[The screen is blank. FADE UP on a faint dot, pulsing in the center.
A crescendo begins to build. The dot SHIMMERS AND EXPANDS in tune with the
volume, quickly growing to a large CROSS SHAPE.
The music crashes with a climax and the cross EXPLODES in a kalidescope of
colored dots. The tune is "Transformers: The Movie -- Alternate Title
Theme," by Stan Bush with Vince DiCola. The title appears superimposed
above the cascading display:]
THE 1997
TTTTTTTTT RRRRRRRR AAAA NNNN NNN NNNN NNN III EEEEEEEEE SSSSSSSS
TTT RRR RRR AAAAAA NNNNN NNN NNNNN NNN III EEE SSS
TTT RRR RRRR AAAAAA NNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNN III EEEEEEE SSSSSS
TTT RRR RRR AAA AAA NNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNN III EEE SSS
TTT RRR RRR AAA AAA NNN NNNN NNN NNNN III EEE SSS
TTT RRR RRR AAA AAAAAA NNN NNN NNN NNN III EEEEEEEEE SSSSSSSS
(Still) Usenet's one and only Transformers Fan Awards!
[As the music plays, the light machine THROBS in beat, with lines that
PULSE and SPARKLE with each note. The background CHANGES every few
seconds: flying starfields, spinning shapes, a blizzard of pixels,
kalidescopic circles and lines and patterns -- all PULSING to the beat of
the music with BRIGHT SHIFTING COLORS shifting faster than the eye can
follow.
A few seconds later, the title disappears, and a variety of Transformers-
related images scroll by, partially translucent over the background:]
...the running Predacons skid to an abrupt stop, then leap into
the air and form Predaking...
...the 1997 Beast Wars toy assortment, arranged in a battle
diorama...
...an astonished Galvatron gapes as he stares up at the just-
transformed Unicron...
...the double-page spread from Transformers #74, as Emirate
Xaaron addresses a full crowd of Autobots and Decepticons...
...Star Saber and Deathsaurus lock swords in combat...
...a slow pan across a pyramid of rare toys and prototypes...
...stepping out of the smoke, Optimus Primal stares down the
Predacons in his new Transmetal body...
...a collection of assorted fanzines and magazines: Trans-Forum,
Transmasters, Con-Quest, Transformers Continued G2...
...Blackarachnia and Tarantulas writhe in pain, simultaneously
tortured through their shared mindlink...
...Stan Bush and Vince DiCola in concert, from BotCon '97...
[The last image rolls off the screen as the music builds to a finish. The
background pixels implode to a point, then slowly fades out as the song
ends. The camera then PANS DOWN, revealing an OPEN-AIR AMPITHEATER at
NIGHT. Spotlights play on the stage, and a packed audience can be seen at
the edges of the screen.
Camera ZOOMS IN on the stage. It is tastefully decorated but sparse, with
only a large SCREEN in the center and a single PODIUM to one side. Hanging
on the curtains are the various AUTOBOT and DECEPTICON symbols (original,
G2, and Beast Wars). The Autobots' symbols are to the audience's left, and
the Decepticons' are to the right.
After a few seconds, the stage lights dim to more comfortable levels. Off-
screen, an announcer speaks:]
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, Autobots and Decepticons, Maximals
and Predacons! Welcome to the 1997 Trannies!
[Applause.]
ANNOUNCER: And here is your host for the evening, Mr. Rob--
what? ... Ladies and gentlemen, Rattrap and Wheeljack!
[Applause. A white Lancia Stratos race car and a giant metal purple rat
roll onstage. They stop in the center, then transform into Wheeljack and
Rattrap. Rattrap waves to the audience, but Wheeljack looks down at him in
disapproval.]
RATTRAP: Thank you, thank--
WHEELJACK: Why did you do that?
RATTRAP: Uhhh ... do what?
WHEELJACK: (sternly) You KNOW what.
RATTRAP: Aw, it was just a love tap.
WHEELJACK: He's out COLD!
RATTRAP: Yeah, well, he could use the rest. It won't do any
permanent damage, don't get yer muffler banged up
over it.
WHEELJACK: But he's the HOST! He's supposed to open the show,
and greet the audience, and tell them about the--
RATTRAP: Ferget it! Nobody wants to hear that!
WHEELJACK: But what about the in--
RATTRAP: He can save it fer later! Besides, it's not like
we're shuttin' him out or anythin' -- his comments
are still here ... even if they stink worse than
bad limburger.
WHEELJACK: But--! (resigned) Oh, never mind...
RATTRAP: Trust me, this is better. We can skip the boring
junk and get right to the good stuff!
WHEELJACK: It's still wrong.
RATTRAP: Unngh...! Look, I'll make it up to him, okay?
WHEELJACK: You BETTER.
RATTRAP: I'll buy him a new toy or somethin'.
WHEELJACK: I suppose...
RATTRAP: C'mon, then! We got a show ta do!
===========================================================================
PART I: CHARACTERS
WHEELJACK: Um ...Welcome, everybody, to the 1997 Trannies!
Rattrap and I are here to present the character-based
awards.
RATTRAP: Right! These awards go to the most prominent,
sophisticated, and fun Transformers characters of all
time. It's pretty obvious why *I* got picked ta host
this part... (looks at Wheeljack) ...but why'd they
call you, Ears?
WHEELJACK: Are you SURE we're on the same side?
*** Absolutely the Most Favorite Character of All Time
1 Airazor
1 Beachcomber
1 Blaster
1 Brawn
1 Caliburst (Targetmaster partner to Slugslinger)
1 Dinobot
1 Dreadwind
1 Highbrow
1 Huffer
1 Ironhide (original)
1 Lord Straxus
1 Minerva (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
1 Mixmaster
1 Optimus Primal
1 Punch/Counterpunch
1 Quickswitch
1 Quintessons
1 Ratchet
1 Rattrap
1 Rhinox
1 Sideswipe
1 Sunstreaker
1 Tigatron
1 Wheeljack
1 Wreck-Gar
2 Blackarachnia
2 Bumblebee
2 Cheetor
2 Galvatron
2 Inferno (Beast Wars)
2 Jetfire/Skyfire
2 Kup
2 Omega Supreme
2 Prowl (original)
2 Skywarp
2 Springer
2 Waspinator
3 Cyclonus
3 Jazz
3 Megatron (Beast Wars)
3 Nightbeat
3 Ultra Magnus
6 Soundwave
7 Grimlock
7 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
8 Starscream
9 Megatron (original)
19 Optimus Prime
Optimus Prime. He's brave, strong, compassionate, heroic, and dedicated to
a good cause, how can you not like the guy?
--Antiledo
Grimlock. Mean attitude, independent thought and bad speech combined in an
apocalyptic behemoth that transforms in a T-Rex and carries a sword. What
more could you ask for?
--Marijose Diaz
[I'll let you two work this out.]
Nightbeat, of course. What else is the guy who runs a whole friggin' web
page about him going to say?
--Robert E. Powers
Cyclonus, the warrior. He's honorable, and cares deeply for the Decepticon
cause.
--Dan McCollum
Kup...though there are many favourites, he always comes out on top. He's
just too nifty to be replaced in my affections. I had a crush on him when
I was little, and I guess his character is strong enough to stand the test
of time (not to mention my mercurial tendancies).
--Anonymous
Sunstreaker - He's a shiny, happy Autobot.
--Prowl152
Lord Straxus - he got more done as a head in a fishbowl than any of the
other Decepticon leaders did when they were intact.
--Liquid Velcro
Isn't this where we come up with a 42-way tie?
--HighRoad
RATTRAP: Hrmph! I thought I'd do better 'n that.
WHEELJACK: Oh well. The better 'bots won.
RATTRAP: Speak fer yerself.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Favorite Character(s), any Faction
1 Afterburner
1 Air Raid
1 Apeface
1 Astrotrain
1 Backstreet
1 Beta (from "Forever is a Long Time Coming")
1 Black Zarak (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
1 Bombshell
1 Brawl
1 Breakdown
1 Browning (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
1 Cindersaur
1 Colossus
1 Cosmos
1 Crosshairs
1 Darkwing
1 Dirge
1 Divebomb
1 Doubledealer
1 Dragstrip
1 Dreadwing (G2 Advanced Tactical Bomber)
1 Emirate Xaaron (from the Transformers UK comic book series)
1 Finback
1 Firestar
1 Flamefeather
1 Frenzy
1 Gears
1 Goryu (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Hardhead
1 Headstrong
1 Highbrow
1 Hubcap
1 Jaguar/Jaruga (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Jinrai (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
1 Leozak (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Lord Jhiaxus (from the Transformers: Generation 2 comic book series)
1 Lord Zarak (Headmaster partner to Scorponok [original])
1 Magnaboss
1 Metalhawk (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
1 Metroplex
1 Misfire
1 Mixmaster
1 Needlenose
1 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
1 Nightracer (BotCon '95 exclusive toy)
1 Nosecone
1 Overlord (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
1 Powerglide
1 Rampage
1 Rapido
1 Ratbat
1 Razorclaw (Beast Wars)
1 Seaspray
1 Shrapnel
1 Silverbolt (Beast Wars/Fuzor)
1 Sixshot (Destron ninja, from the Japanese "Transformers: Headmasters"
series)
1 Skram
1 Skullgrin
1 Sky Lynx
1 Skyquake
1 Slag
1 Slugfest
1 Snarl
1 Sparkstalker
1 Spike Witwicky
1 Squawktalk
1 Star Saber (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Strafe
1 Sunrunner
1 Sunstreaker
1 Superion (Aerialbots combiner)
1 Tailgate
1 Tantrum
1 Terrorsaur
1 Trailbreaker
1 Treadshot
1 Venom
1 Warpath
1 Wildrider
2 Beachcomber
2 Blot
2 Brainstorm
2 Bruticus
2 Countdown
2 Dreadwind
2 First Aid
2 Hook
2 Huffer
2 Inferno (original)
2 Lightspeed
2 Minerva (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
2 Motormaster
2 Octane
2 Predaking (original Predacons combiner)
2 Punch/Counterpunch
2 Razorclaw (original)
2 Repugnus
2 Sixshot
2 Skids
2 Sludge
2 Smokescreen (original)
2 Tracks
2 Unicron
2 Wheelie
3 Blitzwing
3 Bludgeon
3 Deathsaurus (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
3 Devastator (Constructicon combiner)
3 Hellbat (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
3 Hound
3 Lord Straxus (from the original comic book series)
3 Mindwipe
3 Perceptor
3 Ravage
3 Scattershot
3 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
3 Scorponok (original)
3 Scourge
3 Scrapper
3 Slugslinger
4 Blurr
4 Dead End
4 Mirage
4 Omega Supreme
4 Rumble
4 Sideswipe
4 Thundercracker
4 Thunderwing
4 Wreck-Gar
5 Bluestreak
6 Arcee
6 Brawn
6 Jetfire/Skyfire
6 Optimus Primal
6 Ratchet
6 Swoop
6 Tigatron
7 Airazor
7 Blaster
7 Fortress Maximus
7 Kup
7 Prowl (original)
8 Ironhide (original)
8 Nightbeat
8 Quickstrike
8 Ultra Magnus
8 Wheeljack
9 Blackarachnia
9 Cheetor
9 Rhinox
9 Shockwave
9 Swindle
9 Tarantulas
10 Megatron (Beast Wars)
10 Skywarp
12 Galvatron
12 Jazz
13 Springer
14 Cyclonus
14 Dinobot
18 Bumblebee/Goldbug
22 Inferno (Beast Wars)
22 Rattrap
25 Grimlock
27 Waspinator
28 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
31 Starscream
32 Megatron (original)
35 Soundwave
48 Optimus Prime
...Blurr, Wheelie (yeah, you heard me, Wheelie!!! ALL HAIL WHEELIE!)
--Picard42
Hauler (kidding)
--Shatter-Tite
Soundwave g1, Devastator g1, Scorpinok (bw). Always loved the loyal ones.
Blind devotion always brings a tear to my eye.
--Bernardino Spensieri
[Inferno (Beast Wars):] A crazed giant ant who calls BW Megatron "My
queen". How can you not love him?
--Keith Palmer
Wheelie... um... scratch that :)
--Soundwave9
RATTRAP: Thaaaaaaaat's better! In yer eyes, spider-boy!
WHEELJACK: You know, you tied with that psychotic ant.
RATTRAP: Yeah, well, as long as I beat-- HEY! What're you
tryin' to say there?
WHEELJACK: Nothing, nothing!
RATTRAP: Hrmph...
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Favorite Autobot/Maximal/Good Robot(tm)
1 Beachcomber
1 Blaster
1 Cheetor
1 Doublecross
1 First Aid
1 Getaway
1 Highbrow
1 Huffer
1 Powerglide
1 Silverbolt (Beast Wars/Fuzor)
1 Skids
1 Sludge
1 Sunstreaker
1 Superion
1 Wheelie
1 Wheeljack
2 Airazor
2 Brawn
2 Bumblebee
2 Ironhide
2 Jetfire/Skyfire
2 Kup
2 Minerva (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
2 Mirage
2 Nightbeat
2 Omega Supreme
2 Perceptor
2 Punch/Counterpunch
2 Tigatron
2 Wreck-Gar
3 Optimus Primal
3 Prowl (original)
3 Rattrap
3 Ultra Magnus
4 Jazz
5 Dinobot
5 Rhinox
7 Grimlock
9 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
28 Optimus Prime
Rodimus Prime, the ONLY good Autobot. They gave him something no Autobot
had had before, a personality!
--Dan McCollum
Rodimus Prime. :> Gee, this is easy.
--Rodimus
Ultra Magnus. I don't think people appreciate responsible leader types
enough. And if there weren't solid, consistent, mature types out there,
who would everyone rebel against?
--Ken Schmidt
Airazor, the only female "good character" to have a decent toy, and a toy
at all!
--Wes Whitten
WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS CONSIDERED THE GOOD......etc etc.....
--Megatron33
[Says so on the box, so there nyahh. B-]
Getaway - A cool Powermaster with good playing possibilities as a toy;
also, he looks cool!
--Martin Lund
WHEELJACK: Optimus Prime is certainly sweeping these awards,
isn't he?
RATTRAP: Whatsamatter, Ears? Jealous?
WHEELJACK: Not at all. I'm glad that he's getting the
recognition he deserves.
RATTRAP: You're kiddin' me, right? You mean ta tell me
that it doesn't bother ya one TEENSY-weensie bit
that your bumper butt is gettin' waxed by the big,
bad, legendary Optimus Prime?
WHEELJACK: Not at all.
RATTRAP: Yeesh! And I thought Silverbolt had it bad...
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Favorite Decepticon/Predacon/Bad Robot(tm)
1 Astrotrain
1 Blot
1 Bombshell
1 Dreadwind
1 Finback
1 Lord Jhiaxus
1 Mindwipe
1 Mixmaster
1 Nightracer (BotCon '95 exclusive toy)
1 Onslaught
1 Overlord (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
1 Quickstrike
1 Sixshot (Destron ninja, from the Japanese "Transformers: Headmasters"
series)
1 Skyquake (European Predator leader)
1 Swindle
1 Thundercracker
2 Shockwave
3 Tarantulas
6 Cyclonus
6 Inferno (Beast Wars)
6 Megatron (Beast Wars)
7 Skywarp
8 Blackarachnia
9 Waspinator
10 Galvatron
10 Soundwave
12 Megatron (original)
18 Starscream
Starscream. He always kept things interesting at Decepticon HQ
--Antiledo
megatron of course! and hey why are you lumping him with the bad guys?
he's charismatic, determined and is not too bothered about stepping on a
fleshie or two! who wouldn't like him?!
--Valerie Lim
[The fleshies he steps on, perhaps?]
The one and only sugarbot... Black Arachnia! =P
--Dread Wing
Soundwave (the "bad robot" part doesn't apply here, btw. . . . ;) )
--Raksha
Waspinator. Though I do object to the term "bad robot"...
--Wazzpin8or
[Hey, I'm just following the toy divisions. B-]
Cyclonus. Sort of a tragic Samurai-type character--a warrior with the
misfortune to be the vassal of a doomed, mad lord but bound to his master
by a sense of honor.
--Jordan Beasley
BW Megatron-the most competant and utterly diabolical villian ever in the
TF universe.
--Particle Man
RATTRAP: Now this is more interestin'; there's actually a
decent race fer the top spot.
WHEELJACK: Yeah, Starscream really came back this year.
RATTRAP: It must'a been that his guest spot in the "Beast
Wars" cartoon that did it. Nothin' like a high-
profile appearance on a hit show ta give your career
a boost, ya know?
WHEELJACK: It sounds a bit extreme, though. I mean, he had
to die first before he could show up.
RATTRAP: Hey, it beats sittin' around doin' nothing. And
speakin' of dyin', how'd you get here, anyway?
Didn't you buy it in the movie?
WHEELJACK: I got better.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Favorite Gestalt/Combiner
1 Liokaiser/Breastforce (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory"
series)
1 Super God Ginrai (Super Jinrai + Godbomber; from the Japanese
"Transformers: Masterforce" series)
1 Victory Saber (Star Saber + Victory Leo; from the Japanese
"Transformers: Victory" series)
2 Dinoking/Dinoforce (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
2 Raiden/Trainbots (from the Japanese "Transformers: Headmasters"
series)
3 Piranacon/Seacons
4 Magnaboss
6 Abominus/Terrorcons
7 Defensor/Protectobots
8 Computron/Technobots
8 Menasor/Stunticons
8 Superion/Aerialbots
11 Bruticus/Combaticons
25 Devastator/Constructicons
28 Predaking/Predacons (original)
Predaking -- the gestalts get called out when you want the big guns on the
battlefield... And Predaking looks more menacing than the others. He looks
like one giant robot, rather than 5 (or 6) stuck together trying to be one
robot.
--Carrie R. Brown
Devestator. Big, green, flattening machine.
--Bernardino Spensieri
Hmmm... tough one, but I guess I'd have to go with Victory Sabre. Just
because Vic Leo rocks the free world and parts of communist China.
--Rodimus
Computron... mostly because he's got such fun dialogue.
--M Sipher
The Stunticons, the psychologist's nightmare.
--Velociripper
Does Omega Supreme count as a gestalt? And if so, doesn't Optimus as well?
Or does he just eat Roller and spit him out of hyperspace through the
garbage chute when needed?
--ArkNorth
[Urm...]
Magnaboss, 'cuz he's got a kickass sword =)
--Dread Wing
WHEELJACK: That's odd.
RATTRAP: What?
WHEELJACK: I can see why the older combiners won, but how come
there weren't any votes for Tripredacus?
RATTRAP: Yeah, even Magnaboss raked in a few points.
WHEELJACK: I wonder why...
RATTRAP: It's the face.
WHEELJACK: The face?
RATTRAP: Sure. You ever seen the face on Tripredacus? Now
THERE'S a mug that can knock the stink off a shi--
WHEELJACK: Okay, okay!
RATTRAP: Oops! Heh, almost fergot, this is a family show...
WHEELJACK: *Whew*
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Favorite Subteam/Group
1 Axelerators
1 Cassettes
1 Classic Pretenders
1 Female Autobots
1 Firecons
1 Omnibots (S.T.A.R.S. mail-order exclusive toys)
1 Original (first year) Transformers
1 Rotor Force
1 Scourge and the Sweeps
1 Sharkticons
1 Throttlebots
2 Junior Headmasters (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce"
series)
2 Junkions
2 Micromasters
2 Wreckers (from the Transformers UK comic book series)
3 Battlechargers
3 Decepticon jets
3 Monsterbots
4 Decepticon cassettes
6 Headmasters
7 Insecticons
65 Dinobots
[The stage shakes violently.]
RATTRAP: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA! What was that, an
earthquake?!
WHEELJACK: Actually, I think it was a victory dance...
The Dinobots. They're so dumb that it's cute.
--Chase Hawks
The Battlechargers. They act and talk like Beavis and Butthead, and who
doesn't love those wacky pair? :p
--Dalmatian
Firecons. What, you thought I was going to say Jumpstarters? :)
--Liquid Velcro
Sharkticons! (That should count!)
--Terri Torrez
[Yes, but can they? B-]
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Favorite Non-Toy Character
1 Arcee/Daniel HeadMaster
1 Beta (from "Forever is a Long Time Coming")
1 Chromia (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
1 Daniel Witwicky
1 Firestar
1 G.B. Blackrock
1 Hauler (from "More Than Meets the Eye," part 1)
1 Impactor (from the Transformers UK comic book series)
1 Liege Maximo (from the Transformers: Generation 2 comic book series)
1 Scraplets (from Transformers #29-30)
1 Scrounge (from Transformers #17)
1 Vector Sigma
1 Violenjiger (from the Japanese "Transformers: Zone" series)
2 Deathcobra (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
2 Emirate Xaaron
2 Quintessons
2 Skyfire (not Jetfire)
2 Teletran 1
3 Alpha Trion
3 Defcon (from "The Gambler")
3 Primus
3 Rook (from the Transformers: Generation 2 comic book series)
4 Circuit Breaker
4 Elita-1
4 Lord Straxus (from the first comic book series)
5 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
6 Death's Head (from the Transformers UK comic book series)
7 Lord Jhiaxus
17 Arcee
30 Unicron
Unicron. Not only is he massively powerful, he's one of the few villans
that really can scare the pants off of you.
--Stormcloud
[Then it's a good thing the Transformers don't wear pants. B-]
Arcee. Too bad the cartoon didn't give her more characterization, but....
wait, this -is- the cartoon I'm talking about...
--Velociripper
Scrounge (from the American TF comic) he would have been an excellent side-
kick to Blaster if they hadn't, for example, killed him off instantly for
dramatic effect. Come on, there were *much* more deserving Autobots to die
in his place...
--Andrew Crane
The yellow, green, and dark blue Seekers from "Divide and Conquer." I don't
care what anyone says, those color schemes RULE dammit.
--Wazzpin8or
Rook. He's gonna kick Liege Maximo's butt someday.
--Stanley Lui
Death's Head (does he count?)
--Wonko the Sane
[If I value my life, yes?]
Volnigjiger/VoilenJigger/ViolinJuggler/Hitler. It's just so fun trying to
spell his name correctly, and even better, saying it! It's more fun that
"Xaaron!"
--EmarZero
WHEELJACK: "Val-um-jai-er"!
RATTRAP: Nah ... "Vol-in-geiger"?
WHEELJACK: No, I think it's "Violin-guyer."
RATTRAP: "Vol-en-guy-ger"?
WHEELJACK: That's not it -- "Vel-am-jie-jer"?
RATTRAP: Aw, scrap it.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Character You Most Want to Be Friends With
1 Airazor
1 Bluestreak
1 Browning (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
1 Carly Witwicky
1 Death's Head (from the Transformers UK comic book series)
1 Dinobot
1 Fortress Maximus
1 Huffer
1 Inferno (Beast Wars)
1 Ironhide (original)
1 Kakuryu (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Kup
1 Marissa Fairborne (from the original cartoon series, third season)
1 Mirage
1 Perceptor
1 Punch/Counterpunch
1 Quintessons
1 Ratchet
1 Red Alert
1 Scrapper
1 Sixshot
1 Skids
1 Skram
1 Skywarp
1 Sludge
1 Soundwave
1 Spike Witwicky
1 Thundercracker
1 Thunderwing
1 Tigatron
1 Trailbreaker
1 Ultra Magnus
2 Beachcomber
2 Blaster
2 Cheetor
2 Nightbeat
2 Omega Supreme
2 Rhinox
2 Sideswipe
2 Starscream
2 Unicron
2 Waspinator
2 Wheeljack
3 Galvatron
3 Grimlock
3 Hound
3 Megatron (original)
3 Swindle
4 Rattrap
7 Optimus Prime
9 Bumblebee
9 Jazz
14 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
uhm...Rodimus Prime. It's nice to have friends in high places. :)
--Rattrap
The fifth Junkion from the left in the "Destroy Unicrom!" chant scene... He
just looks cool.
--EmarZero
I'd hang out with Kakuryu, 'cause he's funny and kind of sweet in his own
way :) It was nice when he let all those kids play on his shell...I think
at heart he's just a nice, albeit dumb, guy.
--Lia Brown
Rhinox (Hey big R, can you fix up my computer and lend me your chain gun?)
--ToyHawk
A lot of them really, but Galv still tops the list because he shares my
opinions on a number of people--BLAST THEM!!!
--Tut
Bumblebee - I always wanted a Volkeswagon.
--The Nixtr
[Quintessons:] Can you picture yourself doing everyday activities with
these guys? Like watching 'South Park' or something: "It appears the young
human character "Kenny" has died. Might I suggest a celebratory chuckle?"
--Tengu
Tigatron. His loyalty to friends seems boundless. I was tempted to say
Inferno -- what, you think I want to be his *enemy*? =-)
--Phil Zeman
WHEELJACK: Hey, we did pretty good this time.
RATTRAP: Yeah, but Rodimus really cleaned up.
WHEELJACK: I think most of those votes were for Hot Rod,
actually.
RATTRAP: What's the diff? Aren't they the same guy?
WHEELJACK: Technically, sure. But he wasn't as carefree and
loose as he used to after he became Rodimus.
RATTRAP: I gotcha -- he became a manager.
WHEELJACK: Something like that...
------------------------------------------------------------
RATTRAP: Oboy, here's the FUN category!
WHEELJACK: Uh oh.
*** Character You Most Want to Be Lovers(!) With
1 Carissa Carr/Ethel Stankiewicz (from Transformers #45)
1 Charlene (from Transformers #20)
1 Circuit Breaker
1 Deathsaurus (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Dinobot
1 Firestar (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
1 First Aid
1 Galvatron
1 Huffer
1 Ironhide
1 Liokaiser (Breastforce combiner; from the Japanese "Transformers:
Victory" series)
1 Marissa Fairborne (from season three of the cartoon series)
1 Megatron
1 Nightbird
1 Optimus Prime
1 Rattrap
1 Rhinox
1 Soundwave
1 Thunderwing
2 Elita-1 (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
2 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
2 Springer
2 Starscream
3 Minerva (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
8 Airazor
9 Carly Witwicky
12 Arcee
16 Blackarachnia
Blackarachnia, ROWR!
I ain't going there. No way, no how. (Yes, I believe you about the
identity thing. I'm still not going there)
If Galvatron had breasts, he's be my guy...er...woman. :)
Rhinox! He's certainly well-endowed and he's got that deep, sexy voice.
[I'm afraid to ask where you concluded the endowment from...]
EEK!
EXCUSE ME! THAT IS A MOST PRIVATE airazor QUESTION, AND I REFUSE TO ANSWER
nudge-nudge-wink-wink-say-no-more ON THE GROUNDS THAT I MAY ACTUALLY -
rowlll! - TRY IT! kinky...
I don't think so. That would be taking the obsession with TFs too far.
[A trip lots of fans are willing to take, it seems.]
Starscream! Woo!
Blackarachnia. What!
[See?]
Said Deathsaurus last year, and it still stands. He's pretty sexy for a
TF....the power, the voice, that robot mode...sigh. And any TF that laughs
a lot is okay by me!
Willow Rosenberg :-)
[Female nerd on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" -- wrong show. B-]
Mmmmm, Airazor...
There's a Breastmaster Gestalt, right? Put me down for him (or her ;).
[Fan propositions Liokaiser. Liokaiser stomps on fan. End of fan. Some
guys assume too much when they hear the name "Breastforce"...]
Black Arachnia (bondage!)
[As if she'd *LET* you?]
'Fraid that would be "Too Much Information"... :)
No matter how appealing a lot of the other Decepticons are, Megatron still
beats them all out.
Rob Rob Rob, tsk tsk tsk....;)
[What? WHAT???]
The ten-foot-pole rule applies...
[Springer:] God, just *looking* at him makes me hot.... ;-]
[Other people stash magazines in the bathroom; here's someone who hides old
Transformers catalogs instead. B-]
Arcee, yes, definitely Arcee.
I'd like to go out with that Pred computer voice. Confident and clear,
real sexy.
[And from the "Shameless lust" category:]
Blackarachnia... and proud of it! My name doesn't have to be kept
anonymous, I have no shame. :)
--Soundwave9
Soundwave. Consider what it might be like making love to a telepath...
It would be a true union of body, mind, and soul. ... go ahead and say who
I am -- I'd be telling my friends about it anyway. :)
--Carrie R. Brown
Airrazor, the girl next door with supersonic flight and kickin' weaponry.
Hello nurse!
--Particle Man
Hmmm... if it was a one-night stand kind of thing, I'd give Megatron a shot
and see if he has any other loose cannons around. But if we're
talking long-term commitment, I'd probably try Springer. Maybe Arcee knows
something that the rest of us don't...
--Bobbi Carothers
Airrazor (God I love that gal and I don't care who knows it!!!)
--Beast Warrior RatBat
Ironhide. I might even volunteer for co-starring in "The Bodyguard, TFs
version". :)
--Marijose Diaz
Minerva--the back seat's already provided!
--HighRoad
Arcee. She's kind, she is. And her sense of humour doesn't utterly suck...
(Go on, Rob, tell them! The amount of marriage proposals I keep getting
will either stop or they'll be from a different set entirely!)
--Urac 'Ratbat' Sigma
RATTRAP: Man, there are some REALLY devoted fans out there.
WHEELJACK: No kidding. Still, it's harmless; just a little
fantasizing, nothing wr-- What are you doing?
RATTRAP: Lookin' for a devoted fan! Hehhehheh...
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Character You Most Want to Be
1 Cliffjumper
1 Duros (Nebulan partner to Hardhead)
1 Firestar (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
1 Grand Maximus (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
1 Inferno (Beast Wars)
1 Ironhide (original)
1 Jinrai (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
1 Marissa Fairborne (from the original cartoon series, third season)
1 Megatron (Beast Wars)
1 Mindwipe
1 Mirage
1 Motormaster
1 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
1 O (Buster's friend, from the first comic book series)
1 Omega Supreme
1 Onslaught
1 Optimus Primal
1 Overlord (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
1 Predaking (original Predacon combiner)
1 Primus (from the Transformers comic book series)
1 Punch/Counterpunch
1 Quig (Headmaster partner to Siren)
1 Ravage
1 Reflector
1 Repugnus
1 Shuta (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
1 Sixshot
1 Spike Witwicky
1 Swindle
1 Swoop
1 Tarantulas
1 Unicron
1 Victory Saber (Star Saber/Victory Leo combiner; from the Japanese
"Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Warpath
2 Airazor
2 Cheetor
2 Cyclonus
2 Dinobot
2 Grimlock
2 Kup
2 Megatron (original)
2 Prowl (original)
2 Rhinox
2 Shockwave
2 Skywarp
2 Springer
2 Starscream
3 Galvatron
3 Nightbeat
3 Rattrap
4 Jazz
4 Jetfire/Skyfire
4 Soundwave
9 Optimus Prime
12 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
Hot Rod (hey! He's the chosen one)
--Alvaro Carvajal
Okay. I'd have to be able to kick ass, not be _too_ much of an extreme
personality, and have a cool alt-mode with speed, power, and/or durability.
It'll have to be an Autobot since my personal philosophy doesn't mesh with
the Decepticons. There's only one choice... Jetfire.
--H. Jameel al Khafiz
Optimus prime - you would never have to worry about dying because you would
always be brought back to life later.
--griffin
Spike (Hell, he never had to go to school!)
--Lewis M. Brooks III
Starscream reminds me of Ric Flair, the wrestler. He is a champion who uses
tact, cunning, cheating, and submission moves/weapons to win.
--Matthew C. Swenson
[So you're saying we should get the WWF to referee the Cybertronian wars?]
Victory Saber - NOBODY messes with that guy.
--John Bartos
None of them. War is hell and it's unavoidable for a Transformer. I'd
rather be a safe, contented squishie. ;-)
--Charlotte Brogden
RATTRAP: Only THREE measly votes? I'm insulted!
WHEELJACK: That's three more than what I got.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Character You Most Want To Lobotomize With a Runaway Arc Welder
1 Bombshell
1 Bumblebee
1 Cancer (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
1 Cliffjumper
1 Cyclonus
1 Gears
1 Gregory (from "The Return of Optimus Prime")
1 Kup
1 Mindwipe
1 Octane
1 Optimus Primal
1 Pointblank
1 Repugnus
1 Rhinox
1 Runamuck
1 Scourge
1 Sky Lynx
1 Sludge
1 Spike Witwicky
1 Superion (Aerialbot combiner)
1 Terrorsaur
1 Walter Barnett (from the original comic book series)
1 Warpath
2 Cheetor
2 Donny Finkleberg/Robot Master (from the original comic book series)
2 Marissa Fairborne (from the original cartoon series, third season)
2 Megatron (Beast Wars)
2 Rattrap
2 Tarantulas
2 The Mechanic (from the original comic book series)
2 Tigatron
2 Ultra Magnus
2 Waspinator
3 Blurr
3 Grimlock
3 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
3 Optimus Prime
3 Perceptor
3 Silverbolt (original)
3 Starscream
4 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
5 Daniel Witwicky
7 Galvatron
29 Wheelie
Wheelie (So it begins.)
--Eric Lee Cline
Tarantulus, although I'm sure he'd devise a way to regrow most of his
brain...
--Jennifer C. Stevens
grimlock. me just hate him!
--Valerie Lim
Blurr! No, Daniel! No, Wheelie! No, Blurr! Daniel! Wheelie! Daniel!
Blurr! AHHHHHH!!!!
[seriously.... Starscream. You ain't never gonna lead nothin', dude, so
quitcherbellyachin'. :]
--Robert E. Powers
Daniel Witwicky. The things that kid says always makes me want to jump
through the TV and throttle him.
--Springer
Wheelie is probably too easy a target.
--Vulcana
[Not for a lot of people.]
[In the "too late" category:]
Galvatron. Then again, that probably wouldn't make much of a difference.
--Bobbi Carothers
[Beast Wars Megatron] - and I'd do it *very slowly*. Come to think of
it, performing a lobotomy on him, wouldn't make for a whole lot of
personality change, would it?
--Raksha
Sludge.. oh dear someone already did.....
--Sven K. Harvey
BW Scorponok. Maybe that'll give him a personality.
--Darzonique
[And from the "we're not choosy" crowd:]
Any Quintesson.
--Jonathan Carter
Any of the Junkions.
--Aaron
RATTRAP: Boy, that Wheelie really took a poundin'.
WHEELJACK: Better get used to it. If there's one character
everyone loves to hate, it's Wheelie.
RATTRAP: Yeah? What'd he do that was so terrible?
WHEELJACK: You don't KNOW?
RATTRAP: Not a clue. The Maximal Elders sealed up most of our
records on you guys. All we get are the squeaky-
clean summaries, and there wasn't anythin' there
about this Wheelie character.
WHEELJACK: Oh dear. Uh... Do we have a clip?
[The large projection screen lights up, showing Wheelie and Blurr flying a
shuttle--]
COMPUTER: Alert! Alert! Alert! Alert!
BLURR: Nowwhat?Beepbeepbeepalertalertalert,that'swhat.LikeI
don'thaveenoughfrustrationtomylifewithoutbeepbeepbee
palertalertalert.
WHEELIE: Your words infective, and your ship defective.
BLURR: Firstofall,it'snotmyship,andsecondofall,thechancesof
itbeingdefectiveareoneonthreetrillionsixhundredandse
venty-seven,andthat'safact.
WHEELIE: And the chances that Galvatron still lives?
BLURR: Less.Muchmuchmuchmuchless.
WHEELIE: Hmm, screen shows traces of vanished faces.
[Screen shuts off.]
RATTRAP: THAT'S Wheelie? The orange guy?
WHEELJACK: Uh huh. What do you think?
RATTRAP: No WONDER they sealed the records on him...
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Most Annoying Character
1 Browning (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
1 Cerebros
1 Chip (boy genius, from the original cartoon series)
1 Deceptitran (from "Sea Change")
1 Girl gagged with tape in "B.O.T."
1 Grimlock
1 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
1 Huffer
1 Kup
1 Perceptor
1 Ratbat
1 Rattrap
1 Ravage
1 Rumble
1 Shockwave
1 Silverbolt (Beast Wars/Fuzor)
1 Silverbolt (original)
1 Sky Lynx
1 Spike Witwicky
1 Tarantulas
1 The Mechanic (from the original comic book series)
1 Tracks
1 Waspinator
1 Wreck-Gar
2 Cheetor
2 Cyclonus
2 Optimus Prime
2 Prowl (original)
2 Rhinox
2 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
2 Terrorsaur
4 Blurr
4 Bumblebee
4 Galvatron
5 Starscream
8 Daniel Witwicky
47 Wheelie
I'll keep with true ATT tradition on this one: Wheelie :)
--Alvaro Carvajal
Wheelie. If you say his name three times, you summon him from that dark
place to which he was banished. Please do not say his name three times,
especially if you happen to be standing within a circle of candles.
--Lia Brown
Wheelie. Although, he's not as annoying in the Japanese episodes.
Probably because I can't understand him.
--Phil Zeman
I have to go with Daniel..2nd generation moron.
--Mischa E. Gelman
A poorly written one.
--Dinobot
Rodimus Prime ... Took me a minute to come up with anything other than
wheelie mind you ;-)
--Beast Warrior RatBat
Cartoon Wreck-Gar...NOT WHEELIE
--Deszarus
RATTRAP: Wheelie again.
WHEELJACK: Told you so.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Most Overexposed Character
1 Beachcomber
1 Blackarachnia
1 Blurr
1 Brawn
1 Jan (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Megatron (original)
1 Optimus Primal
1 Powerglide
1 Ratbat
1 Ratchet
1 Scourge
1 Soundwave
1 Spike Witwicky
1 Springer
1 Stranglehold
1 Tigatron
2 Daniel Witwicky
2 Kup
2 Tarantulas
2 Terrorsaur
3 Dinobot
3 Wheelie
4 Grimlock
4 Rattrap
4 Starscream
5 Cheetor
9 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
21 Bumblebee
31 Optimus Prime
Optimus Prime; he just couldn't seem to stop coming back
--Guyver1
Optimus Prime. Sorry, bud, but if there's ever a GENERATION 3 comic, stay
at home and deliver your lines over the phone.
--Urac 'Ratbat' Sigma
Bumblebee. I like him, but he got far too much airtime for a minibot.
--Dave Connell
Daniel Witwicky (movie and all post-movie eps, any time he's on screen even
the most terrible episode got worse)
--Jeff Cagni
Everyone except Nightbeat.
--David Willis
RATTRAP: Heh!
WHEELJACK: What's so funny?
RATTRAP: I love it! Everyone's all big on Optimus Prime, but
they're also tired of seein' him all over the place!
WHEELJACK: Well, you got a few votes of your own.
RATTRAP: As long as I ain't ahead of Cheetor, I don't mind.
WHEELJACK: You don't?
RATTRAP: Nah. Way I see it, there's always gonna be some
folks jealous of my natural good looks...
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Character Name
1 Airazor
1 Blot
1 Bludgeon
1 Bluestreak
1 Cliffjumper
1 Computron
1 Dirge
1 Dreadwing
1 Frenzy
1 Grand Maximus
1 Hellbat (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Inferno
1 Instigator (Beast Wars Fuzor; announced but not released in 1997)
1 Jazz
1 Jetfire
1 Joyride
1 Kickback
1 Monstructor
1 Nightbeat
1 Octopunch
1 Optimus Primal
1 Perceptor
1 Primus
1 Quintesson
1 Ramjet
1 Ravage
1 Retrax
1 Rodimus Prime
1 Sandstorm
1 Scorponok
1 Scourge
1 Scrapper
1 Silverbolt
1 Skullgrin
1 Slamdance
1 Smokescreen
1 Soundblaster
1 Springer
1 Thrust
1 Violenjiger
1 Vortex
1 Waspinator
1 Windrazor
2 Alpha Trion
2 Blurr
2 Deathsaurus
2 Devastator
2 Grimlock
2 Megatron
2 Mirage
2 Razorclaw
2 Shockwave
2 Skyfire
2 Spinister
3 Blackarachnia
3 Cyclonus
3 Galvatron
4 Fortress Maximus
4 Skywarp
4 Ultra Magnus
5 Omega Supreme
5 Quickstrike
5 Starscream
12 Optimus Prime
Ultra Magnus. You've just gotta love a name that translates into
"Really Big". Could have some amusing double entendres in potential TF
lemonfic. :)
--Robotech_Master
Blurr - Perfectly describes both his abilities and personality in one word.
--Dave Connell
Slamdance - the name is cool though it should go to a different character.
--Prowl152
Optimus Primal.. it's quite ingenious, how they turned Prime into Primal..
no one ever thought of that.
--ViperX
[Maybe there's a reason for that...]
RATTRAP: Now THIS time, I'm insulted! What's wrong with the
name "Rattrap"?
WHEELJACK: Well, it does sound a little ... suicidal.
RATTRAP: Whaddayamean, suicidal?
WHEELJACK: Well, you ARE a rat. And naming yourself after
something that catches rats is a little ... oh,
counterproductive.
RATTRAP: Yeah, I suppose. Sorta like if you named yourself
"Junkheap," eh?
WHEELJACK: Exactly.
RATTRAP: Or "Smashup."
WHEELJACK: Right.
RATTRAP: Howsabout "Rustbucket"?
WHEELJACK: All right already!
RATTRAP: Or maybe--
WHEELJACK: RATTRAP!
RATTRAP: Sheesh, some 'bots don't have a sense of humor.
------------------------------------------------------------
WHEELJACK: And speaking of unflattering names...
*** Worst Character Name
1 Banzai-Tron
1 Big Daddy
1 Birdbrain
1 Blackarachnia
1 Blast Off
1 Blot
1 Butt (Japanese Horrorcon)
1 Carnivac
1 Catilla
1 Chop Shop
1 Cliffjumper
1 Cosmos
1 Deszaras [spelling is intentional]
1 Eject
1 Galvatron
1 Gobots
1 Highbrow
1 Hosehead
1 Hot House
1 Hubcap
1 Inferno
1 Jackpot
1 K-9
1 Kup
1 Manterror
1 Megaplex
1 Needlenose
1 Oynx Primal (BotCon '96 exclusive)
1 Predaking
1 Primacron (from "Call of the Primitives")
1 Rhino (McDonalds Happy Meals Beast Wars toy)
1 Rippersnapper
1 Silverbolt
1 Sky Lynx
1 Slag
1 Sparkplug (Witwicky)
1 Sweeps
1 Tantrum
1 Tracks
1 Twin Twist
1 Unicron
1 Wolfang
1 Zap
2 Apeface
2 B'Boom
2 Chromedome
2 Fizzle
2 Goldbug
2 Hotspot
2 Terrorsaur
2 Waspinator
3 Bumblebee
3 Grotusque
3 Sludge
3 Spittor
3 Vroom
5 Dinobot
5 Wheelie
7 Optimus Primal
11 Cheetor
11 Windbreaker
Windbreaker. I didn't know that TF could pass gas (other then Rhinox,
that is)
--Matthew Hamilton
"Hey, I'm a cheetah! No... I'm Cheetor!" *shudder*
--Jennifer C. Stevens
Hotspot. I still can't forget the time on chat where one person kept saying
he was touching his hotspot all the time. (The TF)
--Dalmatian
Optimus Primal - I've got to agree with Joseph Brogan from last year's
TRANNIES (tm). How many of us, when we first saw the Beast Wars Twin Pack
saw that name, and VERBALLY said "You've GOT to be KIDDING!?" If it didn't
cause people to look at you strange, then they were probably looking at the
same pack that you were, saying the same thing!
--ArkNorth
Spittor -- And everyone complains about properly gelled phlegm loogies from
me. /;v]
--Hex
Cliffjumper. The name alone suggest suicidal tendencies. I mean, is he
famous for jumping off cliffs or something?
--Springer
[Nah, that's Lemming. B-]
Needlenose - an ultra cool fashion designer character shouldn't have such a
dorky name.
--Charlotte Brogden
RATTRAP: HAH! I am gonna have FUN with this!
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The Bionic Badass Award, for the most intimidating Transformers
character
1 Abominus (Terrorcons combiner)
1 Bludgeon
1 Brawn
1 Dreadwing/Smokescreen (Generation 2 Advanced Tactical Bomber)
1 Hardhead
1 Huffer
1 Liokaiser (Breastforce combiner; from the Japanese "Transformers:
Victory" series)
1 Lord Jhiaxus (from the Transformers: Generation 2 comic book series)
1 Megatron (Beast Wars/Transmetal)
1 Megatron (Generation 2 tank)
1 Metroplex
1 Razorclaw (original)
1 Skywarp
1 Victory Leo (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Wheelie
2 Optimus Prime (original)
2 Sixshot
2 Starscream
2 Tripredacus
2 Trypticon
2 Victory Saber (Star Saber/Victory Leo combiner; from the Japanese
"Transformers: Victory" series)
3 Fortress Maximus
3 Shockwave
3 Soundwave
4 Devastator (Constructicon combiner)
4 Dinobot
4 Grimlock
4 Megatron (Beast Wars/T-Rex)
4 Omega Supreme
4 Scorponok (original)
5 Predaking (original Predacon combiner)
8 Rhinox
9 Megatron (original)
15 Inferno (Beast Wars)
16 Galvatron
Galvatron (DO NOT mess with this guy!)
--Sven K. Harvey
All right, I pick the Mighty Inferno. Possessor of the flamethrower, THE
maniacal laugh, and personal friend of pain. He got his head blown off and
_put it back on, himself_. Badassedness personified.
--Jordan Beasley
Rhinox BW, and the chaingun of doom:))
--Mike Laird
Trypticon. A big purple Dinosaur...hmm...maybe he's not so intimidating..
--Rattrap
Of many characters on the Mighty List, there is one who is intimidation
personified. It is the terse one, mighty Omega Supreme.
--H. Jameel al Khafiz
G1 Scorponok. I mean, having a scorpion crawl up your back is bad enough,
but when the said scorpion is 12 metres long...
--Joona I. Palaste
RATTRAP: *GALVATRON* won?
WHEELJACK: Just barely.
RATTRAP: That's too weird. I was expectin' one of the bigger
guys to get this one.
WHEELJACK: Yeah, they didn't do so well here. Even Predaking
got beaten by a wide margin.
RATTRAP: But GALVATRON? That's crazy!
WHEELJACK: Hmmm. Maybe it's something about insane characters
-- neither Galvatron nor Inferno are reknown for
level-headed intelligence.
RATTRAP: So what you're sayin' is that fans like psychos?
WHEELJACK: (shrugs) It certainly looks that way.
RATTRAP: Man, and I thought I'd seen it all.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The Sagely Speaker Award, for the most quotable character
1 Blackarachnia
1 Death's Head (from the Marvel UK comic book series)
1 Huffer
1 Inferno (Beast Wars)
1 Jazz
1 Omega Supreme
1 Optimus Primal
1 Perceptor
1 Rhinox
1 Silverbolt (Beast Wars)
1 Sky Lynx
1 Soundwave
1 Swindle
1 Thunderwing
1 Wreck-Gar
2 Galvatron
2 Grimlock
2 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
2 Ironhide (original)
2 Kup
2 Megatron (Beast Wars)
2 Nightbeat
3 Dinobot
3 Rumble
3 Springer
3 Tigatron
3 Unicron
4 Brawn
5 Starscream
6 Waspinator
7 Megatron (original)
21 Rattrap
22 Optimus Prime
Rattrap. (Of course, part of this is the fact that he simply never shuts
up...)
--Stormcloud
BW Megatron... sure, Rattrap is generally funnier, but Megs comes up with
some real nuggets of joy.
--M Sipher
Grimlock, he be great speaker.
--Iggy Drougge
Tom Servo!
--Dinobot
Galvatron. OK, so he wasn't very sage, but he said a lot of cool insane
stuff.
--Lillith S. Rael
Swindle (Were you expecting me to say OP? Swindle's quotes are like battle
cries for our Generation. ;) ).
--Suzanne M. Ferree
RATTRAP: "Never shuts up"? NEVER SHUTS UP?! Alright,
Stormcloud, where are ya? I'm gonna shut YOU up,
buddy!
WHEELJACK: (restraining Rattrap) That's all from us, folks!
Goodnight!
RATTRAP: Lemme go! I think I see him over th--
[Cut to commercials]
===========================================================================
PART IIa: TRANSFORMERS TOYS
[A thundering BOOM shakes the ampitheater. The audience looks up to see
two flying craft -- a silver, gold, and green FUTURISTIC JET, and an orange
triangular WEDGE with a white tip.
The ships circle wide around the coliseum, then dive for the stage.
Seconds before impact, they TRANSFORM into robots and land with military
precision in the center.]
LORD JHIAXUS: Welcome. We are here tonight to present the awards
for the toy-based ... "Trannies." I am Lord Jhiaxus,
Leige Centuro of the Decepticon Elite.
MINION: And I am Minion, representing the hordes of
background Decepticons from the animated series.
LORD JHIAXUS: Ah, yes. Megatron's army of the nameless. I am
disappointed that he could not conquer the Autobots,
even with your vast numbers supporting him.
MINION: Oh, it's not his fault -- as background characters,
we're not allowed to hit anyone. If an Autobot is
going to get shot, one of the stars has to do it.
LORD JHIAXUS: Sounds like a miserable life, Minion.
MINION: Oh, it is. That's why there's never been a toy made
of any of us -- who's going to buy a figure for a
character who barely shows up on-screen and does
nothing important?
LORD JHIAXUS: What about the Star Wars line? They have LOTS of
toys for random background characters.
MINION: Yeah, I know. It's just not fair... (sighs)
*** Best Toy of the Year
1 Bonecrusher
1 Cheetor (Transmetal)
1 K-9
1 Megaplex
1 Packrat (BotCon '97 exclusive)
1 Retrax
1 Sandstorm (Machine Wars)
1 Snarl (Beast Wars)
1 Transquito
2 Cybershark
2 Manterror
2 Mirage (Machine Wars)
2 Optimus Prime (Machine Wars)
2 Quickstrike
2 Skywarp (Machine Wars)
2 Starscream (Machine Wars)
3 B'Boom
3 Razorclaw (Beast Wars)
4 Airazor
6 Optimus Primal (Transmetal)
7 Inferno (Beast Wars)
9 Tripredacus
12 Megatron (Beast Wars/Transmetal)
21 Magnaboss
Magnaboss. He's such a beefcake he can't fit on the show.
--H. Jameel al Khafiz
Transmetals Megatron. He *looks* mean enough to take on all the Maximals by
himself!
--Carrie R. Brown
Tripredacus. This from someone who has yet to actually see one out of
package, but the transformations look AMAZINGLY complex.
--Robert E. Powers
Manterror. ... A wonderful use of translucent plastic, plus those awesome
sickle-like arms. I hate not voting for Inferno, but Manterror is just too
cool. Transquito can only wish he'd be as cool as Manterror!
--Suzanne M. Ferree
MW Mirage. If they're going to re-use the old names, *this* is how it
should be done.
--Raksha
MINION: A nice showing by Magnaboss there.
LORD JHIAXUS: True; I must admit, he is an impressive toy. Though
it IS worth remembering that the next three runner-up
spots are occupied by the "loyal opposition."
MINION: Yep -- the Maximals might be on top now, but our guys
aren't going to give up that easily!
LORD JHIAXUS: I admire your spirit, Minion, even if I'm dubious
about being associated with the Predacons...
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Toy Ever
1 Beachcomber
1 Doubledealer
1 Grand Maximus (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
1 Hot Rod
1 Hound
1 Huffer
1 Magnaboss
1 Omega Supreme
1 Onslaught
1 Quickswitch
1 Ravage
1 Rodimus Prime
1 Rotorstorm
1 Sandstorm (original)
1 Scorponok (original)
1 Shockwave (original)
1 Siren
1 Springer
1 Star Saber (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Strafe (Cyberjet)
1 Sunstreaker
1 Superion (Aerialbots combiner)
1 Victory Saber (Star Saber/Victory Leo combiner; from the Japanese
"Transformers: Victory" series)
2 Grimlock (original)
2 Inferno (Beast Wars)
2 Optimus Prime (Powermaster)
2 Predaking (original Predacon combiner)
2 Trypticon
2 Ultra Magnus
3 Dreadwing/Smokescreen (Generation 2 Advanced Tactical Bomber)
3 Megatron (Beast Wars/T-Rex)
3 Megatron (Generation 2 tank)
3 Megatron (original)
3 Optimus Primal (gorilla)
3 Optimus Prime (original)
3 Skywarp (original)
4 Sixshot
4 Soundwave (original)
13 Fortress Maximus
13 Optimus Prime (Laser Rod)
18 Jetfire (original)
Jetfire. Everything a Transformer should be: detailed, articulated, large,
weighty, intimidating, with _cool_ accessories that aren't too easy to lose
and a neato weapon. If only they made the seekers like that...
--Jordan Beasley
[Megatron:] G1 gun. It was fun to pretend like I shot the Autobots.
--TFGRiMLoCK
Laser Optimus Prime; big, posable, light up, beautiful in both modes, AND
he actually looks like Prime.
--Beast Warrior RatBat
Fort max, he's Big
--Graeme MacDonald
[Which suggests that if Hasbro/Kenner/Takara ever releases a six-foot-tall
transforming toy robot, it'll automatically be the best toy ever. B-]
Soundwave. It had a secret battery compartment and everything!
--Dan McCollum
Optimus Primal, for the sheer number of gadgets on him plus the various
"robotic" parts on him. Don't care much for the swords, but the mace makes
a fun cat toy.
--Stanley Lui
Ravage. Small enough to take with you, cool enough to kick *#& anywhere he
goes. Recogniseable enough that everyone who sees you playing with him,
even now, goes, 'cool! I had him!'
--Lillith S. Rael
MINION: Ouch.
LORD JHIAXUS: I am disappointed, but not entirely surprised.
MINION: No?
LORD JHIAXUS: Not at all. As the human Graeme MacDonald points
out, Fortress Maximus is popular based on his size
alone. All of the front-runners are large toys, are
they not?
MINION: That's true, though there are some large Decepticon
toys as well--
LORD JHIAXUS: --which have been handicapped with fewer features and
less appeal. Compare Shockwave and Jetfire, for
example. Shockwave has flashing lights and sounds,
but Jetfire gets snap-on armor, a rugged metal build,
and more articulation.
MINION: Are you suggesting there's a conspiracy involved?
LORD JHIAXUS: I am SUGGESTING nothing. I do find it odd, however,
that no one has ever made a toy based on *ME*.
MINION: True; and you ARE an impressive character.
LORD JHIAXUS: Indeed.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Toy Tech-Spec
1 Apeface
1 Backstreet
1 Bluestreak
1 Colossus
1 Countdown
1 Doubledealer
1 Galvatron
1 Grimlock (Beast Wars)
1 Grimlock (original)
1 Hound
1 Hubcap (original)
1 Huffer
1 Ironhide (original)
1 Metroplex
1 Mindwipe
1 Motormaster
1 Nightracer (BotCon '95 exclusive)
1 Omega Supreme
1 Onyx Primal (BotCon '96 exclusive)
1 Optimus Primal (gorilla)
1 Optimus Prime (Powermaster)
1 Rewind
1 Rumble
1 Shockwave
1 Sideswipe
1 Sideswipe (Action Master)
1 Sinnertwin
1 Sixshot
1 Skywarp (original)
1 Springer
1 Squawktalk
1 Swerve
1 Tailgate
1 Trailbreaker
1 Wildfly
2 Bumblebee (original)
2 Cyclonus
2 Fortress Maximus
2 Jetfire (original)
2 Mirage (original)
2 Needlenose
2 Optimus Prime (Laser Rod)
2 Transquito
3 Airazor
3 Jazz
3 Nightbeat
3 Soundwave (original)
6 Megatron (original)
9 Optimus Prime (original)
Backstreet. There's something sort of chilling and disconcerting about a
character who will stalk his prey until he literally runs out of fuel.
Especially when that character is a "good guy."
--Jordan Beasley
LORD JHIAXUS: Nnnnng. Another Autobot victory, and by Optimus
Prime, no less.
MINION: Well, he IS the most infamous Autobot leader, so
this isn't surprising.
LORD JHIAXUS: But it isn't even an accurate description, Minion.
Optimus Prime is certainly not the largest nor the
strongest of the Autobots. As for wisdom -- I'm of
the mind that ALL Autobots are rather foolish, for
their absurd support of lesser beings...
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Toy Tech-Spec Quote
1 Air Raid: "If you look first, you may not leap."
1 Bonecrusher (original): "Hit it till it stands no taller than dust."
1 Brawn: "Might over microchips."
1 Clench/Colossus (European Decepticon Obliterator leader): "I will not
rest until the last Autobot is crushed to nothing and Decepticons
rule."
1 Dead End: "We are all just food for rust."
1 Dreadwing (Generation 2 Advanced Tactical Bomber): "When you least
expect it, expect me!"
1 Fastlane: "Either you're out of my way or out of luck."
1 Fortress Maximus: "Prepare for war, but strive for peace."
1 Gears: "Nobody Wins a war -- somebody loses."
1 Grimlock: "Among the winners, there is no room for the weak."
1 Groove: "War is a problem, never a solution."
1 Hot Rod: "My actions speak louder than words."
1 Huffer: "Molecular structure is the key to success."
1 Laserbeak: "The only point I like in Autobots: melting point."
1 Metroplex: "Vigilance is the foundation on which victories are built."
1 Mirage (original): "Who and what I am I hide from the enemy."
1 Rodimus Prime: "Experience is the benchmark of maturity."
1 Scavenger: "Everything is worth something, even me."
1 Scorponok (original): "Kindness is no virtue... and cruelty is no
vice."
1 Scrapper: "My work is a monument to -- and of -- my enemies."
1 Skram: "Hey, loosen up, guys! Saving the universe can't be that big of
a deal!"
1 Sky Lynx: "The best achievements are worth repeating."
1 Skyhammer: "There is no disgrace in not succeeding, only in not
trying."
1 Skywarp: "Strike when the enemy isn't looking."
1 Soundwave: "Cries and screams are music to my ears."
1 Space Case: "My mind may be slow, but I move like greased lightning!"
1 Stalker: "Hate 'til it hurts, then hate some more."
1 Starscream: "Conquest is made of the ashes of one's enemies."
1 Streetwise: "You have to know where you are before you know what to
do."
1 Sunstreaker: "They can't beat the best."
1 Swoop: "Fear can hit targets unreachable to bullets."
1 Tailgate: "Let my fellow mechanical beings go!"
1 Ultra Magnus: "Consistancy [sic] is victory."
1 Wreck-Gar: "Collect and save, collect and save."
2 Bumblebee: "The least likely can be the most dangerous."
2 Cosmos: "Reach for the stars, but never leave your friends."
2 Oynx Primal (BotCon '96 exclusive): "...and I will strike down with
great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison
and destroy my brothers, and you will know my name is Oynx when I
lay my vengeance apon [sic] thee."
2 Quake: "Nothing lasts forever -- so why not destroy it now?"
2 Razorclaw (original): "All good things succumb to those who wait."
2 Springer: "Strength is more than physical."
3 Jazz: "Do it with style, or don't bother doing it."
4 Soundwave: "Cries and screams are music to my ears."
6 Shockwave: "Clarity of thought before rashness of action."
9 Megatron (original): "Peace through tyranny."
9 Sideswipe: "I don't break the rules. I bend them -- a lot."
12 Optimus Prime: "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings."
Optimus's, something about life being the right of all sentient beings
--Merkutio
"Peace through tyranny " -- An interesting concept if taken in the ancient
greek context of tyranny.
--Hex
"No descansare hasta que haya exterminado hasta el ultimo Autobot y los
Decepticons dominen." - Colossus's Spanish quote. Hey, that falls under
the guidelines, doesn't it? :)
--John Bartos
[Sure! I'll just translate it to English, and viola! B-]
"I don't break the rules. I bend them -a lot" (Sideswipe, and then me)
--Marijose Diaz
[Megatron:] "Everything is fodder" ... I distinctly remember it from his G1
specs. Maybe we in NZ had it different.
--Sandblaster
Shocky's "Clarity of thought before rashness of action". Nifty....
--Lia Brown
LORD JHIAXUS: Feh. Optimus Prime again. Though Sideswipe's quote
is refreshingly subversive for an Aut-- eh? Minion?
MINION: Yes, sir?
LORD JHIAXUS: Weren't you orange earlier?
MINION: Uh huh.
LORD JHIAXUS: But now you're ... green.
MINION: (nods) Yeah. Since I'm just a background character,
I don't have a fixed appearance or personality, so my
colors change at random intervals.
LORD JHIAXUS: Hrmph. So will you be changing personalities at
random as well?
MINION: Luckily, no. Robert tried writing me that way, but
it proved too difficult.
LORD JHIAXUS: Good thing, else I might have been irritated -- and
he would REALLY regret it then...
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Toy Gimmick
1 Autorollers
1 Auto-transformations
1 Cyberjets
1 Firecons
1 Fuzors
1 Inferno's (Beast Wars) rotating abdomen
1 Laser Rods/Laser Cycles/Illuminators
1 Lightformer/Trakkon cannons
1 Megatron (Generation 2 tank) gimmick assortment
1 Micromaster Bases
1 Powermasters
1 Rotor Force
1 Triggercons
1 Water shooters
2 Action Masters
2 Brainmasters (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
2 Breastforce (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
2 Lights and sounds
2 Mega Pretenders
2 Micromasters
2 Rub signs
3 Lots of articulation/poseability
3 Six-changers
4 Glowing eyes
4 Pretenders
5 Hidden/Integrated/Assembled weaponry
5 Transmetals
5 Triple Changers
7 Targetmasters
12 Headmasters
27 Combiners/Gestalts
Fusilateral combiners (Gestalts?)
--Sven K. Harvey
Gotta love it, 6 robots for the price of 5, or 7 for the price of 6, or 4
for the price of...ummm... 1. Yeah. You get the idea :>
--Velociripper
The Rotor Force blades. The agonizing wind-up seems worthwhile when that
stupid little propellor goes whirring across the room. Whee!
--Robert E. Powers
Multiple flexible joints, starting with the Cyberjets -This isn't truly a
gimmick, considering that it wasn't played up and has carried over to most
TF toys now, but after years of Transformers that were almost immobile in
robot mode (and looked far less exciting than the drawn characters), it was
quite nice.
--Keith Palmer
The hidden/integrated weaponry of the BW toys. It's nice not to have a
bunch of random bits floating around in alternate mode...
--M Sipher
Breastforce guys.....those little animals on their chests (good thing none
of them are female!) are soooooo cute! Plus they're thrifty in that they
also become a weapon!
--Lia Brown
LORD JHIAXUS: Combiners. An antiquated technology, though still
effective.
MINION: You don't use gestalts?
LORD JHIAXUS: We have no need to. While millions of years were
wasted in endless war on Cybertron, the Decepticon
Elite has been out colonizing the universe and
improving ourselves. Our innate superiority is
itself enough to crush any opposition we encounter,
even without the might of combiners.
MINION: Sounds great. Um, I don't suppose you have any
openings for a color-changing 'con like me?
LORD JHIAXUS: You jest, Minion -- a warrior who cannot fight
effectively is of no use to us.
MINION: Yeah, well, it didn't hurt to ask... (sigh)
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Toy Box Art
1 Apeface
1 Black Zarak (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" Series)
1 Bludgeon
1 Brainstorm
1 Bugly
1 Cyclonus
1 Dinobot
1 Doubledealer
1 Dreadwing (G2 Advanced Tactical Bomber)
1 Galvatron
1 Hook
1 Hound
1 Huffer
1 Inferno (Beast Wars)
1 Inferno (original)
1 Jazz
1 Jetfire (Cyberjet)
1 Liokaiser (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Megatron (original)
1 Misfire
1 Nightbeat
1 Optimus Primal (gorilla)
1 Packrat (BotCon '97 exclusive)
1 Piranacon
1 Powerpinch
1 Punch/Counterpunch
1 Rapido (European version)
1 Rattrap
1 Shockwave
1 Siren
1 Sixshot
1 Smokescreen (original)
1 Spittor
1 Springer
1 Star Convoy (from the Japanese "Return of Convoy/Battlestars" series)
1 Star Saber (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Topspin (corrected box art)
1 Trypticon
1 Ultra Magnus
1 Waspinator
1 Wheeljack
2 Hot Rod
2 Megatron (Beast Wars/T-Rex)
2 Optimus Primal (Transmetal)
2 Optimus Prime (Machine Wars)
2 Overlord
2 Prowl (original)
2 Sky Lynx
3 Skywarp
4 Jetfire (original)
4 Magnaboss
5 Fortress Maximus
8 Soundwave (original)
10 Optimus Prime (Powermaster)
Powermaster OP. Now THAT is intimidating!
--Stormcloud
[Soundwave:] The machine wars one rulz!!!! (Just kiding, the old G1 had the
best Box art:))
--Doug Kern
Most attractive? Now you're talking Arcee model kits...
--HighRoad
[You're assuming everyone finds "Slutcee" attractive.]
Topspin (the REAL picture of Topspin)
--Jonathan Carter
Star Saber's. Why doesn't American box art look that good?
--John Bartos
I love the regular BW Megatron T-rex art.. (Oy! All that description just
to identify which one I'm talking about!) :)
--Velociripper
[Hey, I'm not the one who gives the same name to a dozen different toys...]
Siren, he's got that "Come to Butt-Head" thing going...
--EmarZero
LORD JHIAXUS: Optimus Prime AGAIN! Are the voters so addle-minded
that they must always select the same hero for their
awards?
MINION: Well, these ARE humans.
LORD JHIAXUS: BAH!
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Toy of the Year
1 Cheetor (Transmetal)
1 Cicadon
1 Hoist/Hubcap (Machine Wars)
1 Ironhide (Beast Wars, part of Magnaboss)
1 Packrat (BotCon '97 exclusive)
1 Powerpinch
1 Ramhorn (Beast Wars, part of Tripredacus)
1 Silverbolt (Beast Wars, part of Magnaboss)
1 Tripredacus
2 Bonecrusher (Beast Wars)
2 Grimlock (Beast Wars)
2 Inferno (Beast Wars)
2 Lazorbeak (Beast Wars)
2 Magnaboss
2 Manterror
2 Optimus Primal (Beast Wars/Transmetal)
2 Soundwave (Machine Wars)
2 Spittor
2 Starscream (Machine Wars)
3 Megatron (Machine Wars)
3 Optimus Prime (Machine Wars)
3 Prowl (Machine Wars)
4 Snarl (Beast Wars)
6 Claw Jaw
11 Retrax
17 Drill Bit
Drill Bit, the "Plan 9 from Outer Space" of Beast Wars.
--Grand Nagus
Claw Jaw. (while Drill Bit was a close 2nd, but he at least has an okay
looking robot mode and a neat-o drill weapon.) Claw Jaw had neither. An
array of suction cups for a face, a _Squid_ for a beast mode, and a pair of
'tongs' for a weapon. I still bought two though. >:-.
--Hex
Snarl (He looks like he's wearing shoeboxes on his feet)
--Picard42
Retrax. (And to think that I actually bought him)
--Alvaro Carvajal
Retrax, though I like him.
--Eric Lee Cline
[Alvaro, meet Eric. Eric, meet Alvaro.]
Machine Wars Optimus Prime - Not that the toy inside has anything wrong
with it (being a reissue and all, again with disabled weapons), but the
box-art flat out LIES. They may have placed Optimus' head on the drawing,
but that SURE ISN'T HIS HEAD ON THE FIGURE!
--ArkNorth
Bonecrusher ... no, Drill Bit ... no, Bonecrusher ... no, Drill Bit ... no,
dammit, I spent MORE on Bonecrusher! It's Bonecrusher.
--Liquid Velcro
MINION: I can't think of anything to say here that the voters
haven't already said themselves.
LORD JHIAXUS: Nor can I. Let us continue.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Toy Ever
1 Armordillo
1 Blast-Off (original)
1 Blot
1 Blurr
1 Bonecrusher (Beast Wars)
1 Devastator (original)
1 Dinobot
1 Fortress Maximus
1 Grandus (from the Japanese "Return of Convoy/Battlestars" series)
1 Grimlock (Beast Wars)
1 Grimlock (Pretender)
1 Guzzle
1 Hoist (original)
1 Huffer
1 Kup
1 Manterror
1 Megatron (Action Master)
1 Metroplex
1 Mixmaster
1 Moonrock
1 Nightbeat
1 Optimus Primal (bat)
1 Optimus Prime (Powermaster)
1 Panther (McDonalds Happy Meal Beast Wars toy)
1 Prowl (Machine Wars)
1 Quickswitch
1 Rattrap
1 Rodimus Prime
1 Scourge
1 Sixshot
1 Soundwave (Machine Wars)
1 Speedstream (European Aquaspeeder)
1 Starscream
2 Brawn
2 Broadside
2 Bumblebee (original)
2 Devastator (Action Master)
2 Megatron (original)
2 Rhino (McDonalds Happy Meal Beast Wars toy)
2 Rollbar
2 Sparkstalker
2 Throttlebots (no specific one named)
2 Wideload
3 Flamefeather
3 Optimus Primal (gorilla)
3 Soundwave (Go-Bot)
3 Topspin/Twin Twist
4 Drill Bit
4 Ironhide/Ratchet
4 Runamuck/Runabout
5 Bulletbike
6 Goldbug
10 Wheelie
Wheelie. Nothing personal towards the character, I just think its a really
ugly toy.
--Bitstream
Goldbug. This is supposed to be an improved form for Bumblebee - a
_Throttlebot_?
--Dave Connell
Machine Wars Soundwave-what is he supposed to do with those arms anyway,
flap air at his opponent untill they get a chill? This is the only TF toy
I have ever returned for a full refund.
--Particle Man
Ratchet (Ironhide too, but his personality boosts him over Ratchet)
--Jeff Cagni
Grandus -- The Box that.... just sits there....
--Phil Zeman
[Proof that Japanese Transformers toy are not always cooler than the
domestic stuff.]
Rollbar--- figures I'd win one at a BotCon contest.
--The Nixtr
Fortress Maximus to much hype for a pretty boring looking robot which for
the price should've been much better.
--Guyver1
LORD JHIAXUS: Wheelie -- the most annoying, most despised
Transformer of all!
MINION: Oh, you looked at the earlier awards.
LORD JHIAXUS: If he were here right now, I would crush his head
with my bare hands, then burn the body beyond
recognition and drop it into a black hole!
MINION: You and a lot of other people, I'll bet.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Toy Gimmick
1 Brainmasters (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Bright/Neon colors
1 Cyberjets' springless missile launchers
1 Duocons
1 Junior Headmasters (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce"
series)
1 Snarl's (Beast Wars) launching tail
2 Fuzors
2 Go-Bots
2 Headmasters
2 Mutant heads (Beast Wars)
3 Color Changers/Aquaspeeders
3 Firecons
3 Jumpstarters
3 Powermasters (original)
3 Targetmasters
5 Battlechargers
5 Micromasters
5 Throttlebots
11 Auto-transformations
17 Action Masters
25 Pretenders
Pretenders (chunky-looking human opens to reveal stick figure robot that
"transforms" into something vaguely resembling a vehicle. Sure sign that
the end was near for G1.)
--Jeff Cagni
Pretenders - how about worst toy gimmick out of all toys? how in the world
can a Transformer pass off as a gigantic human?
--Prowl152
[The Japanese "Masterforce" series had a cool answer, but that doesn't
absolve the fact that the toys still stunk.]
Action Masters, what else?
--Ian Pointer
Throttlebots (I mean COME ON! Battlechargers WITHOUT the already-
unconvincing auto-transforming action)
--Beast Warrior RatBat
Micromasters. Too damn small.
--Rattrap
[I *thought* that was the idea...]
LORD JHIAXUS: Gigantic humans?
MINION: Indeed.
LORD JHIAXUS: And this was meant to be a DISGUISE?
MINION: Yes, Lord Jhiaxus.
LORD JHIAXUS: This MUST be an idea conceived by the humans
themselves. Are they arrogant, or merely stupid?
MINION: Does it matter?
LORD JHIAXUS: ...Not really.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Most Complicated Toy
1 Deluge
1 Grand Maximus
1 Hook
1 Huffer
1 Hurricane (European Turbomaster)
1 Metroplex
1 Ultra Magnus
2 Inferno (Beast Wars)
2 Jazz (original)
2 Megatron (original)
4 Dreadwing/Smokescreen (Generation 2 Advanced Tactical Bomber; sold as
Ace Evader in parts of Europe)
4 Quickswitch
4 Ram Horn (Beast Wars, part of Tripredacus)
5 Fortress Maximus
5 Omega Supreme
6 Jetfire (original)
6 Megatron (Beast Wars/T-Rex)
7 Sixshot
20 Magnaboss
25 Tripredacus
Tripredacus took me 45 minutes to get _two_ of the three components
combined.
--H. Jameel al Khafiz
I'd have to give it to Magnaboss for the actual hardest. ... But Tripred'
has that unfortunate Opus problem (Having one's butt fall off in public)...
--ArkNorth
Ultra Magnus. Gave me ulcers just *thinking* about transforming him....
--Springer
Beast Wars Megatron. I've haven't seen a torso move in so many directions
outside of a Jane Fonda workout video.
--David Willis
Megatron -BW T-Rex Predacon (I still can't get mine to go back into T-Rex
mode!)
--Dark Angel
[Maybe you can ask David for help?]
G1 Hook's legs. Just his legs. Do you KNOW how many Hooks I tore up until I
realized how he worked?
--EmarZero
Quickswitch. It wasn't that he was hard to Transform, it was that his
transformation modes were so screwed up looking, you couldn't tell what you
were transforming him into in the first place. :)
--Dalmatian
MINION: We did better this time.
LORD JHIAXUS: Yes, though I am uncertain if this is an award worth
winning or not.
MINION: It can't be that bad. The fans must like complicated
transformations; otherwise, the auto-transforming
toys and the Action Masters would have been more
popular.
LORD JHIAXUS: True. A victory, then, for the Decepticons. Oh,
and Minion...?
MINION: Yes?
LORD JHIAXUS: Mauve is NOT your color.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The Earth Day Award, for the best reuse of an existing character's name
1 Bonecrusher (Beast Wars)
1 Dreadwing (G2 Advanced Tactical Bomber)
1 Megatron (Beast Wars/Transmetal)
1 Megatron (Combat Hero)
1 Megatron (Machine Wars)
1 Optimus Prime (Go-Bot)
1 Prowl (Beast Wars, part of Magnaboss)
1 Shockwave (Action Master)
1 Sideswipe (Action Master)
1 Starscream (Pretender)
1 Strafe (Cyberjet)
2 Optimus Primal (Beast Wars/gorilla)
2 Optimus Prime (Machine Wars)
2 Sandstorm (Machine Wars)
2 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
2 Snarl (Beast Wars)
2 Starscream (Machine Wars)
4 Megatron (Beast Wars/T-Rex)
4 Mirage (Machine Wars)
4 Optimus Prime (Powermaster)
5 Grimlock (Beast Wars)
5 Ironhide (Beast Wars, part of Magnaboss)
5 Silverbolt (Beast Wars/Fuzor)
7 Megatron (Generation 2 tank)
9 Optimus Prime (Laser Rod)
31 Inferno (Beast Wars)
Inferno. The Autobot only really earned the name by being a firefighter.
The Predacon REALLY earned the name by being hell on legs.
--M Sipher
Laser Optimus Prime, of course. This IS Optimus Prime, in all his
Optimusensce and Primitude.
--Liquid Velcro
Green Giant Megatron--he can't move, but he's a beeeeeautiful toy.
--HighRoad
Powermaster Optimus Prime. Radiated Badass like a scent....
--Springer
LORD JHIAXUS: Ah, Inferno. Not the brightest warrior around, but
still, a respectable member of the rank and file. A
soldier who possesses the two most important
attributes -- courage and skill -- in abundance.
MINION: What about his habit of calling Megatron "queen"?
LORD JHIAXUS: As long as he does not address ME in that manner, I
will not object.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The Grave-Spinning Award, for worst reuse of an existing character's
name
1 Bonecrusher (Beast Wars)
1 Grimlock (Pretender)
1 Hubcap (Machine Wars)
1 Iguanus (Beast Wars)
1 Inferno (Beast Wars)
1 Ironhide (Power Master)
1 Megatron (Beast Wars/alligator)
1 Optimus Primal (bat)
1 Optimus Primal (Transmetal)
1 Optimus Prime (Action Master)
1 Optimus Prime (Laser Rod)
1 Skywarp (Machine Wars)
2 Ironhide (Beast Wars, member of Magnaboss)
2 Jetfire (Cyberjet)
2 Jetstorm (Beast Wars)
2 Optimus Primal (gorilla)
2 Optimus Prime (Machine Wars)
2 Prowl (Beast Wars; part of Magnaboss)
2 Prowl (Machine Wars)
2 Ramhorn (Beast Wars, part of Tripredacus)
2 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
2 Silverbolt (Beast Wars/Part of Magnaboss)
3 Lazorbeak (Beast Wars)
3 Optimus Prime (Go-Bot)
3 Silverbolt (Beast Wars/Fuzor)
3 Snarl (Beast Wars)
4 Megatron (Go-Bot)
4 Starscream (Machine Wars)
6 Grimlock (Beast Wars)
8 Megatron (Beast Wars/T-Rex)
8 Megatron (Machine Wars)
8 Soundwave (Machine Wars)
12 Soundwave (Go-Bot)
Gobot Soundwave (insert vomit here)
--Picard42
The original Soundwave's name being used for taht hunk of junk they call MW
Soundwave. Makes me wanna vomit all over aisle 7.
--Ari X
[Can someone get a mop, please?]
Beast Wars Snarl - A dinobot name given to a rabid 'rodent', what an
insult.
--griffin
The question category sucks. You should change it to a pre-existing
Transformer name, given that many of the worst reuses, that have people so
up in arms, are _not_ just reuses of individual character names. Dinobot,
Insecticon, Predacon, etc.
--Robotech_Master
[Hey, if YOU want to run next year's show, write me. B-]
Without a doubt: "Silverbolt" for BOTH a part of Magnaboss AND a Fuzor.
Sheesh, even G1 wasn't this bad with names...
--Joona I. Palaste
scorponok BW pales in comparison to its G1 city incarnation!
--Mike Laird
While I have a favorable opinion of the toy itself, MW Megatron should not
be a jet.
--John Thorpe
[Not a *dinky* one, at least.]
LORD JHIAXUS: What's this "vomit" thing that humans do?
MINION: A disgusting habit, sir -- they spontaneous eject
their most recent meals.
LORD JHIAXUS: What? Sounds like a waste of perfectly good energon.
MINION: Something like that, yes.
LORD JHIAXUS: Madness. I will NEVER understand why the Autobots
value such creatures...
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The Encore Award, for the Transformers toy you most want to see
re-released
1 Apeface
1 Blaster
1 Cheetor
1 Cindersaur
1 Computron (Technobot combiner)
1 Devastator (Constructicon combiner)
1 Dreadwing (G2 Advanced Tactical Bomber)
1 Grand Maximus
1 Grimlock
1 Huffer
1 Jazz
1 Liokaiser (Breastforce combiner; from the Japanese "Transformers:
Victory" series)
1 Long Haul
1 Megatron (Generation 2 tank)
1 Minerva (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce" series)
1 Optimus Primal (gorilla)
1 Raiden/Trainbots (from the Japanese "Transformers: Headmasters"
series)
1 Rhinox
1 Skywarp (original)
1 Soundwave (original)
1 Sprocket
1 Star Saber (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Starscream (original)
1 Super God Jin Rai (from the Japanese "Transformers: Masterforce"
series)
1 Superion/Aerialbots gift set
1 Trypticon
1 Victory Saber (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Waspinator
1 Wreck-Gar
2 Cyclonus
2 Galvatron
2 Optimus Prime (Laser Rod)
2 Optimus Prime (Powermaster)
2 Predaking (original Predacon combiner)
2 Swoop
3 Omega Supreme
3 Optimus Prime (original)
3 Prowl (original)
3 Rodimus Prime
3 Shockwave (original)
3 Springer
3 Ultra Magnus
4 Deathsaurus (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
4 Hot Rod
4 Megatron (original)
14 Fortress Maximus
21 Jetfire (original)
[Some fans turned altruistic for this question:]
Fort Max, so everyone who ever wanted one could get it, and to see scalpers
cry because of it.
--Ari X
Waspinator. Just cause so many people are still looking for him.
--Lillith S. Rael
[For most folks, however, it was a chance to go shopping:]
Hot Rod. It was never released in Mexico and I WANT TO BUY HIM!
--Marijose Diaz
Super God Ginrai -- that way I can get one without paying mucho dinero for
one -- or rather, many yen....
--Phil Zeman
Rodimus Prime, just so I can have one.
--Jenn Kretch
Fortress Maximus, of course, so I can finally get one!
--Dave Connell
Rhinox! Maybe they'll make more and I'll finally be able to *buy* him!
--Chase Hawks
Action Master Sprocket (Since it's the only one I STILL can't find!)
--Lewis M. Brooks III
[Meanwhile, this is why Kenner doesn't know what to do:]
All of the '87 line :)
--Martin Lund
I don't want any toys rereleased. I want new toys!
--Prowl152
Out of everything, I just want a G1 Optimus Prime again. I threw my first
one down the stairs (The reason was I just watched More Then Meets The
Eyes, and OP took flight with Sideswipe's rocket pack) and it smashed...
badly.
--Rattrap
[Awwwwwwwwwwwww...]
LORD JHIAXUS: Such disgusting sentimentality. Optimus Prime SHOULD
be smashed badly.
MINION: No offense, sir, but you ARE a little biased in this
area.
LORD JHIAXUS: Yes -- what of it?
MINION: Never mind.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The Kibbles-n-Bits-n-Bits Award, for the part(s) of a Transformers toy
that are the easiest to lose
1 Airazor, tail weapon
1 Battletrap, both halves
1 Bluestreak/Prowl/Smokescreen, windshield
1 Brainstorm, Arcana (Headmaster figure)
1 Constructicons, accessories
1 Cyberjets, missiles
1 Cyclonus, gun
1 Decepticon jets, tailfins
1 Dreadwing (Generation 2 Advanced Tactical Bomber), missiles
1 Firecracker, gun
1 Fortress Maximus, all parts
1 Galvatron, cannon
1 Hoist, green lid
1 Hook, leg
1 Hot Rod (Targetmaster), gun
1 Hot Rod, hood
1 Hound, spare tire
1 Jetfire, armor
1 Megatron (original), accessories
1 Megatron (original), silver handgun
1 Metroplex, Scamper's gun
1 Metroplex, Sixgun
1 Mirage (original), spoilers
1 Omega Supreme, yellow clips
1 Optimus Primal (bat), swords
1 Optimus Prime (Powermaster), large Optimus head
1 Over-Run, entire toy
1 Quake, cannon nozzle
1 Rhinox, weapon components
1 Roadbuster, missiles
1 Scorponok (original), city components
1 Scrapper, roof
1 Skids, missiles
1 Slingshot, gun
1 Sunstreaker, shoulder pads
1 Technobots, handguns
1 Treadshot, handgun
1 Trypticon, Full-Tilt's weapon
1 Ultra Magnus, hands
1 Waspinator, missiles
1 Wheelie, windshield
1 Wheeljack, missiles
1 Wheeljack, spoiler
2 Blitzwing, missiles
2 Devastator (Constructicon combiner), all pieces
2 Galvatron, gun
2 Inferno (original), white shoulder wings
2 Ironhide/Ratchet, gun peg
2 Metroplex, Scamper
2 Metroplex, Scamper's arms
2 Optimus Prime (original), gas hose/nozzle
2 Optimus Prime (Powermaster), HiQ
2 Rattrap, guns
3 Constructicons, guns
3 Fortress Maximus, Spike
3 Optimus Primal (gorilla), missiles
4 Decepticon jets, missiles
4 Optimus Prime (Laser Rod), plastic missiles
5 Decepticon jets, fists
6 Optimus Prime (original), fists
8 Decepticon jets, front landing gear
The original OP's and the Ultra Magnus cab's fists. I lost mine about
thrity-five minutes after opening the package.
--Stormcloud
The Stickers :P
--ViperX
[Toy-playing tip of the week:]
I'd say LOP's ripple-fire missles - the launcher is so sensitive you can
fire the missiles (into the last place you'll search) just by looking at it
funny
--Dread Wing
Powermaster Optimus Prime. Hi-Q will pop out of him if you look at him
cross-eyed.
--Carrie R. Brown
Wheeljack. Wings, spoiler, missles... maybe they weren't that easy to
lose, I got him when I was 5 which could explain the problem. =]
--Soundwave9
I'm the only person I've ever met who has Sixgun from Metroplex entirely
intact.
--Urac 'Ratbat' Sigma
MINION: I've got a similar problem.
LORD JHIAXUS: Oh? You are missing your front landing gear?
MINION: I'm missing ALL of my landing gear -- shock, I
never had it to begin with. Watch.
[Minion jumps up and transforms to his flight mode. He FLOPS on the stage
with a loud BOOM, resting gracelessly on his flat underbelly. A moment
later, he transforms back to robot mode and climbs to his feet.]
MINION: You see? Rather embarassing.
LORD JHIAXUS: And is that also why you are now an unbecoming shade
of pink?
MINION: No, that's something else...
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The Dream Toy Award, for the Transformers toy that was never made but
should have been
1 Alpha Trion
1 Autobot City
1 Beta (from "Forever is a Long Time Coming")
1 Circuit Breaker
1 Dinobots combiner
1 Fortress Maximus (scaled to original characters)
1 Giant-sized Devastator (using Autorollers for scale)
1 Hot Rod (working, life-sized, artificially intelligent robot)
1 Jazz (Cybertronian form)
1 Megatron (cartoon-design accurate)
1 Megatron (six-changer)
1 Menasor (Action Master)
1 "My Size" Transformers
1 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
1 Other Quintesson Sharkticons ("Alligatorcon")
1 Primus
1 Primus and Unicron Astral Plane battle set
1 Rack 'n Ruin toy (from the Transformers UK comic book series)
1 Ratchet/Megatron fused-together figure
1 Rodimus Prime (Super High-Bred Model)
1 Starscream (Beast Wars)
1 Starscream (Underbase-enhanced)
1 Terrorsaur (cartoon-accurate)
1 Ultra Megatron (from the Japanese "Return of Convoy/Battlestars"
series)
1 Unreleased Go-Bots
1 Yellow, Blue, and Green Decepticon jets (from "Divide and Conquer")
2 Defcon
2 Elita-1
2 Emirate Xaaron
2 Ironhide/Ratchet (cartoon-design accurate)
2 Lord Straxus (from the original comic book series)
2 Super Megatron (from the Japanese "Return of Convoy/Battlestars"
series)
3 Firestar (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
3 Quintessons
4 Playsets (various types)
4 Skyfire (not Jetfire; cartoon-accurate)
5 Lord Jhiaxus
21 Arcee
33 Unicron
Unicron!! (not counting that Japanese prototype)
--Sandblaster
Unicron. I know there was a prototype but I wouldn't have bought that
thing if it was at Kaybee on clearance!
--Soundwave9
A PROPERLY SCALED Unicron toy, which transforms just like in the movie and
is between 4-6 ft tall.
--Particle Man
[If you want Unicron to be properly scaled to the other toys, then he's
gotta be a LOT taller than six feet...]
I guess seeing the Unicron prototype caused me to fear ever seeing a
Unicron toy now. So I'll vote for cartoon Skyfire/comic Jetfire.
--Stanley Lui
The YF-19 and YF-21 Valkyries from Macross Plus, released as Autobot and
Decepticon next-generation Jetfires.
--Keith Palmer
Any femme!
--Charlotte Brogden
Action Master Beta w/ BW or MW level posability & a spring-loaded crossbow
w/ crystal red missiles.
--Suzanne M. Ferree
MINION: Congratulations, Lord Jhiaxus.
LORD JHIAXUS: For what? I can understand losing to Unicron, but to
Arcee? A miserable, frail, wretched AUTOBOT?
MINION: Yes, but you have to remember, she appeared in the
movie.
LORD JHIAXUS: SO???
MINION: It's more prominent. Look at it this way -- you
haven't lost to an Autobot; you placed third in the
ranks, even though you were handicapped with a low-
profile comic book series and bad Manny Galan art.
LORD JHIAXUS: Hnngh ... I suppose. But it's still irritating.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The Blackwell Award, for the Transformers toy with the best color
scheme
1 Air Raid (Cyberjet)
1 Bruticus (Combaticon combiner; original)
1 Cheetor
1 Clench/Colossus (European Decepticon Obliterator leader)
1 Computron
1 Cyclonus
1 Devastator (Constructicon combiner)
1 Dreadwing (Generation 2 Advanced Tactical Bomber)
1 Fractyl (BotCon '97 exclusive)
1 Frenzy (original)
1 Getaway
1 Huffer
1 Jazz (original)
1 Jetstorm (Generation 2)
1 Lazorbeak (Beast Wars)
1 Megatron (Beast Wars Japanese alligator CD-ROM exclusive)
1 Megatron (Machine Wars)
1 Megatron (original)
1 Misfire
1 Onslaught
1 Optimus Prime (Laser Rod)
1 Optimus Prime (Powermaster)
1 Powerglide
1 Predaking (original Predacon combiner)
1 Punch/Counterpunch
1 Razorclaw (Beast Wars)
1 Rotorstorm
1 Sideswipe (Generation 2)
1 Soundwave (original)
1 Spittor
1 Squawktalk
1 Star Saber (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Starscream (Machine Wars)
1 Thrust
1 Trailbreaker
1 Trypticon
1 Waspinator
1 Waverider (Pretender inner robot)
2 Black Zarak
2 Magnaboss
2 Megatron (Combat Hero)
2 Optimus Prime (Machine Wars)
2 Razorclaw (original)
2 Shockwave
2 Sixshot
2 Starscream (original)
2 Stepper (Japanese exclusive toy; repainted Jazz)
2 Superion (original)
2 Tigatron
3 Megatron (Generation 2 tank)
3 Prowl (original)
4 Jetfire (original)
4 Optimus Prime (original)
5 Hot Rod
5 Inferno (Beast Wars)
5 Ultra Magnus
9 Skywarp (original)
Ultra Magnus - he has the most patriotic touch to his colors =]
--Dark Angel
Ultra Magnus (Red, white, and blue! God bless America!)
--Kenneth D. Black
Cyclonus. Once again I will hype my favorite char by pointing to his cool
sleek Purple paint.
Cyberjet Air Raid (that black and blue is way too cool)
--Dread Wing
"And now here comes Optimus Prime, looking very stylish for summer in his
red and blue paint job, sure to wow the ladies at the Cybertronian ball..."
--John Thorpe
Trailbreaker. Basic black is always nice.
--Ken Schmidt
LORD JHIAXUS: Now this is the most trite award of all. Color
scheme! Since when does a warrior's colors affect
his fighting ability?
MINION: So my pink's okay, then?
LORD JHIAXUS: Nnnng. It's not much for camouflage, but I suppose
not. Are we done with these wretched awards now?
MINION: Yes, sir. That was the last one.
LORD JHIAXUS: Good. Then let us begone; my vow has been fulfilled,
and now I wish to return to return to my flagship.
This incident has left a bad taste in my mouth...
MINION: Good night, everybody!
[Cut to commercials]
===========================================================================
PART IIb: TRANSFORMERS MERCHANDISE
[Three UNDERSIZED tanks roll out from the LEFT SIDE of the stage, followed
by a beige bomber. On the RIGHT SIDE of the stage, a red, orange, and
purple SQUID lumbers out on its eight legs. They reach the center of the
stage and transform into robots, giving the impression of a parent and his
four exuberant children.]
FLAK: WhoooEEEE!!! Awright, folks, prepare to ROCK!
'cause this is the Micromaster Battle Patrol and
we're gonna be presenting the Trannies for the
winners in merchandising!
[He fires a rocket over the auditorium, which explodes with a loud and
colorful BLOSSOM, like a giant firecracker.]
I'm Flak, and my boys here are Big Shot, Sunrunner,
and Sidetrack -- the Mean Team Supreme!
SUNRUNNER: WAHOO!
[Audience applauds. There is an awkward silence when the applause ends.]
SIDETRACK: Um... (pokes Claw Jaw) A-hem?
CLAW JAW: Oh, uh, sorry. Hi. I'm Claw Jaw.
[More applause. Then another moment of silence.]
FLAK: Hey, you okay there, C.J.?
BIG SHOT: Yeah, pal, you're about as lively as a disassembled
bazooka. Whassup?
CLAW JAW: (sighs) I'm sorry. I'm just so upset.
SIDETRACK: What for? Cool enough already that you're presenting
at the Trannies, but you're sharing the stage with
*US!* What's there to be upset about?
BIG SHOT: Didja girlfriend run off with a mermaid?
SUNRUNNER: HA!
CLAW JAW: No, no, no. I'm just ... well, let's face it. The
only reason we're presenting these awards is because
there's no merchandise for us, is there?
FLAK: Nope!
CLAW JAW: So?
SUNRUNNER: Um...
BIG SHOT: "So what?"
CLAW JAW: No! Don't you feel terrible, that we're so pathethic
that nobody wants us?
FLAK: Aw, geez! Are you KIDDING?
SIDETRACK: C'mon, eight-legs! Have you SEEN the stuff that
comes out of the merchandising machine?
BIG SHOT: Trust us, guy -- we're LUCKY they ain't plastered
our ugly mugs all over the place!
FLAK: Cheapens the whole thing, y'know?
SUNRUNNER: YEAH!
SIDETRACK: Kinda hard to intimidate the opposition when your
face is stuck on T-shirts and lunchboxes, pal!
CLAW JAW: Um...
FLAK: Look, C.J., just relax and pay attention. You'll
soon see what we mean.
BIG SHOT: Enough talk -- TIME FOR THE LOOT!
*** Best Merchandise Item of All Time
1 Beast Wars card game
1 Beast Wars videotape (French)
1 Big Wheel tricycle
1 Bluestreak 3D transforming jigsaw puzzle
1 Breakfast tray
1 Cartoon videos
1 Coloring books (original series)
1 Comic books (UK series)
1 Handheld video game
1 Inflatable Unicron beach ball
1 Jazz and Skywarp battling backpack/handbag
1 Lazer Blazers holographic stickers
1 Lunchbox (original characters)
1 MC Axis (Japan) Hot Rod vinyl model kit
1 McDonalds Beast Wars Happy Meal toys
1 Movie character boardgame
1 Optimus Prime costume
1 Optimus Prime slippers
1 Plastic cups (Devastator/Ultra Magnus/Superion/Omega Supreme)
1 Read-A-Long Books
1 S.T.A.R.S. cardboard control center playset
1 Sleeping bag
1 Soundwave beach towel
1 Soundwave drawing/design center
1 Time Warrior watch
1 Trading cards
1 Transformers (movie characters) bed sheets
1 Transformers: The Movie laserdisc
1 Transformers: The Movie poster
1 Transformers: The Movie poster (Japan)
1 Transformers: The Movie poster (UK)
2 Comic books (original series)
2 Commodore 64 computer game (first)
2 Lunchbox (third-year battle scene)
2 School folders
2 Soundwave tape player
2 Stamp Bots set (with Optimus Prime carrying case)
2 Ultra Magnus voice changer
2 Underoos underwear
4 BotCon '97 "'Til All Are One" dual CD
4 Sticker album (original)
4 Transformers: The Movie videotape
4 Tyco train set
5 Transformers: The Movie soundtrack
6 Beast Wars computer/video game
The BW game for the Playstation/PC. No simple "slap the licensed characters
on something" technique normal to merchandise... instead we get a well-
crafted game with challenge.
--M Sipher
I'd say the french Beast Wars videocassette. Five episodes translated in
french. (and *Gawd* is it awful)
--Chase Hawks
[And this is your choice for the *best* item? B-]
Colouring books. Colouring books rock. The G1 ones do, I mean.
--Lillith S. Rael
The Devastator/Ultra Magnus/Superion/Omega Supreme [plastic cups]. (Yeesh,
I had forgotten how every aspect of TFs was re-merchandised at least
twice...)
--Stormcloud
FLAK: Oh, that's rich!
BIG SHOT: Hooboy!
SIDETRACK: Talk about crazy!
SUNRUNNER: HA!
CLAW JAW: What are you laughing at?
FLAK: What do you mean, what're we laughing at?
CLAW JAW: Aren't you depressed at being passed up for this?
SIDETRACK: No way!
FLAK: Thank the Matrix, no!
SUNRUNNER: PBBBBBBBBT!
CLAW JAW: What? None of you want to star in a video game? To
be at the center of the action, fighting for the
freedom against the Decepticons?
BIG SHOT: Fighting for a new high score, ya mean!
FLAK: Yeah, C.J. Pixel blasting ain't half as satisfying
as REAL blasting, y'know?
SIDETRACK: Just hit reset, and the targets pop back up!
FLAK: Where's the pleasure in that?
CLAW JAW: But the honor, the prestige--
BIG SHOT: Who needs it?
SUNRUNNER: Not me!
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Worst Merchandise Item of All Time
1 Autobot sunglasses
1 Coloring books (Generation 2)
1 Comic books
1 Decepto-Pack dress-up set
1 Finland Transformers sweets
1 Generation 2 backpack
1 Jigsaw puzzle
1 Lunchbox (original characters)
1 Nintendo/Famicom video game
1 Optimus Prime bubble blower
1 Optimus Prime cookie jar
1 Optimus Prime Halloween costume (Generation 2)
1 Optimus Prime inflatable bop bag
1 Optimus Prime pencil holder
1 Plastic magnifying glass (included with Transformers UK comic; used
"to look for Micromasters")
1 Ravage wallet
1 Read-A-Long Books
1 Snarl stamp bot
1 Soundwave tape player
1 Stamp Bots set (with Optimus Prime carrying case)
1 Sticker album
1 Storybook, "The Story of Wheelie, the Wild Boy of Quintesson"
1 Time Warrior watch
1 Transformers (first-season) bed sheets
1 Transformers ball
1 Transformers: The Movie board game
1 Transformers: The Movie sticker/decoder book
1 Triple-changing radio (Autobot/Decepticon/Transformer logos)
1 Wheeljack doorbell
2 Beast Wars Microverse sets
2 Commodore 64 computer game (first)
2 Listen 'n Look/Kid Stuff storybooks
2 Optimus Prime eraser
3 Panther/Rhino McDonalds Beast Wars toys
3 Party Pak (plates, napkins, cups, tablecloth)
4 Optimus Prime electric toothbrush/oral care station
4 Underoos underwear
I don't know of any. Put a Cybertronian shield on it and it will be good!
- er, but not underwear... AH! Underoos! There you've got one! Optimus
Prime under your shirt - Megatron pointing his fusion cannon just where you
wish he wasn't! OUCH!
--ArkNorth
Optimus Primal Oral care station (that name just sounds gross)
--Doug Kern
Transformers audio tapes w/ books. "Satellite of Doom", "When Continents
Collide", etc. I have three of them unfortunately. The voices, and the
"stories" if you can call them that, are horrible.
--Soundwave9
The Transformer ball, it popped when I sat on it many years ago =*(....
--Megatron33
The G2 Optimus bop bag... Great idea, Hasbro- let's have kids beat the iss
out of your number-one good guy...
--Tengu
[Maybe the kids could imagine they were getting kickboxing lessons from
Prime...]
it's all good
--Graeme MacDonald
[Here's a guy the marketing people must *LOVE*... B-]
FLAK: Now see? THIS is what you've been spared from, C.J.
CLAW JAW: Underwear?
SIDETRACK: Do you REALLY want your face on some kid's briefs?
BIG SHOT: They'd probably have him hugging the butt!
SUNRUNNER: HAR!
CLAW JAW: Underwear?
SIDETRACK: Beats hugging something ELSE below the border!
SUNRUNNER: HAH!
FLAK: Howsabout a "Claw Jaw Oral Care Station?"
BIG SHOT: "My turning tentacles keep your teeth tidy!"
SUNRUNNER: HEE!
CLAW JAW: Underwear...
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Funniest Merchandise Item of All Time
1 "Bumblebee to the Rescue" coloring book
1 "Decepticon Madness" coloring book
1 Beast Wars video game
1 Beast Wars videotape (French)
1 Cardboard cut-out transforming Decepticon jets (cereal premium)
1 Commodore 64 computer game (first)
1 Hide 'N Sleep tent
1 Inflatable Unicron beach ball
1 Megatron eraser
1 Megatron gumball machine
1 Megatron/Optimus Prime Battlin' Robots game
1 Napkins
1 Optimus Prime bubble blower
1 Optimus Prime pencil topper
1 Optimus Prime radio
1 Paper plates
1 Stamp Bots set (with Optimus Prime carrying case)
1 Starscream Lounge-In chair
1 Starscream zipper clip
1 Sticker album
1 Wheeljack doorbell
2 Soundwave tape player
2 Ultra Magnus voice changer
4 Optimus Prime inflatable bop bag
7 Optimus Prime slippers
7 Underoos underwear
10 Optimus Prime electric toothbrush/oral care station
Optimus Prime automatic toothbrush - I had one but was too scared to ever
use it.
--Prowl152
Optimus Prime electric tooth brush....ok I had one and used it, but it was
a weird idea.
--Dan McCollum
The Starscream inflatable lounge chair. Saw it for the first time in
Raksha's collection at BotCon 95....could not stop laughing. :)
--Lia Brown
Electronic Voice Synthesizer, Ultra Magnus type (Who'd want to sound like
Ultra Magnus?)
--Eric Lee Cline
[OUCH.]
The Adorably Cute OP Slippers.
--EmarZero
The TF bed tent...I almost suffocated playing in that thing.
--Ari X
[And you consider this the "funniest" item?]
FLAK: Hey, guys, the toothbrush won!
SIDETRACK: From an Autobot with no teeth!
BIG SHOT: Or a MOUTH!
SUNRUNNER: HA!
CLAW JAW: Primus ... that could have been me, couldn't it?
SIDETRACK: Well, maybe not THAT easily...
FLAK: No offense, C.J., but you're not exactly the most
charismatic character around, y'know?
CLAW JAW: Why not? I've got LOTS of appeal!
SUNRUNNER: Yeah?
SIDETRACK: Like what?
CLAW JAW: (waves tentacles) I've got sticky tentacles! The
Preds hate it when I grab 'em with these, it feels
really icky!
FLAK: Yeah, THAT'LL do it.
SUNRUNNER: It's the new read-along storybook! "Claw Jaw --
Icky Terror of the Deep!"
BIG SHOT: Or the Claw Jaw Stick-Um ball! Throw 'im on the
wall for hours of sticky fun!
SUNRUNNER: WOO!
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The "Justifiable Murder" Award, for the most desired merchandise item
you want
1 Bluestreak 3D transforming jigsaw puzzle
1 BotCon Japan Super Highbred Model plasma bath Galvatron figure
1 Collector's case
1 Commodore 64 computer game (second)
1 Complete set of Japanese Transformers laserdiscs
1 Complete set of the Marvel UK comic book series
1 Franklin Institute robot exhibit Transformers display
1 Decepticon voice changer
1 Galvatron school folder
1 Grimlock clay statuette kit
1 Inflatable Unicron beach ball
1 Japanese movie characters jigsaw puzzle
1 Japanese trading cards
1 Kronoform watch (Autoceptor, black)
1 Lunch box (original character art)
1 Lunch box (Shockwave vs. Dinobots, orange)
1 McDonalds Happy Meals minibots
1 Megatron/Optimus Prime Battlin' Robots game
1 Optimus Prime cookie jar
1 Optimus Prime slippers
1 Soundwave bedspread (Australia)
1 Soundwave drawing/design center
1 Sticker album (Transformers: The Movie)
1 Transformers: Headmasters (English-dubbed)
1 Transformers: The Complete Works, part 1 (Marvel UK)
1 Transformers: The Movie poster
1 Transformers: The Movie poster (Japanese)
1 Tyco electric racing (slot car) set
1 Underoos underwear
2 Beast Wars computer/video game
2 BotCon '97 "'Til All Are One" dual-CD set
2 Optimus Prime electric toothbrush/oral care station
2 Soundwave tape player
2 Transformers: The Movie laser disc
2 Unicron prototype
3 Transformers: The Movie videotape
5 MC Axis (Japan) vinyl model kits (Arcee, Hot Rod, Elita-1)
5 Tyco train set
Life size, anatomically correct, Arcee figure!
--Kenneth D. Black
The Arcee blow-up doll.
--Jeremy W. Kiesling
[Aside from the fact that it doesn't exist, I REALLY have to wonder about
these guys...]
A Galvatron folder like the one Raksha had on display at BotCon '95. I want
one of those! (I won't take hers, though. I'll be good. :))
--Tut
I wanna Unicron prototype! (whine)
--Particle Man
[You can HAVE it...]
that one working radio kitbash transformer from argentena.
--Dinobot
No idea...oh, yeah, I know! If the Hartmans would get around to sending me
my sodding BotCon 97 vid!
--Urac 'Ratbat' Sigma
[You want Customer Service, two doors down.]
Fort Max! (Don't know what it is but I've paid attention on A.T.T. :-) )
--Jennifer C. Stevens
SIDETRACK: Okay, trains are cool.
FLAK: That they are. A good soldier needs a solid supply
line; NEVER diss a train.
SUNRUNNER: Na-uh!
BIG SHOT: 'specially with cars that transform!
BATTLE PATROL: (chorus) YEAH!
FLAK: I worry about those blow-up doll guys, though.
SIDTRACK: Yeah -- even by OUR standards, that's weiiiiiird...
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The Stoned-Out Marketeers Award, for the strangest merchandise item
ever made
1 "Decepto-pack" dress-up set (backpack transforms to costume)
1 "Sun Raid" Colorforms Listen 'n Play sticker book and audio tape
1 Backpack (original characters)
1 Battling Robots (Optimus Prime and Megatron) game
1 Birthday candles
1 Commodore 64 computer game (first)
1 Decoys
1 Inflatable Unicron beach ball
1 Jetfire kite
1 Optimus Prime kite
1 Soundwave pencil
1 Soundwave tape player
1 Starscream Lounge-In chair
1 Starscream zipper clip
1 Transformers sunglasses
1 Ultra Magnus voice changer
1 Wheeljack doorbell
2 Megatron gumball machine
2 My First Transformer toys
2 Optimus Prime inflatable bop bag
2 Party paks
4 Optimus Prime cookie jar
5 Underoos underwear
6 Optimus Prime slippers
12 Optimus Prime electric toothbrush/oral care station
Underoos (because...who's ever gonna see your love of Transformers when
they're in underwear form??)
--Thunderlips
["Sun Raid":] Those were colorforms-type books with cassette story, with
box art characters for the colorforms. The voice actors were really lame.
The one I have is called SUN RAID... but the possibilities were really
wacky when you get to make your own story on side 2, and put the stickers
anywhere!!!
--The Nixtr
[So you mean to say that the Colorforms folks were praising the benefits of
a BLANK AUDIO TAPE?]
The Magnus voice-changer (Not a weird idea really but those plastic straws
you stuck in your mouth that allowed you to just mouth the words, with only
two straw thingy's and a host of friend's who're going to want to try out
your new toy, the sanitation question just bothers me..)
--Beast Warrior RatBat
The Activision C64 game w/ the T-Rex that escapes from the amusement park &
the hippo that chews on the oil pipe (Why in the name of Cybertron would a
hippo chew an oil pipe?!?!)
--Suzanne Ferree
['cause he was teething?]
SIDETRACK: Hey, an oil-eating hippo!
FLAK: That's something you don't see every day.
BIG SHOT: Thank Primus!
SUNRUNNER: (sniggers)
CLAW JAW: That IS rather...
BIG SHOT: Stupid?
FLAK: Demeaning?
SIDETRACK: Screwy?
CLAW JAW: Er...
FLAK: Now do you see, C.J.?
SIDETRACK: Is that how you want the fans to remember you?
BIG SHOT: Slapping icky tentacles on oil-eating hippos?
SUNRUNNER: "Hungry Hungry Hippos!"
CLAW JAW: Well, no... But what about the posters? Or the
model kits?
SIDETRACK: Or the fuzzy slippers?
FLAK: Or the underwear?
BIG SHOT: Or the stick-um ball?
FLAK: Face it, C.J. If you're gonna be a merchandising star,
you gotta take the slag with the steel.
BIG SHOT: And there's a lot of slag out there!
SIDETRACK: Count us OUT!
SUNRUNNER: Yeah!
------------------------------------------------------------
*** The Fantasy Franchise Award, for the merchandise item that you most
wish someone would make
1 Adult-sized Transformers costumes
1 Amiga computer game
1 Autobot-edition Porsche 911
1 Automobile Autobot/Decepticon decals
1 Axalon and Predacon base ships
1 Beast Wars beanie babies
1 Beast Wars trading cards
1 Cardboard standups
1 Cheetor sports drink
1 Chess set
1 Complete cartoon collection on DVD (original to present)
1 Cybertron globe
1 Cybertron playset
1 Decoy display case (wall-mounted)
1 Doom/Quake game
1 English subtitled Japanese Transformers episodes
1 Foosball (table soccer) game
1 Galvatron transforming flashlight
1 Giant-sized Mixmaster with working cement mixer
1 Housepets
1 Inferno (Beast Wars) hairdrier
1 Life-sized Blackarachnia statue
1 Life-sized exo-suit
1 Life-sized fusion cannon (Megatron's)
1 Life-sized Rattrap model kit
1 Lingerie
1 "Make Your Own Transformers" CD-ROM
1 Megatron slippers
1 Megatron thumb-tumble puppet
1 Megatron's fusion cannon
1 Novel
1 Plush classic Transformers characters
1 Plush Rattrap
1 Plush Starscream (transformable)
1 Plush Tarantulas
1 Powermaster Optimus Prime death ray
1 Purring plush Ravage
1 Real-life Arcee robot
1 Real-life Galvatron robot
1 Removable Decepticon tattoos
1 Resin model kits
1 Rook (personal MUSH character) action figure
1 Season 3 cartoon writers/editors target clay pigeons
1 Springer pillowcase
1 Super Nintendo video game
1 Takatoku Macross Valkyries (recolored as Transformers)
1 Toy reference book (large, full color)
1 Transformers: The Movie (widescreen edition)
1 Transformers-themed computer system
1 Transforming costumes
1 Transmetal Tarantulas/Rattrap "Power Wheels" motorized kiddie cars
1 Transmogrifier
1 Working Blaster boombox
2 Beasy Wars underwear
2 Clothing line
2 Complete cartoon collection on videotape (original to present)
2 Life-sized Matrix
2 Mecha combat/power armor
2 Posters
2 Radio-controlled transforming cars/Transformers
2 Transformers video game (original series)
5 Real-life transforming cars/Transformers
A car that transforms.. Preferably a 98' Pontiac Rageous prototype :)
--Shawn Martin
Real cars modeled after TF's in their vehicle modes.
--Antiledo
[Some of those exist already. There's a Lamborghini dealership down the
street from me, and the car on display looks just like Sideswipe... B-]
A full-color, large-scale, fully illustrated, one-page-per-toy book of the
TF Toy List.
--Robert E. Powers
A nice cuddly plush Tarantulas!
--Raksha
PLUSH RATTY!! (hehehe =)
--Dread Wing
[Plush Tarantulas vs. plush Rattrap -- lemme get my camcorder!]
Transformer housepets! Divebomb as a parrot! Razorclaw and Rampage as
kittens! Repugnus the friendly bug! Scorponok the, errr..scorpion! And
they're all housetrained! Deadly weapons not included! Woo! Errr... I'm
finished now... :>
--Velociripper
Transformers: Heavy Metal Dreams (tm) Every single episode as it was aired
the first time, from MTMTE to the latest BW episode, including Jap series.
--Marijose Diaz
Inflatable Arcee!
--Iggy Drougge
[Iggy, Kenneth, Jeremy. Have fun, guys...]
A playset of the room the Golden Disks were kept in in "Coming of the
Fuzors", complete with a Waspinator that can be compressed into a cube and
then restored to normal.
--Wazzpin8or
FLAK: Well, that's the last of 'em. Have you guys
learned anything tonight?
BIG SHOT: Sure! These fans'll buy radioactive waste if it's
got a Transformers logo on it!
SIDETRACK: Not that I'm complaining!
FLAK: No way! An enthusiastic fan is always better than an
apathethic one. If he's willing to pull for me, I
don't care if he sleeps in Grimlock pajamas!
SUNRUNNER: I know!
BIG SHOT: And knowing is half the battle!
[Sidetrack takes a playful swipe at Big Shot.]
FLAK: Whaddabout you, C.J.? You learn anything tonight?
CLAW JAW: Oh, yes, Flak. I see how silly I was before; just
because I haven't been merchandised to death doesn't
mean I'm unimportant. And I should be thankful that
I haven't been demeaned in a shoddy licensing deal.
SIDETRACK: You got it!
BIG SHOT: Another victory for the Mean Team Supreme!
SUNRUNNER: YAHOO!
CLAW JAW: I feel great, guys. In fact, now I'm sure that sales
of my toy will be picking up any day now.
SIDETRACK: Well, let's not go overboard here...
FLAK: Yeah, C.J. I t'ink you need to learn about marketing
now. Like the meaning of the term "peg warmer"...
[Cut to commercials]
===========================================================================
PART IIIa: CARTOONS AND ANIMATED EPISODES
[An ominous BUZZING sound begins to fill the air. The crowd MURMURS as
they look UP at the source. Two unnaturally large insects -- a glistening
black dragonfly and a larger green and orange fly -- descend with a slow,
steady pace. With PERFECT SYNCHRONIZATION, they transform to robot forms,
land on the stage, and bow to the audience.]
VENOM: Greetings, humans. We're here tonight to present the
Trannies in the category of animated cartoons. I am
Venom, leader of the Insecticons.
JETSTORM: And I'm Jetstorm, of the Predacons!
[Applause.]
JETSTORM: Well, let's get started!
VENOM: Okay. Um...
JETSTORM: What's wrong?
VENOM: (searches self) I can't find the envelopes.
JETSTORM: What? The results?
VENOM: Yeah. I could've sworn-- Oh, here they are.
JETSTORM: You better be careful!
VENOM: I must be excited or something... Here, Jetstorm,
you hold them.
JETSTORM: Me?
VENOM: Sure! I'm too nervous; just hand me the envelopes
and I'll read the results.
JETSTORM: But I wanted to--
VENOM: Yeah, I know, but if I have them, I'll just lose them
again, and that'll be a mess. Better to give them to
a responsible 'con like you.
JETSTORM: Yeah, Megatron's always saying I'm responsible.
VENOM: Here you go, then.
JETSTORM: And here's the first one!
VENOM: Terrific. Now, ladies and gentlemen...
*** Best Episode of the Year
1 Call of the Wild
1 Dark Voyage
2 Other Voices, part 1
3 Maximal No More
4 Spider's Game
4 Tangled Web
7 Before the Storm
7 Coming of the Fuzors, part 1
7 Coming of the Fuzors, part 2
7 Law of the Jungle
9 Aftermath
16 Other Voices, part 2
20 Possession
other voices pt 2 - No matter how you compare it lands on top. I've seen
it.. uh, several times.
--Mike Laird
["Law of the Jungle":] The horrors of war, the death of innocents and loved
ones, and the nature of Dinobot and Tigatron, all in one half hour block.
It was absolutely amazing, and one of the best Transformer stories ever.
--Particle Man
Oh come on, Mr. Nitpicky! Geez ..... All right, Coming of the Fuzzies ...
er Fuzors, Part 1.
--Dark Angel
my pick: before the storm, mainly becos' it's so funny. and hey, it's also
helping the WHO project the message of healthy teeth and gums - that scene
with megs and his toothbrush.:)
--Valerie Lim
JETSTORM: Awright! "Possession"!
VENOM: It was nice to see Starscream again, as it were.
JETSTORM: Yeah, that was so cool. Hey, you think you'll ever
be on the show, Venom?
VENOM: I don't know. But if I do, I want a low-profile
part, not something too visible.
JETSTORM: Oh? Are you shy?
VENOM: Not really, but since Starscream didn't do too well
by being so overt, I'd like to try another approach.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Multiple-Episode Series/Story Arc of the Year
1 Blackarachnia possessed ("Aftermath," "Coming of the Fuzors," and
"Tangled Web")
1 Original Transformers tie-in ("Possession" and "Other Voices" parts
1 and 2)
1 The Trigger
2 Alien agenda arc continuation ("The Trigger" parts 1 and 2, "Before
the Storm," "Other Voices" parts 1 and 2, and "Aftermath")
2 Season 1/Season 2 bridge (short; "Other Voices" and "Aftermath")
5 Season 1 ending ("Before the Storm" and "Other Voices" parts 1 and 2)
17 Season 1/Season 2 bridge (extended; "Before the Storm," "Other
Voices," "Aftermath," and/or "Coming of the Fuzors")
19 Coming of the Fuzors
35 Other Voices
So we get to choose between "Other Voices" and "Coming of the Fuzors"?
--Rodimus
[Blame Larry and Bob and Mainframe and Hasbro for not doing more multi-part
episodes. B-]
Coming of the Fuzors: We love you, Quickstrike!!!!!!!
--EmarZero
"Before the Storm"/"Other Voices Pts. 1 & 2"/"Aftermath". The sacrifice
and rebirth of Optimus Primal
--Carrie R. Brown
[So now Primal's the newest Optimus to have a Jesus complex...]
VENOM: There's another great episode.
JETSTORM: Oh, yeah! Watching the moon transform into that big
gun is so cool...
VENOM: I love the part where Primal's talking to the big
CGI Unicron, myself.
JETSTORM: What does "CGI" mean?
VENOM: You don't know?
JETSTORM: (shakes head) Na-uh.
VENOM: Oh ... it stands for "Cool, Gigantic Image."
JETSTORM: Really?
VENOM: Would I lie?
JETSTORM: I don't know, would you?
VENOM: Of course not.
JETSTORM: Oh, good.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Episode Ever
1 Aftermath
1 Attack the Shuttle Base! (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory"
series)
1 Before the Storm
1 Big Broadcast of 2006
1 Coming of the Fuzors, part 1
1 Dark Voyage
1 Dweller in the Depths
1 Rebirth, part 3
1 Revenge of Bruticus
1 Spider's Game
1 Terror of the Six Shadows (from the Japanese "Transformers:
Masterforce" series)
1 The Killing Jar
1 The Secret of Omega Supreme
1 The Ultimate Doom, part 3
1 Triple Takeover
1 Victory
2 A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court
2 Enter the Nightbird
2 Fire in the Sky
2 Gorilla Warfare
2 Heavy Metal War
2 Masquerade
2 More Than Meets the Eye, part 1
2 Only Human
2 Possession
2 The Master Builders
2 The Probe
2 The Return of Optimus Prime, part 2
3 Other Voices, part 2
3 The Golden Lagoon
3 The Return of Optimus Prime, part 1
3 War Dawn
4 S.O.S. Dinobots
4 Starscream's Brigade
4 The Burden Hardest to Bear
5 Law of the Jungle
7 Dark Awakening
10 Call of the Primitives
10 Webworld
Web World. Among all the other things in it, it proved two points:
Galvatron was very surely, very incredibly insane, and Cyclonus was the
most loyal and/or stupid Decepticon of all time.
--Stormcloud
Call of the Primitives. Yeah, I'm a bandwagon jumper.
--Ari X
I know I'll be the only one to vote for this, but "Dark Voyage." It's my
favorite episode; I love the plot idea, the animation was lovely, and the
whole adventure of it was a welcome change from the regular fodder.
--Jennifer C. Stevens
BW "The Probe". The "good guys" LOSE. LOSE. BOTH sides get the crap beat
out of each other, brutal fight scenes, more of Dinobot's tortured sense of
loyalty... and the "bad guys" win! How often does THAT happen in a "kids"
show?
--M Sipher
JETSTORM: Hey, there's a tie!
VENOM: Yep. A draw between great animation and great
storytelling.
JETSTORM: So when's the tiebreaker?
VENOM: Tiebreaker?
JETSTORM: Yeah! We can't have two winners.
VENOM: Why not?
JETSTORM: Uhm ... we can't! Someone's gotta be the loser.
VENOM: Someone already is.
JETSTORM: Huh? Who?
VENOM: Forget it. Let's go on...
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Best Multiple-Episode Series/Story Arc Ever
1 Beast Wars (series premiere)
1 Beast Wars original Transformers tie-in ("Possession" and "Other
Voices" parts 1 and 2)
1 Beast Wars series (entire series)
1 Desertion of the Dinobots
1 God Jinrai becomes Victory Leo ("A Battle of Life and Death,"
"Farewell, God Jinrai," "Fight, Victory Leo," and "Awaken, Victory
Leo!"; from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Starscream's effects on Transformers history ("More Than Meets the
Eye," "Fire in the Sky," "Starscream's Brigade," "Revenge of
Bruticus," "Starscream's Ghost," and "Ghost in the Machine")
1 Transformers: Masterforce (entire season)
2 Beast Wars Season 1/Season 2 bridge ("Before the Storm," "Other
Voices," "Aftermath," and "Coming of the Fuzors")
2 Five Faces of Darkness
2 Megatron's Master Plan
2 Transformers: Headmasters (entire season)
2 Transformers: Victory (entire season)
3 Beast Wars aliens story arc ("Beast Wars" parts 1 and 2, "Chain of
Command," "The Trigger" parts 1 and 2, "Before the Storm," "Other
Voices" parts 1 and 2, and "Aftermath.")
3 Beast Wars season 1 ending ("Before the Storm" and "Other Voices"
parts 1 and 2)
3 Starscream's Brigade/Revenge of Bruticus
4 Starscream's ghost ("Starscream's Ghost" and "Ghost in the Machine,"
with or without "Possession")
6 The Key to Vector Sigma
7 Other Voices
7 Rebirth
7 The Ultimate Doom (with or without "Countdown to Extinction")
19 The Return of Optimus Prime
21 More Than Meets the Eye
More than Meets the Eye. I still remember being hooked after seeing Prime
fall down the cliff. First TF episode I saw was that Part 2, and I watched
ever since.
--Phil Zeman
The ongoing BW story arc. Whatever you want to call it.
--Lillith S. Rael
[Starscream's ghost:] Starscream is one of my favorite characters and it
was cool to see him in action again after his death.
--Matthew C. Swenson
["The Return of Optimus Prime":] the only thing I think that gives it an
edge over MTMTE is the fact that you had humans and TF's go through
personal conflicts that meshed well with the overall story. That, and the
inkers did a fantastic job of making characters *look* metallic, as if
light and shadow were splashed across them they way light and shadow
splashes over real metal.
--Tut
I take it if I said five faces of darkness I would be shot right? :)
--Vulcana
[Not by *ME*...]
JETSTORM: Hey, Venom? I was thinking--
VENOM: Congratulations.
JETSTORM: --I'm not in the cartoon because Megatron says I'm
not ready, that he won't put me on until I get better
at acting and fighting.
VENOM: Okay...
JETSTORM: I don't really like that, but since he's in charge
and everything, I don't have a choice. But you ...
you're, like, the Insecticon leader. You're
important! How come you weren't in the cartoon?
VENOM: Oh, that's simple. I wanted to be in the cartoon,
Megatron -- my Megatron, I mean -- wanted me to be
in the cartoon, EVERYBODY wanted me in the cartoon.
But we were stopped by the most powerful force that
ever lived.
JETSTORM: (amazed) REALLY? What, Unicron?
VENOM: Nope. The lawyers.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Funniest Episode
1 A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court
1 Auto-bop
1 Changing Gears
1 Dinobot Island, part 1
1 Fight or Flee
1 Fire in the Sky
1 Five Faces of Darkness, part 2
1 Mach and Tackle (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory" series)
1 Madman's Paradise
1 Masquerade
1 Only Human
1 S.O.S. Dinobots
1 The Probe
1 The Victory Combination (from the Japanese "Transformers: Victory"
series)
1 Triple Takeover
2 A Better Mousetrap
2 Carnage in C-Minor
2 Five Faces of Darkness, part 3
2 Hoist Goes Hollywood
2 Microbots
2 Surprise Party
2 The Girl Who Loved Powerglide
3 Before the Storm
3 Grimlock's New Brain
4 Dark Designs
8 Webworld
9 Kremzeek!
33 The Low Road
The Low Road (Surprise! I liked it!)
--Eric Lee Cline
The Low Road. While definately a trip into Potty-humor land, you spend
most of the time just going, "I can't beleive they just did THAT..." and
then you laugh once the brain cells get back from their break. It was also
nice how scenes were transitioned.
--Hex
Just so it gets some votes -- The Low Road
--Vulcana
["Some"?]
Microbots. I could watch the drunken Decepticon scene forever.
--Bernardino Spensieri
[Five Faces of Darkness] Part 2, nothing could be so funny. How did
Grimlock do that thing with his voice?..."NOOOO!"
--Deszarus
I don't know about anyone else, but I laugh myself silly through 5 Faces of
Darkness.
--Ken Schmidt
Any episode with either Beachcomber, Powerglide, or Warpath
--Beast Warrior RatBat
"Webworld". Watching Galvatron wreck treatment method after treatment
method is just a hoot.