 Kup
4 Long Haul
4 Nightbeat
4 Scavenger
4 Scorponok (Original)
4 Scrapper
4 Silverbolt
4 Sixshot
4 Skids
4 Swindle
5 Airazor
5 Astrotrain
5 Beachcomber
5 Hook
5 Inferno (Beast Wars)
5 Mirage
5 Onslaught
5 Ratchet
5 Red Alert
5 Skywarp
5 Slag
5 Snarl
6 Blaster
6 Bluestreak
6 Brawn
6 Deathsaurus/Deszaras (Japanese Breastforce)
6 Frenzy
6 Mixmaster
6 Prowl
6 Sludge
6 Ultra Magnus
6 Unicron
7 Hound
7 Rhinox
7 Thundercracker
7 Tracks
7 Wheeljack
8 Blackarachnia
8 Bumblebee
8 Dinobot
8 Ironhide
8 Springer
8 Swoop
9 Omega Supreme
9 Ravage
9 Tigatron
10 Cyclonus
10 Sideswipe
10 Tarantulas
11 Jetfire/Skyfire
11 Rattrap
12 Rumble
12 Waspinator
14 Jazz
15 Galvatron
15 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
17 Shockwave
20 Grimlock
21 Megatron (Original)
26 Optimus Prime
34 Soundwave
34 Starscream
[Almost 800 votes all together. Holy Primus, what was I thinking?!? And
there's STILL a tie?!? *Sigh*]
Scorponok's bee.
--MegaBee
Rhinox's gun.
--Bubsy
[The bee I can almost accept, but the gun is a little too much, guys...]
Autobots.
--ChillyR01@aol.com
[If you think I'm going to tally every single Autobot that ever existed,
you've got another think coming, pal. B-]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Favorite Autobot/Maximal/Good Robot(tm)
1 Air Raid
1 Beachcomber
1 Blaster
1 Brawn
1 Cliffjumper
1 Jazz
1 Mirage
1 Perceptor
1 Sandstorm
1 Slingshot
1 Springer
1 Tigatron
1 Tracks
1 Victory Leo (Japanese partner to Star Saber)
1 Wheeljack
1 Wolfang
2 Dinobot
2 Jazz
2 Kup
2 Perceptor
2 Prowl
2 Rhinox
2 Sideswipe
3 Jetfire/Skyfire
3 Rattrap
4 Omega Supreme
4 Ultra Magnus
8 Grimlock
8 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
14 Optimus Prime
Optimus, because of that cool hat!
--Janell Clark
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Favorite Decepticon/Predacon/Bad Robot(tm)
1 Astrotrain
1 Blitzwing
1 Bludgeon
1 Bombshell
1 Deathsaurus/Deszaras (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Devastator
1 Dirge
1 Frenzy
1 Megatron (Beast Wars)
1 Mixmaster
1 Ravage
1 Scorponok (Original)
1 Tarantulas
2 Galvatron
2 Rumble
2 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
2 Skywarp
2 Swindle
2 Thundercracker
3 Cyclonus
6 Waspinator
8 Shockwave
9 Starscream
10 Megatron (Original)
10 Soundwave
Lord Zarak (comic version)
--Lars Eriksson
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Favorite Gestalt/Combiner/Team
1 Breastforce/Liokaiser (Japanese Breastforce combiner)
1 Cyberjets
1 Dinobots
1 Optimus Prime and Scorponok (from Transformers, #71-75)
[This wasn’t what I had in mind, but they *were* a team...]
1 Trainbots/Raiden (Japanese gestalt team)
2 Seacons/Piranacon
2 Terrorcons/Abominus
4 Stunticons/Menasor
5 Protectobots/Defensor
5 Technobots/Computron
8 Combaticons/Bruticus
10 Aerialbots/Superion
14 Predacons/Predaking
17 Constructicons/Devastator
Puzzler :)
--James Thompson
[Wrong toy line. B-]
[Re: Combaticons] Too cool. Five personalities - all different, all clashing
... all stuck with each other. A bit like CHEERS, really...
--Ratbat
[So which one is Cliff?]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Favorite Non-Toy Character
1 Autobot Spike (from "Autobot Spike")
1 Beta (from "Forever is a Long Time Coming")
1 Carley Witwicky
1 Chromia (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
1 Deathcobra (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Firestar (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
1 G. B. Blackrock
1 Hauler (from "More Than Meets the Eye," part 1)
1 Impactor (from the Transformers UK comic book series)
1 Liege Maximo (from Transformers: Generation 2, #12)
1 Orion Pax (from "War Dawn")
1 Quintesson bailiff (from the movie)
1 Scrounge (from Transformers, #17)
1 Skyfire [Okay, if you want to get *picky* about it... B-]
1 Soundwave's cassette probe (from "Prime Problem")
1 Spanner (from Transformers, #18)
1 Spider-Man (from Transformers, #3)
1 Spike Witwicky
1 Vector Sigma
2 Defcon (from "The Gambler")
2 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
2 Skyfire ("Jetfire doesn't count. :)")
2 Snake/Cobra Commander (from "Only Human")
3 Elita-1 (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
3 Lord Jhiaxus
4 Alpha Trion
4 Emirate Xaaron
6 Circuit Breaker
7 Arcee
19 Unicron
[Even though Arcee exists as a model kit, I considered her a non-toy character
because you can't _play_ with the kit (not unless you're *really* twisted,
anyway). As for Snake, he was never released as a TRANSFORMERS toy... B-]
Circuit Breaker, because she lived in Portland, Oregon. (Yeah!)
--Steven Horton
[Can't think of a better argument than that.]
Unicron, also known as Disco World.
--Stanley Lui
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Character You Most Want to Be Friends With
1 Beachcomber
1 Bluestreak
1 Browning (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
1 Carley Witwicky
1 Cheetor
1 Cyclonus
1 Dead End
1 Deathsaurus/Deszaras (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Fortress Maximus
1 Galvatron
1 Ironhide
1 Jetfire/Skyfire
1 Metroplex
1 Perceptor
1 Prowl
1 Rattrap
1 Rhinox
1 Rumble
1 Sideswipe
1 Skids
1 Slingshot
1 Spike Witwicky
1 Swindle
1 Tarantulas
1 Thundercracker
1 Trailbreaker
1 Trypticon
1 Waspinator
2 Grimlock
2 Hound
2 Soundwave
2 Springer
2 Starscream
2 Unicron
2 Wheeljack
3 Blaster
4 Bumblebee
4 Jazz
4 Kup
4 Optimus Prime
5 Megatron (Orignal)
6 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
Dead End. He could use a friend.
--Lizard
[Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...]
Swindle, he has the influence, he's a cool 'con & he wouldn't stomp me
flat. :)
--Suzanne M. Ferree
Unicron. (Just imagine having him on your side in a schoolyard fight.)
--Playground Psychotic
[Yeah, but what if he gets mad at you for creasing his comic books?]
Galvatron. I'd love to have a friend to just bum around with, scream at
all the idiots with and occasionally borrow his cannon, only for a few
minutes... >B)
--Tut
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Character You Most Want to Be Lovers(!) With
1 Ariel (pre-Elita-1) (from "War Dawn")
1 Charlene (from Transformers, #20)
1 Deathsaurus/Deszaras (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Elita-1 (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
1 Jessie (from the first comic book series)
1 Llyra (from the Headmasters comic book limited series)
1 Moonracer (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
1 Princess (from "A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court")
1 Prowl
1 Springer
1 Steeljaw
1 Victory Leo
2 Airazor
2 Circuit Breaker (from the first comic book series)
2 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
2 Megatron (Original)
2 Starscream
4 Blackarachnia
6 Carley Witwicky
8 Arcee
[This category left half the voters giggling maniacally and the other half
screaming for the hills in terror. Needless to say, the comments were VERY
amusing...]
Arcee, she's a fox, rrr!
[Down, boy. B-]
Um ... um ... but they're all robots, and male...
[Hey, some folks got pretty creative with this one. And don't assume that all
voters are male and heterosexual.]
For some reason, fanfics all assume Megatron has heaps of girlfriends. I
might see what all the fuss is about! ;-)
[See? B-]
Were there any FEMALE witwickys? Well, if I was (or is that were?) female, I
would pick Soundwave, of course.
[Well, there *was* Carley, who became a Witwicky after she married Spike.]
heheheh ... Blackarachnia!
You don't have to keep me anonymous... who else WOULD I answer?
--CyberBee
[Okay, you're not anonymous.]
Ethel Stankiewicz
[Huh?]
Blackarachnia, she has assets the other female transformers just don't have.
[Yes, ladies, nothing turns on the guys more than a withering glare and a
quiver full of cybervenon. B-]
All desires to strip Soundwave naked aside, I think I'll stay outta this
one. >:)
[Hey, Soundwave could'a used the vote...]
I think Optimus Prime and Megatron should fall in love with each other though.
That would create some interesting changes to the story.
[Now *THERE'S* an understatement.]
Uhh, umm ... yikes. I'll pass.
[*Smirk*]
Hmm ... since I'm human, I guess it would have to be Carly. Back off
Spike! :)
[Next on the Transformers -- "Divorce Wars!"]
Anybody who seriously answers this question should be shot.
[Anybody who takes the Trannies seriously should be pelted with pies. B-]
This is too weird to answer.
[But it didn't stop a lot of folks from trying.]
Ah, here's where I pity the heterosexual male fans -- they don't have much of
a selection, do they? :)
[As the votes testify, never underestimate the power of the male libedo. B-]
ROLL! Blonde goddess of the MegaMan universe!! Woo hoo!
[And some folks' libedos even extend to other cartoons...]
Whoah....talk about revealing one's psyche! :)
[Among other things.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Character You Most Want to Be
1 Air Raid
1 Airazor
1 Arcee
1 Astrotrain
1 Bombshell
1 Cliffjumper
1 Deathsaurus/Deszaras (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Dinobot
1 Fortress Maximus
1 Goryu (Japanese Dinoforce)
1 Mindwipe
1 Nightbeat
1 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
1 Peacemaker (Targetmaster partner to Pointblank)
1 Powerglide
1 Prowl
1 Rumble
1 Skywarp
1 Smokescreen
1 Spike Witwicky
1 Tarantulas
1 Thundercracker
1 Tigatron
1 Unicron [Why settle for anything less? B-]
1 Wolfang
1 Wreck-Gar
2 Blitzwing
2 Jetfire/Skyfire
2 Megatron (Original)
2 Mirage
2 Perceptor
2 Shockwave
2 Sixshot
2 Waspinator
2 Wheeljack
3 Galvatron
3 Jazz
3 Optimus Prime
3 Soundwave
3 Springer
4 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
Tarantulas, since he has the best shot at Blackarachnia :)
--Anonymous [For obvious reasons.]
Goryu gets to clong people with his club.
--Lia Brown
Rodimus Prime, because he's a screwball and he still gets to run the joint...
--Jim Smith
Galvatron (Big cannon. Nuff said.)
--Chris Geist
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Character You Most Want To Lobotomize With a Runaway Arc Wielder
1 Bumblebee
1 Cheetor
1 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
1 Huffer
1 Jetfire/Skyfire
1 Kup
1 Lord Jhiaxus
1 Megatron (Original)
1 Mixmaster
1 Motormaster
1 Omega Supreme
1 Rattrap
1 Schuckazoid (from "Five Faces of Darkness")
1 Scourge
1 Soundwave
1 Sunstreaker
1 Tarantulas
1 Tigatron
1 Ultra Magnus
1 Wreck-Gar
2 Quintesson [As if you could tell them apart... B-]
2 Slingshot
2 Starscream
2 The Mechanic (from the first comic book series)
3 Blurr
3 Daniel Witwicky
3 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
3 Spike Witwicky
6 Galvatron
20 Wheelie
[And thus starts the big bout of Wheelie-bashing...]
I'd say Wheelie or Optimus, but it's quite clear that they've already
undergone the procedure.
--Andrius Schmid
[Wheelie I can see, but Optimus?]
Wheelie! Wheelie!! WHEELIE! Friend find, look behind? Oh, yeah, I got your
"friend" right here! BLAMM BLAMM BLAMM!! (pant, pant) Okay, I'm better now.
--Dave Edwards
[Nurse!]
Comic Grimlock pre-issue 41, kept the Autobots on the ark and away from any
kind of battle w/the cons for a whole year.
--Ricky Boyes
Cartoon's take on Dinobots ... woops, too late.
--Ken Schmidt
Chris Farley. Oh wait. You mean a TF character.
--M Sipher
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Most Annoying Character
1 Donny Finkleberg (from the first comic book series)
1 Gears
1 Gnaw/Sharkticons
1 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
1 Huffer
1 Megatron (Original)
1 Optimus Prime
1 Ratbat
1 Ratchet
1 Rhinox
1 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
1 Soundwave
1 Tarantulas
1 The Mechanic (from the first comic book series)
1 Waspinator
2 Jan (from the "Transformers: Victory" Japanese series)
3 Starscream
4 Bumblebee
4 Galvatron
5 Blurr
6 Daniel Witwicky
6 Spike Witwicky
27 Wheelie
Um, he's in Beaties... he's on the autobots side, a scientist, but he acts
bad. He's... ANNOYING.
--Anonynmous
[I have *no* idea who's being referred to here. Anyone want to try? Or has
the Canadian BEAST WARS show crossed over with MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000?]
Starscream (but he's annoying in a good way :)
--Chia-Hsein Jason Ho
Scorponok, Beast Wars. A Transformer that cool-looking should not have the
intellect of a turnip and the voice of Hulk Hogan.
--Anonymous
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Most Overexposed Character
1 Blackarachnia
1 Chip Chase
1 Galvatron
1 Optimus Primal
1 Quintessons
1 Starscream
1 Steeljaw
1 Ultra Magnus
1 Wheelie
2 Megatron (Original)
2 Terrorsaur
3 Daniel Witwicky
3 Rattrap
4 Spike Witwicky
7 Cheetor
6 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
11 Bumblebee
21 Optimus Prime
Optimus J. Prime. He's cool and everything, but please ... Optimus -- give
someone else a go, yes?
--Ratbat
Um ... that one guy who has that whatchamacallit and turns into that thing.
--CyberBee
[Huh?]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Character Name
1 Air Raid
1 Blades
1 Blot
1 Bugly
1 Cliffjumper
1 Devastator
1 Frenzy
1 Hot Rod
1 Hound
1 Hun-Grrrr
1 Ironhide
1 Megatron
1 Metroplex
1 Octopunch
1 Seaspray
1 Scorponok
1 Scourge
1 Skywarp
1 Smokescreen
1 Spike Witwicky
1 Spinister
1 Steeljaw
1 Swindle
1 Terrorsaur
1 Thunderwing
1 Ultra Magnus
1 Victory Leo
1 Wolfang
2 Airazor
2 Blackarachnia
2 Cyclonus
2 Jetfire ("Not Skyfire!")
2 Prowl
2 Shockwave
2 Soundwave
2 Vortex
2 Waspinator
3 Deathsaurus/Deszaras
3 Fortress Maximus
3 Galvatron
3 Grimlock
4 Omega Supreme
4 Optimus Prime
4 Starscream
Air Raid, of course! /AND/ it would work well as a name for a pet skunk! :)
--Marci Abbey
[You can keep the pet skunk, thanks.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Character Name
1 Airazor
1 Apeface
1 Autobot
1 Banzai-tron
1 Birdbrain
1 Blackarachnia
1 Blot
1 Brainstorm
1 Bugly
1 Catilla
1 First Aid
1 Fizzle
1 Galaxy Shuttle (Japanese)
1 Gears
1 Guzzle
1 Horri-bull
1 Hot Spot
1 Insecticon
1 Ironhide
1 Jetfire/Skyfire
1 Jhiaxus
1 Kup
1 Megatron
1 Menasor
1 Nosecone
1 Predaking
1 Red Alert
1 Slag
1 Slugslinger
1 Sparkplug Witwicky
1 Spike Witwicky
1 Sunstreaker
1 Sweeps
1 Thrust
1 Windmill
1 Witwicky (family surname)
2 Armordillo
2 Dinobot
2 Hosehead
2 Rodimus Prime
2 Tigatron
2 Waspinator
2 Windbreaker
3 Gobots
3 Wheelie
4 Optimus Primal
5 Vroom
6 Cheetor
Slugslinger - sounds like a gastropod cocktail.
--Charlotte Brogden
Thrust, because of the mental picture.
--Ivy Bohnlein
[Dirty joke deleted by Robert because he wants to keep this a class act. B-]
Optimus Primal. For gods' sake, if you're going to try to squeeze money out
of people using an old TF's name, Hasbro/Kenner/Takara, use the old one; don't
make it that stupid.
--Joseph W. Brogan
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The "Oh, the Humanity!" Award, for the character with the most
disappointing characterization in any presentation
1 Airazor
1 Blurr
1 Blitzwing (betraying Galvatron in "Five Faces of Darkness")
1 Crosshairs
1 Dinobot
1 Elita-1
1 First Aid
1 Fortress Maximus
1 Frenzy
1 Groove
1 Hound
1 Jaruga/Jaguar (Japanese Breastforce)
1 Kup
1 Metroplex
1 Nebulans (ugly green slimey version, from "Rebirth")
1 O (from the first comic book series)
1 Optimus Primal
1 Optimus Prime
1 Override
1 Punch/Counterpunch (from "Rebirth")
1 Ramjet
1 Ratchet
1 Ravage
1 Roadjammers [Not sure where they're from. Anyone know?]
1 Runabout
1 Siren
1 Sixshot (from "Rebirth")
1 Skyfire
1 Snarl
1 Tracks
1 Trypticon
2 Cyclonus
2 Prowl (Original)
2 Scorponok's Cyberbee (Beast Wars)
2 Thundercracker
3 Grimlock
3 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
3 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
4 Megatron (Beast Wars)
4 Wheelie
6 Galvatron
Galvatron. He's so cool at first, then he gets his butt handed to him in
about 5 seconds.
--Steven Horton
Cyclonus. "Mighty Galvatron, I noticed that a part of your butt is still
visible while you sit down. May I kiss it?"
--David Filip
Just about any Transformer with an animal mode in the cartoon and later
comics. Bleah, they are robots, not robotic animals.
--Ken Schmidt
[And in BEAST WARS, they're animals *and* robots (cf: "Call of the Wild")]
A sentient Cyberbee would be very cool in the BW cartoon, especially if he
were more intelligent than Scorp.
--Ricky Boyes
[Have you been talking to H. Jameel al Khafiz? B-]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The "You're not me, I'M me!" Award, for the toy character with the biggest
difference between his tech-spec description and his non-toy portrayal
1 Blackarachnia, TV version
1 Broadside, TV version
1 Deathsaurus/Deszaras, TV version
1 First Aid, TV version ("GROOVE was the pacifist! Sheesh!")
1 Galvatron, UK comic book version
1 Ironhide, TV/comic version
1 Jetfire/Skyfire, unspecified version
1 Laserbeak, TV version
1 Mirage, TV version
1 Octane,TV version
1 Rhinox, TV version
1 Sandstorm, TV version
1 Scorponok, any version
1 Snarl, TV version
1 Squeezeplay/Cancer, TV version (from the Japanese "Masterforce" series)
1 Starscream, TV version
2 Blaster, any version
2 Cyclonus, TV version
2 First Aid, TV version
2 Megatron (Beast Wars), TV version
3 Optimus Primal, TV version
3 Tigatron, TV version
4 Galvatron, TV version
4 Grimlock, TV version
5 Shockwave, TV version
17 Soundwave, TV version
Soundwave: Hello? Is there any correlation between the tech spec and the show?
--Ben Kutcher
[Apparently not.]
Cyclonus. Emotionless my ass.
--Anton Max
Sandstorm, "Fight or Flee". With those specs, you wouldn't think he'd be
light-years around a peaceful planet.
--Brent David Stocking
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The Hollywood Hoist Award, for the character you'd want to see starring in
a real-life television commercial
[Note: To better show the popularity of certain characters as salesbots, I'm
going to alter the listing a tad and group multiple-vote winners by name.]
1 Air Raid/Raid bug spray
1 Apeface/Bananas
1 Blackarachnia/Hooters restaurants [For those who don't know, Hooters'
waitresses have large busts and wear tight T-shirts...]
1 Blaster/Music CDs
1 Cheetor/Cheetos
1 Cosmos/Chi-Chi pinata
1 Dinobot/Cereal
1 Fortress Maximus/Aspirin
1 Galvatron (post-movie) and Starscream/Long-distance telephone service
1 Hot Rod/Mentos mint candies
1 Inferno (Beast Wars)/Barbie
1 Insecticons/Mortein bug spray
1 Jazz/RCA Soundsystems
1 Jetfire/Jetfire toy
1 Kranix/Home insurance
1 Kup/Preparation H (or any other hemmoroid product)
1 Megatron (Original)/Tickle-Me-Elmo
1 Prowl/Brinks Home Security
1 Rhinox/First-Alert Security [Howsabout a Prowl/Rhinox team-up ad?]
1 Slag/Fire extinguishers
1 Sludge/Hooked on Phonics
1 Spike Witwicky/Unspecified product
1 Springer/Valvoline
1 Starscream/Throat sweets/lozenges
1 Stunticons/Prozac
1 Tarantulas/Laxatives ("'Squeez-Eeze' web laxative")
1 Tracks/Car wax
1 Warpath/U.S. Army
1 Waspinator/Off! bug spray
1 Arcee/Feminine hygene products
1 Arcee/Herbal Essence shampoo
1 Bumblebee/Bumblebee tuna
1 Bumblebee/Waste disposal machine
1 Mindwipe/Psychic Friends Network
1 Mindwipe/Stop smoking campaign
1 Wheelie/Preparation H (or any other hemmoroid product)
1 Wheelie/Toy cars
1 Wreck-Gar/Flo-bees
1 Wreck-Gar/Go-bot (Tonka) toys
1 Soundwave/Memorex audio tapes
1 Soundwave/Sheik condoms
1 Soundwave (with Ravage)/Dog food
1 Grimlcok/Automobile insurance
1 Grimlock/Diapers
1 Grimlock/Hooked on Phonics
1 Grimlock/Power Rangers
1 Optimus Prime/Energon
1 Optimus Prime/Federal Express
1 Optimus Prime/Gatorade
1 Optimus Prime/Accidental injury lawyer
1 Optimus Prime/Mack trucks
1 Optimus Prime/Vasigil
1 Swindle/Anything
1 Swindle/Isuzu minivans [Joe Isuzu, where are you?]
1 Swindle/Life insurance
1 Swindle/Used cars
2 Swindle/Infomercials
1 Blurr/Mountain Dew
1 Blurr/The Hackers' Soundtrack
1 Blurr/Unspecified product
4 Blurr/Micromachines [Wanna bet everyone who voted for this one each
thought they were being very clever and original? B-]
[All those votes for Blurr. Maybe we can forward the results to John
Moschitta so he can use it to find more work.]
Optimus Prime in robot mode selling any ambulance-chasing law firm....the guy
radiates "trust me" attitude. I can hear him promising to get you all the
money you're entitled to for someone else's screw-up.
--Laurie Edwards
Arcee selling Herbal Essence shampoo (you know, the one that seems to give
orgasms to the women in the commercials.) ;) That would be hilarious!
--Troy Ledgerwood
[Well, now we know what Troy thinks about when he watches teevee. B-]
=============================================================================
PART II: TOYS
Categories marked "of the Year" are only open to Transformers toys released in
1996. All other categories are open to all Transformers toys of all time.
Only toys manufactured by Hasbro/Kenner/Takara in sufficient quantities (over
50 units) are eligible for these awards -- no rare prototypes or collectors'
pieces, sorry.
[I *was* going to disqualify Machine Wars entries as being 1997 toys, but then
I remembered that a few did get released to the public in '96, so they -- at
least, the ones that were released -- stayed in.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Toy of the Year
1 Rattrap
1 Razorbeast
1 Terrorsaur
1 Wolfang
2 Blackarachnia/Tarantulas
2 Waspinator/Buzzsaw (Beast Wars)
3 Cheetor/Tigatron
4 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
4 Inferno (Beast Wars)
14 Megatron (Beast Wars/T-Rex)
21 Optimus Primal (Gorilla)
[Take a bow, big bot. Or pound your chest. Or somethin'.]
BW Scorponok. He has light weight plastic--but no "cheap feeling" plastic,
*lots* of features, cool gimmicks, no "wasted" pieces--ie. everything in beast
mode either has a use in robot mode or it's hidden and vice versa--, nothing
breaks in either mode, great detail, a fun transformation, fun in *both*
modes, mutant head functions as a samari-type helmet when using robot mode,
awesome transparent plastic, great color scheme, and to top it off, he has his
really cute vein-winged and flawless bee.
--Suzanne M. Ferree
[Show of hands: anyone else interested in switching to an all-essay format for
next year's awards? B-]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Toy Tech-Spec Character of the Year
1 Dinobot
1 Iguanus (Beast Wars)
1 Inferno (Beast Wars)
1 Rhinox
1 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
1 Snapper
2 Buzzsaw (Beast Wars)
2 Optimus Primal (Gorilla)
2 Oynx Primal (BotCon '96 exclusive)
2 Rattrap
2 Razorbeast
2 Tigatron
2 Wolfang
3 Tarantulas
3 Terrorsaur
5 Blackarachnia
[Oynx Primal? All he had was a quote lifted from PULP FICTION...]
Snapper! Leader of the Gameracons!
--Playground Psychotic
No answer, since the tech-specs for the 96 toys are uniformly bad.
--Lizard
What characterization?
--Andrius Schmid
[Ouch.]
Note that few of the BW tech specs in Canada contain the full tech spec blurb,
and the stuff they cut out first is often the characterization.
--Stanley Lui
[But Andrius said they don't have any, so you aren't missing anything...]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Toy
1 Beachcomber
1 Deathsaurus/Deszaras (Japanese Breastforce)
1 Inferno (Beast Wars)
1 Megatron (Combat Hero)
1 Megatron (Original)
1 Onslaught
1 Optimus Prime (Powermaster)
1 Predacons/Predaking
1 Prowl (Original)
1 Rotorstorm/Storm (European Turbomaster)
1 Sandstorm (Original)
1 Scorponok (Original)
1 Shockwave (Original)
1 Soundwave (Original)
1 Springer
1 Tigatron
1 Trypticon
1 Victory Leo
2 Omega Supreme
2 Optimus Prime (Original)
2 Sixshot
3 Dreadwing/Smokescreen (G2/Advanced Tactical Bomber; sold under the names
Ace Evader and Stealth Assault in Europe.)
3 Grimlock
3 Hot Rod
3 Optimus Primal (Gorilla)
6 Fortress Maximus
7 Optimus Prime (Laser Rod)
15 Jetfire (Original)
[Now watch all the dealers triple their prices on Jetfires and Laser Optimus
toys.]
Jetfire. What else do you have to say? A foot tall, metal parts, big old
gun, complex transform, pose-ability, clip on armour, and he just looks cool.
--The Great Cornholio
My fave is Onslaught. Fairly simple, big on coolness, and just ... I don't
know. He's just a big happy con.
--Lia Brown
My brother had a TF racing set from Tyco that was fun; does that count?
--Janell Clark
[We'll give it an honorary vote here, how's that?]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Toy Tech-Spec Character
1 Bombshell (Original)
1 Brawn
1 Clench/Colossus (European Obliterator)
1 Dinobot
1 Gears
1 Goldbug
1 Groove
1 Gutcruncher
1 Hun-Grrr
1 Ironhide (Original)
1 Jetfire (Original)
1 Kup
1 Onslaught
1 Optimus Prime (Action Master)
1 Optimus Prime (Laser Rod)
1 Ransack (Deluxe Insecticon)
1 Ravage
1 Shockwave (Original)
1 Skyquake (UK Predator)
1 Skywarp (Original)
1 Soundwave (Original)
1 Starscream (Original)
1 Swindle
1 Swoop
1 Thundercracker
1 Tracks
1 Twin Twist
1 Windcharger
2 Bluestreak
2 Hubcap (Original)
2 Oynx Primal (BotCon '96 exclusive)
3 Optimus Prime (Original)
4 Megatron (Original)
Hubcap. Hey, his tech-spec is all we've GOT for his characterization. But I
like how he's not the stereotypical saintly Autobot, but he's not the "loose
cannnon" Wolverine-type jerk ... they all like him, they just don't
particularly TRUST him to keep the books on the Autobot Bake Sale.
--M Sipher
X way tie, where X equals the number of transformers produced. =)
--Ken Schmidt
[Why not just admit that you can’t decide? B-]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Tech-Spec Character Quote
1 Air Raid: "If you look first, you may not leap."
1 Bluestreak: "I never met a Decepticon I didn't dislike."
1 Brawn: "Might over microchips."
1 Cosmos: "Reach for the stars, but never leave your friends."
1 Defensor: "As long as one innocent being is threatened, none are truly
free."
1 Galvatron: "My power is everything, defeat is absurd!"
1 Inferno (Action Master): "Where there's smoke, there's me."
[Entry submitted was "The hotter thing are, the better I like it!",
which is from the AM Inferno's tech-spec description.]
1 Jetfire (Original): "Among mysteries of science lies the key to victory."
1 Kup: "The past is the greatest teacher."
1 Onslaught: "The mind is the greatest weapon."
1 Outback: "Rules are detours on the road of life."
1 Oynx Primal (BotCon '96 exclusive): "...and I will strike down with great
vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and
destroy my brothers, and you will know my name is Oynx when I lay my
vengeance apon [sic] thee."
1 Perceptor: "One's ultimate truth lies in one's molecular structure."
1 Quake: "Nothing lasts forever ... so why not destroy it now?"
1 Ravage: "Today's Autobots are tomorrow's scrap metal."
1 Shockwave: "Clarity of thought before rashness of action."
1 Smokescreen: "A look can be deceiving; a touch can be lethal."
1 Stalker: "Hate until it hurts and then hate some more."
1 Starscream: "Conquest is made of the ashes of one's enemies."
1 Streetwise: "You have to know where you are before you know what to do."
1 Swoop: "Fear can hit targets unreachable to bullets."
1 Twin Twist: "War is wherever I want it to be."
1 Windrazor: "Show me an Autobot and I'll show you a hole in the ground!"
2 Bumblebee: "The last likely can be the most dangerous."
2 Megatron: "Peace through tyranny."
2 Mirage (Original): "Who and what I am I hide from the enemy."
2 Omega Supreme: "Unyielding resolve has no conqueror."
2 Shockwave: "Clarity of thought before rashness of action."
2 Swindle: "Make deals, not war."
3 Optimus Prime: "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings."
3 Razorclaw (Original): "Good things succumb to those who wait."
3 Sideswipe: "I don't break the rules, I bend them -- a lot."
Soundwave: "The secrets of the universe reveal themselves to those who
listen."
--Ty W. Stalnaker
[That's from his Transformers Universe comic book entry, or so I've been told.
In any case, it's not eligible because it was never used on the toy, but I'll
bet Raksha appreciates the thought.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Packaging/Toy Box Art
1 Beast Wars eye/rock blisters
1 Brainstorm
1 Buzzsaw (Beast Wars)
1 Deathsaurus/Deszaras (Japanese Breastforce)
1 Dinobot
1 Fizzle
1 Fortress Maximus
1 Hot Rod
1 Inferno (Beast Wars)
1 Inferno (Original)
1 Jaruga/Jaguar (Japanese Breastforce)
1 Megatron (Action Master)
1 Optimus Prime (Original)
1 Rodimus Prime
1 Sixshot
1 Skywarp (Original)
1 Star Convoy (Japanese Micromaster base)
1 Starscream (Original)
1 Stepper (Japanese Targetmaster)
1 Superion (from the Superion gift set)
1 Victory Leo
2 Galvatron
2 Jetfire (Original)
2 Optimus Primal (Gorilla)
2 Punch/Counterpunch
2 Star Saber
3 Box rear battle scene, 1986 (with Metroplex and Trypticon)
3 Megatron (Original)
3 Optimus Prime (Laser Rod)
4 Optimus Prime (Powermaster)
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Toy of the Year
1 Cheetor
1 Insecticon
1 Megatron (Machine Wars)
1 Optimus Primal (Gorilla)
1 Prowl (Machine Wars)
1 Waspinator
2 Blackarachnia
2 Iguanus
2 Rattrap
2 Razorbeast
2 Rhino (McDonalds Happy Meal toy)
4 Beast Wars Microverse sets
4 Dinobot
4 Optimus Primal (Bat)
4 Polar Claw
6 Armordillo
6 Megatron (Beast Wars/alligator)
[I allowed the micro-playsets because they were released in 1996. Just
barely, but enough to qualify.]
Polar Claw (WAY too much undercarriage garbage plus the annoying hair-trigger
claw)
--Diana Calder
Any of the Beast Wars toys.
--Tut
[Oh, come on. "BEAST WARS SUX!" is *so* pass'e...]
Dinobot, if only 'cause he should have been Grimlock.
--DrotharRex
The new Microverse stuff. Badly painted figures, and a kid could choke on
them in seconds.
--Laurie Edwards
[Recall! Recall! Scandal! Scandal! B-]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Toy Tech-Spec Character of the Year
1 Armordillo
1 Inferno (Beast Wars)
1 Rhinox
1 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
2 Optimus Primal (Ape)
2 Oynx Primal (BotCon '96 exclusive)
2 Rattrap
2 Tarantulas
2 Tigatron
2 Waspinator
3 Cheetor
3 Megatron (Beast Wars/T-Rex)
5 Optimus Primal (Bat)
6 Megatron (Beast Wars/alligator)
Waspinator. They even called him an "it"...
--Raksha
I'd have to say [bat] Primal's. He's way too long winded.
--Arklier
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Toy
1 Brawn
1 Broadside
1 Bumblebee (Original)
1 Bumblebee (McDonalds) [Is this the same as the original?]
1 Galvatron
1 Greasepit
1 Grimlock (Pretender)
1 Jazz (Pretender)
1 Mainframe
1 Megatron (Original)
1 Mindwipe
1 Optimus Prime (Action Master)
1 Polar Claw
1 Powerglide
1 Prowl (Original)
1 Ransack (Deluxe Insecticon)
1 Roadbuster
1 Scourge/Sweeps
1 Sinnertwin
1 Soundwave (Go-Bot)
1 Starscream (Original)
1 Starscream (Pretender)
2 Jumpstarters (Topspin and Twin Twist)
3 Optimus Primal (Bat)
3 Sparkabots/Firecons
4 Battlechargers (Runamuck and Runabout)
4 Ironhide (Original)/Ratchet
4 Throttlebots
5 Power Masters (G2: Staxx, Bulletbike, Ironhide, and Meanstreak)
6 Wheelie
[I think leftover Wheelie resentment was at work here. Some of the runners-
ups are worse than a mini-bot.]
Any figure that has no vertical arm movement for punching/aiming gun at foes
(Includes Throttlebots, Powerdashers, Sunstreaker, that A-10 micromaster,
any others I may have blocked out)
--Ricky Boyes
Broadside. Had all the posability of a stick.
--Arklier
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Toy Tech-Spec Character
1 Banzai-tron
1 Blurr
1 Countdown
1 Deathsaurus/Deszaras (Japanese Breastforce)
1 Deluge (US G2 color changer)
1 Greasepit
1 Ironhide
1 Jetfire
1 Krok
1 Lightspeed (UK Motorvator)
1 Megatron (Beast Wars/T-Rex)
1 Optimus Primal (Gorilla)
1 Oynx Primal (BotCon '96 exclusive)
1 Pipes
1 Roadbuster
1 Scattershot
1 Shockwave
1 Skram
1 Skyfall
1 Sunstreaker
1 Tailgate
1 Twin Twist
1 Wheelie
2 Broadside
2 Megatron (Beast Wars/alligator)
6 Soundwave (Original)
Every tech spec from G2 on makes even the worst G1 spec look like perfect
prose.
--MegaBee
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Tech-Spec Character Quote
1 Afterburner: "Following leaders leads nowhere."
1 Aquablast: "Listen! That's the music of one of my super-tuned, ultra-hot
engines! And think of what terror it must strike in the hearts of
those Autobot cowards..."
1 Deluge (US G2 color changer): "Let me study the battle plans. I'll think
up something really unpleasant -- and then make it even nastier."
1 Doubleheader: "Burn, baby, burn!"
1 Electro: "This won't be an easy battle -- for them!"
1 Galvatron: "My power is everything; defat is absurd!"
1 Gears: "Nobody wins a war -- somebody loses."
1 Megatron: "Peace through tyranny."
1 Micromaster Monster Truck Patrol: "We're a giant wall of Autobot might!"
1 Optimus Prime (G2 UK): "One Decepticon is one too many."
1 Optimus Prime (Original): "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings."
1 Oynx Primal (BotCon '96 exclusive): "...and I will strike down with great
vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and
destroy my brothers, and you will know my name is Oynx when I lay my
vengeance apon [sic] thee."
1 Ramhorn: "Flee before me or you will fall before me."
1 Road Pig: "Light my fuse and I'll race like a rocket!"
1 Rodimus Prime: "Experience is the benchmark of maturity."
1 Sludge: "Stomp your enemy, crush him under your feet."
1 Space Case: "My mind might be slow, but I move like greased lightning!"
1 Waspinator: "" [Vote is correct]
1 Wreck-Gar: "Collect and save, collect and save."
2 Megatron (Beast Wars/alligator): "Prosper or perish is the Predacon way,
and we intend to survive by driving the Maximals into extinction!
Optimus Primal thinks he can challenge our strength, but he has yet to
feel the painful punishment I'll give him as I sink my teeth into his
furry flesh. He may still be a robot on the inside, but on the outside
... he's my lunch!"
2 Megatron: "Everything is fodder."
[That's actually from his Transformers Universe comic book entry.
The toy's tech-spec quote is "Peace through tyranny."]
2 Mirage (Machine Wars): "Like ninja in the night, I strike swiftly and
unseen."
2 Skalor: "I stink, therefore I am."
2 Soundwave: "Cries and screams are music to my ears."
3 Blowout (Go-Bot): "Want to race?"
Gears: "Earth stinks, but Decepticons stink worse."
--Ty W. Stalnaker
[That's from Gears' Transformers Universe comic book entry, not the toy.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Packaging/Toy Box Art
1 Beast Wars
1 Beast Wars, second series (smooth oval blister)
1 Birdbrain
1 Blaster (Original)
1 Box rear battle scene, Micromaster bases
1 Brawn
1 Deluge
1 Dinobot
1 Eagle Eye (G2 Jet)
1 Generation 2 plastic card packaging
1 Kup
1 Lion (McDonalds under-three-years-old Happy Meal toy)
1 McDonalds Happy Meals Beast Wars figures
1 Megatron (Machine Wars)
1 Motormaster
1 Optimus Primal (Bat)/Megatron (Beast Wars/Alligator) two-pack
1 Optimus Primal (Gorilla)
1 Optimus Prime (Combat Hero)
1 Optimus Prime (Original)
1 Prowl (Machine Wars)
1 Ramjet (G2)
1 Rewind
1 Rhinox
1 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
1 Sideswipe
1 Skystalker
1 Soundwave (Go-Bot)
1 Starscream (Pretender)
1 Sunstreaker
1 Terradive
1 Tigatron
2 Machine Wars recycled art
2 Terrorsaur
2 Wheelie
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Most Complicated Toy
1 Bluestreak/Prowl/Smokescreen
1 Dreadwing/Smokescreen (G2/Advanced Tactical Bomber)
1 Deluge (US G2 color changer)
1 Metroplex
1 Overlord (Japanese double Powermaster)
1 Quickswitch
1 Skyjack
1 Star Convoy (Japanese Micromaster base)
1 Sunstreaker
2 Devastator
2 Fortress Maximus
2 Inferno (Beast Wars)
2 Megatron (Original)
2 Roadbuster
3 Jazz (Original/G2)
4 Sixshot
5 Jetfire (Original)
9 Omega Supreme
13 Megatron (Beast Wars/T-Rex)
Sixshot - He's a gun, a wolf, and a bunch of indeterminate forms My brother &
I made up.
--DrotharRex
[Jet, tank, armored car, winged wolf, gun, and robot are the official ones.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Toy Gimmick of the Year
1 McDonalds' Beast Wars figures
1 Mega Beasts' companions (Scorponok's bee and Polar Claw's bat)
1 Megatron's (Beast Wars/T-Rex) pincer tail
1 Optimus Primal's (Gorilla) skull mace
1 Rare toy variations/Short-shipping toys
1 Realistic animal forms
1 Repaints
1 Rhinox's "skirt"
1 Rub signs ("Energon chips")
2 Beast Wars
2 Beast Wars Microverse sets
2 Powerful-shooting weaponry
2 Water guns (Beast Wars Megatron's head, Cheetor's gun, etc.)
3 Optimus Primal's (Gorilla) chest-beating action
3 Optimus Primal's (Gorilla) hidden weapons/twin swords
3 Quick transformations
5 Inferno's (Beast Wars) abdomen propeller
7 Scorponok's bee [Yes, people asked for the bee by name.]
8 Beast Wars hidden/integrated weaponry
[Votes (okay, VOTE) for Autorollers were discarded because they were released
in 1995, not 1996.]
Inferno's propellor Butt. Think of all the crude gas jokes that can be made!
--Andrius Schmid
[And I'll bet Rattrap will be making most of them.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Toy Gimmick of All Time
1 Beast Wars hidden/integrated weaponry
1 Devastator
1 Dinobot's tail-sword
1 Fortress Maximus
1 Interchangable gestalt/combiner parts ["Scramble City," anyone?]
1 Micromaster Combiners
1 Minispies
1 Omnibots
1 Optimus Primal's hidden weapons
1 Powerful-shooting weaponry
1 Realistic vehicle transformations
1 Repaints
1 Super-poseable articulation
1 Targetmasters
1 Transformers: Generation 2
2 Action Masters
2 Any *Master
2 Dreadwing's (G2/Advanced Tactical Bomber) gatling gun
2 Glowing eyes
2 Laser Rods
2 Lights (Galvatron's flashing lights, Optimus' headlights, etc.)
2 Micromasters
2 Motorized/walking toys
3 Inferno's (Beast Wars) propeller
3 Rub signs ("Energon chips")
4 Headmasters
4 Transforming robots
9 Gestalts/Combiners
Japanese Soundwave that works.
--The Great Cornholio
[This is not exactly a Transformers toy, I think -- more like a novelty item.]
Transforming robots. It's been over a decade, and we're still buying new
ones. Enough said.
--James Thompson
[He *does* have a point.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The Earth Day Award, for best reuse of an existing character's name
1 Afterburner (G2 jet)
1 Air Raid (Cyberjet)
1 Buzzsaw (Beast Wars)
1 Mirage (Go-Bot)
1 Strafe (Cyberjet)
2 Dinobot (Beast Wars) [Not what I had in mind, since there wasn't an
earlier Dinobot toy, but the category WAS worded that way...]
2 Dreadwing/Smokescreen (G2/Advanced Tactical Bomber)
2 Jetfire (Cyberjet)
2 Optimus Primal (Gorilla)
2 Optimus Prime (Powermaster)
3 Megatron (Beast Wars/T-Rex)
3 Optimus Prime (Unspecified reincarnation)
5 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
7 Megatron (Tank)
9 Optimus Prime (Laser Rod)
13 Inferno (Beast Wars)
[Ah, he won only because everyone loves the propeller-butt gimmick... B-]
Laser Optimus Prime -- that mode is completely in keeping with the spirit of
the original, although modernized and made much more poseable. In other
words, the original, only improved, in a very accurate manner. I can't
imagine how a Prime fan would *not* like it....
--Raksha
Optimus Prime is very Eco-Friendly. He's been recycled more times than my
newspaper.
--AJ Toys
Smokescreen, for the G2 jet. I don't like Dreadwing all that much, but I do
like his smaller buddy...he's got 2 good modes, he's cute, and well ... his
eyes glow red!
--Lia Brown
["Cute"? B-]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The Grave-Spinning Award, for worst reuse of an existing character's name
1 Buzzsaw (Beast Wars)
1 Devastator (Action Master)
1 Insecticon (Beast Wars)
1 Iguanus (Beast Wars)
1 Jazz (Pretender)
1 Jetfire (Cyberjet)
1 Optimus Primal (Bat)
1 Optimus Primal (Gorilla)
1 Optimus Prime (Action Master)
1 Optimus Prime (Laser Rod)
1 Predacons (Beast Wars faction)
1 Smokescreen (partner to G2 Dreadwing Advanced Tactical Bomber)
2 Optimus Prime (Go-Bot)
3 Megatron (Unspecified reincarnation)
3 Prowl (Machine Wars)
4 Megatron (Go-Bot)
4 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
6 Inferno (Beast Wars)
7 Megatron (Beast Wars/alligator)
7 Megatron (Beast Wars/T-Rex)
15 Soundwave (Go-Bot)
[I'll note for the record that a lot of the people who voted for the Beast
Wars Megatron T-rex toy specifically stated that they were disgusted with his
portrayal on the cartoon. Guess the show *does* influence sales, albeit not
as HasKen intended...]
Gotta be [Go-Bot] Soundwave. Neon yellow-green, aiee.
--Ivy Bohnlein
Any reused name.
--Chris Geist
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The P.T. Barnum Award, for the most shameless way Hasbro/Kenner/Takara
tried to make a fast buck this year
1 Beast Wars toys missing from show
1 Beast Wars Microverse sets
1 BotCon '96 Dealer Exclusive & VIP Exclusive
1 G.I. Joe: Extreme
1 Hasbro/Kenner firing the two presenters at BotCon '96
1 High prices
1 Monopoly on the name "Go-Bot"
[But Hasbro bought out Tonka back in '94, I think...?]
1 "Optimus Primal" (the name)
1 Prowl (Machine Wars)
1 Quick transformations
2 Beast Wars
4 Figure/packaging variations
5 Optimus Primal & Megatron two-pack/Multiple commander versions
8 Machine Wars
15 Beast Wars repaints
[Even with just three repainted BW toys, the fans were incensed.]
[Re: Beast Wars repaints.] Stacks of Buzzsaw's on shelves should be all the
evidence necessary to see through this blatant tactic.
--Ricky Boyes
Re-using names _and_ old UK designs _and_ Laser Rod box art for Machine Wars.
--M J McVay
[Don't forget the Beast Wars logo typeface, too.]
Sure it's shameless to reuse character groups like "Insecticon" and "Dinobot,"
but nothing was cheesier than the idea to kiddify Optimus Prime's otherwise
good name into Optimus Primal.
--David Filip
Too many to count.
--Brent David Stocking
[If you thought last year was bad, wait 'til you see *THIS* year...]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The Encore Award, for the toy you most want to see re-released
1 Beachcomber
1 Blitzwing
1 Cyclonus
1 Deathsaurus/Deszaras (Japanese Breastforce)
1 Decepticon Mini-Spies [What, no Autobot mini-spies? B-]
1 Hot Rod
1 Liokaiser gift set (Japanese Breastforce gestalt team)
1 Metroplex
1 Pipes
1 Optimus Prime (Powermaster)
1 Rodimus Prime
1 Skywarp (Original)
1 Soundblaster (Japanese redesign/recolor of Soundwave)
1 Star Convoy (Japanese Micromaster base)
1 Swoop
1 Tracks
1 Ultra Magnus
1 Victory Leo
1 Whirl
2 Grimlock (Original)
2 Omega Supreme
2 Springer
3 Cheetor
3 Starscream (Original)
4 Megatron (Original)
5 Shockwave (Original)
5 Soundwave (Original)
7 Fortress Maximus
8 Jetfire (Original)
Jetfire (but called his REAL name this time, ie. Skyfire)
--Diana Calder
Anything I don't have ;-).
--Andrius Schmid
A collector's edition Classic Megatron in Walter P-38 form with orange safety
nozzle to allow cops to see that it is only a toy and not a real weapon!
--AJ Toys
[I dunno. Megatron ... in orange? *Ouch*]
Fortress Maximus, because this time, _I've GOT a hundred bucks!_
--Jim Smith
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The No-Bang-for-the-Buck Award, for the toy with the *WORST* price-to-fun
ratio of all time
1 Armordillo
1 Beachcomber
1 Beast Wars Microverse sets
1 Blackarachnia
1 Blaster (Original)
1 Broadside
1 Bumblebee (Original)
1 Deathsaurus/Deszaras (Japanese Breastforce)
1 Duocons (Battletrap and Flywheels)
1 Galvatron
1 Go-Bots
1 Jetfire
1 Landmine
1 Metroplex
1 Micromasters
1 Optimus Prime (Action Master)
1 Original Decepticon jets (Skywarp, Starscream, Thundercracker)
1 Oynx Primal (BotCon '96 exclusive)
1 Pretenders
1 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
1 Seaspray
1 Sparkabots/Firecons
1 Star Convoy (Japanese Micromaster base)
1 Trypticon
1 Wheelie
2 Megatron (Tank)
2 Omega Supreme
2 Polar Claw
2 Power Masters (G2: Staxx, Bulletbike, Ironhide, and Meanstreak)
2 Ultra Magnus
3 Fortress Maximus
3 Megatron (Original)
3 Sky Lynx
4 Throttlebots
[Okay, folks, now you know what NOT to buy...]
Megatron (gun)--it fell apart.
--Nancy Ferree
European G2 Transparent Sparkabots. The Sparklers weren't particularly
interesting to begin with, and the G2 version was terribly overpriced: They
cost 90 SEK (About $13!) - half of that would've been normal in Sweden.
--Lars Eriksson
=============================================================================
PART IIIa: CARTOONS AND ANIMATED EPISODES
These awards are open to all of the Transformers-related animated material
officially recognized by Hasbro/Kenner/Takara/Sunbow, EXCLUDING "Transformers:
The Movie" (it gets its own category, below). An "episode" refers to a single
half-hour block of material. Yes, the Japanese animated series are eligible.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Episode of the Year
1 Double Dinobot
1 Fallen Comrades
1 The Trigger, part 1
2 A Better Mousetrap
2 Double Jepoardy
2 The Spark
3 Chain of Command
3 Gorilla Warfare
3 Victory
5 The Web
8 Dark Designs
16 The Probe
Aw man...do I have to vote for Beast Wars?
--Jim Smith
[Not if you don't wanna.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Multiple-Episode Series/Story Arc of the Year
1 Beast Wars, part 2/Chain of Command/The Trigger, part 1 & 2
(The alien artifacts mystery)
1 Beast Wars, part 2/The Web/Power Surge (Rattrap vs. Tarantulas)
7 Beast Wars, part 1 & 2
28 The Trigger, part 1 & 2
[Okay, admittedly, there weren't a lot of multi-episode series last year.
Still, a few folks got creative with the story arcs.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Episode of All Time
1 A Surprise Attack, Dinoking!
(from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Aerial Assault
1 Auto-Bop
1 B.O.T.
1 Chaos
1 Cosmic Rust
1 City of Steel
1 Fire in the Sky
1 Fire on the Mountain
1 Charge! The Fortress against the Victory Combination (Final episode of
the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Ghost in the Machine
1 Gorilla Warfare
1 Make Tracks
1 Return of Optimus Prime, part 2
1 The Revenge of Bruticus
1 The Gambler
1 The Probe
1 The Search for Alpha Trion
1 The Ultimate Doom, part 1
1 Triple Takeover
1 Victory
2 A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court
2 Fight, Victory Leo (First appearance of Victory Leo; from the Japanese
"Transformers: Victory" series)
2 Heavy Metal War
2 More than Meets the Eye, part 1
2 Starscream's Brigade
2 Starscream's Ghost
2 The Golden Lagoon
2 Webworld
3 Enter the Nightbird
3 Only Human
3 The Burden Hardest to Bear
4 Dark Awakening
4 War Dawn
6 Call of the Primitives
[Apparently, even though a lot of people complain about the third-season
cartoons, when they worked, they *REALLY* worked. Votes for "More Than Meets
the Eye" and "Return of Optimus Prime" (without specific parts) were
disregarded, as they were multi-part story arcs, and not single half-hour
episodes.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Multiple-Episode Series/Story Arc of All Time
1 Beast Wars, part 2/Chain of Command/The Trigger, part 1 & 2
(The alien artifacts mystery)
1 S.O.S. Dinobots/War of the Dinobots
1 Megatron's Master Plan, part 1 & 2
1 Miracle Warriors--The Targetmasters, part 1 & 2
(from the Japanese "Transformers: Headmasters" series)
1 Rebirth, parts 1-3
1 Transformers: Victory, entire season
[For those who haven't seen it, yes, it IS a multi-part story arc.]
2 The Trigger, part 1 & 2
3 Desertion of the Dinobots, part 1 & 2
3 Starscream's Ghost/Ghost in the Machine
3 The Key to Vector Sigma, part 1 & 2
6 Starscream's Brigade/The Revenge of Bruticus
8 Return of Optimus Prime, part 1 & 2 (with or without "Dark Awakening")
8 Five Faces of Darkness, parts 1-5
11 The Ultimate Doom, parts 1-3 (with or without "Countdown to Extinction")
14 More than Meets the Eye, parts 1-3
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Animation in a Single Episode
1 A Better Mousetrap
1 Double Jepoardy
1 Equal Measures
1 Make Tracks
1 Return of Optimus Prime, part 1
1 The Secret of Omega Supreme
1 The Trigger, part 1
1 The Trigger, part 2
1 Transformers: Zone (Japanese original animated video)
2 More than Meets the Eye, part 1
3 Beast Wars, part 2
33 Call of the Primitives [Take THAT, computer-generated graphics!]
[Votes for "Return of Optimus Prime" and "Beast Wars" (without specific parts)
were disregarded, as they were multi-part story arcs, and not single half-hour
episodes.]
I don't know enough about animation to distinguish between the good, the bad,
and the ugly.
--Laurie Edwards
[My rules are (1) when it makes you wince in physical pain, it's bad, and
(2) when it leaves you gaping in stunned amazement, it's good.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Writing in a Single Episode
1 A Better Mousetrap
1 A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court
1 Auto Berserk
1 B.O.T.
1 Dark Awakening
1 Double Dinobot
1 Enter the Nightbird
1 Fire in the Sky
1 Ghost in the Machine
1 Megatron's Master Plan, part 1
1 Masquerade
1 Prime Target
1 Sea Change
1 The Spark
1 The Trigger, part 1
1 Transport to Oblivion
2 Heavy Metal War
2 The Golden Lagoon
2 Victory
2 War Dawn
4 The Burden Hardest to Bear
4 The Web
5 The Probe
6 Webworld [Anyone have Diane Duane or Len Wein's addresses? B-]
[Votes for "Return of Optimus Prime" (without specific parts) were
disregarded, as it was a multi-part story arc, and not a single half-hour
episode.]
Enter the Nightbird, for the writer's ability to magically import enough
subtle hints to start a pseudoreligion.
--Stanley Lui
What, they had words?!
--AJ Toys
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Scene in a Single Episode
1 Airazor's first appearance, "The Spark"
1 Autobot Brainmasters first combine to form Road Caesar, "Charge, Leozak"
(From the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Autobot roll-call/transforming ranks, "More than Meets the Eye, part 1"
1 Blaster vs. Soundwave battle to the death, "The Mystery of Planet Master"
(From the Japanese "Transformers: Headmasters" series)
1 Cheetor caught in Tarantulas' web, "The Web"
1 Cheetor's dream, "The Web"
1 Combaticons on Cybertron, "The Revenge of Bruticus"
1 Cyclonus filling out administrative paperwork, "Webworld"
1 Cyclonus trying to escape and save Galvatron, "Webworld"
1 Destruction derby, "City of Steel"
1 Devastator goes berserk and attacks the Decepticons, "The Core"
1 Dinobot's burp, "Double Dinobot"
1 First Autobot/Decepticon battle, "Call of the Primitives"
1 Fortress Maximus vs. Scorponok, "Rebirth, part 3"
1 Grimlock laughing at low-energon Decepticons, "Five Faces of Darkness,
part 1"
1 Hellbat teases Greyhawk after his disasterous attack on Star Saber,
"Awaken, Victory Leo!" (From the Japanese "Transformers: Victory"
series)
1 Hot Rod's angry resignation as Autobot Leader, "The Burden Hardest to
Bear"
1 Maximal/Predacon fight as the Axalon takes off, "Victory"
1 Maximals eulogizing Rattrap's death, "A Better Mousetrap"
1 Megatron and Optimus Prime's duel, "Heavy Metal War"
1 Optimus Primal vs. Dinobot, "Beast Wars, part 2"
1 Optimus Prime opening the Matrix, "Return of Optimus Prime, part 2"
1 Optimus Prime piloting the ship (flashback), "Return of Optimus Prime,
part 1"
1 Optimus Prime yelling for Sideswipe's rocket pack, "More than Meets the
Eye, part 3"
1 Powerglide having a (blinking) heart, "The Girl Who Loved Powerglide"
1 Scorponok and Tarantulas vs. the motion-sensing cannon, "Fallen Comrades"
1 Skyfire destroying Megatron's weapon, "Fire on the Mountain"
1 Skyfire vs. Shockwave, "The Search for Alpha Trion"
1 Skywarp and Starscream's argument, "The Ultimate Doom, part 1"
1 Snake/Cobra Commander yelling "COBR--*cough*hack*wheeze*!", "Only Human"
1 Soundwave fighting on the Ark, "More than Meets the Eye, part 1"
1 Starscream reflects on his past with Skyfire, "Fire in the Sky"
1 Swindle tries to form Bruticus without Brawl's personality component,
"B.O.T."
1 Synthoid Autobots find clothes that exactly match their real colors,
"Only Human"
1 Tarantulas crawling on Cheetor, "The Web"
1 Tigatron's final line, "Fallen Comrades"
1 Unicron, Scourge, and Starscream discussing Unicron's second task,
"Ghost in the Machine"
1 Victory Leo remembers Jan mourning Gin Rai's death, "Fight, Victory Leo"
(From the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Waspinator's wall-bouncing flight after meeting Rhinox, "Dark Designs"
1 Webworld's self-destruction, "Webworld"
2 Constructicons forming Devastator, "Heavy Metal War"
2 Galvatron makes a gun while undergoing aggression theraphy, "Webworld"
2 Predacons form Predaking and attack Tornitron, "Call of the Primitives"
("To the end!")
3 Beachcomber's phyrric victory, "The Golden Lagoon" ("We won.")
3 Waspinator getting shot by Rhinox, "Chain of Command"
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Quote
1 Air Raid: "Silverbolt, why'd they make you Aerialbot leader? You have no
sense of adventure!
Silverbolt: "Exactly." (Forever is a Long Time Coming)
1 Airazor: "Airazor -- maximize!" (The Spark)
1 Blitzwing: "Tell me what's on your mind, or I'll splatter it on the wall
and see for myself!" (Triple Takeover)
1 Brawn: "Mushy, but true." (The Ultimate Doom, part 3)
1 Cheetor: "Cheetor, maxim-- oh, already did that." (Equal Measures)
1 Cyclonus (to Ultra Magnus): "Warriors such as you and I should meet their
end in battle." (The Killing Jar)
1 Cyclonus: "What is this place?"
Daniel: "An ice-cream factory?" (Surprise Party)
1 Dinobot: "Look, down in the sky! Is it a bird?"
Rhinox: "Maybe it's a plane?"
Rattrap: "Naah, it's Optimus!" (Victory)
1 Dinobot: "This is unsound!" (???)
1 Galvatron: "I am Galvatron -- greatest of the Decepticons! You have no
right to change what I am!" (Webworld)
1 Galvatron: "I hate Optimus Prime! I hate Cyclonus! And I'm not too fond
of YOU, either!" (Webworld)
1 Galvatron: "Scourge doesn't know the meaning of the word assault -- but
he's going to LEARN!" (The Burden Hardest to Bear)
1 Galvatron: "This world is ours, and Optimus Prime shall die again!" (???)
1 Grimlock: "Getting better, but still not better enough." (Dinobot Island,
part 1)
1 Grimlock: "Me Grimlock no care if whole planet fall part! Make no
difference to me Grimlock!"
Wheeljack: "With you on it?"
Grimlock: "Uhhrr ... hadn't thought of that." (The Ultimate Doom)
1 Grimlock: "Me Grimlock not feel so good." (???)
1 Hook: "Bad news, Scrapper! They've brought out the heavy artillery!"
Scrapper: "Then let's do the same, only HEAVIER!" (Heavy Metal War)
1 Hot Rod: "The wisdom of the ages? It's lost."
Optimus Prime: "No, not lost. We're all a little wiser now."
(The Return of Optimus Prime, part 2)
1 Jazz: "Let's hope it don't end up with 'third, bury Jazz!'"
(Attack of the Autobots)
1 Kup: "Nah, my name's Teaspoon, and I'm Cybertron's chief dishwasher!"
(Five Faces of Darkness, part 2)
1 Megatron (Beast Wars): "Yesssssssss." (Various)
1 Omega Supreme: "Results -- disappointing." (???)
1 Octane: "Agh! I'll never tell!" (whispers) "Hey, you got pretty close
that time."
Cyclonus/Starscream: "You'd better talk, before they discover your bad
acting!"
Octane: (whispers) "Okay, okay." (aloud) "I'll talk! I'll talk!"
(Starscream's Ghost)
1 Optimus Primal: "All right! WHO WANTS SOME?!" (Gorilla Warfare)
1 Optimus Prime: "Amazing! A booby trap that actually catches boobies."
(Prime Target)
1 Optimus Prime: "Monsters ... They made me a weapon, to destroy the very
ones I loved in life. But you will save them, Rodimus Prime."
(Dark Awakening)
1 Optimus Prime: "Roll out!" (Various)
1 Rattrap: "Well, that's just prime!" (Double Dinobot)
1 Rattrap: "We're all gonna die." (Beast Wars, part 1)
1 Rattrap: "Who died and made YOU Prime?" (Beast Wars, part 1)
1 Rhinox: "Of course he smelled bad. He was a rat." (A Better Mousetrap)
1 Rhinox: "When a spark goes on-line, there is great joy. When one's
extinguished, the universe weeps." (The Spark)
1 Rodimus Prime: "Don't suppose I could interest you in a used mantle?"
(???)
1 Rodimus Prime: "No one is innocent!" (Return of Optimus Prime, part 2)
1 Skywarp: "Have fun playing crystal-nanny, Screamer! Bye!"
(Fire on the Mountain)
1 Snake/Cobra Commander: "COBR--*cough*hack*wheeze*!" (Only Human)
1 Starscream: "I am leader of the Decepticons!" (Various) [And variations.]
1 Starscream: "Time makes all things possible; I can wait."
(More than Meets the Eye, part 2)
1 Tarantulas: "If Waspinator does not stop cuddling me like a stuffed toy,
I will eat him!" (Victory)
1 Waspinator: "Tarantulas fat enough already!" (Victory)
1 Waspinator: "Waspinator rulzzzzzzzzzzzzz!" (A Better Mousetrap)
1 Wheeljack: "Optimus, we can't open the door!"
Optimus Prime: "Fortunately, I have a delicate lock-picking technique."
**BLAM!** (???)
1 Wheeljack: "Well, I'm no flying ace, but..." (S.O.S. Dinobots)
1 Wreck-Gar: "I'm a pepper. Wouldn't you like to be a pepper too?"
(The Return of Optimus Prime, part 1)
1 Wreck-Gar: "I'm a doctor, not a fork-lift! His engines, they canna take
the strain!"
Rodimus Prime: "Any hope the Junkions can repair him?"
Wreck-Gar: "He's dead, Jim!" (The Return of Optimus Prime, part 1)
2 Brawn: "I'll get the door." (The Ultimate Doom, part 3)
2 Grimlock: "You wrong, and you ugly too!" (Dinobot Island, part 2)
2 Optimus Prime: "There's a thin line between being a hero, and being a
memory." (More than Meets the Eye, part 3)
2 Rhinox: "This guy's got bearings of chrome steel." (Beast Wars, part 1)
2 Ultra Magnus: "I've never seen anything this beautiful in the entire
galaxy. ... Okay, give me the bomb." (Fight or Flee)
2 Waspinator: "Not wacko! Wonko! Wonko the Sane!" (Dark Designs)
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Episode of the Year
1 Beast Wars, part 2
1 Dark Designs
1 Double Jepoardy
1 Fallen Comrades
1 Power Surge
1 The Probe
1 Victory
2 The spark
2 The Web
3 A Better Mousetrap
5 Equal Measures
6 Gorilla Warfare
8 Double Dinobot
Double Dinobot. Ick Ick Ick.
--Dan
Any Beast Wars.
--Tut
[I'm getting a sense of deja vu here.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Multiple-Episode Series/Story Arc of the Year
1 Beast Wars, part 2/Chain of Command (The standing stones mystery)
1 Equal Measures/Power Surge/Dark Designs (Terrorsaur's bid for leadership)
1 The Web/Equal Measures (Cheetor's misadventures)
3 The Trigger, part 1 & 2
13 Beast Wars, part 1 & 2
"Beast Wars", the opener. It didn't grab me.
--Ivy Bohnlein
[Between the Maximals' Mouseketeer roll-call and Primal's final quote, I can't
blame you. Fortunately, it's been mostly uphill since.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Episode of All Time
1 A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court
1 Aerial Assault
1 Atlantis, Arise!
1 Big Broadcast of 2006
1 Call of the Primitives
1 Child's Play
1 Dark Awakening
1 Divide and Conquer
1 Double Dinobot
1 Face of the Nijika
1 Ghost in the Machine
1 Grimlock's New Brain
1 Heavy Metal War
1 Kremzeek!
1 Rebirth, part 3
1 Sea Change
1 The Autobot Run
1 The Core
1 The Gambler
1 The Trans-Europe Express
1 Webworld
2 Autobot Spike
2 Madman's Paradise
2 Only Human
2 Prime Target
3 Surprise Party
4 City of Steel
4 Five Faces of Darkness, part 1
13 Carnage in C Minor
"Carnage in C-Minor" wins. Period. Soundwave's only post-movie starring
role, and he's strapped into THIS stinkburger ... I'd be embarrassed to show
this one to anyone who ISN'T a TF fan... and only THEN to show them just how
bad it is.
--M Sipher
Call of the Primitives. Yup, you heard me. I can't stand that ep.
--Arklier
Autobot Spike! I deliberately got rid of it from my tapes! I was GLAD when
the cable went out during it! That's how bad it is!
--Lia Brown
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Multiple-Episode Series/Story Arc of All Time
1 Five Faces of Darkness, part 4/Dark Awakening/The Burden Hardest to
Bear/The Ultimate Weapon (the "Rodimus Prime is a weenie" phase)
1 Starscream's Ghost/Ghost in the Machine
1 The Quintesson Journal/Big Broadcast of 2006
2 The Key to Vector Sigma, part 1 & 2
2 The Ultimate Doom, parts 1-3
3 Megatron's Master Plan, part 1 & 2
3 Return of Optimus Prime, part 1 & 2
4 Dinobot Island, part 1 & 2
9 Rebirth, parts 1-3
20 Five Faces of Darkness, parts 1-5
["Guilty or innocent?" "GUILTY!"]
Every scene w/ Daniel in it spanning the post movie TF 2010 episodes all the
way through the first 31 eps of Headmasters, ending w/ "Operation: Destroy the
Destrons." It took the writers of both series a span of about 61 episodes,
*61* episodes to *finally* write an episode where Daniel was *interesting*.
--Suzanne M. Ferree
[I tried to condense this down, folks, really I did...]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Animation in a Single Episode
1 A Prime Problem
1 Autobot Spike
1 Dark Awakening
1 Megatron's Master Plan, part 1
1 Money is Everything
1 Starscream's Ghost
1 The Gambler
1 The Ultimate Doom, part 1
1 War Dawn
2 The Autobot Run
3 Ghost in the Machine
3 The Core
6 City of Steel
6 Five Faces of Darkness, various parts
12 Carnage in C Minor
Almost anything from the third season.
--Anonymous
Any of the generation two. The animation is so chopped up by those computer
effects ... ugh.
--Anonymous
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Writing in a Single Episode
1 A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court
1 A Prime Problem
1 Beast Wars, part 1
1 Big Broadcast of 2006
1 B.O.T.
1 Call of the Primitives
1 Dark Awakening
1 Double Dinobot
1 Ghost in the Machine
1 Money is Everything
1 Only Human
1 Sea Change
1 Surprise Party
1 The Autobot Run
1 The Key to Vector Sigma, part 2
2 City of Steel
2 Rebirth, part 2
3 Autobot Spike
7 Carnage in C Minor
8 Five Faces of Darkness, various parts
I can't nominate the entire third season?
--Raksha
[Sorry, nope, tempting though it may be. B-]
B.O.T. What the /WAS/ the plot?
--Marci Abbey
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Scene in a Single Episode
1 Asteroid battle, "Carnage in C Minor"
1 Autobot Spike saving Sparkplug Witwicky, "Autobot Spike"
1 Autobots easily defeating the Decepticons, "Megatron's Master Plan,
part 2"
1 Autobots disguised with lab coats, "More than Meets the Eye, part 3"
1 Autobots playing basketball with Spike, ???
1 Autobots recreated with harmonics, "Carnage in C-Minor"
1 Blaster being transformed by a giant hand, "Prime Target"
1 Blaster, Ultra Magnus, and the alien singer hanging on Broadside's wings,
"Carnage in C-Minor"
1 Boys taping the girl's mouth shut, "B.O.T."
1 Chasing the last kremzeek inside Blaster's chest, "Kremzeek!"
1 Chip encourages the Autobots while acid rain falls on them, "Divide and
Conquer"
1 Chip stands out of his wheelchair to catch something, "The Autobot Run"
1 Daniel and Wheelie pick Ultra Magnus' birthday, "Surprise Party"
1 Devastator digs down to the Earth's molten core, "The Core"
1 Dinobot and Terrorsaur make a truce, "Equal Measures"
1 Football with the transforming cog, "Five Faces of Darkness, part 5"
1 Galvatron blasts Wheelie and Blurr and barely do any damage, even though
he destroyed a planet earlier, "Five Faces of Darkness, part 2"
1 Headmaster Nebulans standing next to Cerebros (and were the same size),
"Rebirth"
1 Hot Spot fighting alongside Defensor, "Carnage in C-Minor"
1 Optimus Prime explaining how he tricked TORQ III, "Day of the Machines"
1 Optimus Prime surrendering to Berger, "Megatron's Master Plan, part 1"
1 Optimus Prime's arm -- mounted on a skyscraper -- shooting at Devastator,
"City of Steel"
1 Powerglide having a (blinking) heart, "The Girl Who Loved Powerglide"
1 Seaspray being human with robot feet, "Sea Change"
1 Sideswipe gets Starscream to say "uncle," "City of Steel"
1 Slow-motion fight between Optimus Primal and Megatron, "Dark Designs"
1 Transformers escape an alien planet with a toy rocket, "Child's Play"
1 Ultra Magnus saving Daniel, "The Ultimate Weapon"
1 Unicron's head transforming Cybertron, "Ghost in the Machine"
1 Waspinator's wall-bouncing flight after meeting Rhinox, "Dark Designs"
1 Wheelie held captive by the Decepticons, "The Master Sword is in Danger"
(From the Japanese "Transformers: Headmasters" series)
1 Wheelie lures Trypticon over a small rope bridge, "Four Warriors Come Out
of the Sky" (From the Japanese "Transformers: Headmasters" series)
1 Wheeljack fails to stop the king of Atlantis from destroying the stack of
energon cubes, "Atlantis Arise"
2 Blurr and Wheelie fighting the fire-bats of Io, "Five Faces of
Darkness, part 4"
2 Transformers' origins revealed as mass-market goods, "Five Faces of
Darkness, part 4"
3 Brawn and Huffer fighting next to Bonecrusher, "Carnage in C-Minor"
[Not only are they on the wrong side, but they're dead, too.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Quote
1 Announcer: "Stayed tuned next week for the final episode of the
Transformers." (More than Meets the Eye, part 2)
[Don't ask me, it ain't on my copy either. But the voter insisted.]
1 Boy: "Looks like he bought the big one." (B.O.T.)
1 Carley: "That was my car, not an Autobot, Decepti-creep!"
(Desertion of the Dinobots, part 2)
1 Cheetor: "Ultra gear!" (Various)
1 Constructicons: "I hope he brought back some energon. We certainly could
use the energy." (Five Faces of Darkness, part 1)
1 Constructicons struggling with the word "damage." (City of Steel)
1 Cyclonus: "Tracing Galvatron's trajectory, I can conclude that his
remains lie on the planet Throb, circling the red giant star Hybram."
(Five Faces of Darkness, part 1)
1 Cyclonus: "He is a traitor, give him no quarter!"
(Ghost in the Machine)
1 Dinobot: "*Burrrrrrp!*" (Double Dinobot)
1 Grimlock: "Rodimus, me Grimlock demand you wake up!" (Five Faces of
Darkness, part 2)
1 Huffer: "You'd better get this done right, or we'll be here 'til the big
dipper gets rusty!" (Countdown to Extinction)
1 Megatron: "You're such a rotten actor, you couldn't fool a Saturnian
simpleton!" (The Core)
1 Megatron (Beast Wars): "Yessssss." (Various)
1 Mixmaster: "Right right right! Mega-mega-megatron!" (???)
1 Optimus Primal: "That's just prime." (Various)
1 Optimus Prime: "Don't bite off more than you can shred." (???)
1 Optimus Prime: "Only we can stop the Decepticons."
Sparkplug: "But my son Spike and I know more about earth than you do."
Optimus Prime: "Hmm, maybe you can help us."
(More than Meets the Eye, part 2)
1 Perceptor: "Megatron's evil brain impulses!" (Microbots)
1 Powerglide: "And awayyyyyyy we go!" (Various)
1 Punch/Counterpunch: "Just watch out for my Autobot counterpart!"
(Rebirth, part 1)
1 Sideswipe: "I didn't know Decepticons had uncles!" (City of Steel)
1 Soundwave: "Excellent, Ravage." (Roll for It)
[Selected because Frank Welker's voice wasn't modulated.]
1 Spike Witwicky (voiceover): "Well, that's it from Earth! Next stop --
Cybertron!" (More than Meets the Eye, part 3)
1 Tracks: "That's what I call a riveting experience!" (Auto-Bop)
1 Various: "'Til all are one!" (Various)
1 Waspinator: "Not wacko! Wonko! Wonko the Sane!" (Dark Designs)
2 Megatron: "Every experiment needs a guineapigatron!" (The Autobot Run)
2 Optimus Prime: "She was playing robopossum!" (Enter the Nightbird)
2 Wheelie: "Mean streak, Sweep creep." (Five Faces of Darkness, part 2)
4 Optimus Primal: "And let it be called...Beast Wars!" (Beast Wars, part 2)
[Bob Forward is never going to live that quote down. B-]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Series Opener
1 Transformers: Zone
2 Transformers: Generation 2 (Computer-animated Optimus vs. Ramjet)
3 Beast Wars
5 Transformers Season 3 (After the movie)
7 Transformers: Victory
8 Transformers Season 4/"Rebirth" (With all the commercial animation)
14 Transformers Season 1 (Everyone flies behind the volcano)
17 Transformers Season 2 (Omega Supreme stomps on Blitzwing)
[Considering how most fans haven't seen the Japanese episodes, I think the
Victory opener placed rather well. And it is a beaut...]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Character Who Should Get/Should Have Gotten More Air Time
1 Air Raid
1 Arcee
1 Beachcomber
1 Beta (from "Forever is a Long Time Coming")
1 Blitzwing
1 Bluestreak
1 Bumblebee
1 Cheetor
1 Cyclonus
1 Dinobot
1 Elita-1 (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
1 Frenzy
1 Galaxy Shuttle (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Hound
1 Hubcap
1 Ironhide
1 Jazz
1 Kup
1 Megatron (Beast Wars)
1 Mirage
1 Mixmaster
1 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
1 Perceptor
1 Punch/Counterpunch
1 Ransack (Deluxe Insecticon)
1 Red Alert
1 Reflector
1 Rodimus Prime
1 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
1 Shrapnel
1 Snake/Cobra Commander (from "Only Human")
1 Springer
1 Tigatron
1 Ultra Magnus
1 Unicron
1 Waspinator
1 Wreck-Gar
2 Omega Supreme
2 Rhinox
2 Tarantulas
3 Skyfire
3 Skywarp
4 Prowl
4 Skids
4 Soundwave
7 Shockwave
Poor Beta. Not only did she only get one ep, but they never revealed what
eventually happened to her. In contrast, everyone knows what happened to
A3/Alpha Trion.
--Suzanne M. Ferree
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Character Who Should Get/Should Have Gotten Less Air Time
1 Arcee
1 Blurr
1 Cheetor
1 Galvatron
1 Ironhide
1 Megatron (Original)
1 Optimus Primal
1 Kup
1 Powerglide
1 Rumble
1 Skywarp
1 Soundwave
1 Steeljaw
1 Tracks
2 Grimlock
2 Starscream
3 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
3 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
3 Ultra Magnus
4 Daniel Witwicky
4 Rattrap
4 Spike Witwicky
8 Optimus Prime
8 Wheelie
10 Bumblebee
Pardonnez-moi, but Skywarp serves no obv. purpose. Why does he get sentences?
--Janell Clark
[Union rules?]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Animation in a Toy Commercial
1 Blaster ("Autobot intruder!" "Where?" "Here!")
1 Combat Hero Optimus Prime vs. Megatron (G2/computer animation)
1 Deathsaurus/Deszaras (stop-motion) [Well, it *is* animation...]
1 Inferno and Jazz (G2/computer animation)
1 Kid morphing into Ultra Magnus (various commercials)
1 Beast Wars Polar Claw and Scorponok figures
1 Omega Supreme ("But where're the Autobots?" "Who cares?")
1 Optimus Prime vs. Megatron
1 Power Block [You mean the entire show's a commercial? Nah! B-]
1 Powermaster Optimus Prime ("Optimus is turning into a Super
PowerMaster!")
1 Punch/Counterpunch and Autobot/Decepticon Clones
("You can trust me, Rodimus! -- You can trust me, Galvatron!")
1 Aerialbots vs. Combaticons (G2/computer animation)
1 Victory Leo (stop-motion)
2 Metroplex vs. Combaticons
2 Technobots vs. Scorponok (Original)
2 Ultra Magnus vs. Galvatron ("And it will be the last time we meet!")
3 Jetfire vs. Shockwave ("Tired of losing the battle in the sky...")
4 Optimus Primal/bat vs. Megatron/alligator (First Beast Wars commercial)
4 Targetmasters ("The vehicle transforms/and so does the gun!")
=============================================================================
PART IIIb: TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE
It's so big, so amazing, it gets its own subcategory! Like the title says,
all of the awards here are for TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Character in the Movie
1 Arcee
1 Blurr
1 Devastator
1 Hot Rod's dueling droid [Oooooo-kay.]
1 Ironhide
1 Jazz
1 Shockwave
1 Starscream
1 Ultra Magnus
2 Blaster
2 Grimlock
2 Megatron
2 Soundwave
3 Kup
4 Springer
5 Galvatron ("That was BEFORE he went nuts.")
5 Optimus Prime
6 Wreck-Gar
9 Unicron
16 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Movie Scene
1 Bumblebee and Spike after failing to destroy Unicron ("Sh*t!")
1 Daniel's point-of-view through Unicron's water system
1 Hot Rod and company watching Unicron attack Cybertron
1 Hot Rod and Kup meet the Junkions
1 Hot Rod running over Galvatron inside Unicron
1 Junkion kisses Grimlock
1 Junkions popping out of the ground
1 Kup pulling on Blitzwing's barrel
1 Shockwave warning Cybertron of Unicron's attack
1 Starscream tosses Megatron out of Astrotrain ("Wanna bet?")
1 Unicron smashing Cybertron
1 Unicron's head orbiting Cybertron
2 Blaster ejecting his cassettes/Cassettebot melee
2 Decepticons attacking/Autobots massacred in the shuttle
2 Sharkticon pits/Hot Rod and Kup vs. the Sharkticons
2 Slag enters the Quintesson court ("Excuse me!")
2 Starscream's death
3 Attack at Autobot City
3 Hot Rod opening the Matrix
3 Megatron being rebuilt into Galvatron
3 Optimus Prime's death
4 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime vs. Galvatron
4 Unicron devouring Lithone [or other planets/moons]
5 Optimus Prime vs. the Decepticon ranks
7 Optimus Prime vs. Megatron
9 Unicron's transformation
[What I really want to see is Unicron's transformation with the original wide-
screen aspect ratio in a big theater and killer sound... *Sigh*]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Movie Quote
1 Blitzwing: "Come on down, Auto-brat!"
1 Galvatron: "Coronation, Starscream? This is bad comedy!"
1 Galvatron: "It's a pity you Autobots die so easily, or I might have a
sense of satisfaction."
1 Grimlock: "Me Grimlock not kisser, me king!"
1 Hot Rod: "We can't hold out forever, Kup, but we can give them one
humungous repair bill!"
1 Kup: "Nope. Never seen anything like it."
1 Kup: "Of all the circuit-glitched diode-dim-- you left a piece out!"
1 Kup: "Turbo-revvin' young punk! I'll straighten you out yet!"
1 Megatron: "Why throw away your life so recklessly?"
Optimus Prime: "That's a question you should ask yourself."
1 Optimus Prime: "All we need now is a little energon, and a lot of luck."
1 Optimus Prime: "Arise, Rodimus Prime."
1 Optimus Prime: "Never!"
1 Optimus Prime: "Out of the way, Hot Rod!"
1 Optimus Prime: "You, who are without mercy, now plead for it? I thought
you were made of sterner stuff."
1 Megatron: "And...?"
Unicron: "And nothing! You belong to me."
1 Megatron: "No one summons Megatron!"
Unicron: "Then it pleases me to be the first."
1 Rodimus Prime: "Autobots, transform and roll out!"
1 Rumble: "What'd he say his name was?"
1 Shockwave: "Decepticons, we're under attack! Scramble!"
1 Slag: "Me Slag say you full of beryllium baloney!"
GrimlocK: "Me Grimlock think you full of cesium salami!"
1 Ultra Magnus: "Open ... dammit, OPEN!"
1 Unicron: "Your bargaining posture is highly dubious."
1 Unicron: "No, the point is, you are a fool!"
1 Wreck-Gar: "Offer expires while you wait."
2 Optimus Prime: "Megatron must be stopped. No matter the cost."
2 Optimus Prime: "But one day, an Autobot shall rise from our ranks, and
use the power of the Matrix to light our darkest hour. Until that day,
'til all are one..."
2 Spike: "Sh*t!"
2 Unicron: "For a time, I had considered sparing your wretched little
planet Cybertron. But now, you shall witness ... its dismemberment!"
2 Various: "Bah weep graaaagnah wheep ni ni bong!" (Universal greeting)
[That's the official spelling, by the way.]
3 Frenzy/Rumble: "Hey! Nobody calls Soundwave un-crasimatic!"
3 Starscream: "Megatron? Is that you?"
Galvatron: "Here's a hint!" **BLAM!**
5 Megatron: "Such heroic nonsense."
6 Optimus Prime: "One shall stand, one shall fall."
9 Springer: "I've got better things to do tonight than die."
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Movie Death Scene
1 Brawn
4 Unicron
7 Ironhide
7 Prowl
19 Optimus Prime
22 Starscream
Optimus Prime's tied with Kickback (Head gets run over.)
--DeadPhrog
[I don't think Kickback actually *died* then -- he got tossed out of the
shuttle later, if I remember correctly.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Song from the Movie/Soundtrack
1 Escape
1 Unicron's theme
2 Hunger
2 Instruments of Destruction
3 Autobot/Decepticon Battle
3 Death of Optimus Prime
3 Nothing's Gonna Stand in Our Way
3 Transformers/Title Theme
10 Dare to be Stupid ("Weird Al" Yankovic)
18 Dare (Stan Bush)
19 The Touch (Stan Bush)
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Character in the Movie
1 Bumblebee
1 Galvatron
1 Krannix
1 Perceptor
1 Springer
1 Wheeljack [All he did was lie there. B-]
2 Cyclonus
2 Kup
2 Scourge
3 Quintessons
3 Ultra Magnus
4 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
13 Daniel Witwicky
17 Wheelie
Wheelie grated on me juuuust a tad.
--DrotharRex
[I think he grated on people more than "just a tad"...]
Daniel. C'mon, who's kidding who? The brat's annoying!
--Stanley Lui
[Worse than Wheelie?]
Rodimus Prime. I'd rather be a hot-rod than a Winnebago any day!
--Steven Horton
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Movie Scene
1 Autobot/Junkion fight
1 Autobots escaping from Unicron
1 Daniel and Hot Rod fishing
1 Daniel saving Spike, Cliffjumper, Jazz, and Bumblebee
1 Hot Rod's dueling practice
1 Hot Rod and Kup struggling underwater after the crash on Quintessa
1 Ironhide's point-blank execution
1 Kup getting repaired
1 Kup using the universal greeting with the Sharkticons
1 Megatron begging for mercy from Optimus Prime
1 Megatron being scanned by Unicron
1 Rodimus Prime vs. Galvatron
1 Rodimus Prime's victory speech
1 Scourge popping his head up while in vehicle mode
1 Soundwave ejects two Frenzy-colored (red) cassettes
1 Spike's gratuitous use of the word "sh*t."
1 Ultra Magnus putting the Matrix in his chest
1 Ultra Magnus' death
1 Unicron picking up Galvatron in his fingers (bad size-change animation)
1 Wheelie kissing Grimlock
2 Daniel learning to use his exo-suit
2 Daniel transforming/running over Shrapnel and Scavenger in his exo-suit
2 Decepticons fighting inside Astrotrain
2 Sharkticon pits/Hot Rod and Kup vs. the Sharkticons
3 Decepticons attacking/Autobots massacred in the shuttle
3 Starscream's coronation ceremony/Constructicons playing trumpets
3 Ultra Magnus' quick-lube repair
3 Wheelie meets the Dinobots
6 Autobot/Junkion dance
The Junkion dance scene. It clearly showed that psychedelic drugs and cartoon
writing don't mix.
--David Filip
End scene with Autobots on Cybertron, proclaiming the Cybertronian wars are
over. What, did the Decepticons just hand over the keys and say "lock the
door when you're through", or what!
--Troy Ledgerwood
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Movie Quote
1 Astrotrain: "Jettison some weight or I'll never make it to Cybertron."
1 Blaster: "What's shaking, Perceptor, other than this fortress?"
1 Spike: "Sh*t!"
1 Spike: "What are we going to do now?"
1 Daniel: "It's kinda tricky." (re: using the exo-suit)
1 Daniel: "This must be the junk capital of the universe."
1 Daniel: "Transform!"
1 Daniel: "Yeah! I did it!"
1 Galvatron: "It's a pity you Autobots die so easily, or I might have a
sense of satisfaction."
1 Galvatron: "Unicron, my master ... with this, I shall make you my slave."
1 Grimlock: "Me Grimlock kick butt!"
1 Hot Rod: "Never!"
1 Megatron: "I'll rip out your optics!"
1 Megatron: "No more, Optimus Prime! Grant me mercy -- I beg of you!"
1 Optimus Prime: "One shall stand, one shall fall."
1 Perceptor: "A cursory evaluation of Decepticon capability indicates a
distinct tactical deficiency!"
1 Quintesson Bailiff: "Would you like to beg for your lives? It sometimes
helps, but not often."
1 Soundwave: "Soundwave superior, Constructicons inferior."
1 Ultra Magnus: "Daniel, we'll do everything we can for Spike."
1 Ultra Magnus: "I'll unleash the power of the Matrix."
1 Wheelie: "Picture you got? Now fool you not!"
1 Wheelie: "Ship, stare, over there!"
2 Daniel: "I guess I just miss my dad."
2 Various: "Bah weep graaaagnah wheep ni ni bong!" (Universal greeting)
3 Various: "'Til all are one!"
4 Wheelie: "Wheelie say, find friends today!"
Grimlock: "Me Grimlock say we on our way!"
6 Wheelie: "Friends find, look behind."
"Friend find, look behind." Not only is it stupid, it doesn't make any sense.
--Lizard
[It makes sense in the original script, but the scene that it references was
cut from the final version, so Wheelie ends up sounding dumb AND annoying.]
Anything Daniel said. ... I just feel like throttling the dork every time he
opens his mouth. :>
--Brent David Stocking
["'Til all are one!"] When did the Autobots get a mantra?
--Jim Smith
"Waugh! Blog Nlamlah flam plughnul!" or whatever the hell it is that Wreck-Gar
is saying, cuz I could never understand it.
--Bubsy
[Hey, even those of us who've had several years' training in understanding
Monty Python voices have problems with Wreck-Gar at times...]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Movie Death Scene
1 Ratchet
2 Dirge/Ramjet/Thrust (eaten by Unicron)
2 Kranix
2 Megatron
3 Unicron
3 Wheeljack
3 Windcharger
4 Starscream
5 Brawn
5 Ironhide
6 Optimus Prime
7 Prowl
8 Ultra Magnus
Prowl's. Why didn't they just blow his head off or something even more
gruesome? Sheesh, this was for kids.
--Arklier
[According to the script, the shot was supposed to show that Prowl was "melted
from the inside." Puts the scene in an even gorier perspective...]
Wheeljack/Windcharger/any other off-camera death scenes.
--Ty W. Stalnaker
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Song from the Movie/Soundtrack
1 Autobot/Decepticon Battle
1 Escape
2 Nothing's Going to Stand in Our Way
3 Death of Optimus Prime
5 Hunger
6 Instruments of Destruction
6 Transformers/Title Theme
12 Dare to be Stupid [Sacriledge!]
Lion's way-too-80s rendition of the theme.
--Anonymous
At least "Dare To Be Stupid" fits the scene.
--Boris Ammerlaan
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Character Who Should Not Have Died in the Movie, but Did
1 Hot Rod
1 Windcharger
2 Kranix
2 Unicron
3 Ratchet
5 Brawn
5 Wheeljack
6 Megatron
6 Starscream
9 Optimus Prime
9 Prowl
15 Ironhide
Brawn took a shot in the shoulder and then fell down dead? What's the
rationale for that?
--David Filip
[Arthritis?]
Shockwave (I presume he died in the movie, but if that doesn't cut it, Prowl)
--Ben Kutcher
[Shockwave died in the first draft of the script, and was shown being crushed
by Unicron. But we're not voting on first drafts here, sorry.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Character Who Should Have Died in the Movie, but Didn't
1 Arcee
1 Huffer [Did he even show up?]
1 Kup
1 Perceptor
1 Reflector ("He should have had a cameo, at least")
1 Rodimus Prime
1 Shrapnel
1 Soundwave
1 Sparkplug Witwicky ("It would give us an explanation of where he
disappeared afterward")
1 Starscream's Ghost
1 Steeljaw
1 Sunstreaker
1 The other Cyclonus
1 Unicron
1 Wreck-Gar
2 Devastator
2 Hot Rod
2 Quintessons
2 Scourge
2 Spike Witwicky
3 Blurr
3 Bumblebee
4 Galvatron
5 Daniel Witwicky
8 Ultra Magnus ("He should have stayed dead.")
13 Wheelie
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The Celluloid Pavlov Award, for the one line in the movie that's most
likely to be chanted by an audience of fans watching it
1 Blaster: "Cover your receptors, Perceptor!"
1 Frenzy/Rumble: "Hey! Nobody calls Soundwave un-crasimatic!"
1 Grimlock: "Me Grimlock kick butt!"
1 Grimlock: "Tell Grimlock about petro rabbits again."
1 Kranix: "Look, it's Unicron!"
1 Lion: "More than meets the eye." [From the title theme]
1 Megatron: "Such heroic nonsense."
1 Optimus Prime: "Now all we need is a little energon, and a lot of luck."
1 Quintesson bailiff: "Feed him to the Sharkticons."
1 Springer: "I've got better things to do tonight than die."
2 Optimus Prime: "One shall stand, one shall fall."
2 Rodimus Prime: "Autobots, transform and roll out!"
2 Starscream: "Ow, my foot!"
3 Galvatron: "Here's a hint!"
3 Megatron: "It's over, Prime."
3 Spike Witwicky: "Sh*t!"
5 Starscream: "Wanna bet?"
8 Various: "'Til all are one!"
19 Various: "Bah weep graaaagnah wheep ni ni bong!" (Universal greeting)
[Energon goodies for everybody!]
"Bah weep graaagnah wheep ni ni bong"---Can't you just hear a gang of stoned
idiots mumbling that in unison in the darkness of a crowded theater?
--Laurie Edwards
[YEAH!!! B-]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The "WHOOPS!" Award, for the SINGLE biggest animation error in the movie
1 Camera pan before Optimus Prime knocks Megatron off the platform
1 Daniel appears at the acid vat before he actually arrives
1 Dead Decepticons appearing in later scenes
1 Decepticons thrown out of Astrotrain were also in Astrotrain
1 Hot Rod's leg disappears when he smashes on the spike inside Unicron
1 Hot Rod's multiple transformations
1 Optimus Prime's super-flying-hang-time when he attacks the Decepticons
1 Ratchet dropped into Unicron's acid vat
1 Screen jump as Sharkticon attacks Hot Rod
1 Swoop appears in Autobot City before Dinobots arrive
1 The escape colony ship of Lithonians
1 Thundercracker moving out of Cyclonus' way at Starscream's coronation
("They're the same dude!")
1 Transformers' sizes with regard to Unicron were inconsistent/wrong
(They should have been much smaller)
1 Unicron rebuilding the old Decepticons (unclear who becomes whom)
2 Soundwave ejects two Frenzy-colored (red) cassettes
2 Starscream appearing at the battle with Unicron
3 Devastator forming inside Astrotrain
4 Ultra Magnus putting the Matrix into his chest twice
5 Shrapnel appearing on the planet of Junk
5 Sunstreaker on the Autobot shuttle and at Autobot City
6 Cyclonus and his armada of one/Cyclonus' disappearing "armada"
8 Snarl's appearances/disappearances
There really weren't all that many BIG errors ... but I'd say Swoop's trick
knee. The one that is somehow in Autobot City the night before the rest of
him arrives from Cybertron.
--M Sipher
[Gee, you could tell it was Swoop's knee and not someone else's? B-]
There were mistakes?
--MegaBee
[Look up.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The Micromanagement Award, for the one (and only one!) change you'd most
want to make in the movie
1 Add Deluxe Insecticons
1 Add Jetfire/Skyfire
1 Add Omega Supreme
1 Autobots lose
1 Brawn lives
1 Daniel dies at Decepticon attack on Autobot City
1 Daniel saves Spike and the Autobots, but falls into the acid vat
1 Dialogue between Hot Rod and Optimus Prime at Prime's deathbed
1 Dirge gets more air time
1 Don't make the movie [You read it right, folks.]
1 Following what happened to Hound, Sunstreaker, etc.
1 Galvatron dies after fight with Rodimus Prime (not just thrown clear)
1 Galvatron wins fight with Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
1 Give Astrotrain a reason why he needs to jettison weight in space
1 Grimlock dismembers Wheelie
1 Hot Rod doesn't interfere with Optimus and Megatron's showdown
1 Hot Rod doesn't change form when he opens the Matrix
1 Ironhide lives
1 Kup gets the Matrix
1 Lithone would have organtic life forms, not robotic ones
1 More balanced ending
1 More older Decepticons shown after Galvatron takes over
1 More scenes inside Unicron
1 No mystical Matrix stuff
1 Nobody dies [Not even Unicron?]
1 One Cyclonus
1 Original characters didn't die
1 Original characters do more than just show up and die
1 Prolong the Blaster/Soundwave/cassettebots fight
1 Prowl takes more than one hit to die
1 Prowl gets the Matrix
1 Replace the main characters by those who died on the shuttle [Huh?]
1 Restore original script scene of Dinobots foiling Quintesson garden traps
[It goes right before the "beryllium baloney" exchange.]
1 Rewrite it to match issue #75 of the comic
1 Soundwave doesn't make a bid for Decepticon leadership
1 Springer beats Wreck-Gar/Junkions
1 Title theme sung by Teengenerate
1 Unicron tears half of Cybertron off before the Matrix does its part
1 Written by Simon Furman
2 Autobots don't die in the shuttle
2 Bigger fight at Autobot City
2 Daniel fails to save Spike from the acid vat
[Great, put the kid in therapy for the rest of his life...]
2 Explain Unicron's origins and motivations (no Primacron)
2 Megatron doesn't become Galvatron (keeps Megatron name/identity)
2 Prolong fight between Rodimus Prime and Galvatron/Make Rodimus work
harder for victory
2 Put Snarl in the Dinobots' scenes
2 Starscream lives
3 Feature even more characters
3 No Wheelie
THE FIGHT BETWEEN Rodimus Prime & Galvatron SHOULD'VE LASTED LONGER THAN
THAT!
--Weapon X
One? That's hardly enough.
--James Thompson
Only one??
--Dave Edwards
Only one?! No fair...
--Diana Calder
[Hey, I have to keep this MANAGABLE...]
=============================================================================
PART IV: COMICS AND MANGA
Only comics and stuff sanctioned by Hasbro/Kenner/Takara are eligible for
these awards (no fan-produced fanzines, sorry). Comics recognized in this
category are the first American Marvel comics, the "Generation 2" American
Marvel comics, the UK Marvel comics, and the Japanese "TV Magazine" black-
and-white manga.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Single Issue of a Comic
1 Transformers, #5 (Shockwave takes over)
1 Transformers, #8 (Ratchet rescues the Dinobots)
1 Transformers, #13 (Bank robber and Megatron)
1 Transformers, #17 (Introduction of Autobots on Cybertron)
1 Transformers, #19 (Introduction of Omega Supreme)
1 Transformers, #20 (Skids goes solo)
1 Transformers, #25 (Megatron hunted by the Predacons)
1 Transformers, #50 (End of Underbase Saga)
1 Transformers, #40 (Introduction of Pretenders)
1 Transformers, #65 (Matrix Quest, part 4)
1 Transformers, #67 (Alternate-universe Galvatron defeats the Autobots)
1 Transformers, #80 (End of original series)
1 Transformers UK, #50 (End of Dinobot Hunt)
1 Transformers UK, #150 (The Legacy of Unicron, part 5)
1 Transformers UK, #248 (Fallen Star)
1 Transformers: Generation 2, #2 (Fortress Maximus vs. Megatron/"Ghosts")
1 Transformers: Generation 2, #11 (Optimus Prime and Megatron vs. the
Starscream-Warworld)
1 Transformers: Generation 2, #12 (Resolution of the Swarm)
2 Transformers, #12 (Rescue of Optimus Prime's head)
2 Transformers, #62 (Matrix Quest, part 1)
2 Transformers, #70 (Megatron/Ratchet fused together)
2 Transformers, #76 (Aftermath of Unicron battle)
4 Transformers: Generation 2, #1
8 Transformers, #75 (Unicron vs. Cybertron)
The one where the Decepticon Changling befriends the human girl.
--Anonymous
[I don't know of an issue like this...?]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Multiple-Issue Story Arc in a Comic
1 Headmasters, #1-4 (Entire limited series)
1 Transformers, #5-8 (Ratchet against the Decepticons)
1 Transformers, #17-18 (Building the Space Bridge)
1 Transformers, #56-61 (Simon Furman begins/Matrix Quest prelude)
1 Transformers, #67-80 (Unicron's arrival/showdown/aftermath)
1 Transformers, #68-73 (Shockwave and Starscream vs. Decepticons)
1 Transformers UK, #42-50 (Crisis of Command/Icarus Theory/Dinobot Hunt)
1 Transformers UK, #96-100 (Autobots mistake Optimus for an imposter)
2 Transformers, #5-12 (Optimus Prime's head used to create new Decepticons)
2 Transformers UK, #199-205 (Time Wars)
3 Transformers, #1-4 (Original limited series)
4 Transformers, #67-75 (The coming of Unicron)
4 Transformers: Generation 2, #1-12
10 Transformers, #62-66 (Matrix Quest) (with or without Transformers, #61)
The return of Unicron. Simon Furman's artwork is awesome.
--Steven Horton
[Um, when did Furman ever draw?]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Comic Book Writer
1 Bob Budansky
1 Larry Hama
1 Ralph Macchio
36 Simon Furman
[With a whopping 92% of the votes, the people have spoken:]
Simon Furman, DUH!
--Dave Edwards
Simon Furman, the one and only!
--Charlotte Brogden
FURMAN, FURMAN!
--Iggy Drougge
Well, what can I say? Furman all the way. Too bad he didn't come in sooner.
--Arklier
[Amen, brother.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Comic Book Artist
1 Artist for Transformers 3-D comic book
1 Barry Kitson
1 Frank Springer
1 Herb Trimpe
1 Jeff Anderson (Marvel UK)
3 William Johnson
6 Derek Yaniger
10 Andrew Wildman
11 Geoff Senior
Derek Derek Bo Berek Banana Fana Fo Ferek Me Mi Mo Merek Yaniger.
--Playground Psychotic
Derek Yaniger
(Arg! Or is it Andrew Wildman?! Damn you for making me choose!)
--Stanley Lui
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Comic Book Quote
1 Blaster: "Look, Grimster -- I'm the trustworthy one. You're not. Got
it? If this were your suggestion, neither of us would believe it."
Grimlock: "Me know me wouldn't." (Transformers, #41)
1 Blurr: "Ohno,ohno!I'monlyfourmillionyearsold!I'mtooYOUNGtodie!"
(Transformers, #59)
1 Bumblebee: "Do all small, pink things ask so many questions?"
(Transformers, #2)
1 Galen: "One moment of distrust can tear down what ten thousand years has
built." (Headmasters, #1)
1 Goldbug: "I've been showing Rollbar some 'Tee Vee'! That Herbie's my kind
of hero!" (Transformers UK, unknown issue number)
1 Grimlock (to Ultra Magnus): "Fruitloop Multipuck." (Transformers, #41)
1 Omega Supreme: "I am the guardian of the gates ... the junction of your
destructions ... the laser lighting the way to your doom ... the
planner of your obsolescence...the furnace that fires your demise ...
I am the number you cannot compute, Decepticon!" (Transformers, #19)
[I think I liked him better when he spoke in two-word sentences.]
1 Jazz: "I'm sorry, where are my manners? Wall, meet Stranglehold.
Stranglehold, meet the wall!" (Transformers, #61)
1 Jhiaxus: "We are Decepticons. There is nothing we cannot face, nothing
we cannot fight, nothing we cannot crush!"
(Transformers: Generation 2, #12)
1 Megatron: "I can excite electrons! I can implode neutrons!"
(G.I. Joe #142)
1 Nightbeat: "At least Siren's one of a--"
Hot Rod: "Yeeee-haaaaaa!"
Nightbeat: "Gnnn--! Blasted youth element!" (Transformers, #75)
1 Nightbeat: "Excuse me, sir, madam -- whatever!" (Transformers, #62)
1 Nightbeat: "Interrogation is a science, combining psychology and bluff,
observation and--" (ducks) "--reflexes!" (Transformers, #62)
1 Optimus Prime: "You must die, Primus -- so that all might live!"
(Transformers, #75)
1 Ratchet: "All of what you have said about me is true ... until now."
(Transformers, #8)
1 Scorponok: "The real Scorponok wouldn't have turned and fled! He'd have
accepted his responsibilities, his fate! Can I then do no less? I
think not! Unicron! I'm coming for you!" (Transformers, #75)
1 Shockwave: "That kind of inefficiency occurred under Megatron's command.
My command will be different." (Transformers, #27)
1 Shockwave: "Uhhh ... I had not figured ... Jetfire's treachery into my
equation..." (Transformers, #12)
1 Soundwave: "You are a missile with a mouth, Starscream!"
(Transformers UK, #42)
1 Unicron Acolyte: "He's down! Hold him while I--"
Bludgeon: "Die?" (Transformers, #74)
2 Grimlock: "If Decepticons not see that their way wrong, it up to us to
educate them -- the hard way!" (Transformers: Generation 2, #1)
The whole part where Ratbat explains his plan in the carwash of doom :P
--Arklier
Grimock's speech to Optimus in Gen 2 #1. Almost made me like Autobots.
--Lizard
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Single Issue of a Comic
1 Beast Wars (Optimus Primal/Megatron two-pack)
1 Headmasters, #2 (Headmasters created)
1 Transformers, #3 (Guest starring Spider-Man)
1 Transformers, #5 (Shockwave assumes command of the Decepticons)
1 Transformers, #15 (Introduction of Robot Master)
1 Transformers, #19 (Introduction of Omega Supreme/Skids abandoned)
1 Transformers, #44 (???)
1 Transformers, #50 (End of the Underbase Saga)
1 Transformers, #80 (End of first comic book series)
1 Transformers: Generation 2, #1
1 Transformers: Generation 2, #10 (Jhiaxus attacks Earth)
2 Transformers: Generation 2, #2 (Fortress Maximus vs. Megatron/"Ghosts")
2 Transformers, #26 (Introduction of The Mechanic)
2 Transformers, #24 (Optimus Prime dies over a video game)
2 Transformers, #68 (First appearance of super-humans)
[Hey, that was the issue that got me back into TransFandom again.]
3 Transformers, #43 (Adaptation of "Big Broadcast of 2006")
4 Transformers, #55 (Interplanetary Wrestling Championship)
11 Transformers, #31 (The Car Wash of Doom)
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Multiple-Issue Story Arc in a Comic
1 G. I. Joe, #139-142 (Transformers: Generation 2 crossover)
1 Transformers, #1-4 (Original limited series)
1 Transformers, #5-8 (Ratchet against the Decepticons)
1 Transformers, #5-12 (Optimus Prime's head used to create new Decepticons)
1 Transformers, #22-23 (Autobots captured/Circuit Breaker vs.
Battlechargers)
1 Transformers, #54-56 (Micromasters)
1 Transformers, #60-75 (Life and times of Primus/Primus vs. Unicron)
2 Transformers, #5-55 (Entire Bob Budiansky run)
2 Transformers, #15-20 (Robot Master)
2 Transformers, #24/Transformers, #42 (Optimus-on-a-floppy)
2 Transformers, #62-66 (Matrix Quest)
3 Transformers, #28-41(???) (King Grimlock, Autobot commander)
4 Transformers, #35-45 (Kids in space)
[The same story arc appears in Transformers UK, #138-191]
4 Transformers, #47-50 (The Underbase Saga)
King Grimlock. Arg ... Grimlock is too cool to act like that. Of course, it
was also during that time we got the "Cosmic Carnival" ... kinda like pouring
lemon juice on a paper cut.
--M Sipher
THE WHOLE DAMN BUDIANSKY RUN!!!!! May Primus have mercy....
--Lia Brown
[Wowee, there go my eardrums.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Comic Book Writer
1 Writer of Beast Wars booklet (Optimus Primal/Megatron two-pack)
1 Jim Salicrup
1 Len Kaminski (Transformers, #16)
1 Simon Furman ("G2 Simon Furman")
2 Ralph Macchio
23 Bob Budiansky
[If Bob Budiansky ever wonders how he would be greeted by the TransFans, these
last three awards should answer that very decisively, methinks.]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Comic Book Artist
1 Alan Kupperberg
1 Artist of Beast Wars booklet (Optimus Primal/Megatron two-pack)
1 Barry Kitson (Transformers UK, #60)
1 Will Simpson
2 Andrew Wildman
2 Don Perlin
3 Frank Springer
4 Dwayne Turner (Transformers, #68)
7 Jose Delbo
8 Manny Galan
Dwayne Turner beats Manny Galan by a precariously slim margin...
--Dave Edwards
[Not around here he doesn't.]
Toss-up; Manny Galan and Frank Springer. Springer had no sense of proportion,
Galan was just plain hideous.
--Playground Psychotic
JOSE DELBO!! - Couldn't draw at all, all characters were bent backwards so
they looked like they stared at birds all the time. Stupid small eyeballs &
gaping mouths.
--Lars Eriksson
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Comic Book Quote
1 Jetfire: "Humans don't bounce very well, do they? Not like the ballobots
with which we play basketrek on Cybetron." (Transformers, #21)
1 Junkion: "Where's my lunch box?" (Transformers, #43)
1 Masthead : "Writer: Bob Budiansky" (Various)
1 Nick Fury: "Dum-Dum, if that big green, fire-snortin' lizard is loose
again, I quit!" (Transformers, #3)
1 Optimus Prime: "Thus, let us finish the task that has driven our kind for
centuries. But first..."
Megatron: "...Are we all accounted for on this brave new world?"
(Transformers, #1)
1 Ratbat: "Don't bother, my slaves, I'll attend to the young fleshling
myself ... and make sure he gets a wash he'll NEVER forget!"
(Transformers, #31)
1 Siren: "Uhh, dead alien -- gross!" (Transformers, #62)
1 Skids: "Please press the red button to shut me down for the night."
(Transformers, #22)
1 Various: "It's over -- finished!" (Transformers, various issues)
1 Letter column: "Next Issue: Whoops -- force of habit. Sorry."
(Transformers, #80)
The entire 'introduction page' in Gen 1, issue 1. "Hound present and
accounted for! I can't wait to use my holographic projection and enhanced
sensors to go beat those Decepticons!", ad nauseum.
--Lizard
I don't recall the exact quote, but it was in the UK story "Prime's Rib"
(can't recall the issue # either), where Jazz and someone else is puzzling
over what a female is, and one says something like "I think it has something
to do with the dimensions of the upper torso...."
--Raksha
[The issue was Transformers UK, #234. I'd give an exact quote, but
unfortunately, I don't have a copy of the issue. Someone want to sell me the
entire Transformers UK comics run?]
[Re: Skids' quote] So the Transformers all pressed each other's shutoff
buttons before they went to sleep?
--MegaBee
[Sure, but never on a first date. B-]
Anything by Bob Budainsky between humans. :-)
--Andrew C.
Any quote saying "______ (fill in name in bold here) doesn't agree, ______",
or "Count ______ in!" You get the idea.
--Lia Brown
[Yup. The sledgehammer school of expository dialogue. From my memory,
there's a perfect example of that in Headmasters #4.]
=============================================================================
PART V: NET.FANDOM
This category is devoted specifically to Internet-based fandom, such as the
Usenet group alt.toys.transformers, WWW pages, and the various TF MUSHes.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best nom du net, for the net.transfan with the most interesting handle
1 Anubis Crasher Soundwave
1 Boobsaibot
1 DeadPhrog
1 Drogn
1 Elergy Dirge
1 Lazeric
1 Lizard
1 Primeval Reckoning
1 The Living Legend
1 Weapon X
1 Zobovor
2 M Sipher
3 Playground Psychotic
3 The Nixtr
6 Raksha
6 Wonko the Sane
8 MegaBee
[No comments from me about folks who voted for their own net.names. B-]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Discussion of the Year in alt.toys.transformers
1 alt.toys.transformers is dead [It is?]
1 Anything flaming Raksha
1 Anything to