The Call
Copyright 2003, Robert A. Jung (rjung@mac.com)
All characters depicted or mentioned in this story are the trademarks
and/or copyrights of their respective holders, except for those that
aren't. Any resemblance to actual people, alive or deceased, is
coincidental, etc., etc. Geez, it's just a story, guys. Don't get too
uptight over it...
* * *
Megatron sighed.
Of the various roles he had taken in his years of existence --
gladiator, revolutionary, soldier, leader -- he had tackled each role with
unbridled zeal. He expected nothing less than total commitment from
himself, and quickly dominated each task with an energetic instinct that
had carried him well.
But this... this current situation... this was unnatural to him.
Megatron, Leader of the Decepticons. Megatron, Scourge of the
Autobots. Megatron, the Slag-Maker. Now reduced to nothing more than...
than...
"Arrrrgh!"
A half-dozen heads looked up in response.
"Perceptor!" Megatron shouted. "What's a word for 'someone stuck
waiting in a line'?"
The Autobot scientist actually paused for a second before responding.
"'Customer,' perhaps?"
"No, no, no..."
Optimus Prime spoke next. "'Patron'?"
"Nah."
"Perhaps," hissed Dinobot, "'client'."
"No -- I don't feel like any of those things..."
"It wouldn't be the right term, anyway," Starscream remarked, "since
you're not in a line."
"Thank you for stating the obvious," Megatron snarled. "I'm just
TIRED of this incessant waiting."
Megatron's Beast Wars analog spoke next. "As do the rest of us. I,
certainly, have far better things to do than to sit here and wait for them
to announce who will be the host for this year's little 'dog and pony'
show. But, alas, in the card game of life, we must all play the hands
dealt to us by Fate."
"Nice speech," Optimus Primal deadpanned. Beast Wars Megatron grinned
back in response.
Ignoring the exchange, Megatron snapped, "Spare me your pomposity,
saurian. How long have we been waiting already?"
"Fourteen hours, twenty-six minutes, and thirty-nine seconds,"
Perceptor said, then meekly added, "approximately."
A few stiffled sniggers quickly went around the room, and Armada
Optimus Prime stepped forward from the corner he was occupying. "If it
bothers you so much, Megatron, you could just leave."
"And forfeit my chance to the likes of you? Never!"
"Then shut up and wait already," Deathsarus rumbled lowly, idly
flicking a knife between his fingers.
Throwing a quick glance across the room at the titanic form of Omega
Supreme, Megatron held himself in check. The bouncer kept order in the
waiting room with a terse detatchment, and provoking his ire would
accomplish nothing.
Not looking up from his technical journal, Rhinox spoke next. "If
you're really bored, you could join the others in the back with a game of
Metal Mashers."
"Feh," spat Megatron. Rumble and Frenzy were a handful in and of
themselves, but they were absolutely insufferable now that they were
teamed against Cheetor and Hot Spot. The distant din of their
self-proclaimed "Ultimate Extreme Intergalactic Tournament of Champions,"
though mostly unobtrusive, was already enough for him to endure.
"Suit yourself."
"Soooo..." Sideburn spoke into the ensuing silence, "anyone wanna
guess who WILL get selected?"
"I'll cover any bet!" shouted Swindle.
"No thanks," said Starscream. "But I'm sure it WON'T be any of the
Optimuses -- none of them are charismatic enough for television."
Some of the Decepticons snickered. "Ain't that the truth," Robots In
Disguise's Scourge said.
"Count out Sky-Byte," added Depth Charge. "Nobody's going to want two
hours of haikus."
There was another round of laughter, while a wounded Sky-Byte
retorted, "you people have no appreciation for ART!"
"Not YOUR art, anyway," snorted Demolishor.
Big Convoy spoke next. "I don't care who it is, as long as it's not
Starscream,"
"Which one?" someone shouted.
"ANY of 'em!" Brawl yelled back.
Starscream seethed in fury as laughter shook the room. Even Megatron
joined in, relishing the sight of the Seeker taken down a notch.
The noise was abruptly cut by the sound of a slamming door. All heads
turned towards Rattrap, who entered with a smug grin. "Okay, youse bums!
We have a winnah!"
A murmur of voices quickly filled the room. "So who is it?" "Who'd
they pick?" "Is it me?"
The robotic rodent sauntered across the room, ignoring the ruckus,
clearly enjoying the attention as he stepped up to a door marked
"Housekeeping." With a dramatic flourish and a small bow, he opened the
door and poked in his head.
"EEEEEEK!"
"OOPS!" Rattrap slammed the door shut. "Sorry 'bout that!"
"You will PAY for that indignity, rodent!" cried a muffled voice from
within.
"Ah, go chase a stick, bird-dog!" retorted Rattrap. With exaggerated
nonchalence, he moved down along the wall to a nearby unmarked door.
Before he could reach it, however, the door flew open, and two mechanoids
jumped out.
"Uhhh... hi," stammered Springer. "Just, uh, just helping Arcee with,
uhm, with..."
"A loose torso plate?" Rattrap suggested.
The room rocked with raucous laughter. Springer glared at Rattrap,
but the Maximal merely looked back with doe-eyed innocence.
As the laughter died down, Rattrap spoke up again. "Okay, ladies and
gentlebots, if you haven't guessed by now, Arcee's gonna be hostin' this
year." With a slight leer, he added, "so, who ya gonna pick for your
co-host, as if we couldn't guess?"
Looking Rattrap straight in the eye, Arcee smiled innocently, then
replied, "Perceptor."
"WHAT?!" Springer yelped.
Ignoring him, Arcee stepped forward, and wrapped her hand around the
surprised Autobot's arm. "How fortuitous!" Perceptor gushed. "This is
most unexpected!"
"You can say that again," agreed Springer.
Stepping back, Arcee took her free hand and wrapped it around
Springer's arm. Still keeping her aura of sweet innocence, Arcee asked
Rattrap, "is it okay if I take this lunkhead, too?"
"If you wants him, you gots him," Rattrap replied, and added, "though
*I* sure don't see the appeal."
"Neither do I," confessed Arcee, as she dragged her two partners
towards the exit. From the back of the room, someone added, "at least
it's not another Scott McNeil job."
Watching the trio leave, Megatron asked, "So is that it? Can we go
now?"
"Not yet, Meggy-poo," said Rattrap. "First we gotta roll them
titles..."
The 2002
TTTTTTTT RRRRRR AA NNN NN NNN NN II EEEEEEE SSSSSS
TT RR RR AAAA NNNN NN NNNN NN II EE SS
TT RR RRR AA AA NNNNNNNN NNNNNNNN II EEEEE SSSSS
TT RR RR AA AA NN NNN NN NNN II EE SS
TT RR RR AA AAAAAA NN NN NN NN II EEEEEEE SSSSSS
Dropping a MOAB (Mother of All Ballots) on Transfans everywhere!
SLOW DISSOLVE TO
The INTERIOR of a large building. Translucent plastic PILLARS can be seen
in the back, GLOWING with an inner yellow light. Overhead, SWOOPING
ARCHES of chrome are seen, forming a SYMMETRIC pattern suggestive of
WAVES. The walls are an UNADORNED pale blue color; the VAGUE MODERNISTIC
DESIGN means this is either a new THEATER or an AIRPORT TERMINAL.
A small GLASS PODIUM stands in the center of the room. As the LIGHTS
RISE, PERCEPTOR walks out from behind a pillar at STAGE LEFT, SPRINGER
walks out from STAGE RIGHT, and ARCEE walks out from a CENTER column. The
three MEET at the podium.
ARCEE: Good evening! And welcome to the 2002 Trannies, the annual
celebration of the best and the worst in Transformers fandom!
(Applause)
SPRINGER: That's right, kids, it's another two hours of goofy
questions, goofier answers, a hodge-podge of free-for-all
comments, and too many bad jokes from the three of us.
PERCEPTOR: I fear I am not versed in the comedic skills.
ARCEE: Don't worry, Perceptor -- leave the bad jokes to Springer,
he's a certified expert in being laughed at.
SPRINGER: Hardy har har. You weren't laughing at me earlier.
ARCEE: That's because, in my mind, you're no longer "funny," and
are now simply "embarassing."
SPRINGER: Yeah? Then why drag me out here as well?
ARCEE: Because your presence means Perceptor and I look great by
comparison.
SPRINGER: The joke's on you, missy -- everyone knows the only reason
this show has hosts at all is so there's something to fill
the dead space between the questions.
PERCEPTOR: Like Steve Martin!
SPRINGER: Exactly.
ARCEE: Well, then, that makes you PERFECT for the job.
SPRINGER: Yeah, well, I CAN be a "wild and crazy guy"...
ARCEE: Actually, I envision you more as "the jerk."
SPRINGER: I LIKED that movie!
------------------------------
ARCEE: Moving right along... how many votes did we get this year,
Perceptor?
PERCEPTOR: Ah, this year there was a veritable bonanza of ballots
submitted this year -- a total of TWO HUNDRED AND THREE
ballots were received, setting a new record!
SPRINGER: Guess that streamlined ballot idea actually worked, eh?
ARCEE: It sure seems that way. So, who voted this time around?
PERCEPTOR: Ah, I have the list right here...
"The Mad Bomber" Bombshell (calgsev from telus.net)
'leta (jvdr5 from hotmail.com)
Aaron F. Bourque (aaronbourque from aol.com)
Aaron Hong, Spirit Force Red Ranger (kaenlee from hotmail.com)
Adam Safran (adamsafran from hotmail.com)
Airfox (airfox from cantv.net)
Alloran (Alloran22 from aol.com)
Andrew Crane (andrew from spiney.co.uk)
Ann-Marie Coffey (elita1 from muchomail.com)
Anon e Mouse Jr. (godzillafan from comcast.net)
Anonymous (thedecepticonmatrixofleadership from hotmail.com)
Anthony "Tonyfitz" Brucale (tonyfitz from mindspring.com)
asscheez (asscheez from hotmail.com)
Ben "Obsequiosity" Cremeens (obsequiosity from yahoo.com)
Billy Wade (billy from liveclub.zzn.com)
blackaricinia (blackaricinia from yahoo.com)
BLASTER (thundercracker01 from hotmail.com)
Blitz_64 (blitzz_64 from yahoo.com)
Bobbi Carothers (carother from psych.rochester.edu)
Brandon Williams (bwill from cogeco.ca)
Brian Blackwell (HatetheLove from aol.com)
Brian Downey (akuma_ku from hotmail.com)
Briphoon (ty from tfuniverse.net)
BWAAAA! (AKA The BWAAAAmeister) (cykeplus from yahoo.com)
Charlotte Brogden (cbrogden from s054.aone.net.au)
Chris Leazer (cleazer72 from yahoo.com)
Chris McFeely (mark from troy49.freeserve.co.uk)
Cobbicus Prime (CobbicusPrime from aol.com)
Conor E (conor-e from rogers.com)
Cullen (john_cullen_ from hotmail.com)
Dalarsco (sandy_brophy from hotmail.com)
Dancouga1 (Dancouga1 from cs.com)
Daniel "BlueBlaster" Karhunen (bluewhiteblaster from hotmail.com)
Daniel "Suspsy" Suh (danielmsuh from rogers.com)
Dark Prime/Transformer Mike (Cybertronianartifacts from yahoo.com)
DarkClaw (dkclaw from crosswinds.net)
Darrell Cobb (dfcobb from shaw.ca)
Darren Blair, AKA Firestorm (heimdallup from cs.com)
Dave Connell (kfgatri from rcn.com)
David "Bluestreak7" Schulz (MrSWFreak from aol.com)
David "Walky" Willis (wiigii from hotmail.com)
David Snoddy (davidasnoddy from hotmail.com)
Denyer (denyersarea from yahoo.com)
dirge (dn202 from ncf.ca)
Divefire (divefire from hotmail.com)
Don Ferguson (rodimus from mindspring.com)
Dunc 'Starscream' C (dc312 from cam.ac.uk)
enuex (enuex from hotmail.com)
Eric Schwartz (erics from coax.net)
Esquilax (Esquilax79 from hotmail.com)
Ethan Hammond (eshammond from worldnet.att.net)
Evan Johns (ejdaking from yahoo.com)
Excelon Zero (excelonzero from hotmail.com)
FantiSci (chris.mcglinchey from ntlworld.com)
Finback (finback from animail.net)
FlameStrike (flmestrike from ev1.net)
Fulcrum (grand_vizier from amish2000.com)
G. B. Blackrock (NicodemusLegend from cp.fuller.edu)
Gabi "T.M." D'Galvatron (gabitmd from zahav.net.il)
Galenraff (galenraff from aol.com)
Gekisou (cckhy from mbox2.singnet.com.sg)
Gene "Sixshot" Waltham (armourking7 from hotmail.com)
Goktimus Prime (goktimus from lycos.com)
GR Crosscut (gyarados_rage from hotmail.com)
Griffin (griffin from centrus.com.au)
Guyzer (Guyzer9x from aol.com)
Hooper_X (EmarZero from aol.com)
Horsetuna (horsetuna from hotmail.com)
hronmeer (hronmeer from hotmail.com)
Impactor (webmaster from wreckandrule.co.uk)
JasonPrime (jason_daniels75 from yahoo.com)
Jen Pacerpaw (wolf_pacer from hotmail.com)
Jetfire85 (jetfire85 from aol.com)
Joe "TV's Grady" Green (tvsgrady from aol.com)
John Romano (JRomano from uclink.berkeley.edu)
Jonathan Boetto / "Iacon" (iacon from sympatico.ca)
Jonathan Carter (carter_jh from yahoo.com)
Joona I Palaste (palaste from cc.helsinki.fi)
Julian Stimach (ultimateozaru from hotmail.com)
Kayevcee (norm.davidson from ntlworld.com)
Kevona (kevonavm from hotmail.com)
King of Pain (kingofpain26 from hotmail.com)
Krayt (macove from students.latrobe.edu.au)
lastmaximal (darkheart_22 from hotmail.com)
Laurie Edwards (endora60 from aol.com)
Lee Porter, Ark-Ivor (pizza from webace.com.au)
Legion (legion from lordrasp.net)
Liana Bluestar (liana_Bluestar from yahoo.com)
Liane "Tetra Reris" Elliot (tetrareris from yahoo.com)
Lightshield (jwallin from avsia.com)
Marc Graham (marc.graham from ntlworld.com)
Mardhen "Daiatlas" Bravo (mdbravo from lycos.com)
Mark A. Brown (mark.brown from cyberus.ca)
Mart "Kickback" leuvering (Mart_Leuvering from hotmail.com)
Mat Burton (mat2k1 from hotmail.com)
Matrix Dragon (Gundam_Sorceress from Hotmail.com)
Maxiewolf (tabatha from shoalhaven.net.au)
Maximus Primal (dkskingdom from gtcinternet.com)
MegatronG1 (biwg85 from hotmail.com)
member0 (member0 from mac.com)
Merytneith (merytneith from earthlink.net)
Mic "Hotmissile" Waters (pha99mjw from shef.ac.uk)
Michael Morbius (morbius from vcn.bc.ca)
Mike "Edwin" Boyle (magnus from mc.net)
Minion (batallion from hotmail.com)
Mirage (mirage from tfracetrack.com)
Moai Ou (amobley from neo.rr.com)
Mrhillz (Durron1138 from hotmail.com)
Nelson "Riptor One" Brewer (Riptor782 from aol.com)
Nemesis (kmprime21 from hotmail.com)
NeoDragon (Dragonfyre930 from yahoo.com)
NightViper (JGWitt84 from aol.com)
Nightwing_22 (laliberte.b from hfcrd.ab.ca)
Noble Kale (noblekale14 from aol.com)
Novalee (Novalee_Percefull from hotmail.com)
Omega (omega_omegason from hotmail.com)
Optimus Primevil (optimus_primevil from yahoo.com)
Patrick Wade (patrick.wade from sun.com)
Paul Frawley (y740 from hotmail.com)
Philcom (general_obsidian from hotmail.com)
Philip N. Zeman (pzeman from alteredstatesmag.com)
Phoenix (airazor88 from aol.com)
Pitten (Pitten_5 from hotmail.com)
Pretender Bumblebee (mrogers1 from optonline.net)
Princess Artemis (princess_artemis from msn.com)
Professor Smooth (ProfessorSmooth from MSN.com)
Prowl Pants (josephtoscano from hotmail.com)
Quag Prime (Quag_atschool from hotmail.com)
Rage (pained from whoever.com)
Raksha (Raksha from plumed-serpent.com)
randy gong (durandall from hotmail.com)
Raven2k (madsaiyan666 from aol.com)
Razorpack (Razorpack from hotmail.com)
Rebis (rebis from rocketmail.com)
reillyd (davidreilly from ozemail.com.au)
Richard Mistron (orioneos from sprynet.com)
Richard Todd (thetransformerscollector from yahoo.com)
Rick R. Mortis (rickr from ihug.com.au)
Rick/FortMacs (Extremeknight013 from aol.com)
Robert (r.yu from utoronto.ca)
robo_rob (galvatron536 from yahoo.com)
Ruseell (soundwave from iprimus.com.au)
Ryan "Darwinian Road Kill" Hawe (hryan from netinfo.ubc.ca)
Sailor Cybertron (nterrell from kiva.net)
Salt-Man Z (christopherhawks from hotmail.com)
Seawave (jedimasterqui_gonjinn from hotmail.com)
Senex Prime (cbooth from pattersonadcafe.com.au)
Sharkysparky (sharkysparky from tpg.com.au)
Sheba (shebakoby from shaw.ca)
Shiv'kala (n_blumeng from hotmail.com)
Silverfox (Silverfox from kabsi.at)
Sir Optimal Omega, IV (kremziek from mchsi.com)
Sir Raptor (sith_raptor2 from yahoo.com)
Sixswitch (dan from uipa.org)
Skids40578 (Templekn from aol.com)
Sky Shadow (skye_shadow2 from hotmail.com)
Skyflight (Skyflight from Decepticon-Empire.org)
Smokescreen (delserik from aol.com)
Snuf (tdenton from houston.rr.com)
Speedbreaker 1 (speedbreaker1 from alltel.net)
Srini Varanasi (svaranasi57 from hotmail.com)
Stanley Lui (stanley.lui from sympatico.ca)
Starscream (Starscream from coldhardslag.com)
Starscreamer (porter_ross from colstate.edu)
Stelartron (Arcee8201 from hotmail.com)
Stormy (decepticoncommand from hotmail.com)
Suzanne M. Ferree (suz from cyberspace.org)
T.H.C (Richard from RCardall.freeserve.co.uk)
Tai'Chara StarGazer (taichara from hotmail.com)
Tall Paul (paulcharlesworth from hotmail.com)
TF from The Moon (transformers from themoon.co.uk)
Thaddeus X. Cultt (cultt from adelphia.net)
The Critic (thecritic from telus.net)
The Former Master Shrink (mastershrink from aol.com)
Themis56 (themis56 from msn.com)
Thomas Hamann (hamann_td from yahoo.com)
Thundercracker1978 (acoleman1 from yahoo.com)
Thunderwing04 (Ottogunn from aol.com)
Thylacine 2000 (thytwothou from hotmail.com)
Tigerpaw28 (Tigerpaw28 from hotmail.com)
TJMD (tjmd from thetransformers.net)
Tom "Cliffjumper" Prankerd (Cliffjumper from tfdatabase.cjb.net)
Track Attack (trackattack from hellokitty.com)
Turbo Magnus (turbomagnus from excite.com)
Túrin (mormegil from knoledge.org)
Ty Stalnaker (TyGator from aol.com)
Tyler Ram (blitzwing2g from hotmail.com)
Ultimate Weapon (intrntlplayboy from yahoo.com)
VegetaPrime (wbolen from progressivetel.com)
Velvet Glove (velvetglove from kernowgirl.co.uk)
VERT (vert22 from hotmail.com)
VF1-Guy (mrardon from cadence.com)
VitaniCat (VitaniCat from juno.com)
Wavelength (wavelength8 from hotmail.com)
Wayne Dunne (thedunnester from hotmail.com)
Wayward (wayward from insecticons.com)
Weirdwolf and Monzo (weirdwolf from transformershomage.com)
Whirlwind (Todays_a_Gift from hotmail.com)
Winterblast aka Hot Rod (protoman from sympatico.ca)
Zacku (charaznable from hotmail.com)
Zargo (www.zargo from darksites.com)
Zobovor (Dave Edwards) (zobovor from aol.com)
Zodiac (whitbourne from hotmail.com)
SPRINGER: Dibs on not writing the thank-you notes.
ARCEE: When did you ever do that?
SPRINGER: Christmas 1987.
------------------------------
SPRINGER: So, is there anything else we need to cover before we get
started?
ARCEE: I can't think of anything.
PERCEPTOR: I do have a piece of trivia to share.
SPRINGER: Go for it, guy.
PERCEPTOR: The ORIGINAL choice of hosts for this year's Trannies was
supposed to be Carlos, Rad, and Alexis from the new
"Transformers: Armada" cartoon series.
ARCEE: Really? What made them change their minds?
PERCEPTOR: Apparently, news of the selection must have leaked out,
because soon afterwards the, uh... the ... death threats
began to arrive.
SPRINGER: Tough crowd.
ARCEE: Well, I'm glad our presence hasn't gotten anyone upset.
SPRINGER: Sure, Arcee, but that's because you're a female Autobot --
for a lot of these fanboys out there, you could have helped
shoot Optimus Prime in the movie, and they'd STILL love you.
ARCEE: Aren't you exaggerating just a tad there?
SPRINGER: Not really. Half these guys still haven't moved out of their
parents' basement, I'll bet.
ARCEE: Now THAT'S cruel.
SPRINGER: Eh, they can edit it out in post-production.
PERCEPTOR: Shall we get started, then?
ARCEE: Sounds great to me! Stay tuned, folks, because after this
quick break, we'll jump right into the 2002 Trannies!
SPRINGER: Huzzah, huzzah.
[Cut to commercials.]
==========================================================================
PART I: CHARACTERS
ARCEE: Well, guys, are we ready to begin?
PERCEPTOR: Affirmative!
SPRINGER: Hey, I was ready back in March.
ARCEE: Don't you start...
*** Absolutely the Most Favorite Character of All Time
1 Aimless (Nebulan)
1 Big Daddy
1 Bombshell
1 Cryotek
1 Demolishor
1 Flywheels
1 Goldbug
1 Groove
1 Inferno (orig.)
1 Koji
1 Laserbeak
1 Metalhawk
1 Mindwipe
1 Onslaught
1 Runway
1 Scavenger (Armada)
1 Scourge (orig.)
1 Sky Shadow
1 Swoop
1 Terrorsaur (BW)
1 Tigerhawk
1 Triggerhappy
1 Weirdwolf
1 Wreck-Gar
2 Abominus
2 Cheetor
2 Doubledealer
2 First Aid
2 Frenzy
2 Jetstorm (BM)
2 Magmatron (Beast Wars Neo)
2 Misfire
2 Prowl (RiD)
2 Sideways (Armada)
2 Silverbolt (orig.)
2 Sixshot
2 Skyquake
2 Snarl (Dinobot)
2 Swindle
2 Trailbreaker (orig.)
3 Astrotrain
3 Beachcomber (orig.)
3 Bludgeon
3 Blurr
3 Computron
3 Dead End (orig.)
3 Fireflight
3 God Ginrai (Masterforce)
3 Hot Shot (Armada)
3 Hound
3 Motormaster
3 Obsidian (BM)
3 Octopunch
3 Predaking
3 Punch-Counterpunch
3 Red Alert (orig.)
3 Rumble
3 Scourge (RiD)
3 Seaspray
3 Sky Lynx
3 Spinister
3 Tarantulas
3 Victory Leo (Victory)
3 Wheelie
4 Blitzwing
4 Devastator
4 Hot Spot (orig.)
4 Kup
4 Sandstorm (orig.)
4 Sideswipe (orig.)
4 Silverbolt (BW/BM)
4 Star Saber (Victory)
5 Impactor (UK comics)
5 Inferno (BW)
5 Ironhide (orig.)
5 Kickback
5 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
5 Side Burn
5 Ultra Magnus (RiD)
6 Rampage (BW)
6 Shrapnel
7 Bruticus (orig.)
7 Rhinox
8 Depth Charge
8 Fortress Maximus
8 Mirage (orig.)
8 Nightbeat (orig.)
8 Omega Supreme
8 Smokescreen (orig.)
8 Thunderwing
8 Tracks
8 Unicron
9 Arcee
9 Blackarachnia
9 Ravage
9 Scorponok (orig.)
9 Skids
10 Blaster
10 Perceptor (orig.)
10 Skywarp (orig.)
11 Thundercracker
12 Bluestreak
12 Bumblebee
12 Death's Head (UK comics)
12 Springer
12 Wheeljack
14 Ratchet
16 Optimus Primal
16 Shockwave
19 Cyclonus (orig.)
20 Prowl (orig.)
21 Rattrap
24 Waspinator
25 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
32 Megatron (orig.)
32 Sky-Byte
33 Galvatron (orig.)
34 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
35 Dinobot
36 Jazz
45 Soundwave (orig.)
54 Megatron (BW/BM)
66 Grimlock (orig.)
76 Starscream (orig.)
130 Optimus Prime (orig.)
Optimus f*&kin Prime
--Dancouga1
Sky-Byte is just the most lovable TF ever. That's right, I'm a burly 260
lb. six foot manly man and I said Sky-Byte is lovable. That's just how
cool he really is.
--Ben "Obsequiosity" Cremeens
Cyclonus. No Starscream! No Cyclonus! No ... You had to put the hardest of
all questions first, didn't you?
--Silverfox
Come on, who doesn't love the Throttlebots? Goldbug and his friends are
really cool! Well, except for the fact that the toys sucked. And I don't
even know the names of the other Throttlebots. Also, they were ultimately
stupid in "Headmasters"... *vote changed to Insecticons*
--Mart "Kickback" leuvering
Everyone will vote for Starscream and/or Optimus Prime. Therefore I put
Punch-Counterpunch at the first place to create some variety in the
results.
--Joona I Palaste
Definitely Hot Rod. The only transformer in cartoon history whose
psychiatric bill had to be a mile high.
--Pitten
SPRINGER: Gosh, I never saw that coming.
ARCEE: He *is* the perennial favorite.
PERCEPTOR: And he sets a standard for all of us to aspire to.
SPRINGER: Hey, I like the Big Red guy, but I sure don't aspire to be
like him.
ARCEE: True, but we like you anyway.
------------------------------
*** Favorite Character(s), any Faction(s)
1 Air Defense Team
1 Airazor
1 Apeface
1 Astrotrain
1 Beachcomber
1 Big Daddy
1 Blast Off
1 Blot
1 Blurr (Armada)
1 Brainstorm
1 Braver (Victory)
1 Break (Beast Wars Neo)
1 Breakdown
1 Buster Witwicky
1 Buzzsaw (orig.)
1 Chromedome
1 Clench/Colossus
1 Cliffjumper
1 Cloudburst
1 Cloudraker
1 Councillor Tomaandi (UK comics)
1 Cryotek
1 Donny Finkleberg/Robot Master
1 Doublecross
1 Drag Strip
1 Drancron (Beast Wars Neo)
1 Dreadwind
1 Elita-1 (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
1 Fangry
1 Fastlane
1 Fireflight
1 Firestar (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
1 First Aid
1 Fortress Maximus (orig.)
1 Galvatron (Beast Wars Second)
1 Grapple
1 Hellbat (Victory)
1 High Beam
1 Hook
1 Hot Spot
1 Huffer
1 Hun-Grrr
1 Jhiaxus
1 Lightspeed
1 Long Haul
1 Lord Straxus
1 Megatron (RiD)
1 Metalhawk (Masterforce)
1 Metroplex
1 Midnight Express
1 Moonracer (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
1 Needlenose
1 Nightracer (BotCon '95 exclusive toy)
1 Octane
1 Octopunch
1 Omega Prime (Optimus Prime (RiD) + Ultra Magnus (RiD))
1 Pipes
1 Poison Bite
1 Pounce
1 Powerdasher
1 Punch-Counterpunch
1 Quake
1 Quickswitch
1 Ratbat
1 Razorclaw (orig.)
1 Reflector
1 Runabout
1 Runamuck
1 Runway
1 Scarem
1 Scavenger (Armada)
1 Seaspray
1 Shrapnel
1 Sideburn/Speedbreaker
1 Silverbolt (orig.)
1 Sinnertwin
1 Skullgrin
1 Skyquake
1 Slugfest
1 Snapdragon
1 Sonic Bomber
1 Sparkplug (Armada)
1 Spectro
1 Spinister
1 Spittor
1 Spot
1 Squawktalk
1 Starscream (Armada)
1 Streetwise
1 Sunstreaker
1 Superion
1 Sureshock
1 Tankor
1 Tigatron
1 Trailbreaker
1 Triggerhappy
1 Trypticon
1 Unicron
1 Unnamed purple Decepticon Seeker (from "More Than Meets the Eye")
1 Victory Leo (Victory)
1 Warpath
1 Wheelie
1 Wideload
1 Wingspan
2 Axer
2 Beta (from "Forever is a Long Time Coming")
2 Brawn
2 Cindy Newell (UK comics)
2 Darkwing
2 Deathsaurus/Deszarus (Victory)
2 Defcon/Devcon (from "The Gambler")
2 Demolishor
2 Devastator
2 Emirate Xaaron
2 Flywheels
2 Frenzy
2 Gears
2 Inferno (orig.)
2 Leozak (Victory)
2 Megatron (Armada)
2 Misfire
2 Motormaster
2 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
2 Optimus Prime/Fire Convoy (RiD)
2 Overkill
2 Predaking
2 Rack 'n Ruin (UK comics)
2 Scattershot
2 Sky Lynx
2 Sky Shadow
2 Strika
2 Terrorsaur
2 Thrust (orig.)
2 Wreck-Gar
2 X-Brawn
3 Blaster
3 Blitzwing
3 Blurr (orig.)
3 Chromia
3 Dead End (orig.)
3 Impactor (UK comics)
3 Kup
3 Laserbeak
3 Mindwipe
3 Prowl (RiD)
3 Skids
3 Sludge
3 Smokescreen (orig.)
3 Thrust (BM)
3 Thunderwing
3 Tracks
3 Ultra Magnus (RiD)
4 Arcee
4 Cheetor
4 God Ginrai (Masterforce)
4 Hot Shot (Armada)
4 Jetstorm (BM)
4 Omega Supreme
4 Onslaught
4 Perceptor (orig.)
4 Scourge (orig.)
4 Scourge (RiD)
4 Sideswipe (orig.)
4 Sideways (Armada)
4 Snarl
4 Star Saber
4 Wheeljack
5 Bluestreak
5 Botanica
5 Ironhide (orig.)
5 Jetfire/Skyfire (orig.)
5 Ratchet
5 Rumble
5 Side Burn/Speedbreaker
5 Slag
5 Swindle
5 Swoop
5 Thundercracker (orig.)
6 Bludgeon
6 Mirage
6 Silverbolt (BW/BM)
7 Death's Head
7 Depth Charge
7 Obsidian
7 Scorponok (orig.)
8 Bumblebee
8 Hound
8 Nightbeat
8 Rampage (BW)
8 Shockwave
8 Springer
9 Optimus Primal
9 Ravage
9 Rhinox
10 Blackarachnia
10 Cyclonus (orig.)
10 Prowl (orig.)
10 Tarantulas
11 Inferno (BW)
12 Skywarp (orig.)
12 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
13 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
14 Jazz
14 Rattrap
14 Sky-Byte (RiD)
17 Megatron (orig.)
18 Galvatron (orig.)
19 Waspinator
20 Dinobot
23 Grimlock (orig.)
25 Megatron (BW/BM)
25 Soundwave
28 Starscream (orig.)
30 Optimus Prime (orig.)
Optimus, blah, blah, blah. I like him, okay? I know he usually wins, but
so what, he's Prime and he once said "boobies". Therefore he wins.
--Shiv'kala
The Megatrons. Yes, "Megatrons". No, not just G1 Megatron, I mean EACH
AND EVERY true embodiment of villany and martial superiority that has
borne the name, generation after generation, toyline after toyline, in
perpetuity and vigorous intellectual property trademark protection
forevermore! Ha ha ha-- take THAT, Title 15 of the United States Code!
--Merytneith
Um... darn-near the entire Decepticon fleet and most of the Predacons,
too. (So I'm not picky...)
--Wayward
Rob, Rob, Rob. You're still not putting size limits on this thing? Well,
you asked for it...
--Joona I Palaste
So what *is* the difference between this question and the last one?
--Velvet Glove
[Ask Joona to explain it. B-]
I'd have to go with Blackarachnia. Anyone with so fanboyish a design who
receives *that* much character development deserves some kind of award.
--Pitten
Flywheels, because honestly, who else is going to vote for him?
--Conor E
PERCEPTOR: "Boobies"?
ARCEE: I refuse to say anything on that topic.
SPRINGER: Well, there goes *my* joke.
ARCEE: That's why.
------------------------------
*** Favorite Autobot/Cybertron/Maximal
1 Apelinq (BotCon 2000 exclusive)
1 Beta (from "Forever is a Long Time Coming")
1 Defcon/Devcon (from "The Gambler")
1 Doubledealer
1 Gears
1 Guzzle
1 Minerva (Masterforce)
1 Optimus Prime (Armada)
1 Pipes
1 Powerglide
1 Quickswitch (orig.)
1 Roadbuster
1 Scavenger (Armada)
1 Tailgate (orig.)
1 Tonbot (Beast Wars Neo)
2 Alpha Trion
2 Apache (Beast Wars II)
2 Big Convoy (Beast Wars Neo)
2 Big Daddy
2 Brainstorm
2 Break (Beast Wars Neo)
2 Chromia
2 Gorillabot
2 Hoist (orig.)
2 Hot Shot (Armada)
2 Huffer
2 Jetfire/Skyfire (orig.)
2 Lightspeed
2 Road Rage (red Tracks reissue)
2 Sludge
2 Swoop
2 Trailbreaker (orig.)
2 Wheelie
2 Windcharger
2 Wreck-Gar
3 Blades (orig.)
3 Computron
3 Emirate Xaaron
3 Fireflight
3 Hot Spot (orig.)
3 Optimus Prime (RiD)/Fire Convoy
3 Primus
3 Punch/Counterpunch
3 Rescue Roy
3 Streetwise
3 Tigerhawk
3 Victory Leo (Victory)
4 Blurr (orig.)
4 Brawn
4 Hardhead (orig.)
4 Optimal Optimus
4 Red Alert (Armada)
4 Tracks
4 Warpath
5 God Ginrai
5 Inferno (orig.)
5 Metalhawk (Masterforce)
5 Snarl
5 Sunstreaker
5 Tigatron
5 X-Brawn (RiD)/Wildrider
6 Beachcomber
6 Impactor (UK comics)
6 Metroplex
6 Sideburn
6 Slag
7 Arcee
7 Kup
7 Prowl (RiD)
7 Sandstorm (orig.)
7 Seaspray
7 Silverbolt (orig.)
7 Sky Lynx
7 Ultra Magnus (RiD)
8 Fortress Maximus
8 Red Alert (orig.)
8 Smokescreen (orig.)
8 Star Saber (Victory)
9 Cheetor
10 Blackarachnia
10 Hound
10 Nightbeat
11 Bluestreak
11 Ironhide (orig.)
11 Springer
13 Omega Supreme
13 Perceptor (orig.)
14 Blaster
14 Depth Charge
14 Sideswipe (orig.)
15 Skids
17 Silverbolt (BW/BM)
18 Rhinox
19 Ratchet
21 Mirage (orig.)
22 Bumblebee
23 Wheeljack
31 Prowl (orig.)
36 Optimus Primal
41 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
49 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
51 Jazz
57 Rattrap
76 Dinobot
86 Grimlock (orig.)
159 Optimus Prime (orig.)
Vote Optimus Prime for President in 2004!
--"The Mad Bomber" Bombshell
Rattrap's the best ever goodguy. Why? Because he hates everybody. And
unlike Gears, he's *funny*.
--Blitz_64
Guzzle, because he's a tank.
--Thomas Hamann
It's even hard for me, a die hard Decepticon fan, to deny the utter
coolness of Jazz.
--BWAAAA!
Ultra Magnus (just cuz no one else is gonna vote for the poor chap...)
--Adam Safran
*Holds up her 'Official Ultra Magnus Fan Club' button* Heh. ^_^
--Stelartron
I just love X-Brawn's speech pattern. More TF's should use the word
"ornery".
--Ben "Obsequiosity" Cremeens
SPRINGER: An "Ultra Magnus Fan Club"? Wow, it really does take all
kinds.
ARCEE: Don't be jealous.
SPRINGER: Jealous? ME? That's a joke right?
PERCEPTOR: I don't think so, since it didn't have a punch line.
ARCEE: Just like this skit.
------------------------------
*** Favorite Decepticon/Destron/Predacon
1 Apeface
1 Blot
1 Browning (Masterforce)
1 Demolishor
1 Diagnostic Drone
1 Drancron
1 Galvatron/Devil Gigatron (RiD)
1 Grimlock (from "Transformers: Generation 1")
1 Long Haul
1 Megatron (RiD)
1 Menasor
1 Obsidian (BM)
1 Onslaught
1 Ransack (G2)
1 Runabout
1 Scavenger (orig.)
1 Sideways
1 Skyjack
1 Spinister
1 Starscream (Machine Wars)
1 Terrorsaur
1 Thrust (Armada)
1 Trypticon
1 Venom
2 Battletrap
2 Black Zarak (Masterforce)
2 Bombshell
2 Carnivac
2 Gigastorm (Beast Wars Second)
2 Kickback
2 Liokaiser (Victory)
2 Lord Straxus
2 Octane
2 Overlord (Masterforce)
2 Ratbat
2 Reflector
2 Runamuck
2 Scorponok (BW)
2 Sky Shadow
2 Slugfest
3 Astrotrain
3 Axer
3 Bonecrusher (orig.)
3 Brawl
3 Dead End (orig.)
3 Deftwing
3 Dirge
3 Doubledealer
3 Flywheels
3 Magmatron (Beast Wars Neo)
3 Mindwipe
3 Motormaster
3 Octopunch
3 Quickstrike
3 Soundblaster (Headmasters)
3 Squawktalk
3 Weirdwolf
4 Cryotek
4 Dinobot
4 Jetstorm (BM)
4 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
4 Rampage (orig.)
4 Scourge (orig.)
4 Thrust (BM)
5 Devastator
5 Frenzy
5 Jhiaxus
5 Predaking
5 Shrapnel
5 Skyquake
6 Bruticus (orig.)
6 Megatron (Armada)
6 Sixshot
7 Breakdown
7 Starscream (Armada)
8 Swindle (orig.)
8 Thunderwing
11 Bludgeon
12 Blitzwing
12 Inferno (BW)
14 Blackarachnia
19 Scorponok (orig.)
20 Rampage (BW)
20 Rumble
20 Scourge (RiD)/Black Convoy (Car Robots)
21 Tarantulas
22 Thundercracker
27 Ravage
28 Cyclonus (orig.)
33 Skywarp (orig.)
42 Shockwave
44 Galvatron (orig.)
68 Waspinator
89 Megatron (orig.)
100 Sky-Byte
104 Soundwave (orig.)
125 Megatron (BW/BM)
135 Starscream (orig.)
I like G1 Starscream more and more these days. He's just so neurotic. He
could get his own sitcom, easy, except for being dead.
--Túrin
Honourable mention: Rampage (Beast Wars). Just for his laugh.
--Rage
Rumble's such an adorable little punk--sometimes I just wanna leap into
the show itself and smack him on the bottom, the snarky little jerk.
--Themis56
Jhiaxus: Ol' pun-moniker himself... of course, his being a psychotic piece
of evil goes strongly in his favour as well... :D
--Denyer
Blitzwing, Thunderwing, Predaking. I decided to go with the 'ing' theme.
:)
--Tyler Ram
Alternately, Deftwing and Skyquake, to show love to some people nobody
remembers.
--Hooper_X
SPRINGER: Yep, they don't get more obscure than that.
PERCEPTOR: Actually, I believe you can -- using a points-based
measurement system for character obscurity, I calculate that
a brief list of more obscure characters would include
Neo-Wheel, Neutro, Treader, Airwave, Blackout and Spaceshot,
Missilebull, and Hairsplitter.
ARCEE: You had to ask.
SPRINGER: And by an amazing coincidence, those are also the names of
the next batch of Armada toys.
------------------------------
*** Favorite Gestalt/Combiner Team
1 Darkwing/Dreadwind/Dreadwing
1 Optimus Prime (Armada)/Jetfire (Armada)
1 Spike/Cerebros/Fortress Maximus
1 Star Saber/Victory Leo/Victory Saber
2 Beastbox/Squawktalk/Squawkbox
2 McDonalds Happy Meal Autobot combiner
2 Multiforce/Landcross (Victory)
2 Tripticon
3 Dinoforce/Dinoking (Victory)
3 Flywheels (Duocon)
3 Magmatron (Beast Wars Neo)
3 Race Team/Skyboom
3 Trainbots/Raiden (Headmasters)
4 Grand Slam/Raindance/Slamdance
5 Space Team/Requiem Blaster
6 Brainmasters/Road Caesar (Victory)
6 Tripredacus
8 Air Defense Team/Star Saber
8 Sixliner (Operation Combination)
9 Sixturbo (Operation Combination)
11 Optimus Prime (RiD)/Ultra Magnus (RiD)/Omega Prime
12 Magnaboss
13 Breastforce/Liokaiser (Victory)
14 Pretender Monsters/Monstructor
16 Seacons/Piranacon
20 Build King (Car Robots)/Landfill (Robots in Disguise)
23 Street Action Team/Perceptor
25 Commandos/Ruination
26 Terrorcons/Abominus
56 Technobots/Computron
67 Protectabots/Defensor
74 JRX (Car Robots)/Rail Racer (Robots in Disguise)
79 Stunticons/Menasor
95 Aerialbots/Superion
128 Combaticons/Bruiticus
139 Predacons/Predaking
218 Constructicons/Devastator
I'm going mainly on looks and badass qualities in this case. Devastator
has to take the prize because the movie actually made him look like the
second biggest threat the good guys ever faced, which is something a
couple years of TV programming didn't quite accomplish.
--Eric Schwartz
My vote for [Armada] Perceptor is going to be a lonely one.
--Snuf
McArmadabots? TOTEM POLE OF POWER.
--Finback
Liocaeser. The name Breastforce not withstanding, this guy kicks ass, even
Star Sabre's. This guy is cool.
--Gekisou
Defensor: A good balance between Computron's overanalyzing and Superion's
ummm, underanalzying. Plus, he doesn't run head-on into nukes. That's
always a plus.
--Thunderwing04
Robots In Disguise Ruination (Urban Repaint Edition) - has to be the
coolest color scheme for a combiner team yet
--reillyd
RID Omega Prime, because any TF combiner that sounds like Dudley Do-Right
is okay with me!
--Mike "Edwin" Boyle
SPRINGER: Optimus Prime plus Ultra Magnus equals Dudley Do-Right --
sounds good to me!
ARCEE: That's not our Optimus or Magnus, genius.
SPRINGER: Hey, they share the name, that's close enough.
------------------------------
*** Favorite Non-Toy Character
1 Baghdad (from Transformers #62)
1 Cyber City Welcome Drone
1 Daniel Witwicky
1 Kelly
1 Mecha-squid (from "Transformers: The Movie")
1 "O" (Buster Witwicky's friend)
1 Pentagon Secretary (from "Transformers: Generation One")
1 Rad
1 Seizer
1 Spanner
1 Super Megatron (from Return of Convoy/Battlestars)
1 The Ark
1 Tripredacus Council
2 Chameleon (from "Deadly Games")
2 Cindy Newell
2 Emusa/Zone Bunny (Transformers: Zone)
2 Energon well's final protector (from Transformers #70)
2 Fred
2 Koji
2 Macabre (UK comics)
2 Raoul
2 Tornitron (from "Call of the Primitives")
2 Violenjiger (Transformers: Zone)
2 Wipe Out
3 Abdul Fakhadi (from "Five Faces of Darkness", part 5)
3 Boltax (from Transformers #48)
3 Donny Finkleberg/Robot Master
3 Dr. Archeville
3 Firestar (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
3 Flame
3 G.B. Blackrock
3 Hopper
3 Judge Deliberata (from "Five Faces of Darkness")
3 Kranix
3 Marissa Fairborne
3 Mindset (from Transformers: Generation 2 #9)
3 Octus
3 Rook
3 Rotorbolt
3 Sentinel Prime
3 The Swarm
3 Undead Cybertronians (from "City Of Fear")
3 Vector Sigma (from "The Key to Vector Sigma")
4 Alexis
4 Carlos
4 Kremzeek! (from "Kremzeek!")
4 Liege Maximo (from Transformers: Generation 2 #12)
4 Moonracer (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
4 Rack 'n Ruin
5 Chip Chase
6 Orion Pax (from "War Dawn")
7 Alligator Sharkticons (from Transformers: The Movie)
7 Carly Witwicky
7 Chromia
8 Centurion (UK comics)
8 Sparkplug Witwicky
9 Circuit Breaker
10 Beta (from "Forever is a Long Time Coming")
10 Primus
12 Autobot X (from "Autobot Spike")
15 Spike Witwicky
15 Straxus
16 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
17 Diagnostic Drone
18 Scrounge (from Transformers #17)
19 Elita-One (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
21 T-AI
22 Transmutate (from "Transmutate")
27 Quintessons
31 Botanica
45 Death's Head (UK comics)
45 Impactor (UK comics)
46 Defcon/Devcon (from "The Gambler")
50 Emirate Xaaron
57 Alpha Trion
70 Jhiaxus
149 Unicron
Unicron. I'm voting for him cause in about six months he won't be
applicable.
--Speedbreaker 1
Wrecker Skywarp. As overused as the Deluxe Jetstorm mold has become, it
was a sweet colour scheme.
--Ryan "Darwinian Road Kill" Hawe
Arcee, because weird goth spider repaints don't count.
--Matrix Dragon
Now that it's been a few years since the BM controversy, most of it
doesn't seem like that big of a deal. Except for one thing - Botanica, the
world's first and last plant Transformer. It must have taken somebody with
some serious iron-cast manifolds to pitch that idea... ;-)
--Jonathan Boetto / "Iacon"
Although the plebs may all vote for Unicron, *nobody* shall ever vote for
Daniel Witwicky
--Goktimus Prime
What's that? Ironhide did have a toy? If that piece of junk could pass
as Ironhide then my dust buster could easily pass as Unicron.
--Tyler Ram
[And from the "REALLY obscure characters" pile...]
Nameless Golden Colored Autobot Freedom Fighter In "Forever Is A Long Time
Coming", Except Not *That* One, The *Other* One. Yeah, you heard me.
--Merytneith
The female Junkion who hangs out with Wreck-Gar in 'The Big Broadcast of
2006'
--Noble Kale
The punk with the pink hair in "Make Tracks"
--Michael Morbius
Geez, by this time next year, the only non-toy characters will be
Deceptitran and Dr. Archeville...
--DarkClaw
PERCEPTOR: I may be mistaken, but wouldn't this be a good thing?
SPRINGER: That depends on whether we end up with toys like Jhiaxus the
battle tank and Defcon the hypersonic jet, or Jhiaxus the BMX
bike and Defcon the skateboard.
ARCEE: I don't think you should be giving Hasbro any ideas.
------------------------------
*** Character You Want To Be Friends With
1 Arcee
1 B.B. (Beast Wars Second)
1 Big Daddy
1 Blackarachnia
1 Blaster
1 Bluestreak
1 Bombshell
1 Breakdown
1 Buzzer-Bot
1 Chip Chase
1 Chromia
1 Circuit Breaker
1 Cyclonus (orig.)
1 Darkwing
1 Depth ChargeÂ
1 Fireflight
1 Fred
1 G.B. Blackrock
1 Galvatron (orig.)
1 Gears
1 Gorillabot
1 Hound
1 Hubcap
1 Impactor (UK comics)
1 Jetfire/Skyfire
1 Long Haul
1 Minerva (Masterforce)
1 Mirage
1 Nightscream
1 Onslaught
1 Perceptor (Armada)
1 Rampage (orig.)
1 Ratchet
1 Red Alert (Armada)
1 Silverbolt (BW/BM)
1 Sixshot
1 Sludge
1 Starscream (Armada)
1 Streetwise
1 Swindle
1 Tigatron
1 Tracks
1 Trypticon
1 Ultra Magnus
1 Wreck-Gar
2 Beachcomber
2 Brawn
2 Death's Head (UK comics)
2 Dinobot
2 Fortress Maximus
2 Highwire
2 Hot Shot (Armada)
2 Kup
2 Optimus Primal
2 Shockwave
2 Sideswipe
2 Skywarp
2 Springer
2 Starscream (orig.)
2 Wheeljack
3 Prowl (orig.)
3 Sky Byte
3 Sky Lynx
3 Soundwave
3 Swoop
4 Skids
4 Unicron
4 Waspinator
5 Bumblebee
5 Megatron (orig.)
5 Rhinox
5 Sideburn (RiD)
6 Grimlock
6 Optimus Prime (orig.)
7 Rattrap
8 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
23 Jazz
Jazz has one great taste in music, but I'd drive him off the road if he
played any of Eminem's songs.
--Zacku
Any Minibot, so I wouldn't feel THAT small and inferior.
--David Snoddy
I abstain from this question. Every character is involved in a
millions-of-years-old war. By befriending any of them, I would be
subjected to their partisan politics and arguments, and - if watching the
exploits of Spike, Sparkplug, and Koji are any lessons - I'd become caught
in the middle of firefights.
--Galenraff
Long Haul! Besides, no one else will choose him, so I get him all to
myself.
--Wayward
I think it would be hard to be friends with anyone who is fifty feet tall
and weighs half a ton. How did Spike ever manage to survive all these
years and not get accidently stepped on?
--randy gong
Buzzer-Bot, from the Go-Go-Go-Bots. He's Kid Waspinator. And he's glad ta
meetcha!
--Finback
Blackarachnia. With benefits.
--David "Walky" Willis
PERCEPTOR: "With benefits"? I don't understand.
SPRINGER: I'll explain later.
ARCEE: You're certainly qualified to...
------------------------------
SPRINGER: Ah, the FUN question!
*** Character You Most Want to Be Lovers(!) With
1 Alexis
1 Andes girl (from "Fire on the Mountain")
1 Big Daddy
1 Buster Witwicky
1 Carlos
1 Cheetor
1 Cindy Newell
1 Circuit Breaker
1 Dead End
1 Depth Charge
1 Dr. Biggles-Jones
1 Elita-1 (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
1 Frenzy
1 Galvatron (Beast Wars Second)
1 Jazz
1 Koji's mom
1 Marissa Fairborne
1 Metalhawk (Masterforce)
1 Motormaster
1 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
1 Nimue (from "A Decepticon Raider In King Arthur's Court")
1 Optimus Prime (orig.)
1 Prowl (orig.)
1 Raoul
1 Ravage
1 Rescue Roy
1 Rhinox
1 Rumble
1 Side Burn
1 Springer
1 Streetwise
1 The Baroness (from G.I. Joe and the Transformers)
1 Trypticon
1 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
1 Ultra Magnus (RiD)
1 Victory Leo
1 Watch Bot (from Transformers: The War Within #2)
2 Airrazor
2 Astoria Carlton-Ritz (from "The Girl who Loved Powerglide")
2 Botanica
2 Charlene
2 Grimlock
2 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
2 Hot Shot (Armada)
2 Jessie
2 Pentagon Secretary (from "Transformers: Generation One")
2 Rattrap
2 Silverbolt (BW/BM)
2 Starscream (orig.)
4 Junko/Kelly (RiD)
6 Minerva (Masterforce)
8 Carly Witwicky
11 T-AI
12 Arcee
17 Blackarachnia
Blackarachnia. Any more questions?
I will shoot anybody who answers this question "Alexis"
Alexis. I can pretend I'm 14, and she can pretend she's... uh, not.
[*Bang!*]
No, don't go there.
BW Silverbolt -- He's all romantic and white knight-y 'n stuff...
*romantic sigh*
In the interests of my own sanity, I think I'll pass on this one.
Circuit Breaker. Because she seemed kinda kinky. Yes, she was also a
little psycho, but surely not as much as my last girlfriend.
Eww!
Carly's married, Minerva hangs out with the geeks Go-Shooter and Hosehead,
and let's just say Alexis was a man once.
Trypticon -- Who wants "Sex and the City" when you can have "Sex WITH the
City"? ;-)
Dude, that's just sick!
I'll have to go with Rumble. He's more man than Spike, Chip and Sparkplug
combined!
Oh, c'mon Rob, why do you even bother? You *know* who's going to win this
category. I can hardly bring myself to vote for the sheer fact that
Blackarachnia's appeal wins out EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Why hasn't she been
disallowed yet? Not only is it ridiculous, it's perverte, disgusting, and
continues destroy any faith I once had in men. With that said, Ultra
Magnus. Many, many times.
I'll leave this to the more deranged Transformer fans...
Astoria. I like my women like I like my pudding, thick and rich.
Oh dear. Very sad. And not in a 'my goldfish has died' sense!
I'm going to say Jessie from the G1 comic. Have you seen the cover to
issue #47?
You people sicken me.
Buster Witwicky. With that pink shirt he's gotta be gay too ;)
I find this question disgusting, personally. Who in their right mind would
want to have a relationship with a cartoon character? Ugh, I don't even
want to think about it. Now if you excuse me, I must go back to lusting
after Emma Frost.
[And from the ever-popular "Naked Lust" pile...]
*grins* Eh heh heh. I'm going to be given so many disturbed stares for
this, but...Dead End. Oooooh yeah. A hunka hunka burnin' love. Come to
Momma. *coughs* I mean, normally quiet, gloomy guys like him were the type
of guy that I would find incredibly attractive in normal life so naturally
I would be attracted to a hottie like him....
--VitaniCat
Obviously, I could give some standard answer like "Tracks", but I think
I'll go with Side Burn. He's big, he's hot, he's red, he's got exposed
bits, and he loves you. Especially when you're pressing down his...
Whadoyoumean, this is not the "Which Transformer would you love to have as
a vehicle?"-question?
--Thomas Hamann
"Plumed Serpent seeks eligible Decepticon command figure with whom to
conquer the galaxy. Must be charismatic, self-assured, powerful,
intelligent, calm, resolute, and able to display surprising insight and
benevolence at just the right moments. Blue optics okay as long as you
have a crystal ball of the same color imbedded in your chest."
Translation: BW2 Galvatron
--Raksha
Jazz. As I say every year, he has such a great personality combined with
style and a DEAD SEXY voice. I love you, Jazz...too bad you A) aren't
real, b) a million times bigger than I am, and c) I don't think my family
would spring for me dating a robot. Reality continues to ruin my life.
--Themis56
ARCEE: Oh, my.
SPRINGER: What's wrong? Upset that you ended up second after
Blackarachnia?
ARCEE: Not at all. Just... oh, my...
PERCEPTOR: I did not think a romantic rendezvous with Trypticon is even
physically possible.
SPRINGER: As if that'd stop THIS crowd.
------------------------------
*** The Imprint Award, for the most unforgettable Transformers
character
1 Bumblebee
1 Chase
1 Cosmos
1 Cyclonus (orig.)
1 Death's Head
1 Defcon/Devcon
1 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
1 Impactor
1 Inferno (BW)
1 Jetfire/Skyfire
1 Jhiaxus
1 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
1 Nightscream
1 Rattrap
1 Ravage
1 Rhinox
1 Shockwave
1 Side Burn
1 Springer
1 Swoop (orig.)
1 Transmutate (from "Transmutate")
1 Victory Leo
1 Wipe Out
1 Wreck-Gar
2 Blurr
2 Ironhide (orig.)
2 Jazz
2 Optimus Primal
2 Scorponok (orig.)
2 Warpath
3 Galvatron (orig.)
3 Megatron (BW)
3 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
5 Sky-Byte
6 Megatron (orig.)
6 Soundwave (orig.)
7 Unicron
8 Grimlock (orig.)
11 Dinobot
12 Waspinator
12 Wheelie
22 Starscream (orig.)
49 Optimus Prime (orig.)
Optimus Prime. He's eveywhere. We couldn't forget him if we tried.
--Prowl Pants
Let's face it. There will allways be more Thingamatrons and Something
Convoys. But there will be only one comical, overambitious, effortlessly
disposed of, compactable, rebuildable bug guy. We all love ya, Waspy!
--Rick R. Mortis
Rhinox (BW). And his sidekick Optimus Primal...
--Griffin
Unicron. Well, jeez, it's kind of hard to forget a giant monster taking a
bite out of your planet.
--GR Crosscut
Wheelie. God I wish I COULD forget him!
--Dalarsco
Starscream made G1 what it was. Sure, Optimus was the hero, and Megatron
was the villain, but Starscream made everything exciting.
--Chris Leazer
SPRINGER: That kind of excitement I could live without.
PERCEPTOR: I strongly believe Megatron does not desire such excitement,
either.
ARCEE: Better him than us.
------------------------------
*** The Dudbot Award, for the most boring Transformers character
1 Alexis
1 Alpha Trion
1 Blaster
1 Blurr (orig.)
1 Botanica
1 Brainstorm
1 Browning (Masterforce)
1 Build Team
1 Cerebros (RiD)
1 Cheetor
1 Chip Chase
1 Crosscut
1 Cyclonus (orig.)
1 Daniel Witwicky
1 Defensor
1 Flamefeather
1 Fortress Maximus (orig.)
1 Fractyl (BotCon 1997 exclusive)
1 Grapple
1 Grotesque
1 Hardhead
1 Hot Shot (Armada)
1 Ironhide (orig.)
1 Jhiaxus
1 Kup
1 Larry the Janitor (from "Transformers: Generation One")
1 Laserbeak (Armada)
1 Megatron (Armada)
1 Megatron (BM)
1 Midnight Express
1 Mother from "Overmatch"
1 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
1 Optimus Primal
1 Pipes
1 Raiden
1 Ratbat
1 Ratchet
1 Roadhandler
1 Runabout/Runamuck
1 Scourge (orig.)
1 Sideburn
1 Skywarp
1 Smokescreen (Armada)
1 Smokescreen (orig.)
1 Springer
1 Tankorr
1 Terrorsaur
1 Thrust (orig.)
1 Thundercracker
1 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
1 WarpathÂ
1 Windcharger
1 Wreck-Gar
2 Bumblebee (orig.)
2 Demolishor
2 Galvatron (orig.)
2 Hubcap
2 Inferno (BW)
2 Jetfire/Skyfire
2 Lazarus (from "Transformers: Generation One")
2 Megatron (RiD)
2 Optimus Prime (Armada)
2 Optimus Prime (RiD)
2 Prowl (orig.)
2 Red Alert (orig.)
2 Snarl
2 Sweeps
2 Tigertron
2 Tow-Line (RiD)
3 Airrazor
3 Beachcomber
3 Computron
3 Omega Supreme
3 Skids
3 Wheelie
4 Gears
4 Hoist
4 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
4 Megatron (orig.)
4 Soundwave (orig.)
5 Reflector
5 Scorponok (BW)
5 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
6 Huffer
6 Shockwave
7 Perceptor (orig.)
9 Red Alert (Armada)
16 Optimus Prime (orig.)
Most boring character? Optimus Prime. Leader of the Autobots and defender
of all that is good and right and fluffy bunnies, he may be, but heavens,
is he ever a boring character.
--VitaniCat
Bumblebee (G1 cartoon). Way too much screen time, way too little to show
for it.
--Skyflight
RiD Megatron. Great toy, but his character likes his chair too much.
--Mart "Kickback" leuvering
Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime. Send him back to the John Hughes movie he escaped
from.
--Zodiac
Roll the Armada cast list.
--Galenraff
Pretty much the entire cast of Beast Machines could tie for this catagory.
--Griffin
Skywarp -- cause, I mean, how can you have an uncool caracter with *that*
paint job, the ability to teleport, and heat seeking missles?!? Oh wait,
those things *were* his "character". Ooops, my bad.
--Gabi "T.M." D'Galvatron
Tigerhawk. He came, he saw, he...promptly died. Oh well.
--FantiSci
SPRINGER: Way to go, Perceptor! Seven votes!
PERCEPTOR: Thank you, but I'm not sure if the award was meant to be a
compliment.
SPRINGER: That's okay, there's always next year.
PERCEPTOR: Er...
ARCEE: Now THAT'S not nice...
[Cut to commercials.]
==========================================================================
PART II: TRANSFORMERS TOYS AND MERCHANDISE
SPRINGER: All right! Time for the toy awards, and we've got a brand-
spankin' new toy line to play with!
ARCEE: I can't believe you just used the term "brand-spankin'".
SPRINGER: Why? Am I giving you some ideas, eh, Arcee?
ARCEE: No, I'm surprised because it makes you sound even dorkier
than usual.
*** Best Toy of the Year
1 Catscan (BotCon 2002 exclusive)
1 Commemorative Edition Starscream (orig.)
1 Destruction Team (Buzzsaw, Drillbit, Dualor)
1 Gorillabot
1 Megatron (Heroes of Cybertron PVC)
1 Megatron (orig. reissue)
1 Nucleon Quest Optimus Prime PVC
1 Optimus Prime with Apex Armor PVC/Super God Ginrai PVC
1 Paratron Medic PVC (Arcee PVC recolor)
1 Prowl (orig. reissue)
1 Sideways (Armada)
1 Sideways vs. Axer two-pack
1 Skywarp (Heroes of Cybertron PVC)
1 Space Team (Astroscope, Payload, Sky Blast)
1 Starscream (McDonalds Happy Meal)
1 Starscream (orig. reissue)
1 Storm Jet
1 Street Action Team (Grindor, Highwire, Sure Shock)
1 Super Prowl (RiD)
1 Super Sideburn
1 Thundercracker (Heroes of Cybertron PVC)
1 Tracks (orig. reissue)
1 Ultra Magnus (RiD)
2 Air Defense Team (Jetstorm, Runway, Sonar)
2 Hot Shot (Armada)
2 Jazz (orig. reissue)
2 Jetfire (Armada)
2 Megabolt Megatron
2 Optimus Prime (Deluxe)
2 Road Rage (Takara recolored Tracks reissue)
2 Rodimus Major
2 Scourge (Spychanger)
2 Ultra Magnus (orig. reissue)
3 Blurr (Armada)
3 Optimus Prime (orig. reissue)
3 Scavenger (Armada)
7 Demolishor
9 Red Alert (Armada)
11 Air Attack Optimus Primal
11 Starscream (Armada)
16 Megatron (Armada)
19 Scourge (RiD)
25 Optimus Prime (Supercon)
Armada Supercon Prime. All the poseability of a MUNKY toy with the
inherent trucktitude of a old school TRUKK toy.
--Ben "Obsequiosity" Cremeens
Gorillabot. Look at his faces. You just KNOW he's Primal's protege.
--Finback
Transformers Robot in Disguise Rail Racer. I have proof that he was a new
toy in Holland in 2002, and I can send it to you, too (the proof, not Rail
Racer), so he counts. Point. -Obnoxious European Transfan
--Thomas Hamann
Scourge (RID). A statuesque, menacing, tower of evil. Even the TOY looks
threatening!
--Srini Varanasi
Air Attack Optimus Primal, hands down. The toy is positively huge, yet
stable, durable, and easy to play with. The detailing and show accuracy in
robot and gorilla modes are superb. The gimmicks comprise practically
everything: projectile launching, power punching, flashing lights,
flip-out jetpack, and lines and grunts spoken by GARRY CHALKE HIMSELF. And
to top it off, it can give the finger. How can this *NOT* be the best toy
of the year?
--Daniel "Suspsy" Suh
Scavenger. Does any other toy have stomp-stomp action? I think not.
--David "Walky" Willis
Red Alert. I think I finally figured out why I like this guy so much. With
Robocop's facemask, Batman's grimace and a chubby Ecto-1 for an alt-mode,
he's like every great 80's movie pasted together in one convenient
package.
--Jonathan Boetto / "Iacon"
SPRINGER: And the amazing thing is, you can easily make a movie based
on that premise!
PERCEPTOR:
ARCEE: It doesn't sound like it'd be a GOOD movie.
SPRINGER: We're talking about the '80s; standards were a lot lower
then.
PERCEPTOR: But OUR movie also came out in the '80s.
SPRINGER: There you go.
------------------------------
*** Best Toy Ever
1 Afterburner (orig.)
1 Airrazor
1 Apelinq (BotCon 2000 exclusive)
1 Armordillo
1 Battle Unicorn
1 Beachcomber
1 Beast Changer
1 Big Daddy
1 Blot
1 Blurr (Armada)
1 Brawl (orig.)
1 Bumblebee (G2)
1 Cheetor (orig.)
1 Cindersaur
1 Deathsaurus
1 Fireflight
1 Jetfire (Armada)
1 Landfill (RiD)
1 Megatron (Combat Hero)
1 Mudslinger
1 Omega Prime/God Fire Convoy
1 Paratron Medic PVC
1 Powerhug
1 Quickstrike
1 Repugnus
1 Silverbolt (Fuzor)
1 Snarl
1 Spittor (Transmetal 2)
1 Star Saber
1 Street Speed Team
1 Wheeljack
2 Abominus
2 Big Convoy
2 Blackarachnia (Transmetal 2)
2 Bruticus (RiD)
2 Bumblebee (orig.)
2 Catscan (BotCon 2002 exclusive)
2 Cyclonus (orig.)
2 Galvatron-colored Lioconvoy
2 Getaway
2 Ginrai
2 Hooligan
2 Hot Rod
2 Hot Shot (Armada)
2 Jazz (G2)
2 Jetstorm (Minicon)
2 K-9
2 Kickback
2 Kup
2 Mach Alert
2 Magmatron
2 Metalhawk (Masterforce)
2 Micromaster Rocket Base
2 Optimus Prime New Year Edition (Takara re-release)
2 Overlord (Masterforce)
2 Ramjet
2 Rampage (BW)
2 Rescue Roy
2 Road Pig
2 Rodimus Major
2 Scattershot
2 Shockwave (Action Master)
2 Skystalker
2 Skywarp (orig.)
2 Sludge
2 Speedbreaker
2 Stampy (Beast Wars Neo)
2 Starscream (Armada)
2 Storm Jet (RiD)
2 Team Bullet Train
2 X-Brawn
3 Antagony (BotCon 1998 exclusive)
3 Astrotrain
3 B'Boom
3 Black Zarak (Masterforce)
3 Bumblebee (Pretender)
3 Demolishor
3 Fire Guts God Ginrai
3 Frenzy (orig.)
3 Ikard with Taktotank (Beast Wars Second)
3 Inferno (BW)
3 Jetstorm (BM Deluxe)
3 Liokaiser
3 Megatron (Machine Wars tank)
3 Megatron New Year Edition (Takara re-release)
3 Obsidian
3 Optimus Primal (Ultra Beast gorilla)
3 Optimus Prime (Choro-Q)
3 Rail Racer
3 Red Alert (Armada)
3 Rippersnapper
3 Rotorstorm
3 Scarem
3 Scourge (orig.)
3 Side Burn
3 Sky-Byte
3 Sonic Attack Jet
3 Super Mach Alert
3 Super Sideburn
3 Tailgate
3 Tankorr (BM Mega)
3 Tigatron (BotCon 2001 exclusive)
3 Victory Leo
4 Blackarachnia (Beast Machines)
4 Countdown
4 Galvatron (RiD)/Devil Gigatron
4 Heinrad (Beast Wars Neo)
4 Megabolt Megatron
4 Prowl (orig.)
4 Prowl (RiD)
4 Shockwave
4 Sideswipe (orig.)
4 Ultra Magnus (RiD)
5 Ace Evader (Dreadwind/Smokescreen ATB)
5 Dreadwing/Smokescreen (G2 Stealth Bomber)
5 Galvatron (Beast Wars Second)
5 Smokescreen (orig.)
6 Cyclonus (BotCon 2002 exclusive)
6 Darkwing (orig.)
6 Devastator
6 God Ginrai (Masterforce)
6 Hun-Grrr
6 Jetstorm (BM Ultra)
6 Optimus Prime (G2)
6 Tracks
7 Jazz (orig.)
7 Megatron (Armada)
7 Victory Saber
8 Cheetor (Transmetal)
8 Cryotek
8 Starscream (orig.)
8 Tarantulas (Transmetal)
8 Trypticon
8 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
9 God Fire Convoy
9 Grimlock (orig.)
9 Predaking
11 Tigerhawk
12 Depth Charge
12 Galvatron (orig.)
12 Megatron (Deluxe Transmetal)
12 Metroplex
15 Big Convoy (Beast Wars Second)
15 Megatron (RiD)/Gigatron
15 Optimus Prime (Powermaster)
16 Optimus Prime (Armada Supercon)
18 Air Attack Optimus Primal
18 Optimal Optimus
19 Scorponok (orig.)
20 Sixshot
21 Omega Supreme
23 Megatron (Transmetal 2)
28 Soundwave (orig.)
30 Optimus Prime (RiD)/Super Fire Convoy
37 Megatron (orig.)
38 Fortress Maximus
40 Optimus Prime (orig.)
44 Jetfire (orig.)
46 Optimus Prime (RiD)
50 Optimus Prime (Laser Rod)
51 Scourge (RiD)
Laser Optimus, hands down, the best, there is no other...well, aside from
RiD Scourge.
--Anthony "Tonyfitz" Brucale
Yeah, I voted for Armordillo. Bite me.
--Blitz_64
The unreleased GIJoe crossover guy that had an obscenely cheap
transformation, BUT HOT DAMN YOU COULD LET GIJOES RIDE AROUND ON HIM.
that's the coolest thing ever.
--Hooper_X
Japanese Alpha Trion! Finally!! An A3 toy! Yaaaaaay!
--Seawave
Tailgate, being the only TF I can transform without somebody talking me
through it. And this is why I don't collect the toys.
--Velvet Glove
Powerhug is just such a hilarious concept. He's a pillbug! With
rolly-ball action! (And I bet he's never been chosen before. ;) )
--Wayward
Best Toy Ever and you give 3 choices? What are you thinking?
--Gekisou
PERCEPTOR: Perhaps "I want to finish the Trannies before 2004."
SPRINGER: And he almost didn't.
ARCEE: Well, I didn't see either of you offering to help.
SPRINGER: I've got better things to do tonight than count ballots.
PERCEPTOR: Was that an election joke?
ARCEE: No, just a bad one.
------------------------------
*** Best Convention-Exclusive Toy
1 Chrono-Q Megatron (BotCon Japan 2000)
2 Onyx Primal (BotCon 1996)
2 SHBM Lava Galvatron (BotCon Japan '97)
3 Diaclone Ultra Magnus (Tokyo Toy Festival 2001)
3 Doublepunch (BotCon Japan '97)
3 Fukkokuban Convoy (black Optimus Prime reissue, JAF-CON)
3 SHBM Galvatron (BotCon Japan '97)
3 Spychanger Laser Rod Optimus Prime (Cybcon 2002)
5 Chrono-Q Optimus Prime (BotCon Japan 2000)
5 Fractyl (BotCon '97)
5 Rook (BotCon Europe 2002)
6 Unicron statue (BotCon 2002)
7 Packrat (BotCon '97)
10 Apelinq (BotCon 2000)
10 Sandstorm (BotCon '99)
14 Breakdown (BotCon '94)
16 Nightracer (BotCon '95)
19 Windrazor (BotCon '99)
22 Tap-Out (BotCon 2002)
24 Antagony (BotCon '98)
30 Catscan (BotCon 2002)
37 Glyph (BotCon 2002)
42 Shokaract (BotCon 2001)
79 Arcee (BotCon 2001)
96 Tigatron (BotCon 2001)
102 Cyclonus (BotCon 2002)
Cyclonus returns, beefed up, and b-b-b-bad to the bone.
--Rage
Transmetal Arcee (because making her look even MORE like a bikini bimbo is
a GOOD thing!)
--Stanley Lui
Just wish someone would remember that there are Fans out side the US and
that said fans cannot afford to fly themselve to exotic locals, such as
the US, to get these 'exclusives'.
--Excelon Zero
It's fun to watch grown men cry because they couldn't get an "exclusive
repaint".
--Zodiac
BotCon 2002 dinner exclusives.
--Zobovor
Nightracer,simply cause the first official femmebot toy ever made was an
EVIL DECEPTICON!
--Speedbreaker 1
Tigertron for doing justice to a character that kept getting the shaft.
--'leta
SPRINGER: BotCon Cyclonus, bad to the bone. Versus Armada Cyclonus,
who's just bad to the bulge.
ARCEE: I can't wait to see what happens if Hasbro releases a new
Springer toy.
SPRINGER: I'll make sure they won't.
------------------------------
*** Worst Toy of the Year
1 Air Attack Optimus Primal
1 Autobot Three-Pack (Mirage GT/Nightcruz/Scavenger) (RiD)
1 Bruticus (RiD)
1 Buzzsaw (Minicon)
1 Downshift (Minicon)
1 Galvatron (RiD)
1 Gold Jazz (e-Hobby reissue)
1 Grimlock (RiD)
1 High Wire (Minicon)
1 Megabolt Megatron
1 Megatron (Armada)
1 Megatron (McDonalds Happy Meal)
1 Minicon Space Team (Astroscope/Payload/Sky Blast)
1 Minicon Street Speed Team (Backtrack/Oval/Spiral)
1 Mirage (Mini-Con)
1 Mirage GT
1 Optimus Prime (McDonalds Happy Meal)
1 Optimus Prime (McDonalds Happy Meal)
1 Optimus Prime (Spychanger)
1 Red Alert (Armada)
1 Ruination
1 Storm Jet (RiD)
1 Super Side Burn
1 Wreckage (Minicon)
2 Demolisher (McDonalds Happy Meal)
2 Demolishor (Armada)
2 Drill-Bit (Armada)
2 Minicon Air Defense Team (Jetstorm/Runway/Sonar)
2 Paratron Medic PVC
2 Scavenger (Armada)
4 Minicon Race Team (Dirt Boss/Downshift/Mirage)
4 Minicon Street Action Team (Grindor/Highwire/Sureshock)
4 Smokescreen (Armada)
4 Sureshock (Minicon)
5 Smokescreen (McDonalds Happy Meal)
5 Starscream (Armada)
6 Ultra Magnus (orig. reissue)
7 Sideways (Armada)
8 Cyclonus (Armada)
14 Optimus Prime (Armada Supercon)
15 Laserbeak (Armada)
19 Hot Shot (Armada)
Really, that's to easy with the first wave of Armada. But it has to be Hot
Shot, by one very large margin. New fugly Transformers are here! Fugly
Tranformers, they've got the power to scare small children! Here's a tip,
get a Hot Shot mask for Halloween this year. How ugly is Hot Shot? He's so
ugly then when he was made he broke the mould, literally. He's so ugly
that he makes the Build Team look acceptable... Hrm, no actually he's not
that bad.
--Divefire
McDonalds Armada Smokescreen. - Part crane, part robot, part penguin, and
the very definition of "suck".
--Eric Schwartz
Street Action Mini-Con Team. Three small robots make one slightly larger
robot with little to no poseibility. And they're up there with Wheelie and
Nightscream for the most annoying TF characters in creation.
--"The Mad Bomber" Bombshell
Superpants Prime. Fine without, but man. Lose the pants, dude.
--Quag Prime
TRU Ultra Magnus. I'm sorry, but them goony, oversized, kid-friendly
rockets just ruin a classic toy. Besides, taking the small peices out
ruins the toys. When I was kid, our toys were choking and stabbing
hazards. We took a chance with our lives every time we pulled out our toys
and played. That element of risk built character and weeded out the weak
from the herd.
--Thundercracker1978
Gold Jazz; he beautiful, but he chips if you stare at him the wrong way.
Electrum must be horriby fragile.
--Anthony "Tonyfitz" Brucale
Armada Laserbeak. The Jar-Jar Binks of the TF universe.
--Aaron Hong, Spirit Force Red Ranger
ARCEE: If you make one "meesa" joke, I'm leaving.
SPRINGER: The thought never crossed my mind.
PERCEPTOR: Why would Springer make a joke about a flat-topped elevation?
SPRINGER: Not "mesa," "mee-sa"!
------------------------------
*** Worst Toy Tech-Spec Quote
1 Autobot Rescue Patrol: "True victory can only lie in the ability to
locate and mend the injured."
1 Blackarachnia (TM2): "I use deception for the purpose of good -- I
use it a lot."
1 Brawn: "Might over microchips."
1 Clench/Colossus: "I will not rest until the last Autobot is crushed
to nothing and Decepticons rule."
1 Cyclonus (Armada): "Out of my way! Attack!"
1 Deluge: "Let me study the battle plans. I'll think up something
really unpleasant -- and then make it even nastier."
1 Galvatron (orig.): "My power is everything; defeat is absurd!"
1 Heavy Load: "Megatron's plans will crumble like sand."
1 Hot Rod/Rodimus Major: "My actions speak louder than words."
1 Hot Spot: "Rust never sleeps, and neither do I."
1 Huffer: "Molecular structure is the key to success."
1 Laserbeak (Armada): "I will protect you."
1 Mega-Octane: "I command you to destroy!"
1 Megatron (BW aligator): "Prosper or perish is the Predacon way of
life, and we plan to survive by driving the Maximals into
extinction! That bat-brained Optimus Primal thinks he can
challenge our strength, but he has yet to feel the painful
punishment I'll give him as I sink my teeth into his furry
flesh! He may still be a robot on the inside, but on the
outside... he's my lunch!"
1 Mirage (MW): "Like a ninja in the night, I strike swiftly and
unseen."
1 Monster Truck Patrol: "We're a giant wall of Autobot might!"
1 Optimus Primal (bat): "The Maximals and I have no choice but to stop
Megatron and his Predacon minions before they destroy us all!
Freedom may be the right of all sentient beings, but to protect
the greater good we must vanquish the earth from these evil
Predacon creatures! It won't be easy, but nothing worthwhile
ever is!"
1 Optimus Primal (BM): "Organic life is often hidden, sometimes
overcome, but seldom extinguished!"
1 Piranacon: "Underwater, no one can hear you scream."
1 Pyro: "Think of the most awful, unspeakable menace you can -- and
then double it. That's what we're up against."
1 Race Car Patrol: "In confusion there is opportunity."
1 Rapid Run: "Let's battle!!!!"
1 Red Alert (Armada): "All life is precious."
1 Rescue Roy: "Let's put the wet stuff on the red stuff."
1 Sideswipe (orig.): "I don't break the rules, I bend them -- a lot."
1 Skalor: "I stink, therefore I am."
1 Skram: "Hey, loosen up, guys! Saving the universe can't be that big
of a deal!"
1 Skyfire (RiD): "As you command."
1 Space Case: "My mind may be slow, but I move like greased
lightning!"
1 Stalker: "Hate till it hurts and then hate some more."
1 Storm Jet: "Keep your eyes on the enemy to stay ahead of him!"
1 Striker: "When I get you in my clutches, you're gonna need
crutches!"
1 Tailgate: "Let my fellow mechanical beings go!"
1 Thundercracker: "The deadliest weapon is terror."
1 Tow Line: "Follow the rules."
1 Vortex: "I'm Vortex, fly me -- if you dare!"
1 Wreck-Gar: "Collect and save, collect and save."
2 Air Defense Team: "We are the power of the sword."
2 Groundpounder: "Dig in!"
2 Megatron (orig.): "Everything is fodder."
2 Midnight Express: "Victory -- let's party!"
2 Needlenose: "Get hip or get hit!"
2 Sideways: "Efficiency through self-sufficiency."
2 Ultra Magnus (RiD): ""Let's hit the road, Autobots. We have a planet
to save!"
2 Wheelie: "Only the fierce shall live."
2 X-Brawn: "Strength wins!"
3 Optimus Prime (orig.): "Freedom is the right of all sentient
beings."
3 Soundwave (orig.): "Cries and screams are music to my ears."
4 Onyx Primal: "...and I will strike down with great vengeance and
furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my
brothers, and you will know my name is Oynx when I lay my
vengeance apon [sic] thee."
4 Optimus Prime (RiD): "We will put out the fires of evil!"
5 Bruticus (RiD): "Who goes there?"
10 Hot Shot: "Well let's go!"
17 Blowout: "Want to race?"
"Wanna race?" Um. No?
--Galenraff
Midnight Express. "Victory -- let's party!" This doesn't even make
remote sense. The only way it could possibly be worse is if it had racial
slurs in it.
--Brian Blackwell
"Who goes there?"-Bruticus (RID). You live your life by that?????
--Thunderwing04
Granted, RiD has probably supplied more worthy candidates for this
category, but making fun of RiD tech specs quotes is like mocking a
paraplegic for his sub-par tennis skills -- initially amusing but
ultimately depressing.
--Jonathan Boetto / "Iacon"
Hmmm.. how about ALL the 'techspecs' on those preschool toys?
--Wavelength
Groundpounder: "Dig In!". A fairly obscure quote, but that can't excuse
the complete lack of effort that went into it. It even makes "Want to
race?" look good.
--Tall Paul
Armada Hot Shot: "Well, let's go." Sage words to live by O.o
--Kayevcee
"True victory can only lie in the ability to locate and mend the injured."
(Autobot Rescue Patrol) I can think of about 10 things that are wrong with
that statement, number one being that it makes them sound like medical
insurance lobbyists.
--Merytneith
SPRINGER: Well, I'M disappointed. I was so sure one of the Armada
quotes would win this one.
ARCEE: It's the first year, give them time.
------------------------------
*** The Grave-Spinning Award, for the worst reuse of a character's
name
1 Buzzsaw (Armada)
1 Dino-Bot (Transformers Go-Bots)
1 Hot Shot (Armada)
1 Ironhide (Armada Japan)
1 Ironhide (RiD)
1 Jetstorm (BM)
1 Knockout
1 Lazorbeak (BW)
1 Mega-Octane
1 Megatron (Armada)
1 Megatron (BW T-Rex)
1 Mirage (Minicon)
1 Mirage GT
1 Nightbeat (Minicon)
1 Obsidian (RiD)
1 Optimus Primal (bat)
1 Optimus Primal (BW)
1 Ransack (Minicon)
1 Rollbar (RiD)
1 Silverbolt (BM)
1 Smokescreen (G2)
1 Star Saber (Armada)
2 Galvatron (RiD)
2 Leader-1
2 Megatron (BW alligator)
2 Optimus Prime (RiD)
2 Prowl (BW)
2 Prowl 2
2 Scavenger (Armada)
2 Scorponok (BW)
2 Scourge (RiD)
2 Silverbolt (BW Fuzor)
2 Soundwave (Go-Bot)
2 Sparkplug (Minicon)
2 Starscream (Armada)
2 X-Brawn
3 Optimus Primal (BM)
3 Prowl (RiD)
3 Red Alert (Armada)
4 Bruticus (RiD)
5 Laserbeak (Armada)
5 Sideswipe (Armada)
8 Soundwave (Mutant)
9 Megatron (RiD)
10 Perceptor (Armada)
18 Grimlock (RiD)
23 Cyclonus (Armada)
25 Smokescreen (Armada)
Armada Smokescreen. I mean, come on. Neither the character nor the toy has
anything to do with smoke and/or screens.
--GR Crosscut
Grimlock (Robots In Disguise) - A flaming construction vehicle! The leader
of the Dinobots is a mindless vehicle! Grimlock gonna get prehistoric on
your ass.
--reillyd
Lazerbeak (Armada) From an evil Decepticon cassette bird to a baby-sitter
camcorder? You've got to be kidding.
--Gekisou
Knockout. They've completely tarnished the reputation of the name of an
obscure Micromaster by recycling it like a Dr. Pepper can, and now thanks
to Hasbro's herecy I'll never be able to look at him now without my
memories of him being forever tainted by the existence of an even more
obscure Minicon.
--Zobovor
The preschool Dinobot. He's even got a grave to spin in, sort of.
--Wavelength
The loathsome BW Pretender and any of his future incarnations using
Megatron's name.
--Raksha
Megatron. Hearing the name of the great Predacon leader sullied by that G1
numbskull just makes me want to-- oh, hello, Raksha, fancy meeting you
here...
--Zodiac
Leader-1. Let's see... the leader of the good-guy Gobots is now the
whipped servent of the Decepticon commander. Hmm... I think someone is
making a statement here.
--Rick R. Mortis
SPRINGER: Gosh, really?
ARCEE: There's no need to be sarcastic.
SPRINGER: Hey, there's ALWAYS time for sarcasm!
PERCEPTOR: I thought it was always time for Jell-o.
ARCEE: Wrong joke.
------------------------------
*** The "Fan-riffic!" Award, for the Transformers toy that's the most
fun to play with
1 Black Convoy (Car Robots)
1 Blurr (Armada)
1 Brave Maximus
1 Bruticus (orig.)
1 Bumblebee (orig.)
1 Buzzsaw (Armada)
1 Cheetor (Transformers Go-Bots)
1 Countdown
1 Demolishor (Armada)
1 Dreadwaing/Smokescreen ATB (also known as Ace Evader in Europe)
1 Fire-Bot (Transformers Go-Bots)
1 Getaway
1 Hooligan
1 Inferno (BW)
1 Laserbeak (Armada)
1 Megatron (Transmetal 2)
1 Night Slash Cheetor
1 Onslaught
1 Optimus Prime (Powermaster)
1 Predaking
1 Prowl (Action Master)
1 Prowl (RiD)
1 Quickswitch
1 Ravage
1 Scattershot
1 Scavenger (BM)
1 Scorponok (BW)
1 Scourge (Spychanger)
1 Seaspray
1 Shockwave (Action Master)
1 Side Burn
1 Sky Byte
1 Slugfest
1 Spittor (Transmetal 2)
1 Starscream (Armada McDonalds Happy Meal)
1 Starscream (orig.)
1 Superion
1 Swindle (Armada)
1 Tarantulas (Transmetal)
1 Terrorsaur
1 Thrust (Beast Wars Second)
1 Trypticon
1 Under-Three Lion (McDonalds 1996 Happy Meal toy)
1 Victory Leo
1 Victory Saber
2 Galvatron (orig.)
2 Grimlock (orig.)
2 Jetfire (orig.)
2 Mach Alert (Car Robots)
2 Minicon Air Defense Team (Jetstorm/Runway/Sonar)
2 Optimus Primal (Transmetal)
2 Optimus Prime (orig.)
2 Sideways/Crosswise/Rook
2 Soundwave (orig.)
2 Super X-Brawn
2 Tankorr
2 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
3 Air Attack Optimus Primal
3 Astrotrain
3 Build King/Landfill
3 Depth Charge
3 Galvatron (RiD)/Devil Gigatron (Car Robots)
3 Optimal Optimus
3 Scorponok (orig.)
3 Starscream (Armada)
3 Ultra Magnus (RiD)
4 Fortress Maximus
4 Hot Shot (Armada)
4 Megatron (RiD)
4 Omega Prime (RiD)/God Fire Convoy (Car Robots)
4 Red Alert (Armada)
4 Scavenger (Armada)
5 Megatron (Armada)
5 Sixshot
6 Laser Rod Optimus Prime
6 Optimus Prime (RiD)/Super Fire Convoy
7 Scourge (RiD)
12 Optimus Prime (Armada Supercon)
Armada Prime with a ton of Mini-Cons.
--Dalarsco
Scorponok (G1). When you're three years old, getting this massive hunk of
plastic was like getting a new brother.
--Conor E
Bruticus (Combaticons). This answer is obvious! Surely this is the most
fun toy to play with. Why else would Hasbro release it a dozen different
times?
--Chris Leazer
Side Burn. Hours of fun. And then you can transform him back.
--Hotmissile
Armada Red Alert. His missile launcher has enough force to stun a small
house pet. Or a napping father.
--Sixswitch
Basic Terrorsaur. He's tiny! He has the auto-transform action! He's
poseable! He can sit on my computer speakers and look sulky! He's got a
bitey pterodactyl mouth and I can chase my cats with him!
--Wayward
Scavenger (Armada) - He goes "squee-BOWM! squee-BOWM! squee-BOWM!" as he
stomps after the villagers with torches and pitchforks. If only he yelled
"FIRE BAD!!" too.
--Eric Schwartz
SPRINGER: URRRGH! Arrrgh! Fire BAD! Errrh! URRRGH! (pauses)
C'mon, you two!
PERCEPTOR: I fail to understand the meaning of your actions.
ARCEE: Don't look at ME.
SPRINGER: *Sigh*
------------------------------
*** The "Squint Hard" Award, for the Transformers toy with the dumbest
robot mode
1 Autobot combiner (Armada McDonalds Happy Meal)
1 Blaster (orig.)
1 Blot
1 Blurr (orig.)
1 Bullet Bike
1 Cheetor (Beast Machines McDonalds Happy Meal)
1 Cheetor (BM)
1 Cindersaur
1 Crosswise and Rook
1 Demolishor
1 Drill Bit (Armada)
1 F1-Type Powerdasher
1 Flywheels
1 Geckobot
1 Goldbug
1 Grand Slam
1 Grandus
1 Grimlock (orig.)
1 Groove
1 Jazz (Pretender)
1 Landfill/Build King
1 Lightspeed
1 Longhorn (Beast Machines)
1 Optimus Minor
1 Optimus Prime (armada Supercon)
1 Punch/Counterpunch
1 Ravage (orig.)
1 Red Alert (Armada)
1 Reflector (orig.)
1 Rodimus Prime
1 Scavenger (Armada)
1 Searchlight
1 Sideswipe (Armada)
1 Silverbolt (BM)
1 Sonar (Transmetal 2)
1 Sparkstalker
1 Starscream (Armada)
1 Staxx
1 Swindle (orig.)
1 Transquito
1 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
1 Under-Three Lion (McDonalds 1996 Happy Meal toy)
1 Venom
2 Blastcharge (BM)
2 Cyclonus (Armada)
2 Flamefeather
2 Grimlock (RiD)
2 Grindor
2 Nightbeat (Armada)
2 Quickswitch
2 Rattrap (BM)
2 Retrax
2 Sideburn (RiD)
2 Sideways (Armada)
2 Sky Lynx
2 Sludge
2 Smokescreen (Armada)
3 Broadside
3 Bruticus (RiD)
3 Laserbeak (Armada)
3 Megatron (orig.)
3 Runamuck/Runabout
4 Injector
4 Meanstreak
4 Smokescreen (Armada McDonalds Happy Meal)
6 Hot Shot (Armada)
8 Wheelie
9 High Wire
9 Sureshock (Armada)
25 Ironhide/Ratchet (orig.)
GI Ratchet and Ironhide. I just saw pictures of their toys only recently,
and now I must add my voice to the eternal question: "WHERE THE -HELL- ARE
YOUR HEADS?"
--Themis56
Smokescreen (McDonald's Armada Happy Meal). Dude, this is a robot? It's
a block...with wings and no arms or something.
--Philip N. Zeman
RiD Bruticus. It looks like that thing they turned inside-out in the
transporter in "Galaxy Quest".
--Galenraff
Sureshock, the Armada minicon. Oh look, it's a... thing. With eyes, yes.
Um.
--Fulcrum
You ever seen any of those European Powermasters? Gah! Curse my eyes!
--Quag Prime
G1 Runamuck/Runabout. Only reason they beat the Throttlebots is because
Throttlebots barely even qualify in the "robot mode" department.
--Aaron Hong, Spirit Force Red Ranger
Longhorn (Beast Machines). He's a bull standing on its hind legs with a
robot head on its head.
--Moai Ou
Injector. Instead of a head, he has a fish puking out a face! I'd hate to
see the kind of damage that needs to be done to a stasis pod in order to
hatch THAT mess!
--Srini Varanasi
SPRINGER: Would it be in bad taste if I made a joke about Ironhide's
head and the movie?
ARCEE: No.
SPRINGER: No?
PERCEPTOR: Not at all.
ARCEE: It'd be completely predictable, though.
PERCEPTOR: Indeed.
SPRINGER: Oh.
------------------------------
*** Best Merchandise Item of All Time
1 Action cards
1 Air fresheners
1 Armada stickers
1 "Artistic Transformations" music CD
1 Baseball caps
1 Beast Wars cartoon DVDs
1 Bootleg Spychangers
1 BotCon 2001 reprinted Predacon poster
1 Cliffjumper keychain
1 Coloring books
1 Commodore 64 game
1 "Cybertronian" guide books
1 Decepticon sigil sticker
1 Dinner tray
1 Dreamwave 2003 wall calendar
1 "Duel! Beast Wars: Beast Warrior Strongest Decisive Battle"
Gameboy Color game
1 Eyeglasses
1 "Five Faces of Darkness" DVD
1 Football jersey
1 Hard Hero busts
1 Hard Hero Prowl statue
1 "Lighting Their Darkest Hour" soundtrack CD
1 Lunchboxes
1 Mega PVC Megatron figure
1 Mega PVC Optimus Prime figure (Anime)
1 Mega SCF Victory Leo
1 Optimus Prime bop bag
1 Optimus Prime head parachute
1 Optimus Prime soap
1 Optimus Prime tent
1 Playing cards
1 Puzzles
1 Ravage hologram wallet
1 Skywarp PVC figure
1 Transformers Bathtime Attack Pack
1 "Transformers Battlin' Robots" game
1 Transformers Go-Bots toys
1 Transformers: Generations guidebook
1 Transformers: The Movie soundtrack
1 Ultra Magnus quilt coveer
1 Unicron Inflatable
1 Unicron statue
1 Wallpaper
1 Watches
1 Wheeljack zipper clip
2 "'Til All Are One" soundtrack CD set
2 Club Shirts
2 Lithographs
2 Optimus Prime cookie jar
2 Optimus Prime Oral Care Station
2 Soundwave quilt cover
2 Storybooks
2 Titan Transformers UK comics collections
2 Transformers: The Movie
2 Underwear/Underoos
3 Posters
3 Soundwave cassette player
3 Transformers bed covers/bed sheet set
6 T-shirts
7 Minibot keychains
8 PVC figures
8 Transformers: The Movie DVD
14 Comics
17 Transformers cartoon DVDs
Transformers DVD's. Just when you're TF tapes are on the verge of
snapping, along come DVD vesions, and everything becomes right with the
world.
--"The Mad Bomber" Bombshell
The Transformers Mega Litho is Ultra Cool Gear!
--JasonPrime
My Soundwave quilt and he's still warm, soft cuddly, after 17 years!
--Seawave
I think I had Transformers glasses (for my eyes) once. So I suppose they
must have existed. I don't think they transformed, unless I can elect
"folded up pair of glasses" as "dumbest robot mode".
--Hotmissile
Scattershot, as sold by adult entertainment shops everywhere... ;)
--Denyer
Unicron Statue. I gotta admit, I never thought I'd see anything quite so
impressive available for the average Transfan to purchase.
--Chris Leazer
G1 Optimus Prime Cookie Jar! Chips Ahoys are the right of all sentient
beings!
--Mike "Edwin" Boyle
PERCEPTOR: Ah, it's satisfying to know that Transformers toys are
enjoyed by humans of all ages.
SPRINGER: That's NOT what they mean by "adult entertainment,"
Perceptor.
PERCEPTOR: Oh?
ARCEE: DON'T explain it...
------------------------------
*** The "Justifiable Murder" Award, for the most desired merchandise
item you want
1 "Alignment" story by Simon Furman
1 Animation cells
1 Armada Starscream club shirt
1 Autobot/Decepticon car sets (seat covers, etc.)
1 Autograph from Chris Latta
1 Commodore 64 computer game
1 "Dark Glass" (unproduced Beast Wars cartoon script)
1 "Defeat the Decepticons" board game
1 Dreamwave Megatron "movie" poster
1 "Duel! Beast Wars: Beast Warrior Strongest Decisive Battle" for
Gameboy Color
1 e-Hobby gold-plated Jazz toy
1 English-dubbed Japanese Transformers cartoons
1 Japanese Beast Wars statuettes
1 MC Axis Hot Rod resin kit
1 Mega PVC Arcee
1 Mega SCF Victory Leo
1 Megatron cookie jar
1 Megatron silk shirt
1 Metroplex vs. Trypticon Transformers decoy board game (Japan)
1 Minibot keychains
1 Optimus Prime head parachute
1 Optimus Prime PVC figure
1 Prowl reissue
1 PVC figures
1 Soundwave quilt cover
1 Soundwave tape player
1 Squeeze and Blow Optimus Prime
1 Starscream inflatable lounge-in
1 "The Touch" sheet music
1 "The Wreckers" #1 autographed by Simon Furman
1 Thundercracker/Jazz life-size costumes
1 "Transformers Battlin' Robots" game
1 Transformers bed set
1 Transformers cartoon scripts
1 Transformers cartoon season 3 DVD box set
1 Transformers chess set
1 Transformers kite
1 Transformers pencil case
1 Transformers poster (Panimi sticker contest)
1 Transformers: The Movie poster
1 Transformers: The Movie soundtrack CD
1 Underwear/Underoos
2 Beast Wars cartoon DVDs
2 Beast Wars Neo Unicron prototype
2 Bumblebee keychain
2 Lunchboxes
2 Megatron and Soundwave placemat
2 Optimus Prime cookie jar
2 Optimus Prime oral care station
2 Playing cards
2 S.T.A.R.S. playset
2 Skywarp PVC figure
2 Starscream reissue toy
2 Storybooks
2 Toy prototypes
2 Transformers: Genesis art book
2 Transformers: The Movie DVD
3 "'Til All Are One" soundtrack CD set
3 Dreamwave comic books
3 Inflatable Unicron promotional hanger
3 Transformers cartoon season 2 DVD box set
3 Tyco Transformers train set
3 Unicron statue
4 Hard Hero busts
5 Transformers cartoon season 1 DVD box set
5 Transformers UK comic book series
6 Lithographs/Posters
Predaking Lithograph. All must fall before Predaking!
--Rage
Those Thundercracker and Jazz costumes from that commercial about the
iron-on patch contest.
--Thundercracker1978
One I'm not embarrassed of showing to non-transfans. I'm still looking for
it.
--Brian Blackwell
Unicron statue. Well, I'm not PAYING for it! ;)
--Chris McFeely
Megatron and Soundwave placemat. I have a friend who would really like
one. :)
--Skyflight
[I'll bet you do. B-]
Does Fortress Maximus count? *sniff*
--Lightshield
Does Chris Sarracini's head on a platter qualify as 'merchandise'?
--Mart "Kickback" leuvering
That Optimus Prime oral care station thingy, because I would love to hear
about someone murdered over a toothbrush.
--T.H.C
SPRINGER: And, of course, leave it to a Transformers fan to murder
someone over a toothbrush.
ARCEE: I wonder how Venus Terzo puts up with things like this.
SPRINGER: What, the rabid fans?
ARCEE: The lousy scripts.
PERCEPTOR: This is scripted?
SPRINGER: No, and that's the problem.
[Cut to commercials.]
==========================================================================
PART III: CARTOONS AND ANIMATED EPISODES
PERCEPTOR:
ARCEE: Welcome back, everyone -- now it's time for the cartoon-based
Trannie awards.
SPRINGER: With all the dings the new "Armada" cartoon has been getting,
this ought to be a fun read.
PERCEPTOR: Such a claim can be applied only if you are resorting to an
overly broad definition of the term "fun."
SPRINGER: Hey, it's either than or complain for the next ten minutes.
*** Best Single Episode or Multiple-Part Episode of the Year
1 Confrontation (Armada)
1 Landfill (RiD)
1 Prehistory (Armada)
1 Underground (Armada)
2 Gail (Armada)
2 Jungle (Armada)
2 Palace (Armada)
2 Ruin (Armada)
2 Sky-Byte Saves the Day (RiD)
3 Maximus Emerges (RiD)
3 Transformers: Armada pilot (First Encounter/Metamorphasis/Base)
6 Swoop (Armada)
9 Credulous (Armada)
9 The Final Battle (RiD)
11 First Encounter (Armada)
11 Overmatch (Armada)
"Transformers: First Encounter". I was so pumped after seeing this episode
at BotCon 2002. It had me so excited for Armada. Wow, did *my* hopes get
crushed....
--Philip N. Zeman
Armada episode 14: Overmatch. Scavenger demolishing Hotshot... That's
truly prime!
--Mart "Kickback" leuvering
Credulous - the one where Hot Shot gets his ego trashed & loses the Star
Saber. It's nice to see the bad guys win on occasion, and Hot Shot needed
to be taken down a few pegs. He was decent early on, but became annoyingly
arrogant when he got the Star Saber.
--Dave Connell
RiD's "Final Battle." Sure it was slow to get there, but really, what's
the other option? The Armada movie? I think not.
--Galenraff
I haven't actually seen _any_ RiD or Armada cartoons, so (using Zobovor's
episode descriptions) I choose... "Landfill" [RiD] because it sounds like
the UK rail network.
--Hotmissile
[And from the Department of Lowered Expectations...]
I refuse to use the word "best" when referring to Armada. I think it would
cheapen the word, and probably the general concept it stands for.
--Brian Blackwell
What, from Transformers: Pokemon? No thanks.
--Briphoon
None, Armada was garbage!
--Guyzer
I haven't even watched an episode of Armada yet. And thanks to a lack of
having Cartoon Network, I probably won't. Though I'm told that might be a
good thing.
--VitaniCat
Oh, and remember Rob; add "Transformers:" before each episode or it's not
the official title! :)
--GR Crosscut
SPRINGER: So, watching Hot Shot get beaten up is about as thrilling as
watching a new Transformers cartoon for the first time, eh?
PERCEPTOR: It would appear so.
[Pause.]
PERCEPTOR: Uhm... is there supposed to be a joke here?
ARCEE: I think that was it.
------------------------------
*** Best Single Episode Ever
1 A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court
1 Aftermath
1 Arise: Pretenders! (Masterforce)
1 Credulous
1 Desertion of the Dinobots, part 1
1 Desertion of the Dinobots, part 2
1 Farewell, God Ginrai! (Victory)
1 Feral Scream
1 Kremzeek!
1 Rebellion
1 Rebirth, part 2
1 Scramble City
1 The Decepticons
1 The Key
1 The Key to Vector Sigma, part 1
1 The Reformatting
1 Trans-Europe Express
1 Transport to Oblivion
1 Ultra Magnus: Forced Fushion
2 A Better Mousetrap
2 A Friendly Contest
2 Awaken, Victory Leo! (Victory)
2 Carnage in C-Minor
2 Commandos
2 Dark Voyage
2 Divide and Conquer
2 Double Jeopardy
2 Fight or Flee
2 Forever is a Long Time Coming
2 Hoist Goes Hollywood
2 Master of the House
2 Megatron's Master Plan, part 1
2 Other Victories
2 Sea Change
2 Secret Weapon D-5
2 Spark War, part 1: The Strike
2 Spark War, part 3: The Siege
2 Surprise Party
2 The Big Broadcast Of 2006
2 The Fish Test
2 The Gambler
2 The Human Element
2 Transformers: Zone
3 A Prime Problem
3 Atlantis, Arise!
3 Auto-Bop
3 B.O.T.
3 Chain of Command
3 Countdown to Extinction
3 Dark Designs
3 Deep Metal
3 Face of the Nijika
3 Final Battle! Fire Convoy! (Car Robots)
3 Fire on the Mountain
3 First Encounter
3 Fortress Maximus
3 Gail
3 Grimlock's New Brain
3 Jungle
3 Law of the Jungle
3 Nightmare Planet
3 Only Human
3 Other Visits, part 1
3 Power to Burn
3 Proving Grounds
3 Rebirth, part 1
3 Seeds of the future
3 Swoop
3 The Core
3 The Immobilizer
3 The Master Builders
3 The Spark
3 The Ultimate Doom, part 1
3 Triple Takeover
3 Underground
4 Money is Everything
4 Nemesis, part 1
4 Other Voices, part 2
4 Roll for It
4 Sky-Byte Saves the Day
4 Star Saber, Hero of the Universe (Victory)
4 The Insecticon Syndrome
4 The Secret of Omega Supreme
4 Traitor
5 A Plague of Insecticons
5 Changing Of The Guard
5 Dweller in the Depths
5 In Darkest Knight
5 Make Tracks
5 Microbots
5 Possession
5 Spark of Darkness
5 The Low Road
5 The Search for Alpha Trion
6 Crossing The Rubicon
6 Life Can Be Sacrificed For Planet Earth (Headmasters)
6 Overmatch
6 Return of Optimus Prime, part 2
6 S.O.S. Dinobots
6 The God Gambit
6 The Probe
7 Attack of the Autobots
7 City of Steel
7 The Killing Jar
8 Masquerade
9 The Agenda, part 1
9 War Of The Dinobots
10 Bad Spark
10 Master Blaster
10 Starscream's Ghost
10 The Agenda, part 2
12 Ghost in the Machine
12 The Ultimate Weapon
13 Enter the Nightbird
13 The Golden Lagoon
14 Cosmic Rust
14 Revenge of Bruticus
17 War Dawn
18 Fire in the Sky
19 Nemesis, part 2
20 Starscream's Brigade
22 Heavy Metal War
22 The Burden Hardest to Bear
23 More Than Meets the Eye, part 1
24 Auto Berserk
27 Transmutate
34 Webworld
38 Dark Awakening
44 Call of the Primitives
44 The Agenda, part 3
186 Code of Hero
Wow, watching "Code of Hero" again makes me realize how much better
Dinobot is than Hot Shot.
--Thunderwing04
Traitor is one of the FEW episodes where Skywarp gets a LOT of lines.Â
Nice to see him not get shafted so much for once.
--Sheba
Webworld. Galvatron gets commited then blows #@$! up. It doesn't get much
better than that.
--BWAAAA!
"The Fish Test". Japanese personality tests meet BW humour, and Sky-byte
is the new Waspinator.
--Ryan "Darwinian Road Kill" Hawe
"Dweller in the Depths", definitely. Transformers do B-Movie complete
with walking undead. What's not to love?
--Velvet Glove
Microbots (The episode isn't that great, but it has drunk Decepticons.
Drunk decepticons kick butt.)
--NeoDragon
SPRINGER: Sure, and sober Decepticons kick even more butt!
------------------------------
*** Best Multiple-Part Episode Ever
3 Cybertron is in Grave Danger! (Headmasters)
3 Transport To Oblivion
4 Ultra Magnus/Ultra Magnus: Forced Fusion
4 War of the Dinobots
5 Armada pilot (First Encounter/Metamorphasis/Base)
5 Coming of the Fuzors
5 Feral Scream
5 Other Visits
6 Revelations
6 The Miracle Warriors - The Targetmasters! (Headmasters)
9 The Trigger
11 Sparkwar
22 Endgame
26 Other Voices
27 Desertion of the Dinobots
27 Megatron's Master Plan
31 Dinobot Island
35 The Key to Vector Sigma
42 The Ultimate Doom
43 Return of Optimus Prime
48 Rebirth
55 Five Faces of Darkness
91 Nemesis
174 More Than Meets the Eye (a.k.a. "Arrival From Cybertron")
287 The Agenda
The Agenda. The best of Beast Wars, aside from Code of Hero. Megatron's
plan is revealed at last, and it involves killing Optimus Prime. The best
animation of the series, the return of Ravage from G1, and a cliff- hanger
ending that had you wondering how history would be set right. It doesn't
often get better than this.
--FlameStrike
The Ultimate Doom (G1), just for the name. Regular Doom isn't good enough
for the Transformers, only the Ultimate Doom will do.
--T.H.C
More than Meets the Eye. This set the standard, defined the characters
and made us all into devoted geeks. They didn't have to show different
transformations on Cybertron, but they did. They didn't have to show the
Decepticons bickering or show Optimus Prime as a fallible leader trying to
make the best of a sh*tty situation, But they love us so there it is. It
doesn't get any better than this.
--Brian Blackwell
The Rebirth. Yup, I loved this one. Despite it being filled with possible
innuendo (replace 'despite' with 'because')
--Sixswitch
Sure, the "Agenda" or "Coming of the Fuzors" or even "More Than Meets the
Eye" had a lot of fun stuff, but Other Voices had everything that makes
Sci Fi and Transformers great: hostile aliens, great battle scenes,
memorable dialogue, AND an exploding Optimus!
--Pitten
Well, what am I gonna do, vote for Dinobot Island or something?
--Túrin
ARCEE: What was wrong with "Dinobot Island"?
PERCEPTOR: Perhaps he does not like dinosaurs?
SPRINGER: If you ask me, listening to the Dinobots talk for an hour is
enough reason to avoid that episode.
------------------------------
*** Worst Single Episode or Multiple-Part Episode of the Year
1 Galvatron's Revenge (Robots in Disguise)
1 Overmatch (Armada)
1 Palace (Armada)
1 Sky-Byte Saves the Day (Robots In Disguise)
1 Soldier (Armada)
1 The Human Element (Robots in Disguise)
2 Jungle (Armada)
2 Metamorphosis (Armada)
2 Mystery of the Ultra Magnus (Robots In Disguise)
2 Vacation (Armada)
3 Ruin (Armada)
4 Base (Armada)
4 Comrade (Armada)
17 Transformers: Armada pilot (First Encounter/Metamorphasis/Base)
22 First Encounter (Armada)
27 Carnival (Armada)
Carnival. Hey, this show is called The Humans, with a special guest
appearance by the Transformers!
--Ty Stalnaker
"Transformers: Soldier" - Most of this episode is just standard Armada
hyper-mediocrity, but the so-called battle sequence that takes up the last
ten minutes is just profoundly wonky. I've heard of cartoon that have
given kids seizures, but this is the first show I've seen that actually
gave *itself* one!
--Jonathan Boetto / "Iacon"
First three episodes of Armada. I've never been so embarrassed to be a
transfan.
--Maximus Primal
"Comrade". This episode shows there's a vast difference between failing to
make a good show, and not trying at all.
--Eric Schwartz
I can't remember its name, but it was the RiD episode where Gigatron sat
around on his Gigathrone and did Giganothing, Skybyte got himself blown
up, Sideburn chased red cars, The Spychangers pulled random powers out of
their Arses, the Build Team goofed off and then Prime pulled out a plot
contrivance and saved everyone. Oh wait, that's all of them.
--Rick R. Mortis
Watched Armada at all?
--Dancouga1
RID's "The Mystery of Ultra Magnus". Clip shows are boring. Plus, they
aired it out of order!
--Anon e Mouse Jr.
PERCEPTOR: Oh, my.
SPRINGER: And people said the post-movie cartoon episodes were bad.
ARCEE: Guess we should be thankful for "Armada," then.
SPRINGER: I'll send them a fruit basket.
------------------------------
*** Worst Single Episode Ever
1 Auto-Bop
1 Battle Protocol
1 Beast Wars, part 2
1 Blaster's Blues
1 Endgame, part 1: The Downward Spiral
1 Feral Scream, part 2
1 Make Tracks
1 Proving Grounds
1 Roll For It
1 Sideburn's Obsession
1 The Reformatting
1 Thief in the Night
1 Vacation
2 A Prime Problem
2 Changing Gears
2 Crossing the Rubicon
2 End of the Line
2 Endgame, part 2: When Legends Fall
2 Fire on the Mountain
2 Mercenary Pursuits
2 Optimal Situation
2 Other Victories
2 Ruin
2 S.O.S. Dinobots
2 Secret of the Ruins
2 Sparkwar, part 3: The Seige
2 The Core
2 The Decepticons
2 Triple Takeover
3 A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court
3 Aerial Assault
3 Code of Hero
3 Enlarge, Fortress Maximus!
3 Face of the Nijika
3 Hoist Goes Hollywood
3 Master Blaster
3 Master of the House
3 Megatron's Master Plan, part 1
3 Nemesis, part 1
3 Only Human
3 Other Visits
3 Rebirth
3 Revelations, part 3: Apocalypse
3 Savage Noble
3 Spider's Game
3 The Agenda, part 1
3 The God Gambit
3 The Human Element
3 The Killing Jar
3 The Ultimate Weapon
3 War of the Dinobots
4 Big Broadcast of 2006
4 Double Jepoardy
4 Prehistory
4 The Secret of Omega Supreme
5 Call of the Primitives
5 Go With the Flow
5 The Autobot Run
5 The Golden Lagoon
5 Transformers: Zone
6 Soldier
6 The Ultimate Robot Warrior
6 Webworld
7 Grimlock's New Brain
7 Kremzeek!
7 Metamorphasis
7 Money is Everything
8 Atlantis, Arise!
8 Sea Change
8 Transmutate
9 Prime Target
10 Forbidden Fruit
10 Secret Weapon D-5
12 Autobot Spike
12 The Fish Test
13 Jungle
13 Madman's Paradise
14 Base
14 Comrade
15 The Weak Component
16 First Encounter
17 Child's Play
19 B.O.T.
19 Nightmare Planet
22 Endgame, part 3: The Seeds of the Future
22 Enter the Nightbird
23 The Low Road
26 The Girl Who Loved Powerglide
30 Surprise Party
51 Carnival
55 City of Steel
130 Carnage in C-Minor
Carnage in C-Minor. A googolplex of Transfans can't be wrong.
--Mark A. Brown
Carnival. At least "Carnage in C-Minor" is good for laughs.
--Thunderwing04
"Carnival" almost was my number one choice, but I decided that the Armada
kids and Mini-Cons are not nearly as annoying as that which was "City Of
Steel."
--"The Mad Bomber" Bombshell
Enter the Nightbird wouldn't have been so bad if they'd taken out
Nightbird and replaced her with something interesting. Like a rock. Or an
amoeba.
--Zodiac
Code of Hero, 'cause it's been blown WAY out of proportion.
--Wavelength
"Face of the Nijika." Hoo Boy. Perceptor, the brains of the outfit and the
guy who, in the comics, led the resistance in Polyhex for a couple of
million years, gets turned into a geisha. Oh, and Perceptor's brain is in
his Autobot symbol. Right in the middle of his chest. Where's he's most
likely to get hit by a stray shot. Hmm, maybe he's not so smart after all?
--Thundercracker1978
Call of the Primitives. So Unicron's not a god of darkness, he's an out of
control science experiment created by a bloody monkey who gets out-witted
by GRIMLOCK?
--Tom "Cliffjumper" Prankerd
'Crossing the Rubicon' takes quasi-goth Blackarachnia and turns her into a
Valkyrie in a bikini. With token-chick psychic powers. Don't hit your
head on the glass ceiling, baby.
--Wayward
SPRINGER: So, Perceptor, do you still keep your personality module in
your univeral emulator these days?
PERCEPTOR: Oh, no -- now I have it safely stored in a trust fund.
SPRINGER: Well, THAT explains a lot.
ARCEE: Oh, hush.
------------------------------
*** Worst Multiple-Part Episode Ever
1 The Big Broadcast of 2005/The Quintesson Journal
2 Fortress Maximus/Koji Gets His Wish
3 Coming of the Fuzors
3 The Key to Vector Sigma
3 The Miracle Warriors: The Tagetmasters (Headmasters)
4 Other Voices
8 Nemesis
9 Desertion of the Dinobots
9 Dinobot Island
9 Other Visits
10 More Than Meets the Eye
10 The Agenda
13 Revelations
14 Sparkwar
16 The Trigger
18 Feral Scream
22 Beast Wars (series premiere)
22 Return of Optimus Prime
40 Endgame
44 Megatron's Master Plan
46 The Ultimate Doom
94 Armada premiere (First Encounter/Metamorphasis/Base)
94 Rebirth
96 Five Faces of Darkness
Five faces of Darkness. I actually saw that again recently. I then
reformatted my hard drive to make sure I killed it.
--Matrix Dragon
I actually wanted to say "The entire Beast Machines series," but instead
settled for Endgame, the 3-parter that pulled truckfulls of crap -- I
mean, information -- out of their asses -- I mean, from extrapolations of
the source material -- and revealed to us that Cybertron was actually
lame! I mean, organic. Whatever. Not that I'm bitter.
--Stanley Lui
Did RID have multi-parts? If it did, the answer is RID
--Esquilax
All dubbed versions of the Japanese Masterforce, Headmasters, Victory,
Zone - Cartoon show, just because they are dubbed.
--Lee Porter, Ark-Ivor
[And from the "One Big Pile-On" pile...]
Armada, it just keeps going and going
--Starscreamer
Transformers Robots In Disguise entire series
--King of Pain
Until you set an upper limit to the number of episodes in a multi-part,
I'm going to keep answering BM.
--Dave Connell
Hell, *all* of Beast Wars.....
--Raksha
Return of Optimus Prime -- thankfully we know what happens by looking at
the video box, so don't need to watch it.
--Tom "Cliffjumper" Prankerd
SPRINGER: Aw, you can tell what happens just from the title alone!
------------------------------
*** Best Transformers Cartoon Quote
1 "Sky-Bite, terro....ejoiufjreoi --Sky-Byte,
terrorllxlldsklfdsklfds...." (Spychangers to the Rescue)
1 Billy: "Does that mean Hot Shot is the most powerful Transformer in
the galaxy?"
Optimus Prime (Armada): "You're absolutely right, Billy!" (Swoop)
1 Black Convoy: "Black Convoy... transform." (The Decepticons)
1 Blackarachnia: "No slag, Sherlock! I'm evil!" (The Agenda, part 2)
1 Blackarachnia: "You'll live to regret this, crab legs!"
Rampage (BW): "I regret everything... my sweet." (Master Blaster)
1 Blitzwing: "If I want to know what's on your mind, I'll splatter it
on the wall and see for myself!" (Triple Takeover)
1 Blitzwing: "Why don't you build yourselves a bridge and jump off
it!" (Triple Takeover)
1 Brave Maximus: "Mother Earth is under my protection. You will not
harm her." (?)
1 Bumblebee: "I didn't know human teeth had skin!"
(Transport to Oblivion)
1 Bumblebee: "Okay, Spike! You rat on me, I'll splat on you!"
(Fire in the Sky)
1 Carlos: "You feel pain, right?"
Red Alert: "Sorry, your question is not relevant to our mission.
Let's keep moving!" (Comrade)
1 Depth Charge: "...Raw energon. Right through your twisted Spark.
Take it! Take it straight to the Pit, you sickening piece of
SLAG!" (Nemesis, part 1)
1 Dinobot II: "Quarry detected: Grid Joona." (Go with the Flow)
1 Dr. Archeville: "And how do you propose that I get there? On my
roller skates?!"Â (Countdown to Extinction)
1 Dr. Archeville: "I will be ruler of a DEAD world!"
(Countdown to Extinction)
1 Fortress Maximus: "Deceptions. Prepare to face ... Fortress
Maximus!" (The Rebirth, part 3)
1 Galvatron (orig.): "First you let Scourge and Starscream steal one
of Trypticon's eyes. And then you let Astrotrain be used as their
escape vehicle. So Scourge is helping Starscream voluntarily, and
your four were unable to stop them. Well, all I can say is
YAAAARRRGH!" (Ghost in the Machine)
1 Galvatron (orig.): "Strategy is for cowards!" (Webworld)
1 Galvatron (orig.): "There will be no war today, Optimus Prime."
(Return of Optimus Prime, part 2)
1 Galvatron (orig.): "You broke it, didn't you? You broke the Matrix,
DIDN'T YOU?!" (The Burden Hardest to Bear)
1 Goldbug: "Okay, Optimus -- what's the plan?"
Optimus Prime: "Plan? I ... have no plan."
(Return of Optimus Prime, part 2)
1 Grimlock (orig.): "We Dinobots always here to pull Autobot diodes
out of laser fire." (Atlantis, Arise!)
1 Grimlock: "Optimus Prime ... can you forgive? Me Grimlock was
jealous of you." (War of the Dinobots)
1 Hot Rod: "Seven hundred of you against three of them? Come on,
Kup!"
Kup: "Have you ever met a Regulan Metal-Monger, lad?"
Hot Rod: "No."
Kup: "Trust me, we were outnumbered."
(Rebirth, part 1)
1 Hot Shot: "Time for a system crash!" (?)
1 Inferno (BW): "Royalty! You've come for me!" (Aftermath)
1 Ironhide: "I'll stop them!" (More Than Meets the Eye, part 1)
1 Ironhide: "Leakin' lubricant!" (various)
1 Ironhide: "Shut yer trap now before I program some humility into ya
with mah FIST!" (The Key to Vector Sigma, part 2)
1 Ironhide: "When you got it, use it!" (The Ultimate Doom, part 1)
1 Jazz: "Hey, guys, how 'bout some tunes?"
(Desertion of the Dinobots, part 1)
1 Jazz: "Hey, wow! Rock and roll with real rocks!"
Sparkplug: "It's called an AVALANCHE!" (Attack of the Autobots)
1 Megatron (BW): "And there came a hero who said, 'Hurt not the earth.
Nor the sea. Nor the trees. Nor the very fabric of time!' But the
hero would not prevail!"
Optimus Primal: "Finish the quote, Megatron -- 'Nor would he
surrender!'" (Nemesis, part 2)
1 Megatron (BW): "Oh, well, come on, let's have it. The usual
'destiny and honor' speech--"
Optimus Primal: "Speech THIS." **POW!** (Nemesis, part 2)
1 Megatron (BW): "We must pay attention, Dinobot, otherwise -- deary
me -- look what happens!" (Possession)
1 Megatron (BW): "What sheer ruthlessness! What disregard for
sentient life! I rather like these aliens."
(Other Voices, part 2)
1 Megatron (orig.): "Ah, those were the good old days, back on
Cybertron! Didn't have to sneak around in these ugly Earth
disguises, heh!" (Microbots)
1 Megatron (orig.): "I do this only for the benefit of my Decepticons.
It grieves me that you may also profit." (The Core)
1 Megatron (orig.): "Now, load me." (Countdown to Extinction)
1 Megatron (orig.): "This is only the beginning. The sum of Earth's
magnificent energy will be mine. I have won!"
(The Ultimate Doom, part 1)
1 Megatron (orig.): "You don't frighten me, you mechanical
throwbacks!"
Grimlock: "Good, Megatron. We LOVE stupid enemies!"
(Atlantis, Arise!)
1 Megatron (orig.): "You're either lying, or you're stupid!"
Starscream (orig.): "I'm stupid, I'm stupid!" (Triple Takeover)
1 Megatron (orig., referring to Nightbird): "She's everything I've
always wanted!" (Enter the Nightbird)
1 Megatron (orig., to Shockwave): "I entrust Cybertron to you."
(More Than Meets the Eye, part 1)
1 Omega Supreme: "Sarcasm - not appreciated." (The God Gambit)
1 Optimus Primal: "Forget the seeds of the future -- I'm burying YOU
in the past!" (Wolf in the Fold)
1 Optimus Primal: "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings,
Megatron!" (Optimal Situation)
1 Optimus Primal: "Well, that's just prime." (various)
1 Optimus Prime (orig.): "Laserbeak, you tinfoil turkey!"
(A Prime Problem)
1 Optimus Prime (RiD): "Your imagery is derivative. It lacks semiotic
cohesion." (The Hunt for the Black Pyramid)
1 Optimus Prime: "Rodimus! Innocent lives are at stake!"
Rodimus Prime: "NO ONE is innocent!"
(Return of Optimus Prime, part 2)
1 Optimus Prime: "Thanks!" (More Than Meets the Eye, part 1)
1 Optimus Prime: "There's a fine line between being a hero, and being
a memory." (More Than Meets the Eye, part 2)
1 Quickstrike: "There just ain't no figgerin' a female."
Tarantulas: "A fact of life, Fuzor." (Tangled Web)
1 Rampage (BW): "Ignore the pain ... it's only going to get worse!"
(Deep Metal)
1 Rampage (BW): "Share my pain..." (?)
1 Ratchet: "Why, you--! You wouldn't know a microchip from a potato
chip!" (Attack of the Autobots)
1 Rattrap: "Hey--! Ya emasculatin' fembot!" (Nemesis, part 2)
1 Rattrap: "Oh boo! Boo hoo! Oh!... don't stop now... you
motorheads're KILLIN' me." (A Better Mousetrap)
1 Red Alert: "With friends like these -- real friends -- it's easy to
be brave." (Auto-Berzerk)
1 Robot in ceiling: "Hey, I'm stuck up here!"
Cyclonus: "Everybody's got to be somewhere." (Fight or Flee)
1 Rodimus Prime: "Don't suppose I could interest you in a used
mantle?" (The Big Broadcast of 2006)
1 Rumble: "Don't you tourists know hanging out in Central Park..."
Frenzy: "...can be hazardous..."
Soundwave: "...to your health?" (City of Steel)
1 Rumble: "You humans sure can't take it." (The Ultimate Doom, part 2)
1 Sixshot: "Five up, five down -- it's like shooting cyber-ducks in a
barrel." (Rebirth, part 1)
1 Sixshot: "I am Sixshot, the Decepticon's ninja consultant."
(The Four Warriors from the Sky, Headmasters Singapore dub)
1 Sky-Byte: "Come to Sky-Byte, little o-parts! -- bah. Just an old
bomb that never went off." *toss* "--UNTIL NOW!" ***BOOM!!***
(Ultra Magnus)
1 Sky-Byte: "I'm not a jellyfish, I have cartilige!" (The Fish Test)
1 Sky-Byte: "Now Megatron will see that I'm the sharpest shark in the
fish tank of evil!" (The Two Faces of Ultra Magnus)
1 Sky-Byte: "Who's the shark NOW, baby?"
(Ultra Magnus: Forced Fushion)
1 Slapper: "That's not fair! He's ignoring the laws of gravity!"
(Skid-Z's Choice)
1 Soundwave: "Rumble, Ravage, Laserbeak: eject. Operation: warfare."
(More Than Meets the Eye, part 3)
1 Spike: "But there's no car!"
Grimlock: "Me Grimlock need no car!"
(Desertion of the Dinobots, part 2)
1 Spike: "Danny... Danny, boys can cry, but not out loud. Men don't
cry." (I Risk My Life For Planet Earth, Headmasters Singapore dub)
1 Spike: "You okay, Bumblebee?"
Bumblebee: "Outta gas... but not outta luck!"
(The Ultimate Doom, part 2)
1 Starscream (orig.): "I will succeed were others have failed."
(Auto Berserk)
1 Starscream (orig., to Megatron): "Let me guess... retreat?"
(The Autobot Run)
1 Starscream: "Especially since he managed to do in two days what you
haven't done in two years." (Prime Target)
1 Starscream: "I, Starscream, am your new leader!" (various)
1 Starscream: "It's never too late, Autobot!" (Transport to Oblivion)
1 Starscream: "Time makes all things possible; I can wait."
(More Than Meets the Eye, part 2)
1 Thrust (BM): "If you're loyal to everybody, can you really be loyal
to anybody?" (Spark of Darkness)
1 Ultra Magnus (RiD): "Too much noise, not enough fighting!"
(Power to Burn!)
1 Various: "Shut up, Rattrap." (various)
1 Various: "Starscream!" (various)
1 Waspinator: "Waspinator not want to be destroyed! Waspinator has
plans!" (Other Voices, part 2)
1 Waspinator: "Waspinator sick of being evil! Sick of being Predacon!
Oh, Waspinator especially sick of getting blown to scrap all the
time! So, Waspinator QUIT! As of now, which means ant-bot and
two-head can just pucker their mandibles and plant BIG, wet juicy
one right on Waspinator's big -- fat -- stripey--" *BLAM!*
(Nemesis, part 1)
1 Waspinator: "Why universe hate Waspinator?" (Deep Metal)
1 Wreck-Gar: "Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too?"
(Return of Optimus Prime, part 1)
1 X-Brawn: "Swim swim swim swim swimswimswimswim-- dang." (Commandos)
2 Astrotrain: "These fools worship Transformers!" (The God Gambit)
2 Brawn: "I'll get the door." *CRASH* (The Ultimate Doom, part 3)
2 Dinobot: "A deed, once done, cannot be undone. But perhaps... it
may yet be mitigated!" (Code of Hero)
2 Dinobot: "The question that has haunted my being has been answered.
The future is not fixed -- my choices are my own. Yet ... how
ironic. For I now find that I have no choice at all. I am
warrior ... let the battle be joined." (Code of Hero)
2 Grimlock (orig.): "Me Grimlock laugh at little wimp who make big
trouble... Me Grimlock here to save universe!"
(Call of the Primitives)
2 Grimlock:Â "Me Grimlock not care, whole planet fall apart! Make no
difference to me, Grimlock."
Wheeljack: "With you on it?"
Grimlock:Â "Hmm... hadn't thought of that."
(The Ultimate Doom, part 2)
2 Megatron (BW): "And now, Optimus Prime, in memory of the
Decepticons, for the glory of the Predacons, for the Cybertron
that is rightfully ours -- and mine to rule ... I unleash the
storm of vengeance! Farewell!" (The Agenda, part 3)
2 Megatron (BW): "I am Alpha and Omega. The beginning, and the end...
I am that which is, which was, and is yet to come. And you will
know my name is Megatron, when I lay my vengeance upon you."
(Nemesis, part 2)
2 Megatron (BW): "Yesssssssssssss..." (various)
2 Megatron (orig.): "Power flows to the one who knows how. Desire
alone is not enough." (More Than Meets the Eye, part 2)
2 Optimus Prime (orig.): "Amazing! A booby trap that actually catches
boobies." (Prime Target)
2 Optimus Prime (orig.): "Autobots, transform and roll out." (various)
2 Optimus Prime (orig.): "Monsters ... They made me a weapon, to
destroy the very ones I loved in life. But you will save them,
Rodimus Prime." (Dark Awakening)
2 Rattrap: "Oh, yeah, yeah, heh heh, scouting the enemy, yeah. Heh
heh. Find any new ... POSITIONS?" (The Agenda, part 1)
2 Rattrap: "We're all gonna die." (various)
2 Sky-Byte: "My enemies have found me / They surround me and confound
me / And with inbound missiles hound me / As they pound the ground
around me / But with one astounding bound I shall escape -- BYE!"
(The Test)
2 Sky-Byte: "Who's the baddest shark around? Who's the smartest shark
in town? Sky-Byte, that's me! Who'll drive Scourge into the
ground / And never let old Megatron down? Sky-Byte, that's me!"
(Koji Gets His Wish)
2 Skywarp: "Have a good time playing crystal nurse, screamer! BYE!"
(Fire on the Mountain)
2 Various: "Decepticons, retreat!" (various)
3 Grimlock (orig.): "Uhh...You wrong. And you UGLY, too!"
(Dinobot Island, part 2)
3 Rattrap (about the Ark): "That ship wasn't built, it was POURED!"
Optimus Primal: "Die-cast construction -- it's a lost art."
(The Agenda, part 3)
3 Ravage: "Decepticons FOREVER!" (The Agenda, part 3)
4 Beachcomber: "We won." (The Golden Lagoon)
4 Dinobot: "Tell my tale to those who ask. Tell it truly -- the ill
deeds, along with the good -- and let me be judged accordingly.
The rest ... is silence." (Code of Hero)
4 Scorponok (orig.): "So! Fortress Maximus has come himself. Okay
then! I shall get Fortress Maximus to fight me, heh heh heh!"
(I Risk My Life For Planet Earth, Headmasters Singapore dub)
8 Ultra Magnus (orig.): "I've never seen anything this beautiful in
the entire galaxy. ... Okay, give me the bomb." (Fight or Flee)
G1 Scorponok. "So! Fortress Maximus has come himself. Okay then! I shall
get Fortress Maximus to fight me, heh heh heh!" Good Heavens, it's so bad
it's hilarious!
--VitaniCat
The bit Optimus Prime says about "being the good guys and going to win
from Megatron" at the end of 'Battle Protocol!' in RiD. WHILE standing
before a *mountain* of rubble and busted buildings. Just how f*cking naive
does Prime think humans are?
--Thomas Hamann
Quickstrike: "There jest ain't no figgerin' a female." So true,
Quickstrike, so true...
--Blitz_64
"We Dinobots always here to pull Autobot diodes out of laser fire", from
Atlantis Arise. In one sentence, Grimlock captures the essence of the
Dinobot/Autobot relationship, said in that resigned/scornful/prideful
tone.
--Kevona
Carlos: You feel pain, right?
Red Alert: Sorry, your question is not relevant to our mission. Let's keep
moving! ("Comrade")
Red Alert nicely stands up for all us disgruntled fans who are undeniably
sick of whiny Armada humans by ignoring Carlos's stupid question, letting
the kid know just how worthless he is! Brought a tear to my eye, it did!
--Srini Varanasi
"Waspinator sick of being evil! Sick of being Predacon!" Hands up all
those who fast-forwarded to "BLAM!" at this point.
--Aaron Hong, Spirit Force Red Ranger
SPRINGER: Ah, but then you miss out on Waspinator mooning the audience!
ARCEE: Thank you for THAT mental image.
SPRINGER: Hey, blame the wasp, not me.
PERCEPTOR: Actually, given that almost all video-cassette players and
DVD players sold today support visual fast-forwarding, it is entirely
possible to advance to the desired gunfight scene and not miss the--
ARCEE: Let's just move on...
------------------------------
*** Best Fight Scene in an Episode
1 Alexis vs. Rad, "First Encounter"
1 Autobots vs. Decepticons at the Decepticon base, "More Than Meets
the Eye, part 3"
1 Autobots vs. Decepticons on the moon, "Call of the Primitives"
1 Blackarachnia vs. Dinobot 2, "Proving Grounds"
1 Blackarachnia vs. Trarantulas, "Tangled Web"
1 Broadside vs. Devastator, "Carnage in C-Minor"
1 Dinobots vs. Constructions, "Heavy Metal War"
1 Dinobots vs. Tornitron, "Call of the Primitives"
1 Fortress Maximus vs. Scorponok (orig.), "Rebirth, part 3"
1 Galvatron (BW2) vs. Magmatron, Beast Wars Neo
1 God Ginrai vs. Overlord in the desert, "Battle in the Desert"
(Masterforce)
1 Hardhead vs. Chromedome, "Life Can Be Sacrificed for Planet Earth"
(Headmasters)
1 Hot Shot and the Star Saber vs. Starscream (Armada), "Overmatch"
1 Hot Shot vs. Scavenger, "Gail"
1 Hot Shot with the Star Saber vs. Megatron (Armada), "Swoop"
1 Hot Shot with the Star Saber vs. the Decepticons, "Overmatch"
1 Optimus Primal slices off Megatron's (BW) arm, "Dark Designs"
1 Optimus Primal vs. Dinobot, "Beast Wars, part 2"
1 Optimus Primal vs. Transmetal 2 Megatron, "Master Blaster"
1 Optimus Prime (Armada) grabs Starscream (Armada) by the head, (?)
1 Optimus Prime (orig.) vs. Megatron (orig.), "Divide and Conquer"
1 Optimus Prime (orig.) vs. Rodimus Prime (orig.), "Return of Optimus
Prime, part 2"
1 Optimus Prime (orig.) vs. Starscream (orig.), "A Prime Problem"
1 Optimus Prime (RiD) and Ultra Magnus (RiD) vs. the Decepticons and
Predacons, (?)
1 Optimus Prime (RiD) vs. Megatron (RiD), "Battle Protocol!"
1 Optimus Prime (RiD) vs. Scourge (RiD), "Koji Gets His Wish"
1 Predaking vs. Tornitron, "Call of the Primitives"
1 Prowl vs. the Decepticons, "Roll for It"
1 Rattrap gives Waspinator a robo-noogie, "Other Voices, part 1"
1 Rhinox vs. Ravage's stealth cruiser, "The Agenda, part 3"
1 Sky Lynx vs. Predaking, "Five Faces of Darkness, part 5"
1 Skyfire vs. Shockwave, "Megatron's Master Plan, part 2"
1 Springer and Razorclaw vs. imaginary dragon, "Nightmare Planet"
1 Superion and Omega Superme vs. Menasor, "The Key to Vector Sigma,
part 2"
1 Swoop and Snarl vs. the Autobots, "War of the Dinobots"
1 The Dinobots vs. the Decepticons, "S.O.S. Dinobots"
1 Tigatron vs. Inferno (BW), Terrorsaur, and Waspinator, "Law of the
Jungle"
1 Tornitron vs. the Autobots and Decepticons, "Call of the Primitives"
1 Ultra Magnus and the Protectobots vs. Galvatron (orig.), "Rebirth,
part 2"
1 Victory Leo vs. the Destrons, "Awaken, Victory Leo!" (Victory)
1 Victory Saber vs. the Destron fortress, "Charge! The Fortress
against the Victory Combination" (Victory)
2 Autobots and the Negavator vs. Soundwave and the cassettes, "Auto
Berserk"
2 Blaster vs. Soundwave, "Auto-Bop"
2 Brawn shoots Megatron (orig.) with Megatron's fusion cannon, "Fire
on the Mountain"
2 Bruticus vs. Devastator, "Starscream's B