A Deadly Silence
Copyright 2002, Robert A. Jung (rjung@mac.com)
All characters depicted or mentioned in this story are the trademarks
and/or copyrights of their respective holders, except for those that
aren't. Any resemblance to actual people, alive or deceased, is
coincidental, etc., etc. Geez, it's just a story, guys. Don't get too
uptight over it...
* * *
It was a good day for tanning.
The gecko lizard stretched slightly in the late afternoon sun, warming
his hide against the flat stone. He had been fortunate enough to catch a
pair of crickets earlier, and his contented appetite merely added to the
day's pleasures. Not that his life was particularly complicated, but
having all of his needs satisfied for the moment was certainly better than
the alternative.
He cocked his head towards the east, where a massive, tan-colored
reptile was trudging down the hill. Since he was clearly moving away from
his rock, the gecko promptly ignored him and returned to his siesta.
Dismissing the smaller lizard as harmless, Dinobot snorted silently
and continued his march. He regularly went on these prolonged patrols,
surveying the area around the Maximal base for any potential Predacon
threats.
It was entirely voluntary, of course, and more than a little
redundant; the Axalon's sensor net constantly performed the same duty
with mechanical efficiency. But Dinobot was a warrior to his core, and
spending his days puttering around the Axalon was not a plan befitting of
him.
Still, he was not a tireless automaton, and even he needed rest after
a day out.
Dinobot approached the Axalon wordlessly. The starship's sensors
recognized his energy signature, and the automated weapons remained idle
to allow him peaceful passage. At the base of the lift, Dinobot
transformed to his robot mode, then allowed it to carry him into the belly
of the Axalon. As he ascended, he braced himself for what was to come --
a few superficial queries from Primal, perhaps some juvenile comments from
Cheetor, and -- inevitably -- an endless supply of "clever" quips from
Rattrap. Not for the first time did Dinobot wonder if he should have
remained with the Predacons instead.
As the lift reached the bridge, Dinobot was immediately caught aware
by the silence. The bridge normally echoed with a variety of minor
background noises, from Rhinox's latest experiments to the conversations
of Maximals in passing. Wary at the lack of noise, Dinobot withdrew his
sword from its subspace sheath and held it at the ready.
He hissed sharply as he stepped out. All of the other Maximals were
on the Bridge, but scattered around the floor like abandoned playthings.
Dinobot quickly surveyed the room for any intruders; finding none, he
darted to Optimus Primal's side, staying alert for a possible ambush.
A cursory evaluation merely reaffirmed his initial impressions --
Primal was alive, but in some sort of comatose state, oblivious to the
world. Though he was staring directly at Dinobot, his optics showed
no signs of understanding. With a grunt, Dinobot dragged Optimus Primal
into the CR chamber, then started the chamber's diagnosis/repair cycle.
As he pondered his next step, Dinobot surveyed the bridge once again,
and something on the primary display caught his attention. There was an
image there; it was barely visible through the snow and the noise, but
enough of a pattern remained to suggest ... SOMETHING ... beyond the
haze.
Sitting down at the controls, Dinobot quickly adjusted the display,
trying to lock on to the elusive signal.
With a sudden burst of white, the display flashed, revealing
The 2001
TTTTTTTT RRRRRR AA NNN NN NNN NN II EEEEEEE SSSSSS
TT RR RR AAAA NNNN NN NNNN NN II EE SS
TT RR RRR AA AA NNNNNNNN NNNNNNNN II EEEEE SSSSS
TT RR RR AA AA NN NNN NN NNN II EE SS
TT RR RR AA AAAAAA NN NN NN NN II EEEEEEE SSSSSS
Serving the Best In Refined Energon Since 1887!
As his mind locked down in self-defense, Dinobot could only manage to
scream in defiant rage and watch his universe...
SWIRL TO BLACK
HOLD for several seconds, as the theme music plays to its climax.
Then
SLOW CROSSFADE TO
the interior of the new KODAK THEATER, in Hollywood. The interior is
large and roomy, albeit with an emphasis on vertical orientation, and
filled with lots of RED CURTAINS and GOLD-PLATED SCHLOCK. A gaggle of
assorted TRANSFANS are seated in the audience, mixed with some STAR WARS
FANS who thought this was an early preview of "Star Wars Episode III:
George Lucas Wants To Sell More Stuff". Spotlights illuminate the bare
hardwood stage.
As the music fades away, THREE ROBOTS step out from behind the curtains.
They have CONE HEADS and WINGS on their THIGHS. The center robot, colored
BLUE AND GREY, waves to the audience.
DIRGE: Good evening, worms! And WELCOME to the 2001 TRANNIES!
THRUST: Hiya, dipsticks!
RAMJET: Hey, everybody!
[Applause.]
DIRGE: I'm Dirge, and these two bozos are Ramjet and Thrust! And
you germs are lucky enough to have US as your hosts tonight!
THRUST: So no complaining about the jokes, or we'll stick you in a
room with STARSCREAM instead!
[Someone in the audience shouts, "Ohhh, me!"]
RAMJET: There's one in every crowd.
DIRGE (shrugs): No accounting for taste.
THRUST: Geez, Dirge, you're awfully cheery tonight. Did someone
kill an Autobot for ya?
DIRGE: What, can't a 'con be HAPPY once in a while?
RAMJET: Don't knock it, Thrust -- Rob said the only way we could do
the show was if Mr. Gloomy Gus here wasn't so ... gloomy.
So Bombshell gave him a cerebro-virus that reversed his
mood, and here we are.
DIRGE: And boy, it's great to be here!
THRUST: Well ... I admit, at least he ain't as whiney as usual.
DIRGE: WHO'RE YOU CALLING "WHINEY"?!
RAMJET: Hey, he's cheery, not stupid...
------------------------------
The curtains part, revealing a GIANT DISPLAY SCREEN.
DIRGE: This year, the Trannies received ballots from ONE HUNDRED
AND SIXTY-EIGHT voters!
RAMJET: ALL RIGHT!
THRUST: Hey, that's FEWER than last year's.
RAMJET: Yeah, so?
THRUST: So is that something to get excited about?
DIRGE: It beats having ballots from SIX voters.
THRUST: Yeah, but they'd be faster to count.
DIRGE: Anyway, the fans who bothered to send in a ballot this
year are:
Aaron F. Bourque (aaronbourque@aol.com)
AFJsvt (afjsvt@hotmail.com)
Aleph (alephcraven@rocketmail.com)
AlexJ33106 (alexj33106@hotmail.com)
Allan [Weapon X] Liangco (QSBA19A@Prodigy.com)
Alloran (Alloran2@aol.com)
Alpha Trion (Optimus88@aol.com)
Alvaro Carvajal (alvaro@cantv.net)
Andrew Crane (raichu_trainer@totalise.co.uk)
Ann-Marie Coffey (annmarie@oink.co.uk)
Anthony "Tonyfitz" Brucale (tonyfitz@mindspring.com)
Ark-Ivor (pizza@webace.com.au)
AtomBomb (Schmillian@aol.com)
Avias (avs_888@yahoo.com)
AxadayZero (jonpeck@juno.com)
Billy Wade (billywade@care2.com)
blackaricinia (blackaricinia@yahoo.com)
Bobbi Carothers (carother@psych.rochester.edu)
Brandon Williams (bwill@cgocable.net)
Brendocon/Hotdog Divebomb (brendocon@hotmail.com)
Broke (millerresource@aol.com)
Charles "Griml0ck" Calhoun (Grimmy_@portalofevil.com)
Chris McFeely (mark@troy49.freeserve.co.uk)
ciss (cissme1678@aol.com)
Citizen V (BaronZemo13@yahoo.ca)
CLEAZER (cleazer72@yahoo.com)
Computron (Computron@the-axalon.co.uk)
Computron/reyes (reyes11@ufl.edu)
Daniel "Jetfire" Bowman (daniel@e2001.fsnet.co.uk)
Daniel "Suspsy" Suh (danielmsuh@rogers.com)
Daniel Amoedo (DanielAmoedo@hotmail.com)
Daria 'Ratbat' Sigma (udsigma@yahoo.com)
DarkClaw (dkclaw@crosswinds.net)
Darrell Cobb (dfcobb@shaw.ca)
Dave Connell (kfgatri@rcn.com)
David "Bluestreak7" Schulz (MrSWFreak@aol.com)
David "Walkerton" Willis (wiigii@hotmail.com)
Devvi (TheHitman@Devvi.com)
Dexius_R (tyson_a_b@hotmail.com)
dirge (dn202@ncf.ca)
Divefire (divefire@hotmail.com)
DoubleORed (doubleored@hotmail.com)
Doug Kern (douglasskern@earthlink.net)
Eric Schwartz (erics@coax.net)
Eternal097 (mrgoodbytes9@hotmail.com)
Excelon Zero (excelonzero@hotmail.com)
Finback (finback@animail.net)
FlameStrike (flamestrike@ev1.net)
Galenprime (galenprime@aol.com)
GalvaQuake (Bladekitsune@aol.com)
Galvatron (RobVanPrime@aol.com)
Geargrinder (JLMitchell@scu.edu)
George Morgan (Gaihawk@Hotmail.com)
Goktimus Prime (goktimus@lycos.com)
GR Crosscut (gyarados_rage@hotmail.com)
Griffin (griffin@powerup.com.au)
Guyzer 9x (guyzer9x@aol.com)
Heli (heli@durhamlaw.com)
Hellbat (hellbat@innocent.com)
Hooks (hooksx@gte.net)
Hooper_X (emarzero@aol.com)
Iacon (iacon@sympatico.ca)
Infosaur (Infosaur@Juno.com)
jack hurwitz (jack@tfexchange.com)
Jackpot (aquamandible@yahoo.com)
Jen One (TFJenOne@aol.com)
JLvatron (jlvatron@yahoo.com)
Joey (NobleKale14@aol.com)
Joona I Palaste (palaste@cc.helsinki.fi)
Junkman (junkman@netcarrier.com)
Justin Anderson (lande@seidata.com)
Kakarot (m.zeffert@home.com)
Kat (midnightline@yahoo.com)
Kevona (kevonavm@hotmail.com)
Krayt (macove@students.latrobe.edu.au)
LCStarchaser (lcstarchaser@transfactions.com)
Levi Brown (wolfimusprime@hotmail.com)
Lia Brown (rook1@sympatico.ca)
Lightly Salted Craig Little, Sunny Side Up (hinduchilli@yahoo.com)
M Sipher (msipher@mindspring.com)
Magic (egillman@ix.urz.uni-heidelberg.de)
Marc Graham (kryptoo@hotmail.com)
Mardhen "Dai Atlas" Bravo (mdbravo@lycos.com)
Mark "Slade" Ingraham (slade@blackoak.com)
Mart "Kickback" Leuvering (Shrapnel@www.com)
MCat (mercfan@wildmail.com)
Mecha Usagi (sjb44@hotmail.com)
Merytneith (merytneith@earthlink.net)
Metal Vendetta (robleesejones@hotmail.com)
Michelle Carolus (dmcarolus@msn.com)
Mike "Edwin" Boyle (magnus@mc.net)
Mike Watson (cyb@frad.org)
Mirage (MirageTF@hotmail.com)
Morg (morgan.evans@ntlworld.com)
Nate (N_Brown@evilemail.com)
Neil "shivkala" Blumengarten (n_blumeng@hotmail.com)
Nelson "Riptor One" Brewer (Riptor782@aol.com)
NeoWrecker (mindrage@bellsouth.net)
Nightlife (Nightlife@coldhardslag.com)
Noah Carroll (ncarroll@playground.net)
Omega (omega@freedomforcecenter.com)
Optimus (rickyr75@hotmail.com)
OrionPax (dylannagel@hotmail.com)
Ottogunn (Ottogunn@ AOL.com)
Outtie (horsetuna@hotmail.com)
Patrick Wade (patrick.wade@sun.com)
Paul Frawley (y740@hotmail.com)
Paul Segal (asterphage@yahoo.com)
Philip N. Zeman (pzeman@skyjammer.com)
Pluto (M) (plutom@flash.net)
Polaris (polaris_dk@lycos.com)
Prowl Pants (prowlpants@hotmail.com)
Prowl@tfcont (tyrant1100@yahoo.com)
Raksha (Raksha@plumed-serpent.com)
Razorpack (Razorpack@excite.com)
Recharge (recharge138@aol.com)
Red Dragon AuraThunder Ranger Aaron Hong (kaenlee@hotmail.com)
Red Jazz (jawzdeadeye@hotmail.com)
Rick R. Mortis (rickr@ihug.com.au)
Robert Powers (repowers@uwm.edu)
Robert Ranting (robertranting@hotmail.com)
Robowang (Robowang@aol.com)
Rony Tal (Linkage_@hotmail.com)
Rumble (astral_@yahoo.com)
Ryan "Darwinian Raod Kill" Hawe (hryan@netinfo.ubc.ca)
Salt-Man Z (christopherhawks@hotmail.com)
saysadie (shreeps1900@yahoo.ca)
Seawave (jedimasterqui_gonjinn@hotmail.com)
ShadowWing (the_ark@snet.net)
Sharon "Tut" LaBorde (nebkheprura@hotmail.com)
Sheba (shebakoby@hotmail.com)
Shin-Gouki (shun_goku_satsu_@hotmail.com)
Sky Shadow (skye_shadow2@hotmail.com)
Skyflight (Skyflight@Decepticon-Empire.org)
SofaMan (wayne.bickley@spacemoose.com)
Speedbreaker1 (speedbreaker1@yahoo.com)
Spin (spin@hale82.freeserve.co.uk)
Spot (XSpot@hotmail.com)
Starscreamer (StarscreamCSU@aol.com)
Stelartron (Arcee8201@hotmail.com)
Stormy (decepticoncommand@hotmail.com)
Stuart Denyer (denyersarea@yahoo.com)
superspy (sarienx@hotmail.com)
Suzanne M. Ferree (suz@cyberspace)
Synwraith (Synwraith@hotmail.com)
The Critic (the_critic@telus.net)
The Former Master Shrink (MasterShrink@aol.com)
Themis56 (Themis56@aol.com)
Thylacine 2000 (thytwothou@hotmail.com)
Tigerpaw28 (Tigerpaw28@hotmail.com)
TJMD (tjmd@thetransformers.net)
Track Attack (trackattack@hellokitty.com)
Transfuzor (transfuzor1@hotmail.com)
Trixter (trixter_@hotmail.com)
Ty Stalnaker (TyGator@aol.com)
Tyler Ram (blitzwing2g@hotmail.com)
Typhoon (ty@tfuniverse.net)
Uberjet (uberjet@hotmail.com)
ViceGripX (orioneos@sprynet.com)
Vicken (vicken_a@hotmail.com)
Wayne Dunne (welldone_wayne@hotmail.com)
Whirlaway (whirlaway@volcanomail.com)
Windchaser/Cecilia (windchaser@telia.com)
Winterblast (protoman@sympatico.ca)
Wouter de Bruin (angelus@borglabs.demon.nl)
Zobovor (zobovor@aol.com)
Zodiac (0dpvb@qlink.queensu.ca)
Zogster (zogster99@hotmail.com)
THRUST: So how do you explain the drop in voters, anyway?
DIRGE: Iron deficiency.
THRUST: Huh?
RAMJET: Have you SEEN that ballot? It's a f*ckin' endurance
contest!
DIRGE: Not to mention the size of those free-for-all entries...
------------------------------
THRUST: Speaking of those free-for-alls, do we have to sit through
those super-long entries again?
DIRGE: Gee, Thrust, I thought you'd LIKE the idea of shredding an
extra-extra-large entry with your mouth.
THRUST: I do! But I don't wanna be stuck here all night; there's a
new episode of "Spongebob Squarepants" on later.
RAMJET: Get Rumble to record it for ya.
THRUST: RUMBLE? Work a VCR???
RAMJET: You're right, I was being stupid.
THRUST: Whaddayamean, "being"?
RAMJET: HEY!
DIRGE: Don't worry about it! Because tonight, here at the 2001
Trannies, we're going to see the EXCLUSIVE, WORLD-WIDE
PREMIERE of...
[Pause. In the audience, a fanboy shouts, "Star Wars 3!"]
[Ramjet fires his lasers into the audience. The fanboy
gurgles and keels over.]
THRUST: Nice shot.
DIRGE: As I was saying, tonight we're going to see the EXCLUSIVE,
WORLD-WIDE PREMIERE OF...
...THE BUTTON(tm)(R)(c)!
THRUST: "The Button"?
RAMJET: "Tee-em-arr-see"?
DIRGE: No, not "the button," it's ... THE BUTTON(tm)(R)(c)!
[Pause.]
THRUST: I still don't get it.
RAMJET: Me neither.
DIRGE: You two have NO sense of drama.
------------------------------
THRUST: So can we get started already?
DIRGE: You just want to get back to headquarters and see "Spongebob
Squarepants," don't you?
RAMJET: Hey, be glad it ain't "Rugrats".
THRUST: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
DIRGE: Okay, okay! We'll get started after these messages!
THRUST: YEAH!
[Cut to commercials.]
==========================================================================
PART I: CHARACTERS
THRUST: Alright, people! We're back, so let's get going!
DIRGE: In a rush, aren't you?
THRUST: Hey, these things are late enough already...
*** Absolutely the Most Favorite Character of All Time
1 Air Raid
1 Bombshell
1 Devastator
1 Emirate Xaaron
1 Fire Convoy (Car Robots)
1 Frenzy
1 Getaway
1 Gigatron (Car Robots)
2 Ginrai (Masterforce)
1 God Fire Convoy (Car Robots)
1 Groove
1 Inferno (Beast Wars)
1 Megatron (Robots In Disguise)
1 Mindwipe
1 Quickstrike
1 Rescue Roy
1 R.E.V.
1 Sizzle
1 Slapper
1 Speedbreaker
1 Spider-Man (from Transformers #3)
1 Star Saber (Victory)
1 Tigatron
1 Tigerhawk
1 Whirl
1 Wildride (Robots In Disguise)
2 Arcee
2 Bludgeon
2 Carnivac
2 Centurion (from the UK comics)
2 Cheetor
2 Computron
2 Darkscream
2 Death Cobra (Victory)
2 Devil Gigatron (Car Robots)
2 First Aid
2 Gaihawk (Victory)
2 Goryu (Victory)
2 Hound
2 Huffer
2 Jetfire/Skyfire
2 Kickback
2 Metalhawk
2 Metrotitan
2 Mirage (orig.)
2 Motormaster
2 Octane
2 Omega Prime (Robots In Disguise)
2 Optimus Prime (Robots In Disguise)
2 Overlord
2 Scourge (Robots In Disguise)
2 Sideswipe
2 Sky Lynx
2 Skyquake
2 Slayride (from the UK comics)
2 Spinister
2 Tarantulas
2 Warpath
2 Wreck-Gar
2 X-Brawn
3 Beachcomber
3 Blitzwing
3 Cliffjumper
3 Dead End
3 Diagnostic Drone
3 Fireflight
3 Kup
3 Obsidian
3 Punch-Counterpunch
3 Shrapnel
3 Sixshot
3 Star Convoy (Return of Convoy)
3 Swoop
3 Thrust (Vehicon)
3 Thundercracker (orig.)
3 Tracks
3 Unicron
3 Victory Leo (Victory)
4 Bluestreak
4 Ironhide (orig.)
4 Predaking
4 Scourge (orig.)
4 Swindle
4 Ultra Magnus (Robots In Disguise)
5 Death's Head (from the UK comics)
5 Hellbat
5 Ramjet
5 Rumble
5 Snarl (orig.)
6 Leozak (Victory)
6 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
6 Rampage (Beast Wars)
6 Ravage
6 Side Burn
6 Thunderwing
6 Wheeljack
7 Omega Supreme
7 Optimus Primal
8 Mirage (orig.)
9 Blackarachnia
9 Depth Charge
9 Nightbeat
10 Shockwave
11 Rhinox
11 Springer
12 Blaster
12 Cyclonus
12 Ratchet
12 Silverbolt (Beast Wars)
13 Perceptor
15 Bumblebee
15 Skywarp (orig.)
17 Prowl (orig.)
18 Waspinator
22 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
23 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
25 Jazz
25 Sky-Byte
27 Galvatron (orig.)
27 Rattrap
28 Dinobot
29 Megatron (orig.)
35 Soundwave (orig.)
48 Grimlock (orig.)
48 Megatron (Beast Wars)
56 Starscream (orig.)
105 Optimus Prime (orig.)
Optimus Prime, the original, no bloody A, B, C or D!!!
--Seawave
Not Optimus Prime.
--Polaris
I vote Grimlock for his sheer versatility. He's played all over the field
character-wise, from comics to pre-movie cartoon to post-movie cartoon,
but they're all the endearing dim-bulb dino at heart. Of course, maybe I
just like the Captain Caveman talk.
--Eric Schwartz
Sky-Byte won my heart
Laugh at his ineptitude
Silly jellyfish.
--Zobovor
I almost voted for Big Daddy, but my brain threatened to create a nice
little aneurysm if I did. :D
--Windchaser/Cecilia
Blackarachnia is defiently my most favourite character. She is
intelligent, a good fighter and a techie. Even when she became a Maximal
in BW, she retained a mischevious edge that really worked well.
--Doug Kern
Sky Lynx. He's not arrogant. He is every bit as superior to you as he
says he is.
--David "Bluestreak7" Schulz
THRUST: Ooooh, Optimus Prime. Big fat flamin' surprise.
RAMJET: What did you expect from a bunch of Autobot-lovin' humans?
DIRGE: Hey, they can't be all bad -- Starscream and Megatron got
the runners-up spots.
RAMJET: Yeah, but it's that goofball Beast Wars Megatron, he don't
count.
THRUST: Hey, anyone who nukes Optimus Prime's head is okay by me!
------------------------------
*** Favorite Character(s), any Faction(s)
1 Afterburner
1 Astrotrain
1 Barrage
1 Battle Gaea (Operation Combination)
1 Beta (from "Forever is a Long Time Coming")
1 Big Convoy (Beast Wars Neo)
1 Big Powered (Zone)
1 Blades
1 Blitzwing
1 Blood (Masterforce)
1 Blurr
1 Botanica
1 Brainstorm
1 Brave Maximus (Car Robots)
1 Brawn
1 Buzzaw (orig.)
1 Chopshop
1 Chromia (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
1 Clipper (Holi's girlfriend, "Victory")
1 Computron
1 Crosswise
1 Dark Scream
1 Daytonus
1 Death Cobra (Victory)
1 Defcon/Devcon (from "The Gambler")
1 Devil Gigatron (Car Robots)
1 Devil-Z (Masterforce)
1 Dinobot 2
1 Divebomb
1 Dr. Archeville
1 Drancron (Beast Wars Neo)
1 Dreadwind
1 Drillhorn
1 Elita-1 (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
1 Fireflight
1 First Aid
1 Fortress Maximus
1 G. B. Blackrock
1 Gaihawk (Victory)
1 Galvatron (Beast Wars Second)
1 Gears
1 Giga (Masterforce)
1 God Fire Convoy (Car Robots)
1 Goryu (Victory)
1 Grapple
1 Grimlock (Robots In Disguise)
1 Hauler
1 Heavy Load
1 Hightower
1 Hoist
1 Hot Shot
1 Hot Spot
1 Hubcap
1 Hun-Grrr
1 Ironhide (Robots In Disguise)
1 Jhiaxus
1 JRX (Car Robots)
1 Junko (Car Robots)
1 Kakuryu (Victory)
1 Killbison (Victory)
1 King Poseidon (Masterforce)
1 Krok
1 Lord Straxus
1 Mach Alert (Car Robots)
1 Mega (Masterforce)
1 Metrotitan (Zone)
1 Motormaster
1 Nightracer (BotCon '95 exclusive)
1 Nosecone
1 Optimal Optimus
1 Ouickswitch
1 Overkill
1 Overlord
1 Pipes
1 Pointblank
1 Poison Bite
1 Quake
1 Rack 'n Ruin (from the UK comics)
1 Ransack
1 Ratrap
1 Razorclaw
1 Rescue Roy
1 Rev (Robots In Disguise)
1 Ruination
1 Saberback (Beast Wars Neo)
1 Sandstorm
1 Scavenger (Beast Machines)
1 Seaspray
1 Siren
1 Sizzle
1 Skid-Z
1 Skyjack
1 Skyquake
1 Slapper
1 Snare (UK Predator)
1 Soundblaster (Headmasters)
1 Spectro
1 Speedbreaker (Car Robots)
1 Spinister
1 Spittor
1 Squawktalk
1 Star Convoy (Return of Convoy)
1 Strafe
1 Straxus
1 Streetwise
1 Sunstreaker
1 Superion
1 Thunderclash (UK Turbomaster)
1 Tigerhawk
1 Trailbreaker
1 Trypticon
1 Ultra Megatron (Return of Convoy)
1 Venom
1 Victory Leo (Victory)
1 Victory Saber (Victory)
1 Warpath
1 Whirl
1 Windcharger
2 Air Raid
2 Black Convoy (Car Robots)
2 Black Zarak
2 Bombshell
2 Bonecrusher (orig.)
2 Breakdown
2 Centurion (from the UK comics)
2 Chromedome
2 Cliffjumper
2 Clench/Colossus (UK Obliterator)
2 Cryotek
2 Dead End (orig.)
2 Emirate Xaaron
2 Fire Convoy/Super Fire Convoy (Car Robots)
2 Getaway
2 Heinrad (Beast Wars Neo)
2 Huffer
2 Inferno (orig.)
2 Laserbeak
2 Megatron (Robots In Disguise)
2 Mindwipe
2 Misfire
2 Mixmaster
2 Omega Prime
2 Onslaught
2 Optimus Prime (Robots In Disguise)
2 Predaking
2 Prowl (Robots In Disguise)
2 Punch/Counterpunch
2 Ratbat
2 Reflector
2 Roadhandler
2 Runabout
2 Runamuck
2 Scavenger (orig.)
2 Scrapper
2 Shrapnel
2 Sixshot
2 Skids
2 Sludge
2 Super Megatron (Return of Convoy)
2 T-A.I.
2 Thrust (orig.)
2 Wedge
2 Wheelie
2 Wildride
3 Death's Head (from the UK comics)
3 Devastator
3 Diagnostic Drone
3 Dirge
3 Flywheels
3 Gas Skunk
3 Hellbat (Victory)
3 Kickback
3 Leozak (Victory)
3 Lightspeed
3 Long Haul
3 Octane
3 Quickstrike (Beast Wars)
3 Rail Spike
3 Scattershot
3 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
3 Sky Shadow
3 Slag
3 Smokescreen (orig.)
3 Star Saber (Victory)
3 Tankorr
3 Terrorsaur
3 Unicron
3 Wreck-Gar
4 Bluestreak
4 Cheetor
4 Deathsaurus/Deszaras (Victory)
4 Hook
4 Hound
4 Impactor (from the UK comics)
4 Kup
4 Midnight Express
4 Mirage (orig.)
4 Nightbird (from "Enteer the Nightbird")
4 Ramjet
4 Rapid Run
4 Scourge (Robots In Disguise)
4 Sky Lynx
4 Snarl (orig.)
4 Stryka
4 Thunderwing
4 Ultra Magnus (Robots In Disguise)
4 X-Brawn
5 Airazor
5 Ironhide (orig.)
5 Omega Supreme
5 Red Alert
5 Scourge (orig.)
5 Sideswipe (orig.)
6 Jetfire/Skyfire
6 Jetstorm (Beast Machines)
6 Perceptor
6 Swindle
6 Swoop (orig.)
6 Thrust (Beast Machines)
7 Bludgeon
7 Depth Charge
7 Scorponok (orig.)
8 Nightbeat
8 Obsidian (Beast Machines)
8 Ratchet
8 Springer
8 Tigatron
8 Wheeljack
9 Blaster
9 Frenzy (orig.)
9 Silverbolt (Beast Wars)
10 Rumble
11 Optimus Primal
12 Bumblebee/Goldbug
12 Rhinox
12 Side Burn
12 Skywarp (orig.)
13 Cyclonus
13 Prowl (orig.)
13 Ravage
13 Tarantulas
13 Thundercracker
13 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
14 Inferno (Beast Wars)
15 Jazz
15 Shockwave
16 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
17 Blackarachnia
17 Rampage (Beast Wars)
19 Galvatron (orig.)
22 Waspinator
23 Megatron (orig.)
24 Rattrap
24 Sky-Byte
26 Dinobot
26 Grimlock (orig.)
26 Megatron (Beast Wars)
29 Soundwave (orig.)
32 Optimus Prime (orig.)
38 Starscream (orig.)
STARSCREAM!!!!
--Starscreamer
[Well, here's someone who earns their handle.]
Rampage. The hard part is determining which of his two catch phrases is
better: "Is that, *fear*, you're feeling?" or "BLEEEARG REEALGH!!"
--GR Crosscut
Reflector. Yes, you heard me, Reflector.
--Chris McFeely
I suppose, just for the sake of not being monotonous about my Jazz
obsession, that I'll choose Ironhide. He had heart, and was so lovably
gruff I want to pinch his cheeks, if I could.
--Themis56
Leozak (Destron), because it's cool to be teal, damnit!
--George Morgan
Rattrap. I'd give a couple of vital organs just to write some dialogue
for the little smartass.
--DarkClaw
THRUST: WOO! That's one for the 'cons, bay-bee!
RAMJET: HA! (singing) I beat you losers! I beat you losers!
THRUST: Speaking of babies...
DIRGE: Oh, REAL mature, Ramjet.
THRUST: Yeah, nothing says "class" like watching Geekus Maximus here
prance around like a dipstick.
RAMJET: You're just jealous 'cuz I beat you losers!
THRUST: Is it too late to get Starscream instead?
------------------------------
*** Favorite Autobot/Cybertron/Maximal
1 Alpha Trion
1 Beta (from "Forever is a Long Time Coming")
1 Big Convoy (Beast Wars Neo)
1 Catilla
1 Defcon/Devcon (from "The Gambler")
1 Emirate Xaaron
1 Fortress Maximus
1 Gears
1 Greatshot (Victory)
1 Hauler
1 Hoist
1 Huffer
1 Magmatron (Dinobot)
1 Midnight Express
1 Pipes
1 R.E.V. (Robots In Disguise)
1 Road Rocket
1 Roadbuster (orig.)
1 Sandstorm (orig.)
1 Skids
1 Tigerhawk
1 Vroom
1 Wildride
2 Arcee
2 God Fire Convoy (Car Robots)
2 Goldbug
2 Grapple
2 Heinrad (Beast Wars Neo)
2 Impactor (from the UK comics)
2 Landfill
2 Nightviper
2 Rail Spike
2 Scuba (Beast Wars Neo)
2 Seaspray
2 Sizzle
2 Smokescreen
2 Sunstreaker
2 Tasmania Kid (Beast Wars Second)
2 Tigatron
2 Tracks
2 Wheelie
2 Whirl
3 Brawn
3 Break
3 Centurion (from the UK comics)
3 Cliffjumper
3 Computron
3 Fireflight
3 Getaway
3 God Magnus (Car Robots)
3 Hubcap
3 Inferno (orig.)
3 Omega Prime
3 Rescue Roy
3 Silverbolt (orig.)
3 Skid-Z
3 Snarl (Beast Wars)
3 Star Convoy (Return of Convoy)
3 Super God Ginrai (Masterforce)
3 Swoop
3 Victory Saber (Victory)
4 Blurr
5 Punch/Counterpunch
5 Sky Lynx
5 Snarl (orig.)
5 Trailbreaker
5 Warpath
5 X-Brawn
6 Elita-1 (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
6 Fire Convoy (Car Robots)
6 Ginrai/God Ginrai (Masterforce)
6 Hound
6 Optimus Prime (Robots In Disguise)
6 Sideswipe
7 Beachcomber
7 Cheetor
7 Jetfire/Skyfire
8 Bluestreak
8 Kup
9 Blackarachnia
9 Ultra Magnus (Robots In Disguise)
9 Victory Leo (Victory)
9 Wreck-Gar
10 Ironhide (orig.)
11 Star Saber (Victory)
13 Nightbeat
14 Mirage (orig.)
14 Omega Supreme
15 Blaster
16 Depth Charge
16 Springer
17 Bumblebee
17 Side Burn
19 Perceptor
20 Optimus Primal
20 Prowl (orig.)
21 Silverbolt (Beast Wars)
21 Wheeljack
22 Ratchet
22 Rhinox
27 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
29 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
40 Jazz
47 Dinobot
50 Rattrap
86 Grimlock (orig.)
111 Optimus Prime (orig.)
Could have voted Optimus but I'm sure the net crashes due to the sheer
number of votes always comming his way.
--Daniel "Jetfire" Bowman
Pepe le Pew. Er, I mean, Sideburn.
--Thylacine 2000
Big Convoy - On a show for 5 year olds, he was the abusive adult...What in
the hell is wrong with Takara?
--Junkman
Salt Man Z.
--Robowang
I feel that Wheelie deserves some love. The poor lil' guy just gets
lobotomized by a runaway arc welder every year.
--Heli
Bumblebee. Well, yes, I admit, the VW-Beetle is my favorite car. And we
Germans have to stand together!
--Magic
Trailbreaker - the Autobot who made tubby guys feel cool!
--SofaMan
RAMJET: Yeah yeah Optimus Prime blah blah.
THRUST: Well, Grimlock got second, he's pretty badass.
RAMJET: For an Autobot.
DIRGE: Hey, that IS the category...
------------------------------
*** Favorite Decepticon/Destron/Predacon
1 Blot
1 Brawl
1 Crankcase
1 Darkscream
1 Double Dealer
1 Flywheels
1 Gaskunk
1 Kakuryu (Victory)
1 Knokout (from the Micromaster Constructor Squad)
1 Laserbeak
1 Long Haul
1 Megatron (Robots In Disguise)
1 Predaking
1 Quickstrike
1 Scavenger (orig.)
1 Squawktalk
1 Venom
1 Wildrider
2 Black Convoy (Car Robots)
2 Buzzsaw
2 Death Cobra (Victory)
2 Divebomb
2 Dreadwing (G2)
2 Gaihawk (Victory)
2 Goryu (Victory)
2 Jhiaxus
2 Liokaiser (Victory)
2 Lord Straxus
2 Misfire
2 Motormaster
2 Scrapper
2 Sky Shadow
2 Slapper
3 Bruticus (Robots In Disguise)
3 Dirge
3 Frenzy
3 Galvatron (Robots In Disguise)
3 Hellscream (Victory)
3 Hun-Grrr
3 Retrax
3 Shrapnel
3 Skyquake
3 Spinister
3 Tankorr
3 Terrorsaur
3 Ultra Megatron (Return of Convoy)
4 Deathsaurus/Deszaras (Victory)
4 Mindwipe
4 Octane
4 Overlord (Masterforce)
4 Ramjet
4 Scourge (Robots In Disguise)
5 Dead End
5 Devastator
5 Dinobot
5 Obsidian
6 Jetstorm (Beast Machines)
6 Leozak (Victory)
7 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
7 Sixshot
8 Swindle
9 Thunderwing
10 Blitzwing
10 Thrust (Beast Machines)
12 Bludgeon
12 Ravage
12 Scourge (orig.)
14 Gigatron/Devil Gigatron (Car Robots)
14 Rumble
15 Scorponok (orig.)
16 Inferno (Beast Wars)
16 Tarantulas
17 Thundercracker
18 Blackarachnia
25 Rampage (Beast Wars)
26 Cyclonus
30 Skywarp (orig.)
33 Shockwave
46 Galvatron (orig.)
49 Waspinator
59 Soundwave
63 Sky-Byte
74 Megatron (orig.)
97 Starscream (orig.)
102 Megatron (Beast Wars)
I gotta say BW Megs on account of the fact tha he's *way* more diabolical,
cunning, and nasty than ol' Mr. Evil-Scheme-of-the-Week (aka G1 Megs) ever
was.
--Stelartron
Rumble is cute and dumb. Like my brothers.
--Windchaser/Cecilia
Skywarp and Thundercracker get honorable mentions . . . because they'd
kill me in my sleep if I didn't. Gah, this is why I don't work for the
Decepticons. :p
--LCStarchaser
Visor three is weird, and I wouldn't pay full price for him, but in the
discount bin he makes a great super beast to throw around Beast Machines
basics.
--Infosaur
Sky-Byte owns us all. For he's the shark NOW, baby! And he dreams chibi.
--Ryan "Darwinian Raod Kill" Hawe
Bruticus. I know, I know.... but 3 heads, 4 arms, weapons galore.... HE
ROCKS!!!
--Krayt
Some say Shockwave is a dull character but on the other hand, aren't dull
characters great bad guys?
--Devvi
THRUST: Of course! That's why Dirge is so popular!
DIRGE: HEY!
RAMJET: Zingo! Heh heh heh heh heh heh!
------------------------------
*** Favorite Gestalt/Combiner Team
1 Beastbox
1 Darkwing/Dreadwind/Dreadwing
1 Seacons/King Poseidon (Masterforce)
1 Sixturbo (Operation Combination)
2 Combatrons/Baldigus (Car Robots)
2 God Neptune (Beast Wars Second)
2 Grand Slam/Raindance/Slamdance
2 Sixliner (Operation Combination)
2 Sixtrain (Operation Combination)
2 Star Saber/Victory Leo/Victory Sabre (Victory)
3 Flywheels (Duocon)
3 God Fire Convoy (Car Robots)
3 God Ginrai (Masterforce)
3 Reflector
4 Multiforce/Landcross (Victory)
5 Brainmasters/Road Caesar (Victory)
5 Jointron Brothers (Beast Wars Second)
7 Dinoforce/Dinoking (Victory)
9 Tripredacus
13 Magnaboss
13 Terrorcons/Abominus
14 Optimus Prime/Ultra Magnus/Omega Prime
14 Trainbots/Raiden (Headmasters)
16 Pretender Monsters/Monstructor
20 Seacons/Piranacon
25 Commandos/Ruination
26 Breastforce/Liokaiser (Victory)
49 Protectobots/Defensor
51 Stunticons/Menasor
52 Build King (Car Robots)/Landfill (Robots In Disguise)
53 Technobots/Computron
60 JRX (Car Robots)/Rail Racer (Robots In Disguise)
62 Aerialbots/Superion
101 Predacons/Predaking
102 Combaticons/Bruticus
175 Constructicons/Devastator
Any team that has Mixmaster and Scavenger (G1) in it is gonna get points
from me. They could be Scavenger, Mixmaster, Nightscream, Scrappy-Doo and
Sailor Moon combining to form a desk lamp, but they'll still get the
points for those two lovable twerps.
--Rick R. Mortis
Just when the whole combiner shtick was on the verge of becoming stale,
Wedge and the boys bring something new and fresh to the table: complete
and utter ineptitude! Woo-Hoo!
--Iacon
Landcross is the ulimate combiner, period. With 60+ combinations and a
final super robot, how can you go wrong? So what if the little robots suck
individually?
--Anthony "Tonyfitz" Brucale
Ruination has the coolest name. It's the name that gets him a vote.
--Aaron F. Bourque
A close one between the Railracer and the Preadking, but Flywheels
wins.... Simply because no-one else would vote for him here.
--Krayt
Tripredacus deserves some respect. Sure, he was weird and gangly, but at
least he could stand up in more than one pose, unlike some combiners I
could name *cough*Magnaboss*cough*
--Heli
Computron. There's just something about having the five most violent,
heavily armed Autobots ever combine into one big geek that appeals to me.
--Avias
THRUST: Hey, what do you call it when a bunch of geeks get together
and combine into one big geek?
DIRGE: BotCon?
RAMJET: They don't combine into one big geek.
DIRGE: Have you SEEN some of those guys?
THRUST: Somebody's gonna get it...
------------------------------
*** Favorite Non-Combining Subteam
1 Autobot Medics (Perceptor/Ratchet/Wheeljack)
1 Decepticon Cyberjets
1 Defcon/Devcon and Slizardo (from "The Gambler")
1 Dreadwing and Smokescreen (G2 bomber)
1 Hot Rod Patrol
1 Powermasters
1 Sharkticons
1 Small Targetmasters
1 Stormtroopers
1 Transmetal 2s
1 Vokk emissaries (Tigatron/Airazor/Tigerhawk/Primal Prime)
2 Autobot Targetmasters
2 Cyber-Raptors (from "Cutting Edge")
2 Cybertron Junior Headmasters
2 Cybertron Pretenders (Masterforce)
2 Cyborg Beasts (Beast Wars Second)
2 Flipchangers
2 Fuzors
2 Helicopter Vehicon drones
2 Junkions
2 Mayhem Attack Squad
2 Micromaster Rescue Force (Victory)
2 Micromaster Super Car Patrol
2 Motorcycle Vehicon drones
2 Quintessons
2 Rotorcons
2 Shockwave's guard drones
2 Transmetals
2 Turbomasters
3 Autobot Cars
3 Bumblebee and Spike
3 Clones
3 Cybertron Godmasters (Victory)
3 Deployers
3 Destron Pretenders
3 Dirge/Ramjet/Thrust
3 Duocons
3 Jet Vehicon drones
3 Laser Rods
3 Micromaster Battle Patrol
3 Monsterbots (orig.)
3 Scourge and the Sweeps
3 Stryka and Obsidian
3 Triple Changers
4 Cyberjets
4 Mayhem Attack Squad (orig.)
5 Mayhem Attack Squad (2nd version; Bludgeon/Octopunch/Stranglehold)
5 Predators
5 Triggerbots/Triggercons
5 Unicron-created Decepticons (Galvatron, Scourge, Cyclonus, Sweeps)
5 Wreckers (BotCon)
6 Female Autobots
6 Mach Alert/Speedbreaker/Wildride (Car Robos)
6 Mutant Beasts
6 Omnibots
7 Autobot Minicars/Minibots
7 Commandos/Scourge ("Robots in Disguise" Decepticons)
7 Decepticon Triple Changers
7 Dinobots (Beast Machines)
7 Horrorcons
7 Sparkabots
9 Battlechargers
9 Jumpstarters
9 Pretenders
10 Cassettes
10 Micromasters
10 Vehicons
10 Wreckers (orig.)
13 Throttlebots
14 Prowl/Side Burn/X-Brawn (Autobot Brothers)
17 Targetmasters
20 Decepticon Jets ("Seekers")
24 Headmasters
32 Dark Scream/Gas Skunk/Slapper ("Robots in Disguise" Predacons)
35 Decepticon Cassettes
36 Spychangers
36 Wreckers (all versions)
61 Insecticons
282 Dinobots (orig.)
Dinobots, Dinobots! A thousand times the Dinobots!
--Daria 'Ratbat' Sigma
Wreckers (Botcon Comic). I wonder who else considers this a team and will
actually vote for it?
--David "Bluestreak7" Schulz
The Wreckers (Original version, not that Botcon comic thing)
--Morg
Horrorcons (G1/Headmasters). Triplechangers, Headmasters, and powerful
robo beasts. Can't get much better.
--Nelson "Riptor One" Brewer
Slapper, Gas Skunk, Darkscream. These guys need to move in with Statler &
Waldorf.
--Thylacine 2000
I figure if they released those Slapper, Gas Skunk, and Dark Scream as a
boxed set, they're a team. Besides, they're like the transforming three
stooges.
--Heli
The Destronger Moron Squad
--Vicken
(BW Neo) Thoroughbred Squadron. I think that's the right title for them;
Mach Kick's sub-group.
--Whirlaway
Hey, R.E.V.! What's the hand signal for "McGuffin"?
--Iacon
The Squidforce. Claw Jaw, Ikard, and TM Clawjaw. Also, the Takotank.
All must fear the cuttlefish terror from the deep.
--Hooper_X
THRUST: SQUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID FORCE!
RAMJET: It's Suicide Squid!
DIRGE: Y'know, nobody but Dave Van Domelen's gonna get that one.
------------------------------
*** Favorite Non-Toy Character
1 Alligator Sharkticons (from "Transformers: The Movie")
1 Artemis (Beast Wars Second)
1 Autobot X (from "Autobot Spike")
1 Decepticon Car Drones (from "Make Tracks")
1 Donny Finklebeerg/Robot Master
1 G. B. Blackrock
1 Llyra (from the Headmaster comics)
1 Marissa Fairbourne
1 "O" (friend of Buster Witwicky)
1 Rotorbolt (BotCon version)
1 Seizer (from the UK comics)
1 Sinker
1 Scuzzoid (third-season pig-lizard alien)
1 Spanner
1 Susan Hoffman (from the UK comics)
1 Ultra Megatron (Return of Convoy)
2 Carly Witwicky
2 Centurion (from the UK comics)
2 Clipper (Holi's girlfriend, "Victory")
2 Dr. Archeville
2 Dr. Onishi
2 Hopper (from the UK comics)
2 Legionis (from the UK comics)
2 Minerva (plainclothes version)
2 Octus (from the UK comics)
2 Primus
2 Quake (BotCon 2001 version)
2 Scraplets
2 Snake (fom "Only Human")
2 The Last Autobot
3 Armada (from "Transformers: The Movie")
3 Devil-Z (Masterforce)
3 Emusa/Zone Bunny (Zone)
3 Floating Megatron Head (Beast Machines)
3 Ginrai (plainclothes version)
3 Laserbeak (Cybertronian form)
3 Lord Chumley (from "Prime Target")
3 Lord Zarak
3 Moonracer (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
3 Slayride (from the UK comics)
3 Soundwave's cassette drone (from "A Prime Problem")
3 "Sparkplug" Witwicky
3 Super Megatron (Return of Convoy)
3 The Mechanic
3 Transmetal Fractyl (BotCon '97 exclusive)
4 Rack 'n Ruin (from the UK comics)
5 Arblus (from "Transformers: The Movie")
5 Buster Witwicky
5 Chip Chase
5 Firestar (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
5 Kranix
5 Spike Witwicky
6 Beta (from "Forever is a Long Time Coming")
6 Cindy Newell (from the UK comics)
6 Death Cobra (Victory)
6 Kelly (Robots In Disguise)
6 Scrounge (from Transformers #18)
6 Teletran-1
7 Koji (Robots In Disguise)
7 Rook (G2)
8 Kremzeek! (from "Kremzeek!")
8 Lord Straxus
9 Vokk aliens
10 Circuit Breaker
11 Quintessons
13 Transmutate (from "Transmutate")
17 Chromia
24 T-A.I. (Robots In Disguise)
25 Diagnostic Drone
25 Impactor (from the UK comics)
26 Botanica
26 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
28 Elita-1 (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
31 Death's Head (from the UK comics)
34 Emirate Xaaron
45 Alpha Trion/A3
47 Defcon/Devcon (from "The Gambler")
56 Jhiaxus
124 Unicron
Unicron was, there was something about him. He was a giant transformer
that ate planets, it was just an awesome idea, even if he was a big dumb
plot device.
--Mike Watson
Hey! No one can vote Arcee here anymore. :) She's been released at
Botcon now. :)
--Kat
[That didn't stop them from trying...]
Emirate Xaaron managed to unite the Autobots on Cybertron against a
strong, dominant Decepticon force led by a guy so badass he could command
the 'Cons from a fishbowl, he got to order the Wreckers around, got
sarcastic with his troops, and commanded even Optimus Prime's respect.
And he came up to, like, Impactor's waist. Short little guy, hardcore
Autobot leader.
--Trixter
I vote for each member of the Autobot Chick Squad!
--Merytneith
[And from the "REALLY random characters" pile...]
That female Junkion from "The Big Broadcast of 2002"!
--Joey
Unicron's Head (as seen in BW: Other Voices, p1)
--Razorpack
Giant unnamed Autobot Hologram that Prowl made to fool Devastator
--Mark "Slade" Ingraham
Teletran One count?
--ShadowWing
DIRGE: Yeah, but only up to six.
RAMJET: *GROAN*...
------------------------------
*** Best Character Name
1 B'Boom
1 Blackout
1 Bluestreak
1 Charlie Chopper
1 Clench
1 Elita-1
1 Great Cannon
1 Groundpounder
1 Hightower
1 JRX
1 Mach Kick
1 Nightscream
1 "O"
1 Pipes
1 R.E.V.
1 Rail Racer
1 Razorclaw
1 Road Caesar
1 Road Fire
1 Robot-Man X
1 Sabreback
1 Scrapper
1 Slapper
1 Soundblaster
1 Sparkstalker
1 Stormcloud
1 Super Fire Convoy
2 Alpha Trion
2 Blastcharge
2 Blurr
2 Carnivac
2 Catilla
2 Counter Arrow
2 Cryotek
2 Dai Atlas
2 Daytonus
2 Eagle Killer
2 Gas Skunk
2 Hound
2 Huffer
2 Jaxhus
2 Jetstorm
2 Menasor
2 Metroplex
2 Midnight Express
2 Mindwipe
2 Mirage
2 Nightviper
2 Onslaught
2 Optimus Primal
2 Perceptor
2 Policeman Pete
2 Rack 'N Ruin
2 Rippersnapper
2 Robot-Man Z
2 Rollbar
2 Sky-Byte
2 Spacepunch
2 Steeljaw
2 Strikedown
2 Superion
2 Thrust
2 Tracks
2 Vanquish
2 W.A.R.S.
2 Wedge
2 Wind Sheer
2 Wreck-Gar
2 Zigzag
3 Battle Gaia
3 Black Zarak
3 Blaster
3 Brave Maximus
3 Cloudraker
3 Deathsaurus
3 Devil Gigatron
3 Devil Zarak
3 Downshift
3 Fireshot
3 Gears
3 Gigatron
3 Gingham
3 Ironhide
3 Jetfire
3 Knockout
3 Kup
3 Landfill
3 Liege Maximo
3 Liokaiser
3 Long Haul
3 Lord Chumley
3 Motard
3 Nightbird
3 Octopunch
3 Orion Pax
3 Primus
3 Ravage
3 Scattershot
3 Shokaract
3 Shrapnel
3 Sinnertwin
3 Sky Garry
3 Skyfire
3 Slayride (from the UK comics)
3 Sunspot
3 Tailgate
3 Targethawk
3 Victory Leo
3 Windcharger
3 X-Brawn
4 Astrotrain
4 Big Convoy
4 Blackarachnia
4 Bludgeon
4 Bumblebee
4 Fortress Maximus
4 Hellbat
4 Leozak
4 Predaking
4 Rattrap
4 Wheeljack
5 Blitzwing
5 Bruticus
5 Crosswise
5 Death's Head
5 Dirge
5 Nightbeat
5 Omega Prime
5 Side Burn
5 Skullcruncher
5 Spinister
5 Windbreaker
6 Cliffjumper
6 Jhiaxus
6 Prowl
6 Rescue Roy
6 Thundercracker
7 God Fire Convoy
7 Overlord
7 Rodimus Prime
7 Silverbolt
8 Devastator
8 Scourge
8 Unicron
9 Depth Charge
10 Hot Rod
10 Obsidian
10 Sideswipe
10 Thunderwing
11 Galvatron
11 Inferno
11 Rampage
11 Soundwave
12 Shockwave
12 Skywarp
13 Speedbreaker
18 Big Daddy
20 Jazz
22 Cyclonus
23 Ruination
25 Grimlock
29 Ultra Magnus
30 Megatron
32 Starscream
35 Omega Supreme
76 Optimus Prime
Optimus Prime: It's Latin 'kay? And it means "The First And The Best"
which pretty much summarises him perfectly.
--Rick R. Mortis
Megatron sounds like an epithet of Zeus. Hey, the Romans have their
Iuppiter Optimus Maximus - so, Autobots, keep the Roman and let the Greek
pantheon to the Decepticons!
--Magic
Big Daddy. There is no second or third, well maybe, but Big Daddy is so
far ahead you can't see them from here.
--Broke
All combiner forms need names like that. RUINATION. Wow. He doesn't just
ruin stuff, HE IS RUIN. Hot damn.
--M Sipher
"Skullcruncher" just sounds so frightening. Imagine naming a My Little
Pony "Skullcruncher".
--Joona I Palaste
Eagle Killer. I say it again, Eagle Killer. Once more for cadence, Eagle
Killer.
--Ryan "Darwinian Raod Kill" Hawe
Say "Groundpounder" out loud...it's so much fun!
--Salt-Man Z
C'mon, it's fun to say. "B'boom! B'boom!"
--Finback
Silllverbolt. Just say it. It sounds so nice, especially when doing a bad
imitation of Venus Terzo.
--Eric Schwartz
DIRGE: Do I DARE ask why a guy named "Eric" would be doing a Venus
Terzo imitation?
RAMJET: Don't go there.
THRUST: Oh, THANKS, Dirge! Now I'll never be able to read "Sabrina
Online" in the same way again...
------------------------------
*** Worst Character Name
1 Autobot (G2 Watch)
1 Blowpipe
1 Blurr
1 Charlie Chopper
1 Dark Scream
1 Discharge
1 Fangry
1 Hot Rodimus
1 J4
1 K-9
1 Mach Alert
1 Midnight Express
1 Minelba
1 Mixmaster
1 Motormaster
1 Octane
1 Primus
1 Quickswitch
1 Rapido
1 Ratchet
1 Rattrap
1 Rumble
1 Skyfire
1 Slizardo (from "The Gambler")
1 Sunstreaker
1 T-A.I.
1 Thundercracker
1 Tigerhawk
1 Tow-Line
1 Wedge
2 Blackarachnia
2 Bugly
2 Build Boy
2 Bump
2 Cancer
2 Cosmos
2 Dirge
2 Grapple
2 Hauler
2 Hubcap
2 J7
2 Line
2 Loafer
2 Omega Prime
2 Optimus Prime
2 Pipes
2 Policeman Pete
2 Primal Prime
2 Prowl
2 Ratbat
2 Rotor
2 Skywarp
2 Slag
2 Slapdash
2 Smokescreen
2 Sparkle (Spike Witwicky, Singapore dub)
2 Transmutate
2 T-Wrecks
2 Warpath
2 Wheeljack
2 Wideload
2 Wipe
2 Zetoca
3 Artfire
3 B.B.
3 Baldigus/Vuldigus (Car Robots)
3 Blot
3 Bruticus
3 Catilla
3 Che
3 Dillo
3 Geckobot
3 Goldbug
3 Hot Rod
3 Huffer
3 J5
3 Motard
3 Omega Supreme
3 Optimus Minor
3 R.E.V.
3 Ramjet
3 Rescue Roy
3 Rhino (McDonalds Happy Meal toy)
3 Rhinox
3 Shokaract
3 Silverbolt
3 Skids
3 Slingshot
3 Sludge
3 "Sparkplug" Witwicky
3 Tasmanian Kid
3 Wreck-Gar
4 Arcee
4 B'Boom
4 Deathsarus/Deszarus
4 Dirtbag
4 Lord Jhiaxus
4 R.E.V.
4 Springer
4 Thrust
5 Beast Changer
5 Cement Head
5 Hun-Grrr
5 Insecticon
5 Skidmark
5 Skid-Z
5 Stinkbomb
6 Optimal Optimus
6 Tigatron
6 Ultra Magnus
6 Windcharger
7 Bumblebee
7 Green Jeeper/Greejeeper
7 Hardhead
7 Kup
7 Rodimus Prime
7 Sky-Bite
8 Daytonus
8 Optimus Primal
8 Road Pig
8 Vroom
8 W.A.R.S.
8 Wind Breaker
9 Erector
9 Joe
9 Mega-Octane
9 Megatron
10 Landfill
11 Big Daddy
11 Dinobot
11 Gas Skunk
11 Gobots
15 Starscream
16 Prowl 2
18 Drillnuts
18 Slapper
19 Tankorr
20 X-Brawn
23 Waspinator
25 Side Burn
27 Battle Unicorn
27 Wheelie
35 Ro-Tor
47 Movor
59 Cheetor
65 Windbreaker
WindBreaker? He must be the one who lives alone... and down wind.
--Noah Carroll
Baldigus/Vuldigus. Ewwwwww.....
--Kakarot
Landfill. Land*slide* would be a far better name for a juggernaut,
evoking a force of nature (hell, some of his Japanese members were named
Hurricane and Typhoon). As is, he evokes a dump.
--Finback
[And let's not ask what KIND of a dump he is, folks...]
Beast Changer because that's a no-name.
--Alvaro Carvajal
Can I just say, "All the Nebulon Targetmasters/Headmasters" here? With
only one or two exceptions, like Xarak, their names are really corny for
organic beings to have...
--Kevona
"Battle Unicorn"? Whatever next? "Combat Gorilla"? "Fightin' T-Rex"?
--Joona I Palaste
Ro-Tor and Movor are both horrible, but Ro-Tor takes the cake because of
that stupid hyphen. I mean, "rotor" is an actual WORD. There's no pun or
tricky spelling involved here, and it makes SENSE since the guy's a
helicopter. But NO. He's not just Rotor, he's Ro-TOR. Which makes the
person who named him a Re-TARD.
--Zobovor
Special thanks to RiD for making this category easier to answer!
--Sharon "Tut" LaBorde
RAMJET: Well, Swindle got lucky -- he got a non-sucky name like
"Rollbar," instead of something stupid like "Movor."
DIRGE: I don't think luck had anything to do with it.
THRUST: Why not?
DIRGE: Because if I were Swindle, I'd slip a few astrocredits into
the name-guy's bank account to make SURE I got a good name.
THRUST: "Rollbar" isn't THAT good.
DIRGE: Still beats "Movor".
------------------------------
*** Character You Most Want to Be Friends With
1 Airazor
1 B.B. (Beast Wars Second)
1 Beachcomber
1 Blackarachnia
1 Blood (Masterforce)
1 Breakdown
1 Build Boy (Car Robots)
1 Chromedome
1 Circuit Breaker
1 Cliffjumper
1 Deathcobra (Victory)
1 Deathsarus/Deszaras (Victory)
1 Fortress Maximus
1 Gears
1 Grimlock (Beast Wars)
1 Hi-Q
1 Hoist (orig.)
1 Hubcap
1 Ironhide
1 Kelly (Robots In Disguise)
1 Onslaught
1 Optimus Primal
1 Optimus Prime (Robots In Disguise)
1 Pipes
1 Rack 'n Ruin (from the UK comics)
1 Raul
1 Ravage
1 Rescue Roy
1 Roller
1 Silverbolt (Beast Wars)
1 Skid-Z
1 Starscream (orig.)
1 Swoop
1 Thrust (Beast Machines)
1 Thundercracker
1 Tracks
1 Unnamed purple Decepticon Seeker
1 Wheelie
1 Wheeljack
1 Wildride
2 Blaster
2 Dinobot
2 Gigatron (Car Robots)
2 Jetfire/Skyfire (orig.)
2 Leozak (Victory)
2 Nightbeat
2 Perceptor
2 Ratchet
2 Shockwave
2 Sky-Byte
2 Springer
2 Tigatron
2 X-Brawn
3 Galvatron (orig.)
3 Megatron (Beast Wars)
3 Optimus Prime (orig.)
3 Rhinox
3 Sideswipe
3 Skids
3 Sky Lynx
3 Soundwave
4 Bumblebee
4 Grimlock (orig.)
5 Hound
5 Unicron
5 Waspinator
6 Rattrap
8 Side Burn
9 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
10 Jazz
Jazz - although people might think I was nuts arguing with my car over
what CD to play.
--Dave Connell
Rack'n'Ruin. Hey, two friends for the price of one! Top deal!
--Mart "Kickback" Leuvering
Tracks, because he'd be a cool car to drive around and the flight mode
would save me from traffic jams. Naturally I'd disconnect his vocal
circuits or totally reprogramme him so that he's not such a dweeb.
--Goktimus Prime
Side Burn. He'll take the red sports car, I'll take Kelly.
--David "Walkerton" Willis
Sky Lynx. The best way to curb one's ego is to have a friend with an even
bigger one.
--Daniel "Suspsy" Suh
Hot Rod. He's simply cool. Problem is, Daniel is always around.
--Alvaro Carvajal
Pipes! Heart of a Stuff Hunter, that boy.
--Daria 'Ratbat' Sigma
RAMJET: Jazz? Who'd want to be friends with that wuss?
DIRGE: Oh, I think Jazz is the perfect choice.
THRUST: Why's that?
DIRGE: Because the guy's a pushover -- so he's cool enough so you
won't feel like a dork for hanging with him, but he's
enough of a wimp to go along with whatever you want to do.
THRUST: I LIKE that! A cool friend for you to abuse!
------------------------------
*** Character You Most Want to Be Lovers(!) With
1 Astoria Carlton-Ritz (from "The Girl Who Loved Powerglide")
1 Bluestreak
1 Depth Charge
1 Dinobot
1 Carissa Carr/Ethel Stankiewicz (from Transformers #45)
1 Fortress Maximus
1 Galvatron (Beast Wars Second)
1 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
1 Leozak (Victory)
1 Martia (Gort's girlfriend, from the Headmasters comic)
1 Megatron (Beast Wars)
1 Mirage (orig.)
1 Moonracer (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
1 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
1 Punch/Counterpunch
1 Rescue Roy
1 Scylla (Beast Wars Second)
1 Side Burn
1 Springer
1 Starscream (orig.)
1 Thundercracker
1 Tigatron
1 Twin Twist
1 Victory Leo (Victory)
2 Airazor
2 Circuit Breaker
2 Deathsaurus/Deszarus (Victory)
2 Jazz
2 Marissa Fairbourne
2 Megatron (orig.)
2 Optimus Prime (orig.)
2 Prowl (orig.)
2 Rapture
2 Silverbolt (Beast Wars)
2 The Baroness
2 Ultra Magnus (Robots In Disguise)
4 Arcee
4 Dr. Biggles-Jones
4 Junko (Car Robots)/Kelly (Robots In Disguise)
4 Minerva (Masterforce)
6 T-A.I.
7 Carley Witwicky
22 Blackarachnia
Blackarachnia (8 Arms, no waiting!)
Ummm ... next question, please!
The-Girl-who-love-Powerglide. Hey, if she could fall for a loudmouth like
him, I'd be perfect!
Arcee. Only because Airazor had no personality and Blackarachnia would
probably kill me after sex.
This question is, as always, HIGHLY FREAKING INAPPROPRIATE!!!
[That's the whole point! B-]
A college-age Minerva.
You just know some people are going to put down Minerva and T-Ai for this,
gross as that is.
T-Ai. So cute, so functional, so Japanese!
...Seek help
Rescue Roy. Since he'll put out the red stuff with the wet stuff
*waw-chicka-waw-waw*
We're just good friends. Really. She's more into miniva...uh, never mind.
How do questions like this get on here?
[Through the service entrance.]
Optimus Prime ... He was my high school honey ... Ohh those eyes ... That
*voice* ... sigh ... swoon ... THUD!
None. Given that most of the females in the TF universe 1) could step on
me 2) eat me after any romantic contact or 3) are probably part poison
ivy, the romantic possibilities are severely limited.
[What makes you think this is ONLY in the TF universe?]
Answer this Question? I don't think so.
Forget Blackarachnia, Kelly's the most bootylicious babe in TF history!
Those shimmering purple eyes, that hip green hair, that Playmate body,
that sexy voice, and that kinky lil' rootin' n' tootin' cowgirl outfit she
wears. Yeeeeeeeha! We'll both get lucky, baby!
Fortress Maximus!!! Everyone complains about the Transformers being too
"Big".... So think about a way to make that work....
That's not right.
Thundercracker. Hello there handsome! Want to join the Mile High Club? I
can only imagine how much thrust you must have...Let me put you through
your paces, I can even do it inverted. I'm gentle but firm with the stick
and I know how to keep it up all day...What? I'm a /pilot/, I'm talking
about his jet mode. What were you sickos thinking about?
Ew. Ew ew ew ew ew ew. Someone submit this category for brunching.com's
Geek Hierarchy.
[And from the ever-popular "naked lust" pile:]
Jazz. Definitely Jazz. The 'bot's voice is dead sexy, and his visor...
woo! One eye; paging Dr. Freud. But really, lust aside, the guy has great
character. Cheerful, sympathetic, not obnoxious, and he has style.
--Themis56
RiD Magnus, baby. He's such a bad, bad boy. But I can change him! I
know I can! Only my love can bring out his inner Autobot goodness! Oh,
the angst!
--Bobbi Carothers
This is a pointless question. This is totally pointless. All this does is
to serve as an insparation to lame fanfic authours and their lame Mary Sue
avarats who are the One True Love (TM) of some chracter who it doesn't
even make sense that they're the One True Love (TM) of... This leads to
such uckky issues as TF's having sex (eww) and so on... It's really sad
and pointless. And lame beoyond words. All that being said: Airazor,
especially her TM form.
--Rick R. Mortis
Twin Twist. 2 Whole shafts!
--Lightly Salted Craig Little, Sunny Side Up
Y'know, if I'd read this properly, I'd know that this was the characters
not the toys right from the start, and my collection wouldn't be ruined
and in various states of die-cast shock from my research.
--Daria 'Ratbat' Sigma
THRUST: Hey, doesn't anyone want to get down with THRUST?
RAMJET: Hell no!
DIRGE: Don't make me hurt you...
------------------------------
*** Character You Most Want To Lobotomize With a Runaway Arc Wielder
1 Beachcomber
1 Blackarachnia
1 Circuit Breaker
1 Donny Finkelberg/Robot Master
1 Emusa/Zone Bunny (Zone)
1 Jetstorm (Beast Machines)
1 Kelly (Robots In Disguise)
1 Marissa Fairbourne
1 Neanderthal children (Beast Wars)
1 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
1 "O" (friend of Buster Witwicky)
1 Perceptor
1 Rampage (Beast Wars)
1 Rattrap
1 Rumble
1 Scorponok (orig.)
1 Seaspray
1 Slingshot
1 Slog
1 Spike Witwicky
1 T-A.I.
1 Tigatron
1 Trypticon
1 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
1 Waspinator
2 Arcee
2 Blurr
2 Brawn
2 Bumblebee
2 Galvatron (orig.)
2 Grimlock (orig.)
2 Optimus Prime (orig.)
2 Quickstrike (Beast Wars)
2 Silverbolt (Beast Wars)
2 Sky-Byte
2 The Mechanic
2 Unicron
3 Cheetor
3 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
3 Megatron (orig.)
3 Scourge (Robots In Disguise)
3 Tow-Line
4 Optimus Primal
4 Starscream (orig.)
4 Wedge
5 Daniel Witwicky
5 Megatron (Beast Wars)
5 Gigatron (Car Robots)/Megatron (Robots In Disguise)
5 Side Burn
7 Koji
9 Nightscream
27 Wheelie
Wheelie. MAKE THE PAIN STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY IS HE STILL
TALKING!?
--Mike Watson
T-AI (RiD), the MOST annoying thing ever to come for the Transformers
Universe. She even gives Wheelie a run for the title.
--Kakarot
Perceptor. I don't know why, It'd just be funny.
--Galvatron
BM Optimus Primal. Vector Sigma says to jump off this cliff *AHHHH!* We
must defend organic life because we are a technological species. Whine
whine whine. And now for my battle strategy: Run Away! Run Away!
--Geargrinder
BW Rampage. Though I guess that kinda already happened. Twice.
--Bobbi Carothers
Wedge (and the rest of the Build Team). They're already stupid and
pointless. The RiD Autobots already have a combiner team! Why why why do
we need an inexperienced one made up of non-combatants, and led by someone
who must have gotten into the ranks because his recruiter was hittin' the
sauce a bit too hard?
--Aaron F. Bourque
The person who decided to kill everyone in the movie, then place season 3
in 2005!
--Infosaur
DIRGE: Hey, Wedge is a VERY important part of the Autobot team!
RAMJET: How's that?
DIRGE: He's there to make the rest of them look good.
THRUST: Ooooh, now that IS a tough trick.
------------------------------
*** Most Annoying Character
1 Botanica
1 Buster Witwicky
1 Diagnostic Drone
1 Emusa/Zone Bunny (Zone)
1 Gears
1 Laserbeak
1 Lio Junior (Beast Wars Second)
1 Midnight Express
1 Motormaster
1 Scrapper
1 Thunderwing
1 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
1 Weirdwolf
1 Wheeljack
2 Beachcomber
2 Build Boy (Car Robots)
2 Gregory (from "Return of Optimus Prime")
2 Hellbat (Victory)
2 Highbrow
2 Ironhide
2 Jazz
2 Jesse (Buster's girlfriend, from the comic book series)
2 Omega Prime
2 Primal Prime
2 Prowl (orig.)
2 Red Alert
2 Savage/Noble
2 Scuzzoid (third-season pig-lizard alien)
2 Shockwave
2 Slingshot
2 Soundwave (orig.)
2 Stampy (Beast Wars Second)
2 Sweeps
2 Tracks
3 Cloudburst
3 Megatron (Beast Wars)
3 Minerva (Masterforce)
3 Moon (Beast Wars Second)
3 "O" (friend of Buster Witwicky)
3 Ratbat
3 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
3 Terrorsaur
3 Thrust (orig.)
3 Tigatron
3 Trypticon
4 Astoria Carlton-Ritz (from "The Girl Who Loved Powerglide")
4 Cyclonus
4 Fangry
4 Frenzy
4 Neanderthal children (Beast Wars)
4 Quickstrike (Beast Wars)
4 Ultra Magnus (Robots In Disguise)
4 Warpath
4 Wreck-Gar
5 Carly Witwicky
5 Jetstorm (Beast Machines)
5 Junko (Car Robots)/Kelly (Robots In Disguise)
5 Kup
6 Blackarachnia
6 Blaster
6 Circuit Breaker
6 Jan/Mikon (Victory)
6 Rumble
6 Scourge (Robots In Disguise)
6 Waspinator
7 Bumblebee
7 Megatron (orig.)
7 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
7 Optimus Prime (orig.)
8 Blurr
8 Galvatron (orig.)
8 Seaspray
8 The Mechanic
8 Tow-Line
9 Arcee
9 Rattrap
9 Sky-Byte (Robots In Disguise)
9 T-A.I.
10 Donny Finkleberg/Robot Master
10 Grimlock (orig.)
10 Spike Witwicky
11 Huffer
11 Silverbolt (Beast Wars)
13 Cheetor
13 Optimus Primal
16 Side Burn
16 Starscream (orig.)
18 Koji
18 Wedge
23 Megatron (Robots In Disguise)
28 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
75 Nightscream
89 Daniel Witwicky
202 Wheelie
Wheelie, can i put him down two more times?
--GalvaQuake
I'd just like to send all the Wheelie-bashers out there a great, big
*Pbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpb!*(rasberry) =P courtesy of yours truly. Leave the
poor kid alone, will ya?
--Stelartron
Nightbird. Calling it a character is a strech, but the thing has been now
so over exposed in the fandom that I just want it to be thrown in front of
a bus.
--Doug Kern
I'll never understand why Nightscream doesn't beat out Wheelie in this
category. Wheelie's friendly, loyal, courageous, and skilled----he once
shot a Sweep in the FACE, for cryin' out loud! By contrast, Guanoboy is a
snotty, stuck-up, inconsiderate little annoying prick with a crappy toy
and a face so ugly it would give Dick Cheney his fifth and final heart
attack.
--Daniel "Suspsy" Suh
Sideburn's sex drive.
--dirge
Wrecker Arcee, who sat around for god knows how many years moping. Then
goes all goth. Then finally gets it together enough to almost get left
behind.
--Finback
Face it, Rob. No matter what, you *know* the same three characters are
going to take the top three every year. Why do you even bother asking
anymore?
--superspy
RAMJET: Because he's nuts?
THRUST: Hey, he runs the Trannies; that PROVES he's not all there to
begin with.
------------------------------
*** The Swiss Army Bot Award, for the most versatile/adaptable
Transformers character
1 Blackarachnia
1 Blitzwing
1 Botanica
1 Browning (Masterforce)
1 Bruticus (Robots In Disguise)
1 Build Boy (Robots In Disguise)
1 Cliffjumper
1 Dinobot
1 Fangry
1 Fortress Maximus
1 Glitch
1 Greatshot
1 Heinlad (Beast Wars Neo)
1 Hound
1 Octane
1 Optimal Optimus
1 Prowl
1 Scrounge (from the comics series)
1 Silverbolt (Beast Wars)
1 Six-Gun
1 Sixknight (Masterforce)
1 Sky Lynx
1 Springer
1 Swindle
1 Tarantulas
1 Unicron
1 Victory Leo (Victory)
1 Waspinator
2 Blaster
2 Bumblebee
2 Cheetor
2 Death's Head (from the UK comics)
2 Hot Rod
2 Megatron (orig.)
2 Ruination
2 Skyfall
2 Wreck-Gar
3 Grimlock (orig.)
3 Ironhide (orig.)
3 Jazz
3 Perceptor
3 Ratchet
3 Ravage
3 Sky-Byte
3 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
4 Gigatron (Car Robots)/Megatron (Robots In Disguise)
4 Megatron (Beast Wars)
4 Rhinox
4 Starscream (orig.)
5 Soundwave (orig.)
6 Optimus Primal
6 Wheeljack
8 Devil Gigatron (Car Robots)/Galvatron (Robots In Disguise)
10 Optimus Prime (orig.)
12 Rattrap
12 Sixshot
Rattrap, from BW to BM, he always had the right tool for the right job and
fit into almost any situation.
--Neil "shivkala" Blumengarten
Sixshot. Six in one is six times the fun!
--Galvatron
Wheeljack. He slices, he dices, he blows things up! There's nothing he
can't do, given the right supplies. Heck, there's not much he can't do
even with the *wrong* supplies. ;)
--LCStarchaser
Optimus Prime for his constant ability to survive every form of death
imagianble.
--The Former Master Shrink
Ravage. The cat came back, the very next day... the cat came back, they
thought he was a goner, but the cat came back... he just wouldn't stay
away...
--Thylacine 2000
Starscream, he can suck up to any Decepticon commander, while doing his
best to betray them, he's willing to shoot off his foot if needs be, he
managed to control Cyclonus, Octane and Waspinator's bodies and doesn't
let not having a body of his own slow him down.
--Paul Frawley
Fangry. I bet he can be recycled!
--Mart "Kickback" Leuvering
CR Devil Gigatron. On the road? BING! You've got a car? Need to fly? BING!
You've got a jet! Subterranian air travel? BING! You've got a bat! Jungle
warfare? BING! You've got an elephant! A giant frying pan with flapjacks
that need flipping? BING! You've got a giant hand!
--GR Crosscut
THRUST: "A giant frying pan with flapjacks that need flipping"?
Who's got one of THOSE?
DIRGE: Unicron?
RAMJET: Not these days, he doesn't.
------------------------------
*** The Chilled Lubricant Award, for the most ruthless Transformers
character
1 Armorhide
1 Dai Atlas (Zone)
1 Death's Head (from the UK comics)
1 Devil Gigatron (Car Robots)/Galvatron (Robots In Disguise)
1 Devil-Z (Masterforce)
1 Emirate Xaaron
1 Obsidian
1 Omega Supreme
1 Optimus Prime (orig.)
1 Overlord
1 Ravage
1 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
1 Scourge (Robots In Disguise)
1 Sky-Byte
1 Soundwave
1 Tarantulas
1 Thrust (Beast Machines)
1 Ultra Magnus (Robots In Disguise)
1 Victory Leo (Victory)
2 Dinobot
2 Scourge (Robots In Disguise)
3 Black Convoy (Car Robots)
3 Bludgeon
3 Deathsaurus/Deszarus (Victory)
3 Scorponok (orig.)
3 Thunderwing
3 Unicron
4 Lord Straxus
4 Starscream (orig.)
6 Depth Charge
6 Jhiaxus
10 Shockwave
11 Rampage (Beast Wars)
16 Galvatron (orig.)
20 Megatron (orig.)
38 Megatron (Beast Wars)
I suppose I'm going to have to vote BW Megatron for this one... Sad to
say, he actually was responsible for more TF-deaths than G1 Megs (ignoring
the movie, since that was a pre-planned killfest anyway).
--Kat
Galvatron. He doesn't even *think* before he kills you. Not that this is
a /good/ quality or anything, but it scores pretty highly in terms of
ruthlessness.
--George Morgan
Thrust, from Beast Machines. Yeah, okay, Megatron wanted to obliterate all
life on Cybertron, ganked sparks from billions of Transformers, consumed
them, etc etc. But think of this. Thrust was his loyal follower... AND HE
KNEW WHAT WAS IN STORE. This guy KNEW Megs' plan, and that should Megs
SUCCEED he was also gonna get ganked... AND HE KEPT ON FIGHTING FOR MEGS,
even after he (Megs) "died" a few times. Not because of some idiot "we're
programmed to guard Cybertron" crap. BECAUSE HE WANTED TO. Jesus.
--M Sipher
The guy who once said "I don't care if the entire Earth explodes! We can
always relocate!"-Megatron!!!!!!!!!
--Joey
Dinobot. Just watch "Code of Hero" once. He slices Inferno in half, stuffs
Waspinator in Rampage's canon, burns Blackarachnia, puts a gun to
Tarantulas' head, and kicks both Megatron and Quickstike into next week.
Total badass.
--Anthony "Tonyfitz" Brucale
Death's Head. Because you've GOT to be hardcore when your head looks like
something they serve food on at Longhorn Steakhouse.
--Hooper_X
The Under-3 Lion. Yeah, he'll kick your ass.
--Polaris
DIRGE: Nice trick for a toy that doesn't have one.
------------------------------
*** The Silly Silicon Award, for the funniest Transformers character
1 Browning (Masteforce)
1 Dead End
1 Frenzy
1 Hauler (from "More Than Meets The Eye," part 1)
1 Hot Rod
1 Jetstorm (Beast Machines)
1 Kelly
1 Landfill
1 Megatron (orig.)
1 Minerva (Masterforce)
1 Mixmaster
1 Prowl (Robots In Disguise)
1 Quickstrike
1 Rampage
1 Silverbolt (Beast Wars)
1 Skid-Z
1 Slapper
1 Speedbreaker (Car Robots)
1 Swindle
1 Swoop
1 T-A.I.
1 Terrorsaur
1 Trailbreaker
1 Warpath
1 Wheeljack
2 Blurr
2 Galvatron (orig.)
2 Kakuryu (Victory)
2 Kremzeek! (from "Kremzeek!")
2 X-Brawn
3 Inferno (Beast Wars)
3 Jazz
3 Starscream (orig.)
4 Rumble
4 Wheelie
5 Side Burn
6 Wreck-Gar
8 Grimlock (orig.)
18 Rattrap
25 Waspinator
38 Sky-Byte
Sky-Byte. Sorry Waspy.
The shark wins again.
He sings and quotes poetry.
That's good comedy!
--Philip N. Zeman
Megatron (G1) - Endless entertainment value!!!
--Zodiac
Kakuryu! I'd pick SkyByte too, if this was one of the multiple choice
questions. And why isn't it, Robert?
--Lia Brown
[Urm...]
Quickstrahk. Oh c'mon, how can I take anybody seriously with that voice?
--Brendocon/Hotdog Divebomb
Mix, mix, mix, Mixmaster!!!!
--Seawave
Does Kelly count? Her deadpan deliveries are magically delicious.
--Jackpot
The Victory Manga Femmecons recently surfaced in an old Victory manga (ask
Sipher if you want to see a pic). The EYELASHES. My. God.
--Recharge
RAMJET: So how come Sky-Byte's rhyming is cool, but Wheelie's
rhyming sucks?
THRUST: Because anything Wheelie does sucks.
DIRGE: Aw, c'mon, guys -- Wheelie-bashing is a comic cheap-shot,
isn't it?
RAMJET: And what's wrong with that?
THRUST: Yeah, you KNOW the fans want it anyway.
DIRGE: True.
THRUST: So it's practically tradition!
RAMJET: Here's another tradition -- lame segues between portions of
the Trannies.
DIRGE: Now THAT'S just stating the truth.
THRUST: Word.
[Cut to commercials.]
==========================================================================
PART II: TRANSFORMERS TOYS AND MERCHANDISE
DIRGE: Well, I don't know about you guys, but I think this year's
toy-based awards will be really interesting.
RAMJET: Why's that?
DIRGE: Because the biggest toys in 2001 were the "Robots in
Disguise" stuff, which were imports from Japan, and the
"Beast Machines" stuff, which were original toys. It'll be
fun to see which group gets more wins.
THRUST: TRUKK NOT MONKEE!
DIRGE: *Sigh*
*** Best Toy of the Year
1 Beast Changer
1 Bruticus
1 Crosswise
1 God Ginrai (Takara reissue)
1 Hightower
1 Mirage (Robots In Disguise)
1 Rail Spike
1 Rattrap (Beast Machines)
1 Sky Byte
1 Skyfire
1 Spy Streak
1 Starscream ("clear ghost" version)
1 Tank Drone
1 Tow-Line
1 Tripredacus Agent
2 Arcee (BotCon 2001 exclusive)
2 Battle Unicorn
2 God Magnus
2 Landfill
2 Mega Octane
2 Motorcycle Drone
2 Night Slash Cheetor
2 Omega Prime
2 Rail Racer
3 Cryotek
3 Side Burn
4 Tigatron (BotCon 2001 exclusive)
5 Blast Punch Optimus Primal
5 Galvatron (Robots In Disguise)
5 Ultra Magnus (Robots In Disguise)
6 Megatron (Robots In Disguise)
6 Rescue Roy
6 X-Brawn
10 Strika
11 Prowl (Robots In Disguise)
50 Optimus Prime (Robots In Disguise)
Optimus Prime, aka Fire Convoy. Nothing else released this year even
comes close.
--Mike Watson
Spy Streak. Y'know, the fiddle factor of that toy was quite high. I kept
transforming him back and forth and back and forth.... Sign of a good
toy, methinks.
The Fiddle Factor
Know it. Embrace it. Love it.
The Fiddle Factor
--Philip N. Zeman
BotCon Arcee SANS voicechip
--Kat
Strika. Surprisingly accurate in both modes, with excellent play value,
superb detail, and an improved colour scheme. Proof that not every female
TF toy needs breasts to be cool.
--Daniel "Suspsy" Suh
Can I pick... NO TOY? I'd say one of the mini-bot keychains but I think
they don't count.
--Devvi
RESCUE ROY. I WISH they had TFs like this when I was a kid. I should buy a
fresh one so my future children will have one of their very own. I mean...
he's big, easy to play with, has lots of neat features and sounds, and
he's easily one of the most POSITIVE toys I've ever seen... here's this
giant firefighting robot telling kids THEY'RE the real heroes! Wow!
--M Sipher
Hightower - You gotta love an Autobot with a giant, transforming,
sawed-off shotgun.
--Iacon
THRUST: TRUKK NOT MONKEE! TRUKK NOT MONKEE!
RAMJET: Shaddap before I smack you!
DIRGE: *Sigh* ... So, guys, what're YOUR favorite toys from last
year?
RAMJET: Ro-tor, just for the name. BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
THRUST: No way, it's gotta be Ultra Magnus! Looks like a gimp, has
a goofball voice, and he's so fragile he falls apart even
if you BREATHE on him wrong!
DIRGE: You don't breathe.
THRUST: I learned to, just for Ultra Magnus!
------------------------------
*** Best Toy Ever
1 Airrazor
1 Astrotrain
1 Blackarachia (Beast Wars)
1 Blaster
1 Cheetor (Beast Wars)
1 Countdown
1 Cycle Drone
1 Double Punch
1 Doublecross (Monsterbot)
1 Doubledealer
1 Guzzle
1 Highbrow
1 Hound
1 Long Rack (Beast Wars Neo)
1 Midnight Express
1 Optimus Minor
1 Raiden (orig.)
1 Rail Racer
1 Rapid Run
1 Rodimus Prime
1 Sky Lynx
1 Sky-Byte
1 Skyjack
1 Skywarp (orig.)
1 Slag
1 Sludge
1 Speedbreaker (Car Robots)
1 Spittor (Transmetal 2)
1 Star Convoy (Return of Convoy)
1 Tankorr
1 Thrust (BM)
1 Thrustol (Beast Wars Second)
1 W.A.R.S.
2 B'Boom (Beast Wars Second)
2 Battle Unicorn
2 Beachcomber
2 Blackarachnia (Beast Machines)
2 Brave Maximus (Car Robots)
2 Build Boy (Car Robots)
2 Build King (Car Robots)
2 Devil Gigatron (Car Robots)
2 Drancron (Beast Wars Neo)
2 Hot Spot
2 Inferno (Beast Wars)
2 Mach Kick
2 Megatron (Combat Hero)
2 Optimus Primal (Transmetal)
2 Overkill
2 Perceptor
2 R.E.V.
2 Razorclaw (Beast Wars)
2 Rotorstorm
2 Scattershot
2 Scourge (orig.)
2 Soundblaster (Headmasters)
2 Strika
2 Takotank (Beast Wars Second)
2 Trypticon
2 Warpath
2 Wedge
2 Weirdwolf
2 Wheeljack (orig.)
3 Big Daddy
3 Crosswise
3 Grand Maximus (Masterforce)
3 Hot Rod (Targetmaster)
3 Landfill
3 Lioconvoy (Galvatron-colored version)
3 Megatron (Beast Wars Ultra T-Rex)
3 Megatron (orig., Japanese version)
3 Megatron (Machine Wars)
3 Omega Prime
3 Optimus Prime (G2)
3 Optimus Prime (PowerMaster)
3 Prowl (orig.)
3 Ramjet
3 Rhinox (Transmetal)
3 Road Rocket
3 Silverbolt (Beast Wars Fuzor)
3 Sky Shadow
3 Skyquake
3 Smokescreen (orig.)
3 Super Wildride (Car Robots)
3 Swoop
3 Terrorsaur (Transmetal)
3 Ultra Magnus (Robots In Disguise)
3 Victory Leo (Victory)
4 Cliffjumper
4 Cyclonus
4 Deathsaurus/Dezsaras (Victory)
4 Depth Charge
4 Gigatron (Car Robots)
4 God Magnus
4 Heinrad (Beast Wars Neo)
4 Hooligan
4 Rampage (Beast Wars)
4 Ravage
4 Side Burn
4 Sonic Attack Jet
4 Star Saber (Victory)
4 Thunderwing
4 Victory Saber (Victory)
5 Cheetor (Transmetal)
5 Metroplex
5 Night Viper
5 Rescue Roy
5 Scorponok (orig.)
6 Devastator
6 Overlord
6 Scourge (Robots In Disguise)
6 Sideswipe (orig.)
6 Super Mach Alert (Car Robots)
6 X-Brawn
7 Big Convoy (Beast Wars Neo)
7 Dreadwing/Smokescreen (G2 ATB)
7 Liokaiser (Victory)
8 Starscream (orig.)
8 Tarantulas (Transmetal)
9 Black Convoy (Car Robots)
9 Jazz (orig.)
9 Jetstorm (Beast Machines Deluxe)
9 Tigerhawk
10 God Ginrai (Masterforce)
10 Megatron (G2)
10 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
11 Cryotek
11 Galvatron (Robots In Disguise)
11 Megatron (orig.)
12 Megatron (Robots In Disguise)
13 Galvatron (orig.)
13 Omega Supreme
13 Prowl (Robots In Disguise)
13 Sixshot
15 Optimus Primal (Beast Wars Ultra Gorilla)
15 Shockwave
16 Grimlock (orig.)
17 Jetstorm (Beast Machines Ultra)
18 Soundwave (orig.)
19 Fortress Maximus
19 Megatron (Transmetal)
29 Optimal Optimus
31 Optimus Prime (orig.)
33 Fire Convoy/Super Fire Convoy (Car Robots)
35 Megatron (Transmetal 2)
42 Jetfire (orig.)
44 Optimus Prime (Robots In Disguise)
52 Optimus Prime (Laser Rod)
Laser Optimus Prime continues to be the best toy to ever come out of
Transformers on any level. The main robot is big enough to be impressive
without being too big to play with. The trailer is PACKED with nifty
gimmicks of mass destruction. The electronics look nice. The alt-form is
a wonderful updating of the original Prime (I mean, c'mon, you REALLY
don't see too many of those boxes on wheels anymore), and the robot mode
keeps the important "Prime" aesthetics. It's a mild pity Takara had to
turn it into "Evil Black Recolor Prime", but on the bright side, this
gives kids a chance to own the best TF toy ever made.
--M Sipher
Heinrad. A robot alarm clock. That turns into a raccoon. With giant
gonads. I take back every bad thing I ever said about Japan.
--Hooper_X
Airrazor - a girl! Yaaaaaaaay!!!! It's about 'effin' time!
--Seawave
Side Burn has the coolest transformation ever! All those assymetrical,
large, incredibly articulate parts fit into a compact, beautiful alternate
mode that is as solid as a rock. Incredibly complex and difficult to
master, this toy proves that bigger is not necessarily better (Unless
you're Fire Convoy)
--Geargrinder
Sixshot. The orginal and coolest six changer. No hand mode here.
--GalvaQuake
Dragon Megatron is very shiny. And Red. And he turns into a dragon. Those
are all the qualifications he needs to get my vote!!
--saysadie
THRUST: Which, of course, explains why Cryotek is so popular.
DIRGE: Hey, whatever works.
------------------------------
*** Best Non-American Toy Ever
1 Build King
1 Double Punch
1 Drench
1 Galaxy Shuttle
1 Hardhead
1 Hurricane
1 JRX
1 Leaf
1 Leozak
1 Metrotitan
1 Road Caesar
1 Tracks (European Action Master)
1 Twincast
2 B.B./Starscream
2 Bazooka
2 Blacker
2 Burning Convoy
2 Corhada
2 Dai Atlas
2 Greatshot
2 Joe
2 Killer Punch
2 Magmatron
2 Pyro/Sparks
2 Saberback
2 Six-Turbo
2 Talon
3 Aquablast
3 Bombshell (European Action Master)
3 Clench/Colossus
3 Darkeggbot (keychain)
3 Flash Lioconvoy
3 Hawk
3 Hot Rod (Crystal version)
3 Lioconvoy (Galvatron-colored version)
3 Long Rack
3 Megatron (Beast Wars Metals)
3 Optimus Primal (Beast Wars gorilla, Clear version)
3 Sky Garry
3 Soundwave (Transformers Juniors)
3 Super God Ginrai (Blazing Guts recolor)
3 Super God Jinrai (God Ginrai + Godbomber)
3 Thrust (Beast Wars Second)
4 Boss
4 Brave Maximus
4 Grand Maximus
4 Guy Hawk
4 Ikard with Takotank
4 Land Cross
4 Mach Alert
4 Megatron (re-released original)
4 Victory Leo
5 Dirgegun
5 Hellscream
5 Soundblaster
5 Stalker
5 Star Convoy
5 Stepper
6 Ace Evader
6 Dead End (Beast Wars Neo)
6 Devil Gigatron
6 Skyquake
6 Starscream (re-released "ghost" version)
6 Storm/Rotorstorm
6 Super Mach Alert
7 God Magnus
8 Browning
9 Break
10 Black Zarak
10 Gigatron
11 Heinrad
12 Stampy
13 Mach Kick
13 Raiden
13 Victory Saber (Star Saber + Victory Leo)
14 Liokaiser
15 Black Convoy
18 Lioconvoy
20 Deathsaurus/Deszarus
25 Jaguar (Beast Wars Metals "Ravage")
29 Galvatron (Beast Wars Second)
32 Star Saber
35 God Ginrai
42 Big Convoy
42 Fire Convoy/Super Fire Convoy
50 Overlord
I'd put Magmatron as the first but he's absolutely terribly difficult to
transform. Therefore he goes to the bottom and Overlord goes to the top.
Two Nebulans (whom I call Yin and Yang, despite their real names), and a
whole array of weapons.
--Joona I Palaste
Jaguar was a very cool toy, I wish they'd released it for the BW line, I
would have snatched it up in a second.
--Mike Watson
Red Tracks =)
--Synwraith
Sky Garry. Its the only one I have. Easy to pick
--Outtie
Galvatron (BW2) - The idea of an evil emperor, bent on world domination
and universal destruction by resurrecting a dark god, and yet is colored
pink just scares me. Plus the toy is a lot of fun to play with.
--Junkman
Stampy. Look out, its a killer rabbit.
--CLEAZER
Ok, Mach Kick gets my vote because he's a horse TF that can actually rear
on it's hind legs!
--Robert Ranting
THRUST: Oooh, oooh, oooh! Can I make a dirty joke here?
DIRGE: No.
THRUST: Oh, c'mon! It's great!
DIRGE: NO!
THRUST: PULEEEZE?!
[Ramjet smacks Thrust in the head.]
THRUST: Ow!
DIRGE: Thank you.
------------------------------
*** Best Convention-Exclusive Toy
1 Choro-Q Megatron (BotCon Japan 2000)
1 Shining Ultra Magnus (Yokohama Toy Show)
2 Clear Car Brothers 3-Pack
2 Fukkokuban Convoy (black Optimus Prime reissue, JAF-CON)
2 Skywarp reissue (Japanese Toy Show Exclusive)
2 Thundercracker reissue (Japanese Toy Show Exclusive)
3 Choro-Q Optimus Prime (BotCon Japan 2000)
3 Doublepunch (BotCon Japan '97)
3 Ghost Starscream
3 Scavenger (Cybcon 2001)
3 Vice Grip (BotCon '98)
4 Packrat (BotCon '97)
5 Black Megatron (BotCon Japan 2000)
8 Oynx Primal (BotCon '96)
10 Sandstorm (BotCon '99)
12 Fractyl (BotCon '97)
15 Apelinq (BotCon 2000)
21 Breakdown (Botcon '94)
24 Windrazor (BotCon '99)
26 Nightracer (BotCon '95)
32 Antagony (BotCon '98)
90 Shokaract (BotCon 2000)
112 Arcee (BotCon 2001)
160 Tigatron (BotCon 2001)
BC Tigatron, 'cos he keeps Vok in his tummy, and uses them for the
ultimate Care Bear stare.
--Finback
I love Fractyl. We should all love Fractyl. Say after me: "I love
Fractyl!"
--Windchaser/Cecilia
Shokaract is such a bad@$$ that he deserves to win this one!
--Alvaro Carvajal
Botcon 2001 Chatty Arcee.
--Ryan "Darwinian Raod Kill" Hawe
Was Cataclysm an exclusive or a limited release?
--Razorpack
[Try "no-show".]
That one of Arcee that dude won in Japan that one time. I saw it on a
website once.
--Metal Vendetta
Can't wait for Unicron? Neither can I!
--Kakarot
THRUST: Hey, I'M in no hurry to meet Unicron!
RAMJET: Yeah! He eats us!
DIRGE: "Ate."
THRUST: Yeah! He ate us!
RAMJET: Waitasecond -- if Unicron ate us, what are we doing here?
DIRGE: Since when did continuity matter to TransFans?
------------------------------
*** Best Toy Character Box Art
1 Battletrap
1 Black Convoy (Car Robots)
1 Black Zarak
1 Blackarachnia (Japanese version)
1 Brave Maximus (Car Robots)
1 Bugly
1 Cheetor (Beast Machines)
1 Cheetor (Supreme)
1 Chromedome
1 Cliffjumper
1 Countdown
1 Crosshairs
1 Cybershark (Beast Wars)
1 Dinobot (Japanese version)
1 Dirge
1 Fireflight (Aerialbot)
1 Fortress Maximus (Japanese version)
1 Fractyl/Packrat (BotCon '97 exclusive)
1 Getaway
1 God Magnus
1 Grand Maximus
1 Grandslam
1 Greatshot
1 Hellbat (Victory)
1 Hot Rod
1 Inferno (orig.)
1 Ironhide (orig.)
1 Ironfist (UK Lightformer)
1 Kickback
1 Magnaboss (Japanese version)
1 Megatron (Action Master)
1 Megatron (reissue)
1 Megatron (Transmetal 2)
1 Megatron (Transmetal)
1 Optimus Minor
1 Optimus Primal (Japanese Ultra gorilla)
1 Pounce/Wingspan
1 Powerdive (UK)
1 Prowl (Robots In Disguise)
1 Prowl (Transmetal 2)
1 Roadbuster
1 Seaspray
1 Shokaract (BotCon 2000 exclusive)
1 Silverbolt (Beast Wars)
1 Sky Lynx
1 Skywarp
1 Slugfest
1 Spittor (Transmetal 2)
1 Squawkbox
1 Super God Ginrai (Masterforce)
1 Thunderwing
1 Tigatron (Beast Wars)
1 Topspin
1 Tracks
1 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
1 Victory Saber (giftset version)
1 Wind Sheer
1 Windrazor (BotCon '99 exclusive)
2 Devil Gigatron (Car Robots)
2 Fortress Maximus (orig.)
2 Galvatron (orig.)
2 God Ginrai (Masterforce)
2 Magnaboss
2 Megatron (original Japanese version)
2 Optimus Prime (orig.)
2 Overlord (Masterforce)
2 Shockwave
2 Smokescreen (orig.)
2 Soundwave (orig.)
2 Star Saber (Victory)
2 Victory Leo (Victory)
3 Jazz (orig.)
3 Megatron (orig.)
3 Tigatron (BotCon 2001 exclusive)
4 Sixshot
6 Arcee (BotCon 2001 exclusive)
11 Optimus Prime (PowerMaster)
Powermaster Optimus Prime (G1). It says to me. "I'm bulky as hell, yet I
can still move" - unlike the toy.
--Eric Schwartz
Grandslam - Raindance / Slamdance. Dude looked so cool with his missiles
and tank treads on his arms and a big pack of weapons on his back. He
split into a tank and jet. The toy never lived up to the pic on the box
but to this day I think he would have been sweet if he'd ever been used!
--Infosaur
Battletrap - any box art that can make that unposable brick of a toy look
dynamic deserves a nomination.
--SofaMan
Why not Crosshairs? I'm sure he gets next to zero votes in any given
category.
--Anthony "Tonyfitz" Brucale
Shokky..Shocorac..Shokoraat.. Damnit... not again. You know who I
mean, right?
--Windchaser/Cecilia
You don't mean there was actually a time when *every* individual character
got his own illustration, do you? I thought that was only a legend...
--Zobovor
RAMJET: Whoah, Arcee got pretty high on the list.
THRUST: Well, duh! Her box art's got the two things fans want.
DIRGE: I'm afraid to ask, but ... what things?
THRUST: CGI boobs! Heh heh heh!
DIRGE: Gives new meaning to the term "silicon implants," anyway.
------------------------------
*** Best Toy Tech-Spec Quote
1 Apeface: "Obnoxiousness is not a problem, it is an art."
1 Blitzwing: "Destroy first, think later."
1 Blowout: "Want to race?"
1 Bluestreak: "I never met a Decepticon I didn't dislike."
1 Blurr: "The faster it is, the better I like it."
1 Brainstorm: "The strongest tyrant cannot crush freedom of thought."
1 Bumblebee (orig.): "The least likely can be the most dangerous."
1 Buzzsaw (BM): "I float like a butterfly, but sting like a bee!"
1 Cosmos: "Reach for the stars, but never leave your friends."
1 Devastator (Action Master): "Thinking and winning do not mix."
1 Dinobot: None
1 Flywheels: "Believe in yourself, but only if you both agree."
1 Goldbug: "To know others you must know yourself first."
1 Grimlock (orig.): "Among the winners, there is no room for the
weak."
1 Hot Rod: "My actions speak louder than words."
1 Hound: "Observe everything, remember even more."
1 Kickback: "Friend is another word for fool."
1 Kup: "The past is the greatest teacher."
1 Mega-Octane: "I command you to destroy!"
1 Megatron (BW aligator): "Prosper or perish is the Predacon way of
life, and we plan to survive by driving the Maximals into
extinction! That bat-brained Optimus Primal thinks he can
challenge our strength, but he has yet to feel the painful
punishment I'll give him as I sink my teeth into his furry
flesh! He may still be a robot on the inside, but on the
outside... he's my lunch!"
1 Megatron (RiD): "The Earth is mine!"
1 Megatron (TM2): "What does not destroy me makes me strong... what
attempts to destroy me shall be obliterated."
1 Optimus Prime (RiD): "We will put out the fires of evil!"
1 Quake: "Nothing lasts forever... so why not destroy it now?"
1 Rad: "Think before you shoot, but shoot before you're shot!"
1 Ramjet: "If it flies, crash it!"
1 Rapid Run: "Let's Battle!!!!!!"
1 Rattrap (BM): "My mind is my ultimate weapon!"
1 Scrapper: "My work is a monument to -- and of -- my enemies."
1 Side Burn: "Speed limit? What speed limit?"
1 Sixshot: "Life is worth living only as long as there are enemies
worth destroying."
1 Sky Garry: "No one has the right to harm another, but sometimes it
is necessary in order to protect the innocent."
1 Snaptrap: "Broken Autobots never mend."
1 Springer: "Strength is more than physical."
1 Strafe: "Shoot everywhere -- since that's where the enemies are!"
1 Tigatron (BotCon 2001 exclusive): "Maintain your balance and the
rest will follow."
1 Triggerhappy: "Have gun, have fun!"
1 Ultra Magnus: "Consistancy is victory."
1 Wreck-Gar: "Collect and save, collect and save."
2 Beachcomber: "Know the conflict within before facing the conflict
without."
2 Cryotek: "War is good for business ... or pleasure."
2 Galvatron (orig.): "My power is everything; defat is absurd!"
2 Gears: "Nobody wins a war -- somebody loses."
2 Icebird: "He who fights with monsters should take care lest he
become a monster."
2 Mirage: "Who and what I am I hide from the enemy."
2 Razorclaw (orig.): "All good things succumb to those who wait."
2 Swindle: "Make deals, not war."
3 Eject: "Clutch hitting is the key to an effective offense."
3 Jazz (orig.): "Do it with style or don't bother doing it."
3 Omega Supreme: "Unyielding resolve has no conqueror."
5 Shockwave: "Clarity of thought before rashness of action."
5 Starscream (orig.): "Conquest is made of the ashes of one's
enemies."
6 Magmatron (Target exclusive): "'Til all is won."
7 Sideswipe: "I don't break the rules, I bend them -- a lot."
9 Megatron (orig.): "Peace through tyranny."
22 Optimus Prime (orig.): "Freedom is the right of all sentient
beings."
Optimus Prime: "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings." It's not
just good, it's true. =)
--Stelartron
Rapid Run, whose quote is "Let's battle!!!!!" Hey, you gotta give the guy
points for enthusiasm.
--Zobovor
Rescue Roy's. "When danger calls... I answer with action!" I know it
isn't a REAL quote, but if it was, it'd be the best ever. It IS on his
box, though, if I'm not mistaken, so technically, it's good, yes?
--Hooper_X
"Where do we keep the ammunition?" - Strafe (G2)
--Prowl Pants
"Make deals, not war." -Swindle. Swindle was so cool. Like a more
sinister Joe Isuzu who could turn into a jeep.
--Heli
I still really like Blurr's... it sounds smutty. ;)
--saysadie
G1 Blitzwing. Destroy first, think later! No place for wimpy Autobot
quotes here. This is TRANSFORMERS!!! DESTROY!!!!!!! KILL!!!!! GUNS!!! I
WANT GUNS!!!
--Devvi
THRUST: WOO! YEAH! GUNS!
RAMJET: SHOOT! DESTROY! KILL! BLAMMO!
THRUST: KABOOM! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE-WHAMM! BLOOEY!
RAMJET: FIGHT! DESTROY! "blooey"?
THRUST: Errr ... "Blammo"?
RAMJET: I did that!
THRUST: "Ka-boom"?
RAMJET: I did that too!
DIRGE: Okay, okay, that's enough...
------------------------------
*** Worst Toy of the Year
1 Build Team
1 Crosswise
1 Daytonus
1 Gas Skunk
1 Mega-Octane
1 Midnight Express
1 Movor
1 Predacon 3-Pack (Dark Scream, Gas Skunk, and Slapper)
1 Prowl (Rid)
1 R.E.V.
1 Ro-Tor
1 Shining Ultra Magnus (Japan)
1 Side Swipe (Robots In Disguise)
1 Slapper
1 Wedge
1 X-Brawn
2 Beast Changer ("Savage/Noble")
2 Blast Punch Optimus Primal
2 Dark Scream
2 Motorcycle Drone
2 Optimus Prime (Robots In Disguise)
2 Sky-Byte
2 Strika
2 Tow-Line
2 Tripredacus Agent
3 Arcee (BotCon 2001 exclusive)
3 Grimlock (Robots In Disguise)
4 Battle Unicorn
4 Ironhide (Robots In Disguise)
4 Megatron (Robots In Disguise)
4 Prowl 2
4 Rollbar (Robots In Disguise)
5 Side Burn (Robots In Disguise Deluxe)
6 Ruination
9 Ultra Magnus (Robots In Disguise)
27 Bruticus (Beast Machines)
RiD Bruticus, now there's a disapointment. After getting hyped to high
heaven sight-unseen when his BM slot got cancelled, his suprise release
as filler for the RiD Predacon ranks was incredibly lackluster. With an
obnoxious color scheme, insufficient paint (especially when compared to
other late BM toys), a gutted gimmick, and a downright shoddy design...
this is one toy that should've stayed cancelled.
--Avias
Daytonus. We waited seven years for THIS?
--Prowl Pants
Ruination. G1 repaints passed off as new toys make baby Jesus cry.
--Trixter
Arcee. I'm sorry, the thing is ugly. It's amazingly ugly. It's turn-
things-to-stone ugly. And painting it pink does NOT help.
--Skyflight
RiD Megatron. He looks like they modeled a TF on a burnt steak.
--dirge
BUILD TEAM!!!! GAH, UGLY QUAD FORMER MUST DIE! SQUASH, CRUSH, USE IN
BLENDER! Oops, sorry... How did the caps lock get on there...
--Divefire
Sky Byte. I don't have the toy yet, but a new colour scheme is no way to
improve on the worst TM2 toy Hasbro released.
--Griffin
Shining Ultra Magnus (the translucent yellow redeco). Ignore the fact
that the entire backstory behind this thing is just totally false. It
looks like he's made of, well, pee. "Make a break for cover--I'll try to
unleash the power of my bladder. Till all go number one!"
--Thylacine 2000
THRUST: Hey, I WANT to take a whiz on Ultra Magnus!
DIRGE: You CAN'T take a whiz, genius.
THRUST: No? Wait until someone writes a fanfic about it!
RAMJET: Way to go, Dirge, now you're giving them IDEAS...
------------------------------
*** Worst Toy Tech-Spec Quote
1 Afterburner (G2): "Brute force is not my way. My technology can
devise infinitely more successful, subtle, and unpleasant
methods..."
1 Blackarachnia (TM2): "I use deception for the purpose of good -- I
use it a lot."
1 Blast Punch Optimus Primal: "The true key to victory lies in the
strength of the mind, not the fist."
1 Blaster: "When the music is rockin, I'm rollin'."
1 Bluestreak: "I never met a Decepticon I didn't dislike."
1 Blurr: "The faster it is, the better I like it."
1 Buzzsaw (BM): "I float like a butterfly, but sting like a bee!"
1 Computron: "Complete data analysis is essential for the synthesis
of successful strategy."
1 Gobots (G2 color changer): "If we don't finish the job and flatten
them -- we might as well not be in the fight at all."
1 High Beam: "Let's get busy!"
1 Huffer: "Molecular structure is the key to success."
1 Mirage (BM): "Eat my dust!"
1 Optimus Prime (G2 UK): "Even one Decepticon is one too many."
1 Quickmix: "The faster it is, the better I like it."
1 Railspike: "Most kind of you to surrender."
1 Ratchet: "You break it, I'll remake it."
1 Road Pig: "Light my fuse and I'll race like a rocket!"
1 Rodimus Prime: "Experience is the benchmark of maturity."
1 Scavenger (orig.): "Everything is worth something, even me."
1 Side Burn: "Speed limit? What speed limit?"
1 Skram: "Hey, loosen up, guys! Saving the universe can't be that big
of a deal! "
1 Skyjack: "Trust me if you dare!"
1 Stalker: "Hate till it hurts and then hate some more."
1 Striker: "When I get you in my clutches, you're gonna need
crutches!"
1 Ultra Magnus (RiD): ""Let's hit the road, Autobots. We have a
planet to save!"
1 Vortex: "I'm Vortex, fly me - if you dare!"
1 X-Brawn: "Strength wins!"
2 Midnight Express: "Victory -- let's party!"
2 Mirage (MW): "Like a ninja in the night, I strike swiftly and
unseen."
2 Nightscream: "Let's get ready to make some noise!"
2 Onyx Primal: "...and I will strike down with great vengeance and
furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my
brothers, and you will know my name is Oynx when I lay my
vengeance apon [sic] thee."
2 Optimus Primal (bat): "The Maximals and I have no choice but to
stop Megatron and his Predacon minions before they destroy us all!
Freedom may be the right of all sentient beings, but to protect
the greater good we must vanquish the earth from these evil
Predacon creatures! It won't be easy, but nothing worthwhile
ever is!"
2 Optimus Primal (BM): "Organic life is often hidden, sometimes
overcome, but seldom extinguished!"
2 Rapid Run: "Let's battle!!!!"
2 Wedge: "I'll shove the bad guys out of the way!"
2 Wheelie: "Only the fierce shall live."
3 Megatron (BW aligator): "Prosper or perish is the Predacon way of
life, and we plan to survive by driving the Maximals into
extinction! That bat-brained Optimus Primal thinks he can
challenge our strength, but he has yet to feel the painful
punishment I'll give him as I sink my teeth into his furry
flesh! He may still be a robot on the inside, but on the
outside... he's my lunch!"
3 Skalor: "I stink, therefore I am."
4 Spittor (TM2): "I'm mean to the core... I got meanness oozing out
of every pore."
5 Megatron (RiD): "The Earth is mine!"
5 Optimus Prime (RiD): "We will put out the fires of evil!"
6 Bruticus (RiD): "Who goes there?"
6 Soundwave (orig.): "Cries and screams are music to my ears."
10 Blowout: "Want to race?"
Blowout - "Want to race?" THAT's his motto? He lives his life by THAT?!!
--Brendocon/Hotdog Divebomb
Honourable mention to Colossus for "I'm Evil! I'm so evil I eat puppies
and kittens on toast with vegimite! Yummy!"
--Rick R. Mortis
BM Primal - "Organic life is often hidden, sometimes overcome, but seldom
extinguished!" GAG!
--Chris McFeely
Oh man. I cherish RID, and even I have to say that this was the year for
wretched quotes. None of them *meant* anything this year--they were all
just sentence fragments. I think if you buy all the RID toys in sequence
and string their quotes together, you unlock a hidden exclusive episode
script. ("Who goes there?" "THE EARTH IS MINE!" "Let's battle!!!!"
"I'll shove the bad guys out of the way!" ...wow, I think I could be on
to something here. Alert Ted Koppel.) Ah well. WORST offender?
Rapid-Run, with the aforementioned "Let's battle!!!!" Note that to omit
any exclamation points is to compromise the integrity of the character.
--Thylacine 2000
"Hey loosen up guys! Saving the universe can't be that big a deal!"
- Skram. Possibly one of the most pathetic ways to characterize a
Transformer.
--Alloran
"Who goes there?" - RID Bruticus. Makes sense. The worst toy gets the
worst tech spec.
--Tigerpaw28
"Hate 'til it hurts and then hate some more!"- Stalker- RiD certainly
offered up some stiff competition, but still, nothing compares to the
ultimate in misguided badassery.
--Iacon
Robots In Disguise Optimus Prime. "We will put out the fires of evil!
With the fire hose of justice, linked to the fire hydrant of peace, and
knock down the doors of oppression hiding the trapped victims of terror
with the hatchet of perseverance..." okay, I'll stop now. :#)
--Red Dragon AuraThunder Ranger Aaron Hong
RAMJET: I don't see what's wrong with "Want to race?" It's short,
to the point, and tells you what he likes.
THRUST: This from the 'con whose motto is "If it flies, crash it!"
RAMJET (angry): And what's wrong with THAT?!
THRUST: Errr...
DIRGE: Knock it off!
------------------------------
*** The Earth Day Award, for the best reuse of a character's name
1 Bruticus (Beast Machines)
1 Dirge (Beast Wars Second)
1 Galvatron (Beast Wars Second)
1 Grimlock (Robots In Disguise)
1 Jetstorm (Beast Machines Deluxe)
1 Optimus Prime (Laser Rod)
1 Prowl 2
1 Scourge (Beast Wars)
1 Starscream (Beast Wars Second)
2 Grimlock (Beast Wars)
2 Ironhide (Robots In Disguise)
2 Jetstorm (Beast Machines Ultra)
2 Landfill (Robots In Disguise)
2 Megatron (Transmetal)
3 Ironhide (Magnaboss elephant)
3 Megatron (Transmetal 2)
3 Rampage (Beast Wars)
4 Megatron (Beast Wars Ultra T-Rex)
4 Prowl (Transmetal 2)
4 Thrust (Beast Machines)
5 Galvatron (Robots In Disguise)
5 Mirage (Robots In Disguise)
6 Soundwave (Beast Wars Mutant)
8 Optimus Prime (Robots In Disguise)
8 Scourge (Robots In Disguise)
9 Silverbolt (Beast Wars Fuzor)
12 Ultra Magnus (Robots In Disguise)
14 Inferno (Beast Wars)
25 Prowl (Robots In Disguise)
Prowl (RiD)...G1 Prowl would be proud
--Mecha Usagi
Skyfire. Loyal Decepticon, follows Megatron utterly! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
--Aaron F. Bourque
Ultra Magnus. The curse of the Eternal Weenie is lifted. Magnus arrives
tanned, rested and ready to kick Optimus Prime's butt. He's not tepid and
drowning in powers over his head. He's primed, petulant, and pissed off
enough to actually *DO* something. And his toy version is SOOOOOOO much
better, too.
--Merytneith
Inferno! From fire extinguisher to crazy fire starter! I love it!
--Noah Carroll
Landfill (G1 to RiD). From nobody to suicidal rampaging badass!
--David "Bluestreak7" Schulz
Hightower. I mean, c'mon, he's from Police Academy. That rocks.
--David "Walkerton" Willis
Thrust. G1: Dull if likable seeker who fades into obscurity. BM: Slick,
well characterized, almost commanding presence that makes you forget the
name belonged to another TF. He made the name of 'Thrust' truly his own...
--Citizen V
THRUST: HEY! Who're you calling "dull," buster?
RAMJET: He's calling YOU "dull," mister "Name got swiped for some
dinky motorcycle Vehicon." (snicker)
THRUST: At least MY name is still being used for new toys, instead
of being the butt of a stupid toast joke!
RAMJET: YOU LEAVE MY TOAST ALONE!
THRUST: Make me, you ... you BAKER!
[Dirge slams Thrust and Ramjet's heads together]
DIRGE: I can't take you two anywhere, can I?
------------------------------
*** The Grave-Spinning Award, for the worst reuse of a character's
name
1 Buzz Saw (Beast Wars)
1 Cheetor (Beast Machines Supreme)
1 Galvatron (Beast Wars Second)
1 Galvatron (Robots In Disguise)
1 Gobots
1 Hubcap (Machine Wars)
1 Ironhide (Robots In Disguise)
1 Jetstorm (Beast Wars)
1 Megatron (Beast Machines)
1 Megatron (G2 tank)
1 Optimus Primal (Beast Wars bat)
1 Optimus Prime (Go-Bot)
1 Prowl (Rid Spychanger)
1 Prowl 2
1 Side Swipe (Robots In Disguise)
1 Silverbolt (Beast Machines)
1 Starscream (Beast Wars Second)
1 Thrust (Beast Machines)
1 Ultra Magnus (Robots In Disguise)
2 Megatron (Beast Wars Ultra T-Rex)
2 Prowl (Transmetal 2)
2 Scorponok (Beast Wars)
3 Megatron (Beast Wars alligator)
3 X-Brawn
4 Scourge (Robots In Disguise)
5 Optimus Prime (Robots In Disguise)
5 Prowl (Robots In Disguise)
5 Soundwave (Beast Wars Mutant)
6 Soundwave (Go-Bot)
9 Bruticus (Robots In Disguise)
21 Megatron (Robots In Disguise)
41 Grimlock (Robots In Disguise)
In the red corner, we have a day-glo-coloured contruction vehicle... and
in the blue corner, we have a [censored] great big metal lizard...
*chomp* ...well, that was quick... ;)
--Stuart Denyer
Silverbolt (BM) - poor guy never saw it coming...
--Rony Tal
Soundwave, being reused for the Beast Mutant. I lost the will to live for
about an hour after leaning about that...
--Chris McFeely
Megatron (RID). I can understand wanting to keep RID consistent with other
series (good guy leader is Optimus, bad guy leader is Megatron) but it's
still annoying that they gave the name to a loud-mouthed, short-tempered,
lazy buffoon. THERE'S your Pretender-to-the-Name
--DarkClaw
Slapper! Oh, wait, that was just Daniel's *nickname.*
--Heli
Does "Skid-Z" count?
--Joona I Palaste
RiD Bruticus. The G1 version was a badass combiner and the RiD version is
a sad unused mold from BM.
--Neil "shivkala" Blumengarten
Prowl 2 (RID). Not Prowl, it's PROWL 2! the sequel.
--Ottogunn
DIRGE: "Coming this summer -- 'Prowl 2: Attack of the Go-bot'"
RAMJET: Aw, that sucks.
DIRGE: YOU come up with something better, then.
RAMJET: Okay ... "Prowl 2: The Revenge!"
THRUST: What kind of revenge can you get with a dinky $5 toy?
RAMJET: You can paint yourself orange and make bad rhymes.
DIRGE: Ewwww!
------------------------------
*** The Encore Award, for the Transformers toy you most want to see
re-released WITHOUT CHANGES
1 Battle Gaia (Operation: Combination)
1 Big Convoy (Beast Wars Second)
1 Black Zarak (Masterforce)
1 Bluestreak
1 Brawl
1 Cliffjumper
1 Computron
1 Cyclonus
1 Deathsaurus/Deszarus (Victory)
1 Decepticon Cassettes
1 Devastator
1 Dinobot (Transmetal 2)
1 Extra Japanese Headmasters
1 Hooligan
1 Jazz
1 Kup
1 Megatron (G2)
1 Megatron (Japanese)
1 Megatron (Transmetal)
1 Metroplex
1 Optimus Prime (Pepsi)
1 Raiden (Headmasters)
1 Ramjet
1 Reflector
1 Sideswipe (orig.)
1 Sky Lynx
1 Slag
1 Star Saber (Victory)
1 Starscream (orig.)
1 Stepper
1 Sunstreaker
1 Tracks
1 Trypticon
1 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
1 Victory Leo (Victory)
1 Victory Saber (Victory)
1 Wheelie
2 Dreadwind/Smokescreen (G2 Bomber)
2 Overlord (Masterforce)
2 Scorponok (orig.)
2 Soundblaster
2 Swoop
2 Wheeljack
3 Battle Unicorn
3 Grand Maximus (Masterforce)
3 Perceptor
3 Star Convoy (Return of Convoy)
4 Liokaiser (Victory)
4 Omega Supreme
4 Optimus Primal (Beast Wars Ultra gorilla)
4 Prowl (orig.)
5 Grimlock (orig.)
5 Predaking
5 Shockwave
6 Megatron (orig.)
6 Optimus Prime (orig.)
8 Jetfire (orig.)
11 Soundwave (orig.)
14 Fortress Maximus
Fortress Maximus. Simply so that everyone who wanted one could get one.
I've already got one, so it's not based on a selfish desire.
Okay, that's a lie.
Not a big lie, but a lie.
I need a Spike fig!
--Philip N. Zeman
Sunstreaker. ... Stop laughing, I'm serious.
--superspy
That would imply a perfect toy; the closest I can think of toy a perfect
toy is G1 Cyclonus, but that's only off the top of my head...
--Sharon "Tut" LaBorde
Devastator. Hehe. Jokes on you, that's six toys.
--Eternal097
Battle Unicorn--I've yet to see one.
--Suzanne M. Ferree
Wheelie. Just to piss people off.
--Aaron F. Bourque
PREDAKING- Hey takara are you listening.......WE WANT PREDAKING!
--Guyzer 9x
The Dinobots. C'mon, they're like potato chips - you can't have just one!
--Michelle Carolus
DIRGE: Rather appropriate, since the Dinobots are about as smart
as a bag of potato chips.
THRUST: Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh!
RAMJET: Yeah! So does that mean Slag's a BBQ potato chip, because
he's so hot? And Snarl could be a Sour Cream 'n Onion chip
because he's repulsive, and... er...
DIRGE: ...way to go, Ramjet.
------------------------------
*** The Blackwell Award, for the Transformers toy with the best color
scheme and design
1 Arcee (BotCon 2001 exclusive)
1 Big Convoy (Beast Wars Second)
1 Bluestreak
1 Brave Maximus (Car Robots)
1 Brawl
1 Bumblebee (orig.)
1 Chro (BotCon 2001 repaint of Rav)
1 Cliffjumper
1 Crosswise
1 Cybershark (Beast Wars)
1 Devil Gigatron (Car Robots)
1 Fire Convoy (Car Robots)
1 Fortress Maximus
1 Galvatron (orig.)
1 Grimlock (orig.)
1 Hot Rod (orig.)
1 Hot Spot
1 Jetfire (G2)
1 JRX (Car Robots)
1 Landfill (Robots In Disguise)
1 Mach Alert (Car Robots)
1 Mach Kick (Beast Wars Neo)
1 Metrotitan
1 Mindwipe
1 Night Slash Cheetor
1 Night Viper
1 Omega Prime
1 Optimus Prime (Laser Rod)
1 Piranicon
1 Primal Prime
1 Punch-Counterpunch
1 Ramjet
1 Rotorstorm
1 Shockwave
1 Side Burn
1 Sideswipe (G2)
1 Sixshot
1 Skyfire
1 Smokescreen (orig.)
1 Snarl (Beast Machines)
1 Stepper
1 Super Prowl
1 Super X-Brawn
1 Tankorr
1 Thunderclash
1 Tigerhawk
1 Victory Leo
1 Wheeljack
1 X-Brawn
2 Blackarachnia (Beast Wars)
2 Clench/Colossus (UK Obliterator)
2 Dreadwing/Smokescreen (G2 ATB)
2 Megatron (Japanese Version)
2 Prowl (orig.)
2 Shokaract (BotCon 2000 exclusive)
2 Sky-Byte
2 Spittor (Transmetal 2)
2 Super Mach Alert
2 Tigatron (BotCon 2001 exclusive)
2 Ultra Magnus (Robots In Disguise)
3 Galvatron (Robots In Disguise)
3 Jetstorm (Beast Machines Ultra)
3 Megatron (Transmetal 2)
3 Megatron (Transmetal)
3 Prowl (Robots In Disguise)
3 Wind Sheer
4 Jetfire (orig.)
4 Megatron (Robots In Disguise)
4 Skywarp (orig.)
4 Super Fire Convoy/Optimus Prime (Robots In Disguise)
4 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
5 Jazz (orig.)
6 Cryotek
7 Optimus Prime (orig.)
12 Black Convoy (Car Robots)/Scourge (Robots In Disguise)
Black Convoy. He's like one of those stupid Gucci recolors that are all
the rage, only done well.
--Heli
Cryotek. The already-excellent TM2 Megatron gets a neat Visonary name, a
detailed bio (on the Botcon site), and the COOLEST COLOUR SCHEME EVER.
If this toy were any cooler, my fingers would freeze up whenever I
touched it.
--Daniel "Suspsy" Suh
Insert Metrotitan picture here.
--Vicken
Jusco Clear Artfire, it's beautiful and translucent!
--Anthony "Tonyfitz" Brucale
Car Robots Build King/Robots In Disguise Landfill.
"Can we kick ass?" "YES WE CAN!!" :#)
--Red Dragon AuraThunder Ranger Aaron Hong
Mindwipe's bat mode has the cutest bat face ever set to plastic.
--Suzanne M. Ferree
RAMJET: I think I'm gonna repaint myself black, so I'll look even
cooler than I already do!
DIRGE: I don't think that'd work, Ramjet.
RAMJET: ...yeah, I suppose you can't improve perfection.
DIRGE: No, I mean that there isn't enough black paint to cover up
your inherent dorkiness.
THRUST: HA!
------------------------------
*** The Gyp Award, for the Transformers toy that is the biggest waste
of money
1 Archadis/Airraptor
1 Battle Unicorn
1 Beast Changer (Savage/Noble)
1 Blackarachnia (Transmetal)
1 Blaster
1 Bludgeon
1 Blurr
1 Buzzclaw
1 Buzzsaw (Beast Machines)
1 Chase
1 Cheetor (Night Slash)
1 Cindersaur
1 Cybershark (Transmetal 2)
1 Firecons
1 Flamefeather
1 Gas Skunk
1 Godbomber
1 Goldbug
1 Iron Hide (Power Master)
1 Japanese Godmaster Engines
1 Jetstorm (Beast Machines Ultra)
1 JRX (Car Robots)
1 Meanstreak (Power Master)
1 Megatron (orig.)
1 Megatron (Transmetal 2)
1 Metroplex
1 Optimus Prime (PowerMaster)
1 Optimus Prime (Robots In Disguise)
1 Primal Prime
1 Prowl (orig.)
1 Raiden (Headmasters)
1 Roadmaster
1 Rollbar
1 Ruination
1 Shining Ultra Magnus (Takara re-issue)
1 Skullgrin
1 Sky-Byte
1 Starscream (Black Takara reissue)
1 Starscream (orig.)
1 T-Wrecks
1 Tripredacus
1 W.A.R.S.
2 God Ginrai (Masterforce)
2 Injector
2 Jetfire (orig.)
2 Megatron (Beast Machines)
2 Omega Prime
2 Optimus Minor
2 Skid-Z
2 Trypticon
2 Wedge (Robots In Disguise)
2 Wheelie
4 Optimal Optimus
5 Fortress Maximus (orig.)
5 Nightscream
5 Optimus Primal (Beast Machines Deluxe)
6 Bruticus (Beast Machines)
7 God Magnus (Car Robots)/Ultra Magnus (Robots In Disguise)
9 Devil Gigatron (Car Robots)/Galvatron (Robots In Disguise)
27 Supreme Cheetor
No surprise here -- SUPREME CHEETOR. I paid a hundred bucks for him,
dammit.
--Goktimus Prime
Supreme Cheetor. I got him during Amazon's "ten bucks and no shipping"
deal, and I still thought he was a rip-off.
--Heli
BM Nightscream. What drunken bender was I on when I purchased this $20
steaming pile of slag?
--Neil "shivkala" Blumengarten
Any Micromaster Base.
--Aleph
WARS. He's ugly. Worst part is, he does not break when run over by a
Mustang...
--Mart "Kickback" Leuvering
[And from the "eBay is eVil" crowd...]
MISB PROWL RARE G1 L@@K!!!!!!!!!!
--Jackpot
I once saw an eBay auction in which someone bid $1000 on a MISB G1 Prowl.
If that's not insane, then nothing is.
--Daniel "Suspsy" Suh
Anything MISB sold on E-bay
--Computron
Raiden. I'd say $200, maybe even $300 might not be a waste of money for
Raiden. The $2000 the giftset has been going for on ebay is a waste of
money for Raiden. I've played with Raiden. He's no $2000 toy. Go find
a charity or something if you're that desperate to offload thousands of
dollars.
--Trixter
Bruticus (RiD) - Call me crazy, but I'm not too keen about spending $10
on a toy that was a Beast Machines reject.
--Kat
Black Starscream. It's a 15-year old Transformer with *two* points of
poseability, coloured black and priced at about a zillion dollars, plus
postage. Whoopee.
--Rick R. Mortis
DIRGE: See? Black paint doesn't make a dorky toy look cool.
RAMJET: Aw, but that's STARSCREAM!
THRUST: HA!
------------------------------
*** The "Built Like a Brick" Award, for the most indestructible toy
1 Blaster (orig.)
1 Brawl
1 Bruticus (orig.)
1 Chase
1 Cindersaur
1 Cosmos
1 Crosswise (Robots In Disguise)
1 Daytonus
1 Goldbug
1 Grandus (Return of Convoy)
1 Headstrong
1 Hooligan
1 Insecticon
1 Ironhide (Robots In Disguise)
1 Jetstorm (Beast Machines Deluxe)
1 Longhorn
1 Mega-Octane
1 Megatron (Beast Machines)
1 Metroplex
1 Micromasters
1 Mindwipe
1 Misfire
1 Mol
1 Nightbeat
1 Nightscream
1 Optimus Primal (Beast Wars Ultra Gorilla)
1 Optimus Primal (Transmetal)
1 Optimus Prime (Combat Hero)
1 Panther (McDonald's Happy Meal toy)
1 Primal Prime
1 Prowl (Transmetal 2)
1 Ramjet
1 Rampage (Beast Wars)
1 Ravage
1 Razorclaw (orig.)
1 Rescue Roy
1 Scorponok (orig.)
1 Seaspray
1 Silverbolt (Beast Wars Fuzor)
1 Skullcruncher
1 Sky Shadow
1 Slag
1 Sludge
1 Slugslinger
1 Snarl (Beast Machines)
1 Starscream (Machine Wars)
1 Terrorsaur
1 Throttlebots
1 Topspin
1 Ultra Magnus
1 Unicron
1 Victory Leo
1 W.A.R.S.
1 Warpath
1 Wheelie
2 Brave Maximus (Car Robots)
2 Broadside
2 Galvatron (orig.)
2 Jetfire (orig.)
2 Jetstorm (Beast Machines Ultra)
2 McDonalds Under-3 Happy Meals Toy Lion
2 Mirage (Beast Machines)
2 Nosecone
2 Optimal Optimus
2 Predaking
2 Sixshot
2 Soundwave (orig.)
2 Trypticon
3 Grimlock (orig.)
7 Optimus Prime (orig.)
8 Fortress Maximus
9 God Ginrai (Masterforce)/Optimus Prime (PowerMaster)
Powermaster Optimus Prime. He IS a brick.
--Chris McFeely
Well, since he is a brick, God Ginrai!
--Brandon Williams
Sky Shadow is made out of such a durable, thickly molded plastic that I
have no compunctions about picking him up by the tail and slamming him
repeatedly against a tabletop. Try doing *that* with an Optimus Prime!
--Avias
Any Action Master. Gee, its helps that they don't transform.
--CLEAZER
Any of the three "My First Transformer" toys - deliberately built to be
indestructible. If you need to choose one, choose the plane....
--Raksha
Not Original Megatron!
--DoubleORed
Well, it certainly isn't "Glass Back" Mirage!
--Typhoon
Optimal Optimus... If swung hard enough may stun a rhino...
--Divefire
This question seems to require the kind of field testing procedure that,
alas, I have never conducted. I was always under the impression that you
should be *nice* to your toys! I am willing to concede the very likely
possibility that I have the wrong combination of chromosomes to fully
appreciate this question. :D
--Merytneith
Ultra Nightscream. Believe me, I tried.
--David "Walkerton" Willis
THRUST: What's a chromosome?
DIRGE: A pair of genes.
THRUST: What's a pair of genes?
DIRGE: About $40 at The Gap.
RAMJET: *Ba-dum-DUM!*
THRUST: I don't get it.
------------------------------
*** Best Merchandise Item of All Time
1 "Artistic Transformations" By Vince Dicola
1 Bed Tray
1 BotCon T-Shirts
1 Choro Q Optimus Prime
1 Coloring Books
1 Comic Books
1 Comic books
1 Commodore 64 Transformers game
1 Decepticon symbol window decals
1 "Defeat The Decepticons" board game
1 Devastator PVC figure
1 "Find Your Fate" books
1 Galvatron PVC figure
1 Hot Rod go-kart
1 Japanese 1986 Takara toy catalog
1 Japanese Talking Rodimus and Galvatron
1 "Lighting Their Darkest Hour" music CD
1 Lunch tray
1 Megatron club shirt
1 Megatron gumball machine
1 Metalforce Optimus Prime
1 "Metals Monuments Megatron" pewter statue
1 Optimus Primal rain boots
1 Optimus Prime semi truck PVC figure
1 Pencil case/Stationary set
1 S*T*A*R*S playset
1 Soundwave quilt
1 Starscream Inflatable Lounge-In
1 Sunstreaker lenticular wallet
1 Titan comic reprint books
1 Transformers lunchbox
1 Transformers: The Movie sticker book
1 Transforming candy
1 Tyco transforming train set
1 Ultra Magnus pajamas
1 Underoos underwear
1 Wallpaper
1 Wheeljack doorbell
1 Wheeljack zipper clip
2 BotCon 2001 Beast Wars dinner exclusive posters
2 "Cybertronian" Transformers recognition guide
2 Optimus Prime bust
2 Optimus Prime cookie jar
2 Posters
2 Soundwave tape player
2 "Transformers: Generations" reference book
3 BotCon '97 "'til All Are One" CD set
3 Inflatable Unicron store promotional hanger
3 Optimus Prime bedroom slippers
3 Optimus Prime Oral Care Station
3 "Transformers: The Movie" soundtrack CD
3 UK comic book series
4 Bumblebee/Cliffjumper keychains
4 Cartoon episode DVDs (various)
7 PVC figure sets
8 T-shirts (various)
10 "Transformers: The Movie" DVD
Transformers the Movie: DVD...that's...that's all I have to say.
--Junkman
Optimus Prime Oral Care Station. Come on, it has the word "oral" in its
name! That gives it the award already.
--DarkClaw
The Unicron beachball. Nothing's more beautiful than a pool toy of a God
of Chaos and Destruction.
--Trixter
That coloring book some kid had in my kindergarten class (Hey, it was
cool!)
--Joey
Wheeljack doorbell. Sounds like a neat thing to have, even though I've
never actually seen one. Wonder if it makes an explosion sound when the
button is pressed? =)
--Stelartron
Those 45s that came with storybooks, just for the toy-accurate (and
horribly phallic) artwork.
--superspy
Lighting Their Darkest Hour. The musical score CD from TF:TM. It's like
watching a crappy movie with a nice musical score, *without* the crappy
movie.
--GR Crosscut
THRUST: Yeah! "Transformers: The Movie" sucked!
RAMJET: Whoa, Thrust, are you nuts?
THRUST: No way! It sucked the biggest sucky suck that ever sucked!
DIRGE: Oh, it wasn't THAT bad. And at least we GOT a theatrical
movie, unlike some OTHER toy lines, cough-ahem-G.I. Joe.
THRUST: I don't care! Any movie where MY big scene is getting
smashed by Optimus Prime SUCKS!
RAMJET: Save it for later.
------------------------------
*** The "Justifiable Murder" Award, for the most desired merchandise
item you want
1 "All Weapons" contest Brave Maximus
1 Animation cel
1 Beast Wars PC video game
1 "Beast Wars: Transmetals" video game
1 Bumblebee/Cliffjumper keychains
1 Cartoon series videotapes
1 Coffee mug
1 Coloring books
1 Deathsaurus/Liokaiser wristwatches
1 Galvatron decoy
1 Japanese movie poster
1 Mead folders
1 Megatron/Soundwave placemat
1 Metalforce Optimus Prime
1 Optimus Prime cookie jar
1 Ramjet toast cutters
1 S.T.A.R.S. Headquarters playset
1 SHBM Galvatron figure
1 Silver Destron signet ring
1 Sixshot drink bottle
1 Soundwave beach towel
1 Soundwave tape player
1 Transformers bath set
1 Transformers duvet cover/pillowcase
1 Transformers movie posters
1 Transformers pencil case
1 Transformers stickers
1 Transformers trading cards (Milton Bradley)
1 Transforming watch
1 Trypticon versus Metroplex board game (Japanese)
1 Tyco transforming slot car set
1 UK comic book annuals
1 Underoos underwear
2 "'Til All are One" BotCon CD set
2 Beast Wars GameBoy video game
2 Beast Wars Neo Unicron toy prototype
2 BotCon 2001 movie character T-shirts
2 Hard Hero Transformers busts (various)
2 Optimus Prime Squeeze 'n Blow
2 PVC figures (various)
2 T-Shirts (various)
2 "Transformers: Generations" reference book
2 "Transformers: The Movie" DVD
3 Comic books
3 Hot Rod/Arcee/Elita-1 resin model kits
3 Inflatable Unicron store promotional hanger
3 Skywarp PVC figure
3 UK comic book series
6 Cartoon series DVDs (various)
6 Tyco transforming train set
7 Optimus Prime Oral Care Station
Optimus Prime's Oral Care Station. CARE FOR MY ORALS, YOU.
--Polaris
Squeeze 'n' Blow Optimus Prime (it seriously does exist!) puts the
Optimus Prime oral care station to shame.
--GR Crosscut
Soundwave and Megatron placemat from Australia - seeing as I *have* the
Soundwave quilt-cover now! :)
--Raksha
The last seven stickers that my book needs!!!
--AxadayZero
That Tyco Train set. Since I was a kid I'd just look at it and knew I'd
never get it... but still dreamed.
--The Former Master Shrink
Ramjet toast cutters. They *exist*, dammit!
--Razorpack
[And from the "Dream on" pile...]
The Powermaster Optimus Prime puppet of season 5. Yes, I insist.
--Vicken
Decepticon Hair Gel, I bet nobody else said that.
--Tyler Ram
BWNeo Unicron prototype
--Guyzer 9x
His and hers Chief Giga + Chief Mega dress up costumes.
--Hellbat
Transformers plushies! :D BM Megatron plush that says: "All sparks will
be mine-muahahah!" when you press his tummy. BW Inferno that goes:
"Buuuuurn" when you tickle his midsection. An oh, so cuddly non-TM BW
Rattrap in rat mode with real whiskers! A plushie Soundwave that sings to
you in his monotone when you hug him... I could go on and on about
this! :D
--Windchaser/Cecilia
An Optimus PRIMAL Oral Care station.
--Finback
RAMJET: Eeeeeeeeew! Monkey breath!
DIRGE: And on THAT brilliant note, it's time to go to commercial.
THRUST: TRUKK NOT MONKEE!
DIRGE: *Sigh*
[Cut to commercials.]
==========================================================================
PART III: CARTOONS AND ANIMATED EPISODES
RAMJET: Hey hey, we're back!
DIRGE: Yep, and now we're here to present the Trannies for the
best and worst in Transformers cartoons.
THRUST: ALRIGHT! Woo hoo! Bring 'em on!
DIRGE: Wow, Ramjet ... I wouldn't have guessed that you would be
so ... ENTHUSIASTIC about this.
THRUST: Are you kidding? This is where we get to tear that "Robots
In Disguise" show a new exhaust port! I CAN'T WAIT!
DIRGE: Oh boy.
*** Best Single Episode or Multiple-Part Episode of the Year
1 A Test of Metal
1 Battle Protocol/An Explosive Situation
1 Bullet Train Rescue
1 Endgame
1 Peril from the Past
1 Power to Burn
1 Sky-Byte Does the Right Thing?
1 The Hunt for Black Pyramid
1 The Test
1 The Ultimate Battle Robot Warrior
1 Volcano
1 Wedge's Short Fuse
2 An Explosive Situation
2 Forced Fusion
2 Fortress Maximus/Koji Gets His Wish
2 Koji Gets His Wish
2 Skid-Z's Choice
2 Spychangers to the Rescue
3 Battle Protocol
4 Mirage's Betrayal
4 Side Burn's Obsession
4 Ultra Magnus: Forced Fusion
5 Fortress Maximus
5 Secret Weapon D-5
7 Ultra Magnus
8 The Fish Test
10 Commandos
19 The Decepticons
'The Decepticons'. They're baaaaaaaaaaaaack...
--Galvatron
RiD, "The Test". There has never been ANYTHING in Transformers that was
funnier than Decepticon traffic control. It gives those "SPEED LIMIT
ENFORCED BY AIRCRAFT" signs a whole new meaning.
--Charles "Griml0ck" Calhoun
"Legend of Black Pyramid" introduced Sky-byte, and the Predacon army was
never the same.
--Aaron F. Bourque
Skid-Z's Choice, for the sole reason that it has Skid-Z. Fact, it is the
only episode so far that has Skid-Z.
--David "Bluestreak7" Schulz
Secret Weapon D5. You go Grandpa! Actually, I got the biggest kick out of
seeing Gas Skunk with his helmet on. (I think it was him that I'm thinking
of)
--CLEAZER
"The Fish Test"- From the dippy concept of an on-line fish personality
test to the sight of a screaming Sky Byte running around with three
flaming, fake bullet trains strapped to his back, this embodies truly
embodies the very best that a translated Japanese TF parody has to offer.
--Iacon
[And a word from the Society of TransFans With Bad TV Reception:]
Cannot Comment, Robots In Disguise and Beast Machines are not due to be
aired in Australia any time in the future. :(
--Ark-Ivor
"Mega-Octane and the Mystery of the Multi-coloured Buttercups". That shows
my experience of the Robots In Disguise show.
--Joona I Palaste
I'm in the UK, often with nothing but a regular modem. Stop rubbing it in.
--Stuart Denyer
DIRGE: Alright!
RAMJET: YES! Decepticons rule!
THRUST: \/\/3 0\/\/N J00!
DIRGE: Oh, no...
THRUST