The Fellowship
Copyright 2004, Robert A. Jung (rjung@mac.com)
All characters depicted or mentioned in this story are the trademarks
and/or copyrights of their respective holders, except for those that
aren't. Any resemblance to actual people, alive or deceased, is
coincidental, etc., etc. Geez, it's just a story, guys. Don't get
too uptight over it...
* * *
"Errr..."
Sparkplug stopped, mildly embarassed at himself. He had never
been skilled at public speaking before, and all the time he spent as
Optimus Prime's liason to the Minicons haven't helped any. Stammering
like a befuddled drone merely underscored the nervousness he felt.
He hesitated, then tried again. "Errr--" (No, idiot!} "--Welcome,
everyone. Ah, I-- it's good to see you all here. I don't know what
you may have heard already, so I'll start at the beginning, and we can
all--"
"Get to the point already!" Buzzsaw shouted from the audience,
with a scattering of ayes for support.
Sparkplug gaped in surprise, then shut his mouth again. Minicons
tended to be mildly suspicious and anxious at the best of times, since
one never knew when a passing Transformer might want to capture you
and exploit your power-boosting abilities. Keeping them cooped up for
several hours at the Trannies' "green room" only served to magnify
that anxiety.
"Yes, well--" (You're stammering again stop it!) "--if you haven't
heard, Rob's been getting some complaints lately about the Trannies--"
"SOME?!" laughed Stormcloud, amused with himself.
"--about the presenters," Sparkplug pressed on. "Too many folks
were saying the hosts were too G1-centric, that there wasn't equal
time for the later Transformers franchises."
Runway chimed in. "Which is where we come in, right?"
"Exactly. Since we Minicons represent the current trend in the
Transformers franchise -- and because we're neutrals -- we'll get to
host this year's awards show."
A smattering of cheers and comments came from the crowd, and
Sparkplug continued. "Of course, due to the format of the show, only
three of us will get to host it. Robert's given me this list of what
kinds of characters he wants for the Trannies, so I thought I'd read
each entry, then we can see who's interested and get a volunteer for
each part."
There was some more quiet muttering from the audience. Not
everyone was thrilled with the idea, but offhand, no one could think
of a different solution offhand. Unfolding a sheet of paper,
Sparkplug began to read. "'Character #1: Grizzled, abrasive, rough-
and-tumble rogue, somewhat sarcastic.'"
"That's me!" Leader-1 shouted.
"YOU?!" Dualor roared. "You've spent a million years as
Megatron's in-house whipping boy! What kind of qualification is
that?"
"Hey, it beats kidnapping Minicons to the Moon and strapping
humans to mines!"
Dead-End quipped, "Oh, don't tell me you didn't like THAT."
"Hah!" Gunbarrel snorted. "Compared to me, the rest of you are a
bunch of processor-dead garbagebots! Step aside and let a REAL
Minicon do the job!"
"That'll be the day!"
There was a push, then a shove, then a punch, and the next
thing Sparkplug knew, a dozen Minicons had gathered in a knot and
were fighting it out with anyone within reach. The others quickly
stepped back to give them space, but the crowded room made for a
tight fit. Fortunately, in a bout of narrative convenience, the
dueling Minicons quickly drifted to an adjacent warehouse, allowing
them to work out their dispute as violently as they wished.
Sparkplug spoke again, yelling slightly to be heard above the
distant din. "Uhhh..." (Idiot!) "Okay, while they're sorting that
out, let's move on. 'Character #2: Cute and perky female. MUST BE
CUTE.'"
Every head turned to the far corner, where a handful of female
Minicons looked up in response.
"Don' look at me," Falcia snapped. "I ain't eye candy for
anybody, capite?"
"Me neither," added Combustia. "If you wants a pretty pink
girlie-bot, go call Arcee. Muy muchacha bonita, si?"
"I'll do it, I'll do it!" Twirl yelled, jumping up and down.
Falcia grabbed her by the shoulders. "I don' tink so! Where's
your self-respect, girl? Let's get outta here!"
As Falcia and Combusta dragged the protesting Twirl out of the
room, Sparkplug tried to regain control of the meeting. "Ohhhhh-kay,
so much for that idea..."
"Who else do you have left?" Ramjet asked, slightly irritated.
"Good question! 'Character #3: Comic foil -- nice but slightly
clueless straight man.' What does that mean?"
"It means I'm not interested," Crumplezone retorted. "I don't do
'clueless,' slightly or otherwise."
The remaining Minicons muttered agreement -- hosting the Trannies
was one thing, but self-debasement was another. Centuries of
subservience to the larger Transformers tended to make Minicons overly
protective of what self-esteem they had.
"Guys, guys!" Sparkplug yelled. "Come on, guys! We've got to get
SOMEBODY for this!"
"Why don't you take the part?" Jolt jeered, to scattered laughter.
Before Sparkplug could respond, a tinny version of the theme music
for "Dharma & Greg" began to play.
Sparkplug produced a cell phone from a subspace pocket, then
flipped it open. "Yes? Oh, yes, Robert, we're-- What? But I don't--
Now? But-- No, they left... yes, with Twirl. No, no... uh, not
yet... But--! Oh, okay..."
As Sparkplug put the phone away, Armorhide asked the obvious
question. "What was that about?"
"That," Sparkplug said with a sigh, "was a request for me to see
who's survived that fight in the next room, because it's time for--"
The 2003
TTTTTTTT RRRRRR AA NNN NN NNN NN II EEEEEEE SSSSSS
TT RR RR AAAA NNNN NN NNNN NN II EE SS
TT RR RRR AA AA NNNNNNNN NNNNNNNN II EEEEE SSSSS
TT RR RR AA AA NN NNN NN NNN II EE SS
TT RR RR AA AAAAAA NN NN NN NN II EEEEEEE SSSSSS
Where "Diebold" is a four-letter word!
SLOW DISSOLVE TO
A glossy hardwood STAGE. Dozens of brushed aluminum COLUMNS ring the
rear perimeter, leaving the front EXPOSED to the audience. RECESSED
lights illuminate the background in VARIOUS PASTEL COLORS, while a
single ALUMINUM podium stands at CENTER stage.
As the music builds to a close, SPARKPLUG and DUALOR enter from stage
left and stage right, respectively, and meet at the podium.
DUALOR: "Nice but slightly clueless," eh? If the name fits...
SPARKPLUG: Oh, hush.
DUALOR: Make me.
[Pause]
So, who's the last member of our group?
SPARKPLUG: I'm not sure; Robert said he'd take care of--
A FLASH OF LIGHT appears behind Dualor and Sparkplug, which quickly
FADES to reveal T-A.I.
T-A.I.: Hello, everybody!
SPARKPLUG: Hello, T-A.I.! Glad you could join us!
T-A.I.: I'm glad to be here!
DUALOR: You've got the "perky" part down, all right.
T-A.I.: It's very easy! Who wouldn't want to be on the Trannies?
SPARKPLUG: Don't ask.
DUALOR: You're certainly easier to deal with than Falcia, at
least.
SPARKPLUG: Uh, yeah... So, anyway, ladies and gentlebots, and fans
of all ages, welcome to the 2003 Trannies! Dualor,
T-A.I. and myself are your hosts for the evening.
DUALOR: Featuring two hours of "clever" jokes from us, smart-
assed remarks from your fellow fans, and Optimus Prime
winning every halfway decent character-based award.
T-A.I.: You can't blame the fans if they genuinely like him.
DUALOR: Watch me.
------------------------------
SPARKPLUG: So, T-A.I., how many votes did we get this year?
T-A.I.: Oh, it's terrific! This time around, we received TWO
HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIVE ballots, an all-time record!
DUALOR: As long as I don't have to count them, I'm estatic.
T-A.I.: And our voters this year are...
Aaron F. Bourque
Aaron Hong, Sergeant Major 1st Armored Rangers
Abrogate
Aernaroth
Airfox
AJ
Allan [Weapon X] Liangco
ALLCREATION666
Alloran
Amanda "Dragonclaw" Wells
Amelie
Andrew Crane
Angelwings
Ann-Marie Coffey
Anonymous
ANROneOfAkind
Anthony "BWAAAA!" Sancilio
aqwaman
Astrocounter
Autobot Chris
Ave Destron
Balonge
Bandit
BifNaked
Bill "RedStreak" Talor
Bill Wade
Blade
Blaster
Blind Zen Archer
Bloodcat
Bluestreak Paul
Bombzab
Botch
Brian Kilby
Brian Williams
BW Glitch
Charl
Chief
Chris "Commander Crayfish" Funaro
Chris McFeely
Conor E
crank
crazysteve
Daikaiju
Dalarsco
Damian "Damolisher" Tait
Daniel "Suspsy" Suh
Dark Ops
Darrell Cobb
Dave "Zobovor" Edwards
Dave Connell
David "Walky" Willis
Dev-Nul+
dirge
Divefire
DJ
Donnie Roberts
Doomstink
Doug Anderson
Drew
Dustin 'Sonic Broom' Verburg
Ethan Hammond
Exar
Excelon Zero
Felix
Finback
Firestorm
Firewalker
FlameStrike
Fort Macs
Frank "Nightscream" Herfjord
Freds Workshop
G.B. Blackrock
Gaijiin
Gears
Gekisou
Goktimus Prime
Guyzer
Hitman Pez
HOOPER_X
HorseTechie
Horsetuna
Hotmissile
Iacon
Ian "Cradok" Tait-Doak
ikado
Implode
Jason "Flashman666" Korenblit
Jen Pacerpaw
Jetstorm666
Joe "TV's Grady" Green
Joel "Jimoin" Hunt
Joona I Palaste
JRisindahouse
Kevin
Kevin H
kidu
KingMob
Klarsh Voxiz
Knave Iespyk
lastmaximal
Lil_ShortOut
Linda
Lonely_Cosmos
Lord Black "Nytetrayn" Draco
Lord Zarak
LoserBroadside
M Sipher
Mako Crab
Manuel "KillerMel" Trinidad
Marc Graham
Marcelo "Rattrap587" Santa Roza
Mark A. Brown
Masked Loser
Matrix Dragon
Matt Super
Maximo Prime
Maximus Buchanan
Maximus Prime
Megan
Merytneith
Michael
Michael "Kil" McCarthy
Michael Loughlin
Mike "Edwin" Boyle
Mike/Sideswipe6520
Montana Buuck
Mrhillz
necrotron
Nelson "Riptor One" Brewer
Nelson Ribeiro
NeroMan
NightViper
Nightwing_22
Noah "Defunct" Carroll
Omega
Patrick Wade
Paul Frawley
Paul Larder
Peter Hodgson
PharaohMegatron
Phil
Philcom
Phoenix186
PlutoniumBoss/"Myles" Carlton Garlick
Polarised
Princess Artemis
Purple Haze
Quag Prime
Quallevra
Raksha
Random Sweep
RandomFerret
Razorpack
Redstreak
reillyd
Rev. Pee Kitty
Richard Mistron
Rick "Aerosurge" Yeatman
Rick R. Mortis
Roadbuster
Robert Powers
robo_rob
Romorini
Royal Zarak
Rum5000
Rumble30
RunawayBishop
Ryan Hawe/Darwinian Road Kill
Ryno
Sailor Cybertron
Scott Kampa
Seawave
Seeker72
ShadowWing
Sharon "Tut" LaBorde
Sheba
ShelShok
Sherri "Arashi" Bragg
Shungokushatsu
Silverfox
Sir Raptor of Nonsense
Sixshot's The Name
Skids
Sky Shadow
Skywarp_TPK
Smashmaster00
Speedbreaker
spi
Squelch the Destron
Srini Varanasi
Stelartron
Stormrave
Stormrider
Strumfender009
Stuart Denyer
Supershine 986
Suzanne M. Ferree
Teratron
The Big Fort Max
The Critic
"The Mad Bomber" Bombshell
Themis56
Thomas Hamann
Thundercracker1978
Thylacine 2000
Tigerpaw28
Tim Roll-Pickering
TM2 Dinobot
Tobias May
Tony Li, the Prime Saber
Track Attack
Ty Stalnaker
Umbak
Velvet Glove
Wayward
Weirdwolf
Whirlwind
William Rendfeld
Winterblast
XxUnicronxX
yakko
Zacku
ZacWilliam
Zodiac
SPARKPLUG: No email addresses?
DUALOR: Not unless you want two hundred and twenty-five fans
pissed at you for giving their emails to every spammer on
AOL.
------------------------------
SPARKPLUG: So, shall we get started?
T-A.I.: Sure! It's what we're here for, right?
DUALOR: And here I thought it was to make fun of the rest of
Transfandom for a few hours.
[Cut to commercials.]
======================================================================
PART I: CHARACTERS
SPARKPLUG: So, are we ready to go?
T-A.I.: Sure am!
DUALOR: Optimus Prime, Optimus Prime, Optimus Prime, and
Starscream.
SPARKPLUG: What was that?
DUALOR: My predictions of who will win the first few awards. As
if anyone's surprised.
*** Absolutely the Most Favorite Character of All Time
1 Astrotrain
1 Big Convoy
1 Bomber Bill
1 Cosmos
1 Deathsarus/Deszaras
1 Doctor Archeville
1 Groove
1 Mindwipe
1 Octopunch
1 Onslaught
1 Optimus Prime (RiD)
1 Prowl (RiD)
1 Raul
1 Roadbuster
1 Scourge (orig.)
1 Seaspray
1 Sixshot
1 Sky Lynx
1 Sludge
1 Snarl (orig.)
1 Spinister
1 Superion
1 T-AI
1 Tailgate (orig.)
1 Thrust (Armada)
1 Twirl
1 Wheeljack (Armada)
2 Breakdown
2 Cheetor
2 Cyclonus (Armada)
2 Dinobot 2
2 First Aid
2 Galvatron (Armada)
2 Hound
2 Huffer
2 Jetstorm (BM)
2 Jhiaxus
2 Kup
2 Moonracer
2 Needlenose
2 Octane
2 Ramjet
2 Skyquake
2 Spike Witwicky
2 Streetwise
2 Tentakill
2 Terrorsaur
2 Trypticon
2 Warpath
3 Apeface
3 Blackarachnia
3 Death's Head
3 Devastator
3 Fireflight
3 Fred
3 God Ginrai
3 Inferno (orig.)
3 Megatron/Galvatron (Armada)
3 Red Alert (orig.)
3 Reflector (orig.)
3 Sandstorm
3 Scavenger (orig.)
3 Scrapper
3 Side Burn
3 Slag
3 Super Fire Convoy (Car Robots)
3 Tommy Kennedy
3 Tracks
3 Ultra Magnus (RiD)
3 Victory Leo
3 Weirdwolf
3 Wreck-Gar
4 Blitzwing
4 Bruticus (orig.)
4 Jetfire/Skyfire (orig.)
4 Mirage (orig.)
4 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
4 Rampage (BW)
4 Swindle (orig.)
5 Blaster
5 Bonecrusher (orig.)
5 Motormaster
5 Perceptor (orig.)
5 Punch-Counterpunch
5 Scourge (RiD)
5 Sideways (Armada)
5 Smokescreen (orig.)
5 Thrust (BM)
5 Thunderwing (orig.)
5 Tigatron
6 Bludgeon
6 Bluestreak
6 Omega Supreme
6 Rumble
7 Fortress Maximus
7 Ironhide (orig.)
8 Predaking
8 Skids (orig.)
8 Star Saber
9 Arcee (orig.)
9 Optimus Primal
9 Tarantulas
10 Nightbeat (orig.)
10 Ratchet (orig.)
10 Silverbolt (BW/BM)
11 Scorponok (orig.)
11 Sky-Byte
11 Springer
12 Wheeljack (orig.)
13 Starscream (Armada/Energon)
14 Bumblebee
14 Thundercracker (orig.)
15 Sideswipe (orig.)
17 Skywarp (orig.)
18 Prowl (orig.)
18 Unicron
18 Waspinator
19 Rhinox
22 Cyclonus (orig.)
23 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
27 Rattrap (BW)
35 Shockwave
36 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime (orig.)
38 Galvatron (orig.)
45 Jazz
46 Megatron (orig.)
49 Dinobot
50 Grimlock (orig.)
55 Soundwave
66 Megatron (BW/BM)
91 Starscream (orig.)
140 Optimus Prime (orig.)
Optimus Prime. The heart of Superman, the voice of the Duke, and the
face of a radiator.
--NightViper
Bumblebee is the Transformer whose personality I most identified with
as a kid. Plus his alt mode was Herbie the Love Bug. What else could
an 8 year old ask for? :)
--ShadowWing
Blackarachnia -- And not because of the obvious 2 reasons!
--Mako Crab
All three votes for G1 Megatron, do you hear me, all you saturnian
simpletons out there?! The almighty magnificence of His Imperial
Badness shall *not* be denied!! All the universe and this award
category shall tremble before his might, and-- Optimus Prime, *here*?
Arrrgh! If Megatron can't have it, noone can! Decepticons, RETREAT!!
[BOOM!]
--Merytneith
RiD Magnus was like an angsty Dirty Harry. "Go ahead, bro. Steal my
Matr-- I mean, make my day."
--Aaron F. Bourque
Man, Skywarp is so keen. I bet he likes chocolate milk.
--Bombzab
Starscream, no question about that. Which Starscream, on the other
hand, could pose a question.
--Quallevra
DUALOR: Now THERE'S the surprise of the year.
SPARKPLUG: Do you have to be so sarcastic?
DUALOR: Can't think of any other way to make this snoozer
entertaining.
T-A.I.: I wouldn't call that "entertaining."
DUALOR: Neither would I.
------------------------------
*** Favorite Character(s), any Faction(s)
1 Afterburner
1 Air Defense Team/Star Saber (Minicons)
1 Alpha Quintesson
1 Arcana
1 Astroscope
1 Backstreet
1 Beastbox
1 Beta (from "Forever is a Long Time Coming")
1 Big Convoy (Beast Wars Neo)
1 Bilge (from "Linkage")
1 Botanica
1 Braver (Victory)
1 Break
1 Build Team/Landfill (RiD)
1 Buster Witwicky
1 Buzzsaw
1 Car Brothers
1 Chromedome
1 Clawjaw
1 Colossus (UK)
1 Combusta (from "Linkage")
1 Councillor Tomaandi
1 Cryotek
1 Dai Atlas
1 Daniel Witwicky
1 Dead End (orig.)
1 Death's Head
1 Demolishor
1 Destruction Team (Minicons)
1 Diagnostic Drone
1 Dinobot 2
1 Dinoforce/Dinoking (Victory)
1 Dirge
1 Dirk Manus (from "Money is Everything")
1 Double Punch
1 Drancron
1 Drench (G2)
1 Eagle Killer
1 Fire Convoy
1 Fireflight
1 Fixit
1 Fred
1 Free Wheeler
1 Galvatron (Beast Wars Second)
1 Gears
1 Gort
1 Grand Slam
1 Grapple
1 Greasepit
1 Groove
1 Hellscream (Beast Wars Second)
1 Hot Shot (Armada)
1 Hot Spot
1 Huffer
1 Ikard (Beast Wars Second)
1 Jaruga (Japanese version of Ravage)
1 Junkions
1 Kelly
1 Kickback
1 Koji Onishi
1 Kranix
1 Laserbeak
1 Lord Straxus
1 Lord Zarak
1 Mixmaster
1 Needlenose
1 Nightflight
1 Nightracer
1 Nosecone
1 Optimal Megatron
1 Optimus Prime (RiD)
1 Optimus Prime (Armada)
1 Optimus Prime/Ultra Magnus/Omega Prime (RiD)
1 Outback
1 Poison Bite
1 Powerdasher
1 Primus
1 Protectobots/Defensor
1 Quake
1 Quickstrike
1 Quickswitch
1 Rack 'n Ruin (UK)
1 Railracer
1 Raindance
1 Rampage (orig.)
1 Raul
1 Razorclaw (orig.)
1 Red Alert (Armada)
1 Rescue Patrol (Micromasters)
1 Ruination
1 Savage/Noble
1 Scattershot
1 Scavenger (orig.)
1 Scuba
1 Seaspray
1 Sharp Edge (Beast Wars Neo)
1 Shipwreck
1 Sideswipe (armada)
1 Sideways (RiD)
1 Siren
1 Skid-Z (Minicon)
1 Skullcruncher
1 Skullgrin
1 Sky Dive
1 Sky Shadow
1 Skyquake
1 Slugfest
1 Snapdragon
1 Space Team (Minicon)/Requiem Blaster
1 Spectro
1 Splashdown
1 Squawktalk
1 Stakeout
1 Stalker (G2)
1 Star Convoy
1 Starscream (Energon)
1 Stella Holly (from "Linkage")
1 Stormcloud
1 Strafe
1 Streetwise
1 Submarauder
1 Swerve
1 Tailwind
1 Tentakill
1 Terrorcons/Abominus
1 Thrust (orig.)
1 Tommy Kennedy (from the live-action Optimus Prime puppet
bumpers)
1 Tote
1 Triggerhappy
1 Tripledecus (Beast Wars Second)
1 Twirl (from "Linkage")
1 Twirl (orig.)
1 Victory Leo
1 Vorath
1 Warpath
1 Whisper
2 Aerialbots/Superion
2 Alexis
2 Apeface
2 Beachcomber
2 Blades
2 Blurr (Armada)
2 Blurr (orig.)
2 Breakdown (G1)
2 Cheetor
2 Cindy Newell
2 Cliffjumper
2 Cyclonus (Armada)
2 Deathsaurus/Deszarus
2 Falcia (from "Linkage")
2 First Aid
2 Galvatron (RiD)
2 Hoist (orig.)
2 Hound
2 Impactor (UK)
2 Jhiaxus
2 Lioconvoy
2 Marissa Fairbourne
2 Megatron/Galvatron (Armada)
2 Metroplex
2 Mindwipe
2 Moonracer
2 Motormaster
2 Nightbird
2 Onslaught
2 Overkill
2 Perceptor (Armada)
2 Pipes
2 Pounce
2 Predaking
2 Prowl (RiD)
2 Punch/Counterpunch
2 Ramjet
2 Reflector
2 Runabout
2 Runamuck
2 Sandstorm
2 Silverbolt (orig.)
2 Sixshot
2 Sparkplug (Armada)
2 Spinister
2 Strika
2 Stunticons/Menasor
2 Tankorr
2 Technobots/Computron
2 Terrorsaur
2 Trailbreaker
2 Ultra Magnus (rid)
2 Weirdwolf
2 Wingspan
2 Wreckers (UK)
3 Airrazor
3 Astrotrain
3 Bluestreak
3 Combaticons/Bruticus (orig.)
3 Cosmos
3 Emirate Xaaron
3 Inferno (orig.)
3 Jetfire (Armada)
3 Mirage (orig.)
3 Misfire
3 Obsidian
3 Octane
3 Omega Supreme
3 Perceptor (orig.)
3 Ratbat
3 Scavenger (Armada)
3 Scourge (orig.)
3 Sky Lynx
3 Thrust (Armada)
3 Thunderwing (orig.)
3 Tracks
3 Wheelie (orig.)
3 Wreck-Gar
3 X-Brawn
4 Blaster
4 Blitzwing
4 Bludgeon
4 Flywheels
4 Fortress Maximus (orig.)
4 Jetfire/Skyfire (orig.)
4 Kup
4 Star Saber (Victory)
4 Tailgate
4 Trypticon
5 Arcee (orig.)
5 Blackarachnia
5 Depth Charge
5 Red Alert (orig.)
5 Sideburn
5 Skids
5 Unicron
5 Wheeljack (Armada)
6 Constructicons/Devastator
6 Frenzy
6 Ginrai/God Ginrai/Super God Ginrai (Masterforce)
6 Scourge (RiD)
6 Silverbolt (BW)
6 Slag
6 Sludge
6 Snarl (orig.)
6 Swindle (orig.)
6 Tigatron
7 Bumblebee
7 Ironhide (orig.)
7 Jetstorm (BM)
7 Nightbeat (orig.)
7 Rampage (BW)
7 Scorponok (orig.)
7 Springer
8 Inferno (BW)
8 Prowl (orig.)
8 Rumble
8 Sunstreaker
8 Swoop
8 Wheeljack (orig.)
9 Optimus Primal
9 Ratchet (orig.)
9 Sideways (Armada)
9 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
10 Ravage
10 Sideswipe (orig.)
10 Tarantulas
10 Thrust (BM)
11 Skywarp (orig.)
13 Cyclonus (orig.)
14 Rhinox
14 Thundercracker (orig.)
15 Sky-Byte
15 Starscream (Armada)
18 Shockwave
19 Galvatron (orig.)
19 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
19 Megatron (orig.)
21 Rattrap
21 Waspinator
22 Megatron (BW/BM)
23 Jazz
26 Soundwave (orig.)
27 Dinobot
27 Grimlock (orig.)
32 Starscream (orig.)
33 Optimus Prime (orig.)
Blah blah blah big red trukk blah blah blah... Why do we even have
this one any more?
--Rick R. Mortis
The Destruction Mini-Con Team - as seen in the Armada comic! Ruthless,
amoral, and totally dedicated to what they thought was right. The
first step Furman took in the new direction for Armada.
--Rev. Pee Kitty
Tommy Kennedy, human. What an incredibly real looking child he was.
How they managed to do such an amazing job using stop motion animation
still baffles me to this day... I wonder why more people don't
mention how cool *he* was...
--Brian Kilby
Waspinator. Anybody who can recover from everything he went through
has to be strong. :)
--Tony Li, the Prime Saber
Cosmos. He never seems to get a vote. He's a chunky, helpful little
fellow. We should all try to be more like Cosmos. For example, I'm
kinda shaped like him.....
--Freds Workshop
It's not until you try to make a list like this that you really
realize the downside to Hasbro/Takara reusing names. You constantly
find yourself specifying which version you're voting for over another.
It boils down to you saying, "Well, I'm all about Skywarp. G1 Skywarp
that is. Not that icky Armada one. Oh and not the Machine Wars one
either." It makes what should be fun tedious and gets old real fast.
--Thundercracker1978
[Welcome to my world.]
What? You SAID to pick 26 of my favorites, right?...Right?!
--Srini Varanasi
SPARKPLUG: Okay, Dualor, you can't complain this time -- Optimus
won by only *one* vote!
DUALOR: That's true. If I had known it would be this close, I'd
have thrown a few more votes for Starscream into the
ballot box.
T-A.I.: What? You'd rig the Trannies?!
DUALOR: Hey, if it'd make things more interesting...
------------------------------
*** Favorite Autobot/Cybertron/Maximal
1 Apelinq
1 Backstreet
1 Big Daddy
1 Defcon/Devcon
1 Elita-One
1 Ginrai
1 Grapple
1 Heinrad (Beast Wars Neo)
1 Huffer
1 Mach Alert
1 Mach Kick (Beast Wars Neo)
1 Mirage GT
1 Optimus Prime (Armada)
1 Pipes
1 Prowl (RiD)
1 Quickstrike
1 Raiden
1 Rail Racer
1 Roadbuster
1 Scattershot
1 Scavenger (Armada)
1 Scuba (Beast Wars Neo)
1 Sideswipe (Armada)
1 Sideways
1 Slag
1 Spike Witwicky
1 Strong Arm
1 T-A.I.
1 Top Spin
1 Wheelie (orig.)
2 Alpha Trion
2 Blurr (orig.)
2 Brawn
2 Break
2 Cerebros
2 Chromedome
2 Dropshot
2 Fire Convoy
2 Hoist
2 Hot Shot (Armada)
2 Hubcap
2 Magna Jet Convoy
2 Minerva
2 Optimus Prime (RiD)/Ultra Magnus (RiD)/Omega Prime
2 Silverbolt (orig.)
2 Snarl (orig.)
2 Streetwise
2 Tailgate
2 Tasmania Kid (Beast Wars 2)
2 Tigerhawk
2 Warpath
3 Aerialbots
3 Beta (from "Forever is a Long Time Coming")
3 Blades
3 Cliffjumper
3 Convoy
3 Fireflight
3 Gears
3 God Fire Convoy
3 Ikard (Beast Wars Neo)
3 Inferno (orig.)
3 Metroplex
3 Optimus Prime (RiD)
3 Sentinel Prime
3 Smokescreen (Armada)
4 Airrazor
4 Blurr (Armada)
4 God Ginrai
4 Sandstorm
4 Sky Lynx
4 Star Saber/Victory Leo/Victory Saber
4 Starscream (Armada)
4 Victory Leo
5 Jetfire (Armada)
5 Kup
5 LioConvoy (Beast Wars Second)
5 Moonracer
5 Optimal Optimus
5 Punch/Counterpunch
5 Seaspray
5 Wreck-Gar
6 Beachcomber
6 Sludge
7 Blackarachnia
7 Claw Jaw
7 Cosmos
7 Fortress Maximus
7 Perceptor (orig.)
7 Sideburn (RiD)
7 Smokescreen (orig.)
7 Tracks
8 Cheetor
8 Depth Charge
9 Sunstreaker
9 Ultra Magnus (RiD)
10 Ironhide (orig.)
11 Blaster
11 Bluestreak
11 Hound
11 Star Saber (Victory)
11 Tigatron
12 Arcee (orig.)
12 Red Alert (orig.)
12 Skids
13 Big Convoy (Beast Wars Neo)
13 Jetfire/Skyfire (orig.)
13 Nightbeat (orig.)
15 Springer
18 Mirage (orig.)
21 Bumblebee
21 Omega Supreme
22 Ratchet (orig.)
22 Silverbolt (BW/BM)
23 Wheeljack (orig.)
24 Prowl (orig.)
27 Sideswipe (orig.)
35 Rhinox
35 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
38 Optimus Primal (BW/BM)
50 Rattrap
52 Jazz
62 Dinobot
65 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
92 Grimlock (orig.)
175 Optimus Prime (orig.)
Optimus Prime. Sorry, I know he's boring and noble and irritating but
he is an inspiration to us all. Those of us who aren't bastards, that
is.
--Bluestreak Paul
Yeah, that's right -- *G1* Silverbolt! Here's a guy that overcame a
severe psychological debilitation through sheer stick-to-itiveness,
spiting acrophobic children everywhere, only to have his
accomplishment dashed into obscurity by a Dudley Do-Right knock-off a
mere eleven years later. For shame... |-(
--Iacon
Wheeljack, Rhinox, Roadbuster. Hmm, I seem to prefer those
responsible for large explosions...
--Matrix Dragon
Mach Kick ...what? ^^
--HorseTechie
Ratchet never gets his dues. The guy defeated Megatron THREE TIMES!
--Lord Zarak
Mineruba. Whether you name her Minerva or Minelba or whatever, doesn't
change the fact that she is a cute blonde who wears no less than 4
different costumes throughout the series. Oh, and the mini-skirt
helps. :)
--Gekisou
SPARKPLUG: Is this the "Character you want to be lovers with"
question already?
DUALOR: No, the fanboys are just getting restless.
T-A.I.: Men!
------------------------------
*** Favorite Decepticon/Destron/Predacon
1 Abominus
1 Brawl
1 Flywheels
1 Galvatron (RiD)
1 Gelshark
1 Krok
1 Liokaiser (Victory)
1 Mega Zarak
1 Menasor
1 Nemesis Prime
1 Nightbird
1 Scylla (Beast Wars Second)
1 Sunstorm (g1)
2 Astrotrain
2 Bonecrusher (orig.)
2 Carnivac (UK)
2 Cyclonus (Armada)
2 Hellscream (Beast Wars Second)
2 Leozak (Victory)
2 Misfire
2 Obsidian
2 Runamuck
2 Sky Shadow
2 Skyquake
2 Spinister
2 Tentakill
2 Zarak
3 Jhiaxus
3 Mindwipe
3 Octopunch
3 Reflector
3 Scavenger (orig.)
3 Terrorsaur
3 Thrust (Armada)
3 Tidal Wave
3 Trypticon
3 Weirdwolf
4 Demolishor (Armada)
4 Dinobot 2 (BW)
4 Dirge
4 Megatron/Galvatron (Armada)
4 Octane
4 Overlord
4 Sideways (Armada)
4 Swindle (orig.)
5 Bruticus (orig.)
5 Jetstorm (BM)
5 Kickback
5 Motormaster
5 Onslaught
6 Blackarachnia
6 Deathsarus/Deszarus (Victory)
7 Dinobot
8 Sixshot
8 Thunderwing (orig.)
9 Thrust (BM)
10 Inferno (BW)
10 Predaking
11 Blitzwing
11 Devastator
12 Scourge (orig.)
14 Bludgeon
14 Rampage (bw)
16 Ravage
21 Tarantulas
23 Rumble
24 Scorponok (orig.)
24 Scourge (RiD)
25 Sky-Byte
33 Skywarp (orig.)
37 Thundercracker (orig.)
43 Cyclonus (orig.)
43 Starscream (Armada)
55 Shockwave
55 Waspinator
70 Galvatron (orig.)
94 Megatron (orig.)
99 Soundwave (orig.)
157 Starscream (orig.)
164 Megatron (BW/BM)
Megatron (BW/BM). Witty, a snappy dresser, always the life of the
party, and what's that certain je ne sais quoi so often missing in
Decepticon leaders? Oh yeah. Competence.
--Zodiac
I love Thunderwing cause he's such a cult favorite, and all the best
things in life are cult favorites.
--Shungokushatsu
Grimlock. Yes, Grimlock. He was a Decepticon dangit! Twice!!!!
--Razorpack
Starscream (G1), for his ambiguous sexuality
--Matt Super
Terrorsaur beats out G1 Starscream because he's pathetic and stupid.
--Strumfender009
T-A.I.: Oh, poor Starscream! That's another award he almost won!
DUALOR: Those Screamer fans need to get better organized.
SPARKPLUG: Do you get the feeling we've just seen the subject of
a new editorial in the next edition of Con-Quest?
DUALOR: Beast Wars Megatron beating Starscream, Soundwave, and
the original Megatron? Without a doubt.
------------------------------
*** Favorite Minicon/Neutral/Non-Allied Transformer
1 Air Defense Team/Energon Saber (Minicon)
1 Backtrack (Minicon)
1 Bilge (Minicon)
1 Buster Witwicky
1 Garbage scow (from "Five Faces of Darkness")
1 Judge Deliberata (from "Five Faces of Darkness")
1 Kremzeek! (from "Kremzeek!")
1 Moon (Beast Wars Second)
1 Nightbeat (Minicon)
1 Punch/Counterpunch
1 Quintesson scientist (from "The Killing Jar")
1 Raoul
1 Zap-Master (Minicon)
2 Alligator sharkticons
2 Buzzsaw (Minicon)
2 Diagnostic Drone
2 Gunbarrel (Minicon)
2 Land Military Team (Minicon)
2 Makeshift (Minicon)
2 Prowl (Minicon)
2 Rook (Minicon)
2 Scattor (Minicon)
2 Tornatron (from "Call of the Primitives")
2 X-Dimension Air Military Team (Minicon; Japanese repaint)
3 B.O.T.
3 Broadside (Minicon)
3 Firebot (Minicon)
3 Knockout (Minicon)
3 Nightscream (Minicon)
3 Sea Team (Minicon)
3 Sideburn (Minicon)
3 Spiral (Minicon)
3 Street Speed Team (Minicon)
3 Thunderclash (Minicon)
3 Thunderwing (Minicon)
3 Unka Spenka (from "Five Faces of Darkness")
4 Bonecrusher (Minicon)
4 Centurion (UK)
4 Comettor (Minicon)
4 Crumplezone (Minicon)
4 Dead-End (Minicon)
4 Liftor (Minicon)
4 Longarm (Minicon)
4 Skid-Z (Minicon)
4 Space Team/Requiem Blaster (Minicon)
4 Stormcloud (Minicon)
5 Air Assault Team/Dark Saber (Minicon)
5 Falcia (from "Linkage")
5 Nightbird (from "Enter the Nightbird")
5 Rollout (Minicon)
5 Savage/Noble
5 Sureshock (Minicon)
5 The Fallen (from Transformers: The War Within: Dark Ages)
5 Twirl (from "Linkage")
5 Wind Sheer (Minicon)
6 Alexis
6 Primus
6 Rollbar (Minicon)
7 Gnaw/Sharkticons
7 Incinerator (Minicon)
8 Emergency Team (Minicon)
8 Grindor (Minicon)
9 Doubledealer
9 Oval (Minicon)
9 Wreckage (Minicon)
10 Quintesons
11 Arblus
11 Highwire (Minicon)
11 Mirage(Minicon)
11 Perceptor (Minicon)
11 Sonar (Minicon)
11 Terradive (Minicon)
12 Sky Blast (Minicon)
14 Death's Head
15 Jetstorm (Minicon)
15 Kranix
16 Air Defense Team/Star Saber (Minicon)
16 Runway (Minicon)
18 Astroscope (Minicon)
18 Dualor (Minicon)
19 Defcon/Devcon (from "The Gambler")
20 Swindle (Minicon)
21 Over-Run (Minicon)
21 Spanner (from the comic book series)
21 Transmutate (from "Transmutate")
27 Jolt (Minicon)
37 Wreck-Gar
42 Sideways (Minicon)
46 Leader-1 (Minicon)
74 Sparkplug (Minicon)
160 Unicron
Come on! He's Unicron!
--G.B. Blackrock
Nightbird, that high kickin', gun pinchin' ninja girl. Though you
could argue that she was an actual Decepticon (see certain
fanfics! ;-)
--Charl
jAm CoPTor! (you'll have to have read that edit of the armada mini-
comic to get this)
--RandomFerret
Sideways. By far the most devious, manipulative, unpredictable, and
multi-layered adversary the Transformers have ever faced. Compared
to him, G1 Starscream is a nearsighted kid wearing a "KICK ME" sign.
--Thylacine 2000
Armada Skyblast. I knew I liked him from the moment he opened fire on
the kids and their annoying Mini-Cons!
--Speedbreaker
If anyone else votes for Spanner (or hell, even knows who Spanner is)
they get a cookie
--Noah "Defunct" Carroll
Wait, those little things have names?!
--Divefire
DUALOR: So, Sparkplug, is it a good thing or a bad thing when you
finish second to a planet-eating Chaos God?
SPARKPLUG: It's an honor just to be nominated.
DUALOR: Yeah, right.
T-A.I.: You're just jealous because you lost to Leader-1.
------------------------------
*** Favorite Gestalt/Combiner Team
1 Build Team/Landfill (RiD; yellow Wal-Mart variant)
1 Hardhead/Duros
1 Magmatron
1 Optimus Prime (Energon)
1 Sixliner
1 Squawkbox
2 Metroplex
2 Mindwipe/Vorath
2 Sixbuilder
2 Sixtrain
2 Starscream/B.B. (Beast Wars Second)
3 Commandos/Ruination (RiD; Arctic cammo variation)
3 Commandos/Ruination (RiD; Desert cammo variation)
3 Fortress Maximus (orig.)
3 Highbrow/Gort
3 Jointron Bros. (Tripredacus)
3 Powerlinx Rodimus/Inferno (Energon; Rodimus + Inferno)
4 Dinoforce/Dinoking (Victory)
5 Jet Prime/Jet Convoy (Armada; Optimus Prime + Jetfire)
5 Powermaster Optimus Prime with Apex Armor/Super God Ginrai
(Masterforce; Ginrai + Godbomber)
6 Star Saber/Victory Leo/Victory Saber (Victory)
7 Magna Jet Prime/Magna Jet Convoy (Armada; Optimus Prime +
Jetfire + Overload)
7 Magnaboss
7 Reflector
8 Street Action Team/Perceptor (Minicon)
9 Brainmasters/Road Ceasar (Victory)
10 Air Defense Team/Star Saber (Minicon)
11 Street Action Team/Perceptor (Armada)
11 Trainbots/Raiden
11 Tripredacus
13 Build Team/Landfill (Build King)
13 Omega Prime/God Fire Convoy (RiD; Optimus Prime + Ultra Magnus)
17 Commandos/Ruination (RiD)
17 Pretender Monsters/Monstructor
22 Breastforce/Liokaiser (Victory)
34 Terrorcons/Abominus
38 Seacons/Piranacon (aka God Neptune)
55 Technobots/Computron
57 Team Bullet Train/Rail Racer (JRX)
74 Protectobots/Defensor
82 Aerialbots/Superion
83 Stunticons/Menasor
135 Combaticons/Bruticus
168 Predacons/Predaking
298 Constructicons/Devastator
Devastator wins for being the first. Every team that came after him
was simply imitation. Predaking is an excellent runner-up badass.
--PlutoniumBoss/"Myles" Carlton Garlick
I know, Devastator or Predaking will probably win again, but I've
never been that impressed by size. Complexity and intelligence have
always doe it for me, and I can't think of anyone more intelligent
than Computron.
--FlameStrike
Omega Prime -- Hey Devastator, Menasor and Predaking, Omega Prime
laughs at you since he can bend his knees.
--Matt Super
...the Build Team mostly because they are the Village People in Robot
Form. Not that there is anything WRONG with that of course! :)
--Bloodcat
Oh, this is easy, Liokaiser. I know Devastator will win but come on,
give this bot credit where credit is due. Multi-coloured, spear
wielding robot made up of a team known collectively as 'Breast-
force', that's some steel-ball bearing backing this bot up.
--Gekisou
Pretender Monsters as written up in Dreamwave's MTMTE book. Birdbrain
and Bristleback have pathetic handicaps, Icepick and Slog don't
believe in killing innocents, and Scowl wears the ugliest shell
because he's humiliated by how cute his actual robot form is. That's
what the book says--it's canon, now! And then they merge into
Cthulhu.
--Thylacine 2000
DUALOR: "Ph'nglui mglw'nath Monstructor R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"
SPARKPLUG: What was THAT?
T-A.I.: "In his house at R'lyeh dead Monstructor waits dreaming."
SPARKPLUG: ...We've had good jokes, and we've had bad jokes, but
this is the first time we've had a WEIRD joke.
T-A.I.: I wouldn't call that a joke.
------------------------------
*** Favorite Non-Toy Character
1 Ariel (from "War Dawn")
1 Dion (from "War Dawn")
1 Jan (Victory)
1 Joey Slick (from Transformers #13)
1 Majin Zarak
1 Megatron (War Within design)
1 Megatron/Ratchet fusion
1 Neo-Quintesson (from "Forever is a Long Time Coming")
1 "O" (friend of Buster Witwicky)
1 Raoul
1 Ratbat (War Within design)
1 Small Nucleon guardian (from Transformers #70)
1 Spanner (from Transformers #18)
1 Tornatron (from "Call of the Primitives")
2 Artemis (Beast Wars Second)
2 Bomber Bill (from Transformers #10)
2 Daniel Witwicky
2 Fred (Armada)
2 Holographic giant Autobot (from "Heavy Metal War")
2 Jetfire (War Within design)
2 Leige Maximo (from Transformers: Generation 2 #12)
2 Nautilus (from Transformers UK #114)
2 Quintesson Scientist (from "The Killing Jar")
2 Quintesson guard
2 Super Megatron (Return of Convoy/Battlestars)
2 The Vok
2 Wheezel (from Transformers #17)
3 Alligator Optimus Prime (from "City of Steel")
3 Autobot X (from "Autobot Spike")
3 Billy (Armada)
3 Bumblebee (WWII design, from Transformers vs. G.I. Joe)
3 Cobra Commander/Snake (from "Only Human")
3 Donny Finkleberg/Robot Master
3 Dropshot (from Transformers: Armada #16)
3 Emusa/Zone Bunny (Zone)
3 G. B. Blackrock
3 Generic Seekers
3 Judge Deliberata (from "Five Faces of Darkness")
3 Lord Chumley (from "Prime Target")
3 Macabre (from Transformers UK #88)
3 Megatron Head Fortress (BM)
3 Octus (from Transformers UK #213-#214)
3 Optimus Prime (War Within design)
3 Orion Pax (from "War Dawn")
3 Rack 'n Ruin (UK)
3 Rad
3 Rook (Transformers: Generation 2)
3 Unka Spenka (from "Five Faces of Darkness")
4 Dr. Arkeville
4 Koji Onishi/Yuuki Akashi (RiD)
4 Raul
5 B.O.T. (from "B.O.T.")
5 Carlos
5 Centurion (from Transformers UK #78)
5 Chip Chase
5 Chromia (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
5 Grimlock (War Within design)
5 Kelly/Junko (RiD)
5 Marissa Fairbourne
5 Primacron (from "Call of the Primitives")
5 Stella Holly (from "Linkage")
5 Vector Sigma
6 Buster Witwicky
6 Firestar (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
6 Flame (from Transformers UK #168)
6 Last Autobot (from Transformers #80)
6 The Fallen (from Transformers: War Within: The Dark Ages)
7 Alligator sharkticons
7 Beta (from "Forever is a Long Time Coming")
7 Teletran-1
8 Alexis
8 Sparkplug Witwicky
9 Kranix
9 Kremzeek! (from "Kremzeek!")
11 Jetfire/Skyfire (cartoon design)
13 Carly Witwicky
14 Moonracer (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
15 Primus
18 Scrounge (from Transformers #17)
18 T-A.I.
20 Botanica
20 Impactor (UK)
20 Straxus
21 Circuit Breaker
21 Spike Witwicky
23 Diagnostic Drone
23 Nightbird (from "Enter The Nightbird")
30 Transmutate
31 Death's Head
33 Jhiaxus
45 Quintessons
47 Defcon/Devcon (from "The Gambler")
50 Emirate Xaaron
53 Elita-1 (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
77 Arcee
106 Alpha Trion
Alpha Trion. He's like your grandfather, only cool.
--NightViper
Elita-One. While Optimus took a nap, she fought the Decepticons for 6
million years, kept her gals alive - what's not to like?
--Doug Anderson
A Lord Chumley toy would have been cool. He would have been all like
"tally-ho, what what" and all of my other toys would have fallen in
his dastardly traps, and I could have chortled and made snarky
comments about how this reminded me of the Crimea. My childhood
suffered for lack of Chumley.
--Zodiac
Nightbird, wielder of countless weapons, engenderer of even more
controversy.
--Quallevra
Autobot Spike. Wonder what he'd transform into....
--Bandit
Alexis is easily identifiable with, since like her, I am extremely
annoyed at the group of morons and idiots I seem stuck around to try
to keep them from doing things dumber than they already do.
--Bloodcat
Wouldn't it be awesome to have a giant transforming Primus to battle
Unicron?
--Alloran
I'll just say I'm really happy HasTak are making our choices for this
category more and more limited. :D
--lastmaximal
T-A.I.: Hey, Arcee already has a toy!
SPARKPLUG: I don't think the BotCon exclusive counts; not everyone
knows it exists.
T-A.I.: No, not that! I mean the Japanese version of Sureshock,
that was also called "Arcee"!
SPARKPLUG: I don't think that counts, either.
T-A.I.: And why not?
DUALOR: When the fanboys hear the name "Arcee," the LAST thing
they're thinking of is an orange scooter...
------------------------------
*** Worst Character Name
1 Alan
1 Alexis
1 Alpha Q
1 Ape-Face
1 Big Shot
1 Birdbrain
1 Blast-Off
1 Blot
1 Blowpipe
1 Brave Maximus
1 Bugly
1 Bumblebee
1 Bumblejumper
1 Butt (Japanese version of Blot)
1 Camshaft
1 Cement Head
1 Clawjaw
1 Deceptitran
1 Deluge
1 Demolishor
1 Dinobot
1 Eagle Killer
1 Fangry
1 Fetch
1 Go-Bots
1 Goldbug
1 Grindor
1 Gusher
1 Hardhead
1 Heavy Load
1 Hoist
1 Hot Rod
1 Hot Shot
1 Huffer
1 Hun-Grrr
1 Inferno
1 Kicker (from "Transformers: Energon")
1 Lazarus
1 Mega-Octane
1 Megatron
1 Midnight Express
1 Needlenose
1 "O" (friend of Buster Witwicky)
1 Omega Spreem
1 Optimus Minor
1 Optimus Primal
1 Oval
1 Perceptor
1 Pipes
1 Policeman Pete
1 Primacron
1 Prowl 2
1 Randy
1 Raul
1 Refute
1 Repugnus
1 Rewind
1 Road Pig
1 Rodimus Convoy
1 Rodimus Major
1 Rodimus Prime
1 Ro-Tor
1 Side Swipe
1 Sixknight
1 Sixshot
1 Sky-Byte
1 Stampy
1 Stinkbomb
1 Sureshock
1 Tacklewaver
1 The Fallen
1 Tigatron
1 Tripredacus Agent
1 T-Wrecks
1 Ultra Magnus
1 Vroom
1 Warpath
1 WARS
1 Wreck-Gar
1 X-Brawn
1 Zapmaster
2 Banzai-Tron
2 Greasepit
2 Injector
2 Joe
2 Kup
2 Landfill
2 Leader-1
2 Movor
2 Nightbeat
2 Scattor
2 Shokaract
2 Sky Garry
2 Smokescreen
2 Sparkle (Spike Witwicky, Singapore dub)
2 Spike Witwicky
2 Tankor
2 Waspinator
3 Discharge
3 Drill Nuts
3 Erector
4 Rad
4 Sideburn
4 Slapper
4 Thrust
5 Big Daddy
6 Battle Unicorn
6 Cheetor
8 Wheelie
10 Firebot
25 Windbreaker
Windbreaker!!! Activate gasbag!
--Kevin H
I bet Windbreaker is going to win this, although I've never understood
why english-speaking individuals find that name so amusing.
--Airfox
[Kevin can explain it to you]
"Heavy Load". Need I say more?
--Mako Crab
This should be a whole SECTION, because the possibilities are endless.
The Japanese Micromastes alone are worth a small book: Joe. Leaf.
Raise. Desire. Discharge. San Diego. ALAN. Sheesh. ("Sheesh" is
not a name.)
--Robert Powers
Zapmaster. So Drillnutts and Randy were pretty dumb, but you could
chalk it up to being a different culture the characters were named
for. But Zapmaster? It sounds like a cross between a horrible 1988 era
Nintendo character in a porn movie.
--robo_rob
Rodimus Convoy. I mean, holy crap. Take the lameness of "Convoy" as a
leader-name with the idiot faux-Latin of "Rodimus" (which gave rise to
the whole damn "-imus" fan-name thing), and boom.
--M Sipher
Sky Garry - and his decepticon counterpart, SPACE GEORGE!
--Aernaroth
Blast-Off. A space shuttle. Named Blast-Off. Right. Good one.
--Michael "Kil" McCarthy
Movor, no matter what colour you paint him, he still gets an awful
name. I didn't think it was possible to get worse than 'Blast Off',
but I was wrong!
--Implode
Discharge. Come on, didn't ANYONE at Takara think for a second that
this was just a little bit suggestive for a female character?
--Daniel "Suspsy" Suh
SPARKPLUG: What's wrong with having a female named "Discharge"?
DUALOR: Beats me -- maybe T-A.I. knows?
T-A.I.: Er... uhm... it's kinda... urrr... EEK!
[T-A.I. blinks out of view]
SPARKPLUG: Oops.
DUALOR: And here I thought she wouldn't get embarassed until we
got to the "Character you'd want to be lovers with"
question.
------------------------------
*** Character You Want To Be Friends With
1 Bludgeon
1 Blurr (Armada)
1 Bonecrusher (orig.)
1 Brawn
1 Crosscut
1 D.J. (Beast Wars Second)
1 Demolisher
1 Dinobot 2
1 Dinobot
1 Dreadwind
1 Fireflight
1 Fred (Armada)
1 G. B. Blackrock
1 Getsuei (Trainbot)
1 High Wire (Minicon)
1 Jesse (from Transformers #20)
1 Long Haul
1 Megastorm (Beast Wars Second)
1 Megatron's evil brain impulses (from "Microbots")
1 "O" (friend of Buster Witwicky)
1 Octane
1 Omega Supreme
1 Overload (Armada)
1 Perceptor (Armada)
1 Predaking
1 Punch/Counterpunch
1 Quintesson
1 Rad
1 Ramjet (orig.)
1 Raul
1 Red Alert (Armada)
1 Rumble
1 Scavenger (orig.)
1 Seaspray
1 Sideways (Armada)
1 Sixshot
1 Sky Lynx
1 Sky-Byte
1 Slapdash
1 Smokescreen (orig.)
1 Sparkplug (Armada)
1 Springer
1 Starscream (Armada)
1 Sunstreaker
1 Swerve
1 Swoop
1 Tidal Wave
1 Tigatron
1 Tracks
1 Ultra Magnus (RiD)
1 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
1 Wheelie
1 Wildrider
2 Arcee
2 Bluestreak
2 Carlos
2 Cheetor
2 Cosmos
2 Galvatron (orig.)
2 Ironhide (orig.)
2 Jetfire (Armada)
2 Megatron (BW/BM)
2 Megatron (orig.)
2 Metroplex
2 Prowl (orig.)
2 Ratchet (orig.)
2 Sideswipe (orig.)
2 Silverbolt (BW/BM)
2 Star Saber (Victory)
2 Starscream (orig.)
2 Waspinator
3 Beachcomber
3 Jetfire/Skyfire (orig.)
3 Skids
3 Thundercracker (orig.)
3 Trypticon
4 Optimus Prime (orig.)
4 Rhinox
4 Soundwave (orig.)
4 Wheeljack (orig.)
5 Fortress Maximus
7 Unicron
8 Bumblebee
9 Grimlock (orig.)
10 Rattrap
15 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
20 Jazz
Jazz... he has the cool tunes, cool ride, and doesn't mind cruising.
--Richard Mistron
Megatron, old school style, because he's an anti matter cannon that
fits neatly into the palm of your hand I'll be having some regime
changes with that I think!
--Divefire
Wildrider. I want to make friends with Wildrider, then go down to the
municipal offices and "discuss" my parking ticket.
--Stormrave
Metroplex. It's great having a big, dumb, powerful friend to back you
up.
--Maximus Buchanan
Rad. Mostly because it seems everyone who associates with him gets to
hang out with the Autobots, and I want me some of that action.
--Chris "Commander Crayfish" Funaro
Hot Rod. He's cool and you get also to hang with Kup. It's 2 for the
price of one.
--Airfox
DUALOR: Of course, the downside is that you also get to hang
with Kup.
[T-A.I. blinks back into view]
SPARKPLUG: Welcome back.
T-A.I.: Sorry about that... that last question was just T.M.I.!
SPARKPLUG: T.M.I. for T-A.I.?
DUALOR: Stop that before I hurt you.
------------------------------
DUALOR: You're not going to run out on us again, are you?
T-A.I.: No. I've prepared myself to deal with THIS question...
*** Character You Most Want to Be Lovers(!) With
1 Blitzwing
1 Bonecrusher (orig.)
1 Carrie Fishhook (from "Hoist Goes Hollywood")
1 Charlene (from Transformers #20)
1 Chip Chase
1 Chromia
1 Cloudburst
1 Combusta (from "Linkage")
1 Ethel Stankiewicz
1 Falcia (from "Linkage")
1 Galvatron (Beast Wars Second)
1 Grimlock (orig.)
1 Isolde Holden (from "Hardwired" novel)
1 Jazz
1 Jessie (Buster Witwicky's girlfriend)
1 Kicker
1 Kup
1 Llyra (from the Headmasters limited series)
1 Megatron (BW/BM)
1 Motormaster
1 Nightracer
1 Optimus Prime (orig.)
1 Optimus Prime (RiD)
1 Paradron Medic
1 Prowl (orig.)
1 Ratbat
1 Raul
1 Road Rage (E-Hobby recolored version of Tracks)
1 Skywarp (orig.)
1 Soundwave
1 Terrorsaur
1 The Baroness
1 Trypticon
1 Vector Sigma
1 Victory Leo
1 Wheelie
1 Wildrider
2 Airrazor
2 Astoria Carlton-Ritz
2 Dr. Biggles-Jones
2 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
2 T-A.I.
2 Thundercracker
2 Unicron
3 Circuit Breaker
3 Marissa Fairbourne
4 Moonracer (from "The Search for Alpha Trion")
4 Starscream (orig.)
4 Stella Holly (from "Linkage")
5 Elita-One
5 Junko/Kelly (RiD)
5 Minerva
10 Alexis
13 Arcee
16 Carly Witwicky
20 Blackarachnia
Gross. That is so wrong. You should be so ashamed. Blackaracknia.
Nope - not even for Blackarachnia.
I'm still not interested in answering this category, thanks. Though
Carly is a hottie, with *brains*... Oh, I just answered that, didn't
I? Drat...
Yeah, right.
Alexis. Say, what's the legal age of consent on Cybertron anyway?
Ew!
Minerva. A caring, sensitive mademoiselle. Looks cool and hot in a
French schoolgirl outfit, kimono, swimsuit, and anything else.
Disgusting. Equally disgusting is the amount of fanboys who're going
to say Alexis or Minerva. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
I think I'll stick with Airazor, the moaning machine.
I'll keep all my relationships with giant robots strictly platonic,
thanks anyway.
Motormaster! My love affair with Motormaster has its very own
soundtrack of bad country songs. We've got "I Love a Man with 18
Wheels," followed by "White Line Casanova (Love Bandit of the Road)",
and the ultimate love theme "Wear and Tear on my Heart" by George Fox.
In fact, that last song is a requirement for anyone writing TF smut,
at least for those with automobile/truck alt modes.
Nobody. I wish Tracks would stop nuzzling his fender against my butt,
though.
Wildrider. With a name like that...
Ouch! No thanks
Well, she wears pink, has Princess Leia-style hair buns, and hangs out
with a Han Solo wannabe. What? No, not Arcee, you sickos! Carrie
Fishhook, the Carrie Fisher-lookalike in "Hoist Goes Hollywood"!
That's disgusting
Falcia. Hurt me, you wild Italian bitch.
Once again, I find this question disgusting. Nope. I'm not even going
to think about humans and Transformers. Now if you excuse me, I'm of
to worship Emma Frost some more.
Wheelie, cus hes so young and innocent
excuse me while I puke.
Because I know you only want one answer for this, I'll say Prowl.
Truth of the matter is though, both Prowl and Jazz. Preferably at the
same time. Many times. Forever. My bed's big enough for the three
of us to romp in. Besides, I just know that somewhere deep inside
Prowl, there's an erotic animal just waiting to be released. I'm sure
that between Jazz and I we can bring that out nicely. Close the door
and turn the sound dampener on, please, we'd like some privacy.
The sadly ironic thing about this question is that, as I happen to be
female, there are *loads* of candidates for me to choose from. And
yet, alas, this question continues to CREEP ME OUT.
OK. This question is sooo wrong. That said, Elita's never gotten any
attention from Optimus and deserves better
..............and moving on to the next question.
Although I still strongly feel that this wouldn't work, I'll say Kup
on the grounds that he's got experience with everything else....
NO ONE. Gar, giant alien robots aren't my idea of attractive, dangit.
January 2003 on Decepticon Dominion MUSH, Burt Ward joked that one of
these years he wanted to vote for Nightracer as a change. I want to
donate my vote to his choice even though it wouldn't be my personal
choice.
[And from the now-infamous "Naked lust" pile:]
Dr Biggles-Jones. This is a pointless question. All this does is to
serve as an insparation to lame fanfic authours and their lame Mary
Sue avarats who are the One True Love (TM) of some chracter who it
doesn't even make sense that they're the One True Love (TM) of... This
leads to such uckky issues as TF's having sex (eww) and so on... It's
really sad and pointless. And... mmm... tight rubber suit... ring pull
zip... labcoat... drool...
--Rick R. Mortis
JAZZ. I say it every year, and every year it's true. Prowl is a mere
rank amateur compared to the Jazzbot, says I. The voice, the shades
(or are those his eyes?), the face...talk about a fangirl magnet. :)
--Themis56
Anonymity be damned! Feel free to put my name to this, along with my
apologies to society in general: The lovely EDC Captain Marissa
Fairbourne...
"Oh yeah, that's right, who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?"
*click*
"I am."
"Ahh.. umm, G-Gen.. General Flint, sir.. How... how long have you
been... st-standing there?"
"Long enough, son. Now kindly step away from my daughter. And put
some damn pants on before I put a bullet in your hairy behind."
--Michael "Kil" McCarthy
DUALOR: Yes, nothing says "romance" like having your girlfriend's
father walk in during your make-out session and take aim
at your bare bumper.
T-A.I.: I wouldn't know.
SPARKPLUG: I don't WANT to know.
------------------------------
*** The Bionic Badass Award, for the most intimidating Transformers
character
1 Abominous
1 Alexis
1 Apeface
1 Black Zarak
1 Blackarachnia
1 Blurr (Armada)
1 Bruticus (RiD)
1 Cyclonus (orig.)
1 Deathsarus/Deszaras (Transformers: Victory)
1 Defcon/Devcon
1 Donny Finkelberg/Robot Master
1 Downshift (Energon)
1 Emusa/Zone Bunny
1 Jhiaxus
1 Landfill
1 Leige Maximo (from Transformers: Generation 2 #12)
1 LioConvoy (Beast Wars Second)
1 Megabolt Megatron
1 Monstructor
1 Obsidian
1 Optimal Optimus
1 Perceptor (orig.)
1 Ratchet (orig.)
1 Raul
1 Razorclaw (orig.)
1 Rumble
1 Scavenger (Armada)
1 Side Burn
1 Starscream (orig.)
1 Tankorr
1 Thrust (BM)
1 Torkulon (planet from "Webworld")
1 Trypticon
1 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
1 Ultra Magnus (RiD)
1 Victory Leo
1 Victory Saber (orig.)
1 Wheelie
2 Brawn
2 Bruticus (orig.)
2 Depth Charge
2 Fortress Maximus (orig.)
2 Fortress Maximus (RiD)
2 Rhinox
2 Shokaract
2 Sixshot
3 Death's Head
3 Devastator
4 Metroplex
4 Omega Supreme
4 Scorponok (orig.)
4 Soundwave
4 Tarantulas
4 Tidal Wave
5 Megatron (orig.)
5 Predaking
7 Dinobot
7 Megatron (BW/BM)
8 Scourge (RiD)
13 Rampage (BW)
21 Galvatron (orig.)
25 Grimlock (orig.)
28 Unicron
Unicron. If you're not intimidated by a planet sized robot that
munches on entire galaxies, you need help badly.
--"The Mad Bomber" Bombshell
Shokaract, easily. Megatrons come and go, Galvatrons come, go mad,
then go. But Shokaract not only commanded armies, not only carved out
an empire that would put any othe Leading Transformer Conqueror to
shame, but he had the Fires of a Undead Dark God (tm) helping him kick
ass personally. He *made Unicron his bitch*. Need more be said?
--Ryan Hawe/Darwinian Road Kill
Energon Downshift, because anyone that's THAT HUGE of a fanwank scares
the hell out of me.
--HOOPER_X
Bruticus. c'mon, you gonna piss off a guy with a CANNON for a kneecap?
--Omega
Landfill. He's the combined might of four warriors with the brain of
a stupid young twerp. Sure, Devastator's probably stronger and
dumber, but Landfill has just enough brains and the right fill of
emotional adolescent turmoil to be possibly the most dangerous
Transformer alive. Ask Ruination.
--David "Walky" Willis
Perceptor, just to skew the results (and because I can't think of
anyone)
--dirge
Fortress Maximus (RiD/Car Robots version) is without question the
single scariest badass ever. G1 Fort Max was a peacekeeping device.
RiD Fort Max was an unstoppable force of nature. It's like having the
raging power of The Hulk in charge of the massive body, binary bonded
to a voice of reason that just barely keeps it in check.
--PlutoniumBoss/"Myles" Carlton Garlick
Donny Finkelberg. Because anyone with the sheer guts to wear the
Robot-Master costume in public scares the holy living bejeezus out
of me.
--Dave "Zobovor" Edwards
SPARKPLUG: I'm surprised Grimlock finished that close to Unicron.
DUALOR: If anyone makes a "Me Grimlock, badass" joke, I'm
leaving.
T-A.I.: This from the Minicon chanting Cthulu...
------------------------------
*** The "I was framed!" Award, for the character who gets an
UNDESERVED bad reputation
1 Blaster
1 Blot
1 Botanica
1 Brawn
1 Carlos
1 Cerebros
1 Cheetor
1 Demolishor
1 Dinobot
1 Dinoking (Transformers: Victory)
1 Gears
1 Hound
1 Hubcap
1 Marissa Fairebourne
1 Megatron (RiD)
1 Octopunch
1 Optimus Prime (Armada)
1 Perceptor (Minicon)
1 Perceptor (orig.)
1 Prowl (orig.)
1 Quintessons
1 Rad (Armada)
1 Ratchet (orig.)
1 Raul
1 Sandstorm (orig.)
1 Scavenger (Armada)
1 Scavenger (orig.)
1 Sharkicon
1 Shockwave
1 Skywarp (orig.)
1 Speedbreaker
1 Spike Witwicky
1 Sunstreaker
1 Terrorsaur
1 Tigerhawk
1 Wheeljack (orig.)
2 Alexis
2 Arcee
2 Armada kids (Rad/Alexis/Carlos)
2 Donny Finkleberg/Robot Master
2 Octane
2 Optimus Prime (Energon)
2 Rattrap
2 Red Alert (Armada)
2 Sideswipe (Armada)
2 Sky-Bite (RiD)
2 Slag
2 Soundwave
2 Swindle (orig.)
2 Topspin/Twin Twist
2 Unicron
2 Waspinator
3 Blurr (orig.)
3 Bumblebee
3 Daniel Witwicky
3 Grimlock (orig.)
3 Hot Shot (Armada)
3 Mirage (orig.)
3 Thundercracker (orig.)
4 Megatron (BW/BM)
4 Tracks
5 Megatron (orig.)
6 Optimus Prime (orig.)
6 Starscream (Armada)
7 Starscream (orig.)
8 Galvatron (orig.)
18 Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime
23 Wheelie (orig.)
25 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
Ultra Magnus (Movie) - He can't deal with that now because he's trying
to deal with the homocidal nutcase trying to blow *you* up, Springer!
--Ian "Cradok" Tait-Doak
Terrorsaur. Yeesh, if his voice wasn't screechy, *no one* would
compare him to Starscream. If you *have* to compare him to a G1
character, try Thrust. Better yet, stop comparing him to other
people.
--Wayward
Daniel -- I mean, the kid had a screwed up childhood! We should pity
the poor kid!
--ShadowWing
Rodimus Prime, who had a total of three angsty moments in thirty
episodes, yet is perpetually known as 'the whiner'. Pardon me whilst I
quirk my brow.
--Sir Raptor of Nonsense
Hubcap. Actually, I think Hubcap would have been lucky to achieve
*any* reputation.
--Stuart Denyer
Megatron (BM). He only was trying to stop Primal from destroying
Cybertron and turning it into some freakish organic mess. In
retrospect I find Megatron to be in the right, not the wrong.
--Ryno
The Armada kids, the show would've sucked without them.
--Amelie
T-A.I.: Hey! I LIKE the kids from "Armada"!
SPARKPLUG: I'm surprised Wheelie didn't win this one, to be honest.
DUALOR: Actually, since Optimus Prime got fewer votes than
Wheelie did, does that mean his bad reputation is
DESERVED?
T-A.I.: You leave Optimus alone!
DUALOR: Sure, spoil my fun.
[Cut to commercials.]
======================================================================
PART II: TRANSFORMERS TOYS AND MERCHANDISE
*** Best Toy of the Year
1 Battle Ravage
1 Side Swipe (Alternator)/Lambor (Binaltech)
1 Dirge (Heroes of Cybertron PVC)
1 Emergency Micron X-Dimension team (Micron Legend)
1 Hoist (Armada)
1 Hot Shot Powerlinx (Armada)
1 Hot Shot (Armada)
1 Lambor (World's Smallest Transformers)
1 Megatron (original reissue)
1 Optimus Prime (Armada)
1 Powermaster Optimus Prime with Apex armor/Super God Ginrai
(reissue)
1 Rampage (Micron Legend)
1 Ratchet (Universe)
1 Red Alert (Armada)
1 Scorponok (Energon)
1 Sea Team (Minicon)
1 Shockwave (Micron Legend)
1 Skywarp (Armada)
1 Soundwave (Q-Robo PVC)
1 Starscream (Armada)
1 Sunstorm (Botcon 2003 exclusive)
2 Air Military Team (Minicon)
2 Blurr (Armada)
2 Optimus Prime (Armada Supercon)
2 Optimus Prime (Energon)
2 Overload
3 Jazz (original reissue)
3 Wheeljack (Armada)
4 Starscream (Energon)
4 Tidal Wave
34 Smokescreen (Alternator/Binaltech)
43 Masterpiece Convoy/20th Anniversary Optimus Prime
76 Unicron (Armada)
"And the answer is...Unicron."
--Ryan Hawe/Darwinian Road Kill
Tidal Wave. Yeah, you can have your Unicrons, but Tidal wave is just
huge stompy love.
--M Sipher
Energon Starscream... Armada Unicron... I really want to give the vote
to Energon Starscream, but if I did that, Armada Unicron might eat
him.
--Suzanne M. Ferree
Masterpiece Optimus Prime. Anyone who says otherwise DOESN'T OWN
ONE!!!
--Maximus Buchanan
Armada Wheeljack. After years of "Robo-Smasher" stupidity and
Decepticons who saw the light, it's high time we had an Autobot do the
same and join the winning side!
--Stormrave
Q-Robo Soundwave, the full-color version. Sure, it's a little silly,
but I can't help loving it....
--Raksha
I know this one -- any toy that wasn't Hot Shot (Armada). Ha, count
this Rob!
--Gekisou
This was actually a really awesome toy year, wasn't it? Alternator
Smokescreen was helluva nice, and we FINALLY got Unicron, which is
just mindblowing in and of itself, but all things considered the BEST
THING WE GOT ALL YEAR was Universe Ratchet. LOOK OUT! EMERGENCY SUV
WITH PAINTED ON LADDER RACK! so awesome.
--HOOPER_X
T-A.I.: I sense much sarcasm here.
DUALOR: You'd have to be blind, deaf, dumb, and dead to MISS the
sarcasm there.
------------------------------
*** Best Toy Ever
1 Apelinq
1 Big Convoy (Beast Wars Neo; black variant)
1 Blitzwing
1 Breakdown
1 Bumblebee (orig.)
1 Cyclonus (Botcon exclusive)
1 Deathsaurus/Deszarus (Victory)
1 Demolishor
1 Depth Charge (BW)
1 Dinobot
1 Dreadwing (G2)
1 Galvatron/Devil Gigatron (RiD)
1 Goldbug
1 Grimlock (Action Master)
1 Hauler-Bot
1 Heinrad (Beast Wars Neo)
1 Inferno (orig.)
1 Jetstorm (BM Ultra)
1 Liokaiser
1 Megabolt Megatron
1 Megaplex (E-Hobby exclusive)
1 Megatron (G2)
1 Perceptor (orig.)
1 Pirahnacon/God Neptune
1 Razorclaw (Universe)
1 Rhinox (TM)
1 Rodimus (Choro-Q)
1 Scourge (RiD Spychanger)
1 Sideways
1 Slugslinger
1 Superion (orig.)
1 Terrorsaur (orig.)
1 Unicron (Energon)
2 Ace Evader (G2)
2 Anime Starscream (Takara #9 reissue)
2 B'Boom
2 Blackarachnia (BM)
2 Cheetor (Transmetal)
2 Cyclonus (orig.)
2 Cyrotek
2 Galvatron (Beast Wars Second)
2 Highbrow (orig.)
2 Hoist (Armada)
2 Hooligan
2 Jetfire (Armada)
2 Jetstorm (BW)
2 Kickback
2 Kup (orig.)
2 Landcross (Victory)
2 Lioconvoy (Beast Wars Second; Galvatron-colored variant)
2 Megatron (Choro-Q)
2 Mirage (Energon)
2 Optimus Primal (Transmetal)
2 Optimus Prime (Energon)
2 Overload
2 Primal Prime
2 Rail Racer/JRX (RiD)
2 Roulette (OTFCC exclusive)
2 Scorponok (Energon)
2 Starscream (Armada)
2 Starscream (Heroes of Cybertron PVC)
2 Starscream/B.B. (Beast Wars Second)
2 Strongarm
2 Takotank (Beast Wars Second)
2 Tankorr
2 Tigerhawk
2 Waspinator (Transmetal)
2 X-Brawn
3 Astrotrain
3 Bumblebee (Pretender)
3 Dead End (Minicon)
3 Fortress Maximus (orig. Japanese)
3 Galvatron (Armada)
3 Grand Maximus
3 Jaguar (Japanese BW Metals)
3 Jhiaxus (RiD)
3 Megatron (BW Ultra)
3 Megatron (MW)
3 Optimus Minor
3 Optimus Prime (Choro-Q)
3 Prowl (RiD)
3 Prowl (orig.)
3 Raiden
3 Rotorstorm
3 Scavenger (BM)
3 Sideswipe (orig.)
3 Silverbolt (BW Fuzor)
3 Skids (orig.)
3 Swindle (orig.)
3 Tailgate
3 Thundercracker (orig.)
3 Tidal Wave (Armada)
3 Tracks
3 Victory Leo (Victory)
4 Big Convoy (Beast Wars Neo)
4 Bluestreak (orig.)
4 Brave Maximus (Car Robots)
4 Inferno (BW)
4 Overlord
4 Super God Ginrai (Masterforce)
4 Retrax/Powerhug
4 Shockwave (orig.)
4 Sky Lynx
4 Starscream (Armada; white Takara variant)
4 Trypticon
4 Wheeljack (orig.)
5 Devastator
5 Hot Rod (orig.)
5 Jetstorm (BM Deluxe)
5 Side Swipe (Alternator)/Lambor (Binaltech)
5 Sixshot (orig.)
5 Starscream (Energon)
5 Tarantulas (Transmetal)
6 Megatron (RiD)
6 Predaking
6 Sideburn (RiD)
6 Skywarp (orig.)
6 Super Mach Alert
6 Victory Saber (Victory)
7 Megatron (Armada)
7 Optimal Optimus
7 Optimus Prime/Fire Convoy (RiD)
7 Starscream (orig.)
8 Optimus Primal (BW Ultra)
9 Galvatron (orig.)
9 Optimus Prime (Armada Supercon)
9 Sandstorm (orig.)
9 Scorponok (orig.)
10 Megatron (Transmetal)
11 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
12 Jazz (orig.)
13 Grimlock (orig.)
13 Omega Supreme
14 Metroplex
15 Omega Prime/Super Fire Convoy
18 Megatron (Transmetal 2)
18 Optimus Prime (Laser Rod)
19 Air Attack Optimus Primal (RiD)
21 Optimus Prime (RiD)/Fire Convoy
24 Powermaster Optimus Prime/God Ginrai (Masterforce)
29 Jetfire/Skyfire (orig.)
35 Soundwave (orig.)
36 Megatron (orig.)
38 Fortress Maximus (orig.)
45 Scourge (RiD)/Black Convoy
48 Optimus Prime (orig.)
94 Smokescreen (Alternator/Binaltech)
141 Masterpiece Convoy/20th Anniversary Optimus Prime
144 Unicron (Armada)
All three choices came from this year. Prime is a given. Binaltech
Smokescreen is absolute perfection. Unicron is... well, he's friggin
UNICRON!
--Lord Zarak
Fireconvoy -- a damn fine toy and a generally accepted redesign for
Optimus prime, that I love simply because his super-mode looks nothing
like the other primes, lets hear it for originality.
--Matt Super
Megaplex, E-Hobby Exclusive. I'll vote for him for the sheer bravado
Takara has shown. <Takara> No, he's nothing like Megatron. He's got
blue leg panels. HE'S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT CHARCTER. GIVE US $90.00.
--Brian Kilby
Soundwave - Not an actual radio. Enough said.
--Doomstink
I liked the evil-color Laser Prime better, cause he doesn't has his
name written on his trailer like a dumbass. Robot in Disguise indeed.
--Shungokushatsu
Inferno still has the best, most lunatic action-feature ever - the
butt-propeller.
--Wayward
Yes, that's right, Hooligan! If it wasn't for him and his fellow
Cyberjets, all those poseable toys we have now might not be here.
--Scott Kampa
Did you know that Galvatron's cannon makes an excellent fake cigar, or
even a pacifier? It's true! The life of a three year old girl is just
full of discoveries!
--Themis56
Galvatron. Nothing like sticking a carrot-like piece of plastic into
a robots head and pressing a button right above his crotch to make him
light up.
--Bombzab
SPARKPLUG: There's something WRONG seeing those two quotes put
together.
DUALOR: And WHY do you think they were put together?
T-A.I.: For a very cheap joke, of course!
------------------------------
*** Best Convention-Exclusive Toy
1 Black Rodimus Convoy (Hyper Hobby #38)
1 Vice Grip (BotCon 1998)
2 Kickback statue (WizardWorld East 2003)
2 Onyx Primal (BotCon 1996)
2 Shining Ultra Magnus (Yokohama Toy Show)
3 Bombshell statue (WizardWorld Houston 2003)
3 Brawn Spychanger (CybCon 2002)
3 Megazarak (OTFCC 2004)
3 Optimus Prime Choro-Q (BotCon Japan 2000)
4 Optimus Prime Spychanger (CybCon 2002)
4 Packrat (BotCon 1997)
5 SHBM Galvatron (BotCon Japan 1997)
5 Scavenger (CybCon 2001)
6 Nightracer (BotCon 1995)
6 Rook (BotCon Europe 2002)
7 Fractyl (BotCon 1997)
8 Sunstorm PVC (OTFCC 2003)
9 Black Convoy (JafCon 2000)
9 Heroes of Cybertron Seekers PVC six-pack (BotCon 2003)
11 Apelinq (BotCon 2001)
14 Breakdown (BotCon 1994)
16 Sandstorm (BotCon 1999)
17 Windrazor (BotCon 1999)
18 Tap-Out (BotCon 2002)
21 Glyph (BotCon 2002)
23 CatSCAN (BotCon 2002)
28 Antagony (BotCon 1998)
29 Sunstreaker (OTFCC 2003)
30 Shadow Striker (OTFCC 2003)
37 Sideswipe (OTFCC 2003)
40 Roulette (OTFCC 2003)
54 Shokaract (BotCon 2000)
74 Tigatron (BotCon 2001)
86 Arcee (BotCon 2001)
93 Cyclonus (BotCon 2002)
Only one vote on this one -- Botcon Cyclonus, the most beautifully
done Transformer I have EVER seen. The interplay of Transmetallic and
regular purples complimenting his aerodynamic lines is nothing short
of breathtaking. Jaws drop when I show this toy off to my friends --
and the G1 fans are twice as amazed when they realize that's it's an
homage to Cyclonus. "It's perfect," they say, and they're right.
--Rev. Pee Kitty
Botcon "Chatty" Arcee. Not just a pretty face, and she's not afraid to
point this out -- frequently.
--Ryan Hawe/Darwinian Road Kill
Roulette is a great toy. The remold of the head to make it look both
feminine and unique, coupled with a toy that also looks strong but
feminine in both modes, and painted in beautifully complimentary
colours, makes for one sharp looking toy. Wonderful bio to go with
it. A shame the same can't be said of Shadow Striker...
--Stormrave
The only thing that could stop Shokaract from being #1 is if he sent
heralds into his own past to ensure his ongoing perpetual victory.
--David "Walky" Willis
Glyph: A blue recolor of keychain Bumblebee... what's not to love
about it?
--PlutoniumBoss/"Myles" Carlton Garlick
Shuttle Chodes, Crazy Steve's WTF Convention Exclusive #2 (OTFCC03)
Limited decoy giftset commemorating the 17th anniversary of the death
of Brawn.
--necrotron
I am unqualified to answer this, so i'll just say CybCon Scavenger,
since Zobovor is cool.
--RandomFerret
DUALOR: Is it just me, or were the OTFCC 2003 guys
overcompensating on the exclusive toys?
SPARKPLUG: Yeah, they had a lot of stuff last year, didn't they?
T-A.I.: I think it's nice; they probably wanted to give something
back to the fans.
DUALOR: Sure, but you believe in the tooth fairy too.
------------------------------
*** Worst Toy of the Year
1 Astroscope (Minicon)
1 Cheetor (Armada)
1 Highwire (Minicon)
1 Hoist (Armada)
1 Hot Shot (Energon)
1 Hot Shot Powerlinx (Armada)
1 Jhiaxus
1 Optimus Prime Powerlinx (Armada)
1 Rapid Run
1 Red Alert (Armada)
1 Refute
1 Shadow Striker (OTFCC 2003)
1 Side Swipe (Alternator)/Lambor (Binaltech)
1 Snarl (Universe)
1 Space Action Team (Minicon)
1 Street Speed Team (Minicon)
1 Tidal Wave
1 Treadbolt (Energon)
1 WARS
1 Wheeljack (Armada)
2 Armourhide (Minicon)
2 Cyclonus (Armada)
2 Cyclonus Powerlinx (Armada)
2 Ironhide (Energon)
2 Optimus Primal (Universe)
2 Overload (Armada)
2 Predacon
2 Ratchet (Universe)
2 Ruination (urban yellow variant)
2 Smokescreen (Alternator/Binaltech)
2 Street Action Team/Perceptor (Minicon)
2 Thrust Powerlinx (Armada)
3 Silverbolt (Universe)
3 Ultra Magnus (Universe)
3 Unicron
4 Laserbeak (Armada)
4 Scavenger (Armada)
4 Sideways (Armada)
4 Smokescreen (Armada)
5 Optimus Prime (Armada)
5 Thrust (Armada)
6 Hot Shot (Armada)
6 Nightbeat (Minicon)
21 Optimus Prime (Energon)
40 Sideswipe (Armada)
Armada Sideswipe. There's thigh problems, and then there's "My torso
fits through the door, but my hips are bigger than the BUILDING."
--Robert Powers
What do you get when you take one of the best Transmetals toys, strip
off the vacuum-metalized chrome, cast the toy in completely random
colors and paint applications, and then affix tiny sports cars to its
body? Why, you get Predacon, of course. Well, and Cheetor. Yes, and
Airazor. Sure, and Rhinox. Uh, yeah, and Terrorsaur, too. Wait, let's
start over.
--Dave "Zobovor" Edwards
Armada Cyclonus repaint. As if he wasn't ugly enough, they gave
Armada Cyc a NEW paint job. And NO it does NOT make him look any
better. :P
--Sheba
Universe Silverbolt. You seen the new paintjob on the guy? It puts
Elita's fembots to shame.
--Whirlwind
[And now, the special commemorative "Build to Suck" award:]
Jeez, can I just vote for all the Built-To-Rule Transformers. I used
to make much better lookg Transformers out of Legos when I was a kid.
Heck, one night I made a better looking version of Optimus Prime out
of mashed potatoes and peas.
--Thundercracker1978
Built-To-Rule, maybe? Nice vehicle modes, sucky robot modes.
--Lord Black "Nytetrayn" Draco
Admitted, there were plenty of ugly TFs this year, but I am trying to
forget BTR even exists! (Those things remind me of the failed Ripley
clones in the 4th Alien movie! "Kill me....")
--Bloodcat
I know America has a problem with obesity effecting most people, but
when it spreads to the legendary leader of the Autobots, you know
you've got a problem on your hands. Energon Prime is fat, big, chunky,
overweight, pilling on the pounds, due for retirement, in need of slim
fast, the latest victim of the Atkins diet.
--Divefire
I bought Sideways because of the gimmick. Wow, I thought, a robot who
changes from Autobot to Decepticon based on the minicon attached!
Only too late did I realize that while his first faction is Autobot
and his second faction is Decepticon, his third and permanent faction
is his serving as the President Of UGLY.
--Merytneith
DUALOR: Hey, it's hard to look attractive when two of your robot
modes consists of having a Mini-con do a headstand on
your shoulder and waving his ass at everyone.
T-A.I.: Thank you for THAT disturbing mental image.
------------------------------
*** The Earth Day Award, for the best reuse of a character's name
1 Battle Ravage (Energon)
1 Bludgeon (Armada)
1 Dead End (Minicon)
1 Fortress Maximus PVC
1 Galvatron (Beast Wars Second)
1 Grapple (Armada)
1 Grimlock (BW)
1 Hot Shot (Armada)
1 Hot Shot (Energon)
1 Ironhide (BW Magnaboss elephant)
1 Ironhide (Energon)
1 Jetstorm (BM)
1 Megatron (Armada)
1 Megatron (BW T-rex)
1 Megatron (BW Transmetal)
1 Nightbeat (Minicon)
1 Optimus Prime (RiD)
1 Prowl (Transmetal 2)
1 Rampage (Micron Legend)
1 Ratchet (Universe)
1 Red Alert (Armada)
1 Red Alert (Universe)
1 Rodimus (Energon)
1 Scavenger (Armada)
1 Scorponok (BW)
1 Sideswipe (Armada)
1 Sideways (Armada)
1 Starscream (Energon)
1 Street Action Team/Perceptor (Armada)
1 Thundercracker (Armada)
2 Arcee (Energon)
2 Cyclonus (Armada)
2 Hoist (Armada)
2 Inferno (Energon)
2 Scourge (Rid)
2 Shockwave (Micron Legend)
2 Silverbolt (BW)
2 Skywarp (Armada)
2 Sunstreaker (OTFCC exclusive)
3 Prowl (RiD)
3 Rampage (BW)
3 Soundwave (Mutant Beast Wars)
3 Thrust (Armada)
4 Leader-1 (Minicon)
4 Sparkplug (Minicon)
5 Optimus Prime (Armada)
6 Blurr (Armada)
6 Jetfire (Armada)
6 Wheeljack (Armada)
12 Scorponok (Energon)
13 Smokescreen (Alternators/Binaltech)
14 Inferno (BW)
33 Starscream (Armada)
Starscream (G1/Armada) A power hungry Decepticon traitor from G1
becomes an honorable Decepticon warior caught between what he believes
is right and loyalty to the Decepticons he briefly betrayed by joining
the Autobots. He may not be the same character, but he's almost as
much a traitor to the Decepticons, and with just as much personality
as the original.
--FlameStrike
Leader-1 (Armada). As someone who didn't much care for the original
Gobots, making the main good guy into Megatron's ***** seems very
appropriate to me.
--Conor E
BW Rampage. The G1 Rampgae, while cool, is sadly just another
forgetable Big Bad Decepticon character. BW Rampage made Season 2 and
3.
--Razorpack
Go-bots Buzz-Bot. I mean, look at him! This is the closest thing we'll
get to a Transtech figure, people.
--RandomFerret
I've got to hand it to Ironhide being assigned to the Beast Wars
Magnaboss elephant. Try as I might, I can't think of a better name for
a Transformers elephant.
--Joona I Palaste
I would have to say the team name "Terrorcons" for a knock off set of
TF's I saw on ebay, consisting of 2 Terrocons, 2 Technobots, and a
Protectobot. In pink.
--ANROneOfAkind
SPARKPLUG: That sounds like a terrifying sight, all right.
T-A.I.: What's more terrifying, the pairing or the color?
DUALOR: Does it matter? It's all bad.
------------------------------
*** The Grave-Spinning Award, for the worst reuse of a character's
name
1 Battle Ravage
1 Bruticus (BM)
1 Bruticus (RiD)
1 Galvatron (Armada)
1 Hoist (Armada)
1 Hot Shot (Armada)
1 Ironhide (RiD)
1 Jetstorm (Armada)
1 Leader-1 (Minicon)
1 Megatron (Armada)
1 Megatron (BM)
1 Megatron (BW Ultra T-rex)
1 Megatron (BW basic bat)
1 Mirage (Minicon)
1 Optimus Minor
1 Optimus Primal (BM)
1 Optimus Prime (Armada)
1 Over-Run (Armada)
1 Prowl (RiD)
1 Rampage (Beast Wars)
1 Scavenger (Transmetal)
1 Scourge (RiD)
1 Skid-Z
1 Skyboom (Minicon)
1 Snarl (Universe)
1 Sparkplug (Armada)
1 Thrust (Armada)
1 Thunderwing (Minicon)
2 Inferno (Minicon)
2 Ironhide (Energon)
2 Jetfire (Armada)
2 Megatron (Energon)
2 Prowl (Transmetal 2 owl)
2 Scorponok (Energon)
2 Starscream (Armada)
3 Ironhide (Armada)
3 Prowl (Minicon)
3 Prowl 2
3 Ratchet (universe)
3 Soundwave (BW mutant)
3 Soundwave (Go-bot)
5 Inferno (Universe)
5 Optimus Prime (energon)
5 Street Action Team/Perceptor (Minicon)
6 Nightbeat (Armada)
7 Laserbeak (Armada)
10 Wheeljack (Armada)
13 Cyclonus (Armada)
16 Sideswipe (Armada)
22 Grimlock (RiD)
25 Smokescreen (Armada)
Smokescreen (Armada), since neither of his modes nor any of his
abilities have anything to do with smoke or screens. He'd have been
much better named Grapple, Hook or Hoist, or even better, something
original.
--Implode
Sideswipe. I'd like to say I like the character. I'd like to say I
like the toy. But, I don't need the extra bad karma.
--Gekisou
Grimlock (RiD) (From T-Rex to JCB...sheesh)
--KingMob
Prowl. Every set seems to have one of him
--Michael
The name "Galvatron" has just become shorthand for "Megatron repaint".
--Amanda "Dragonclaw" Wells
"Mirage". *YOU* figure out which post-G1 version I'm talking
about! :D
--Merytneith
Laserbeak (or however it got spelled for Armada). No lasers, no
beak... no character. Why bother?
--kidu
Thunderwing. Once the scourge of the Autobots, now a dinky little
minicon who, let's be honest, probably isn't the scourge of his own
back garden.
--Bluestreak Paul
RiD Jhaxius. I've waited years for a Jhaxius toy. This ain't it.
--NightViper
TFU "Inferno". If it looks like a Red Alert, smells like a Red Alert,
sounds like a Red Alert, and most importantly is PAINTED like a Red
Alert.... WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY IS IT *NOT* RED ALERT?!
--Robert Powers
DUALOR: Because that would actually make sense!
------------------------------
*** The "Transform THIS!" Award, for the Transformers toy with the
best transformation
1 Battle Unicorn
1 Blackarachnia (BM)
1 Blitzwing
1 Bluestreak (orig.)
1 Doubledealer
1 Firebot (Minicon)
1 Galvatron (Armada)
1 Galvatron (orig.)
1 Hotshot (Armada)
1 Inferno (BW)
1 Ironhide (RiD Spychanger)
1 Jazz
1 Lioconvoy (Beast Wars Second)
1 Mach Alert (Beast Wars Neo)
1 Megabolt Megatron (RiD)
1 Megatron (Choro-Q)
1 Megatron (Transmetal T-Rex)
1 Megatron/Galvatron (RiD)
1 Nemesis Prime
1 Nightviper (BM)
1 Omega Prime (RiD)
1 Omega Supreme
1 Overload
1 Powermaster Optimus Prime
1 Prowl (RiD)
1 Prowl (orig.)
1 Ratbat
1 Sandstorm (orig.)
1 Scavenger (BM)
1 Scorponok (Energon)
1 Scourge (RiD Spychanger)
1 Side Swipe (Alternator)/Lambor (Binaltech)
1 Sixshot
1 Smokescreen (G2)
1 Snarl (orig.)
1 Soundwave (orig.)
1 Spiral (Minicon)
1 Stalker (G2)
1 Starscream/Skywarp/Thundercracker (orig.)
1 Street Action Team/Perceptor (Minicon)
1 Strika
1 Strong Arm
1 Tailgate
1 Tarantulas (Transmetal)
1 Terrorsaur (orig.)
1 Trainbots/Raiden
1 Trypticon
1 Victory Leo (Victory)
2 Dead End (Minicon)
2 Fortress Maximus (orig.)
2 Metroplex
2 Optimal Optimus
2 Optimus Prime (Armada Supercon)
2 Optimus Prime (RiD)
2 Sideburn (RiD)
2 Starscream (Energon)
3 Astrotrain
3 Jetfire (Armada)
3 Megatron (Transmetal 2 dragon)/Cryotek
3 X-Brawn
4 Bonecrusher (Minicon)
4 Laser Rod Optimus Prime (G2)/Scourge (RiD)
4 Optimus Prime (orig.)
4 Starscream (Armada)
4 Wheeljack (Armada)
5 Jetfire/Skyfire (orig.)
5 Megatron (orig.)
8 Tidal Wave
21 Unicron
25 Masterpiece Convoy/20th Anniversary Optimus Prime
28 Smokescreen (Alternator/Binaltech)
BT Smokescreen. Took me 30 minutes to transform him on my way to work.
No, I wasn't driving at the time.
--dirge
Optimal Optimus - big toy, four modes, all transmetal ;)
--Bill "RedStreak" Talor
Bonecrusher (ARM) - A transformation so flawless should not naturally
exist in one so small... I suspect a bargain with Satan... that single
red eye has the glint of the damned...
--Iacon
Armada Dead End. COMBAT READY GONAD.
--HOOPER_X
Fortress Maximus, it's like wrestling a small baby, eat your hearts
out catholic priests.
--Winterblast
Gotta give it up for Masterpiece convoy simply because a lot of
thought went into the piece and the team who worked on it are all
geniuses in my book. Bring on the Nobel Prize for toy-design.
--Matt Super
Overload. He even has the damn /sound/ man! THE SOUND!
--Blind Zen Archer
Jazz! What other TF out there is willing to risk screwing up a
swandive and slamming his face into a telephone pole or innocent
pedestrian? Jazz is cool in EVERYTHING.
--Themis56
SPARKPLUG: You know what's going to be fun?
T-A.I.: What?
SPARKPLUG: Watching the winners for this award next year, where the
top ten winners will all be Alternators/Binaltech toys.
DUALOR: I'd pay good money just to watch the fans try to pick
their top THREE.
T-A.I.: You boys are cruel.
------------------------------
*** The Big Ugly Bot Award, for the ugliest Transformers toy
1 Big Daddy
1 Blot
1 Bludgeon (orig.)
1 Bonecrusher (BW)
1 Bulletbike (G2 Power Master)
1 Buzzsaw (BM)
1 Demolishor (Armada)
1 Demolishor (Energon)
1 Demolishor (Happy Meal)
1 Demolishor Powerlinx (Armada)
1 Depth Charge (Universe)
1 Dinobot
1 Dinobot 2 (Happy Meal)
1 Fortress Maximus (orig.)
1 Galvatron (orig.)
1 Gnaw
1 Grandus (Return of Convoy/Battlestars)
1 Grimlock (BW)
1 Grimlock (Pretender)
1 Highwire
1 Hoist (Armada)
1 Hot Shot Powerlinx (Armada)
1 Ironhide (BW elephant)
1 Ironhide (Minicon)
1 Jetfire (Armada)
1 King Atlas (Universe)
1 Laserbeak (Armada)
1 Longtooth
1 Meanstreak (Power Master)
1 Motormaster
1 Oceanglide (Minicon)
1 Octopunch
1 Optimal Optimus
1 Optimus Minor
1 Optimus Primal (Happy Meal)
1 Optimus Primal (Universe)
1 Optimus Prime (Armada)
1 Predacon
1 Prowl (Armada)
1 Quickswitch
1 Ramulus
1 Ratchet (orig.)
1 Reptilion (Universe)
1 Rhinox (orig.)
1 Scavenger (BM)
1 Scavenger (Transmetal)
1 Side Burn
1 Silverbolt (BM)
1 Sixshot
1 Soundwave (BW)
1 Soundwave (Gobot)
1 Sunstorm
1 Sureshock (Armada)
1 Tankorr
1 Tentakil
1 Terrorsaur (Universe)
1 Thundercracker (Action Master)
1 Tracks
1 Transquito
1 Treadbolt (Energon)
1 Tripredicus
1 Vroom (Pretender)
2 Astroscope
2 Cyclonus (Armada)
2 Cyclonus Powerlinx (Armada)
2 Drill Bit
2 Geckobot (BM)
2 Nightscream (BM)
2 Optimus Prime (Universe)
2 Red Alert Powerlinx (Armada)
2 Rodimus Prime
2 Scorponok (Energon)
2 Sideways (Armada)
2 Street Action Team/Perceptor (Armada)
2 Thrust (Armada)
2 Tidal Wave (Armada)
2 Wheelie
3 Overload (Armada)
3 Retrax (BW)
3 Scavenger (Armada)
4 Hot Shot (Armada)
4 Megatron (orig.)
4 Nightbeat (Minicon)
4 Silverbolt (Universe)
5 Bruticus (RiD)
6 Ironhide (orig.)
11 Sideswipe (Armada)
16 Injector
22 Optimus Prime (Energon)
Energon Optimus Prime - "And I'll form THE HEAD! ... right after I
finish this plate of nachos."
--Aernaroth
BM Silverbolt. Easily the worst TF toy EVER, IMO. It transformed from
an awkward, badly colored, way too tiny robot into a mess of non-
connecting limbs that looks like a bird only if you're willing to
imagine that said bird was run over first by the entire G1 Autobot
cast. That he was fairly cool in the show only makes that peice of
cr@p toy seem worse. Whoever okayed that mess deserves a visit from
Monstructor.
--ZacWilliam
Longtooth, yeah the yellow pants and skull belt will make him more
intimidating. *Thumbs up*
--Ethan Hammond
Minicon Sea Team's Oceanglide, the first Minicon and TF ever to come
with the beer-guzzling hat.
--Aaron Hong, Sergeant Major 1st Armored Rangers
McDonalds Demolisher. You ever seen him? DON'T.
--Alloran
Soundwave (BW)- Whenever I look at my BW Mutant Soundwave (still
sealed in package due to fear rather than greed), I get mental images
of glass tanks filled with failed attempts to clone Ren Hoek...
--Iacon
Thundercracker (Actionmaster) Wow. Just what a tough-as-nails
Decepticon warrior needs, a neon colour scheme.
--Conor E
My theory on why Injector is not being re-released in Universe? It
can't possibly be made any more hideous!
--necrotron
DUALOR: If someone at Hasbro takes that as a challenge, we'll
know who to blame.
------------------------------
*** Strangest Merchandise Item of All Time
1 Armada Happy Meal toys
1 Armada backpack
1 Armada bag
1 Autobot/Decepticon football jerseys
1 Beast Wars "just add water" coloring books
1 Beast Wars Neo fish sausages
1 Bedsheets
1 Bluestreak walkie-talkies
1 BotCon 2002 exclusive RiD commercial dance-mix CD
1 Bumblebee keychain
1 Chrono-Qs
1 Deployers
1 Drink coasters (included with region 4 season 1 DVD)
1 Erasers
1 Japanese die-cast Armada Figures
1 Megatron gun microphone
1 Minerva PVC figure
1 Mini jigsaw puzzles
1 Optimus Prime Squeeze 'n Blow
1 Optimus Prime cookie jar
1 Optimus Prime slippers
1 Optimus Prime soap
1 Optimus Prime sunglasses
1 PVC figures
1 Party balloons
1 Party supply display center
1 Ramjet toast cutters
1 Shampoo bottle caps
1 Smallest Transformers figures
1 Soundwave tape player
1 Soundwave toothpaste
1 Tiny tins
1 Trading cards
1 Transformer Icy-pole snacks
1 Transformer dictionary
1 Transformers "Find Your Fate" books
1 Transformers Autobot sigil car air freshener
1 Transformers Board Game
1 Transformers Christmas crackers
1 Transformers bottle caps
1 Transformers cereal
1 Transformers snow booties
1 Transformers welly (rubber) boots
1 Transformers: Energon Scorponok kite
1 Transformers: Takara UK DVD
1 Tyco race Set
1 Ultra Magnus Halloween costume
2 "Satellite of Doom/When Continents Collide" video storybook
2 Beast Wars Japanese Rattrap sausages
2 Built to Rule figures
2 Megatron gumball machine
2 Optimus Prime shampoo
2 Skywarp soap dish
2 Starscream inflatable lounge-in
2 Transformers playing cards
2 Ultra Magnus voice changer
3 Armada bubble twist candy with figures
3 Armada slippers/shoes
3 Memorial plates
3 Optimus Prime lollipops
3 Tyco train set
3 Watches
3 Zippo Optimus Prime lighter
4 Armada Optimus Prime keychain flashlight
4 Role-play Star Saber/Dark Saber
5 Bobbleheads
8 RiD party/Christmas tree lights
12 Transformers Underoos/underwear
19 Optimus Prime Oral Care Station
Optimus Prime Oral Care Station. I'd love me some oral care, but from
Oprimus Prime?
--lastmaximal
The Soundwave Grandfather clock I saw on a fanpage once, though not
official sadly.
--ANROneOfAkind
Transformers Zippo lighters. Nice to know that Optimus Prime is
encouraging kids to smoke.
--Goktimus Prime
The Botcon 2002 exclusive RID-commercial-dance-mix soundtrack CD
distributed by the Hasbro reps. I suppose it's the thought that
counts, but.... a plastic tree died for *this*?
--Thylacine 2000
Transformer poop! was available for a short time at novelty stores in
mid 90's it was large nuts and bolts painted black
--Mike/Sideswipe6520
"Satellite of Doom/When Continents Collide," the video storybook that
M_Sipher unleashed upon an unsuspecting audience at the 2003 MST3K
panel. Should the CIA force Saddam Hussein to watch it, he'll be
spilling his entire life story by the time it's over.
--Daniel "Suspsy" Suh
Soundwave Toothpaste from Israel. What did it taste like? DONT ASK!!!
Eww!
--Seawave
The G1 Skywarp soap dish. I can just imagine the conversations in
homes all over American in 1984:
MOM: Timmy, go upstairs and wash your hands for dinner.
TIMMY: Aww, gee whiz, do I have to, Mom?
MOM: Don't you want to be like Skywarp? Skywarp always washes his
hands after he tears the still-beating energon pump out of
his enemy's chest and comes away covered with the black,
glistening, oily blood of his still-writhing victim.
TIMMY: Mom, you're off your medication again, aren't you?
--Dave "Zobovor" Edwards
DUALOR: It takes a special kind of twisted mind to imagine
something like this.
SPARKPLUG: You're the authority there.
------------------------------
*** The "Justifiable Murder" Award, for the most desired merchandise
item you want
1 Arcee statue
1 Armada Starscream club shirt
1 Armada kids punching bags
1 Armada roleplay Star Saber
1 Autobot and Decepticon car decals
1 Beast Wars Metals Nintendo 64 game
1 Beast Wars Season 2 on DVD
1 BotCon comics
1 Botanica toy
1 Clothing
1 Comic book series signed by Simon Furman
1 Devastator/Superion poster
1 Die-cast Convoy and Megatron BW statues
1 Display end cap
1 Dreamwave's Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye TPBS
1 Energon Blaster suction dart gun
1 Energon Scorponok kite
1 Energon sword roleplay
1 Fleer Transformer Armada collector cards
1 G1 Unicron prototype
1 G2 Menasaur prototype
1 Galvatron statue
1 Hot Rod go-kart
1 Japanese DVDs
1 Jazz Oral Care Station
1 Jazz and Thundercracker promotional costumes
1 Lithographs
1 "Matrix Forever" Japanese laserdisc
1 McDonalds Happy Meal Armada Demolishor
1 Mega SCF Victory Leo
1 Megatron and Soundwave placemat
1 Megatron club shirts
1 Megatron keychain figurine
1 Movie cel
1 Myclone Dirge
1 OTFCC documentary video
1 Optimus Prime Oral Care Station
1 Original G1 production mold
1 Original Pat Lee Transformers artwork
1 Paint-a-Figure Grimlock
1 Roleplay Matrix
1 Simon Furman's "Transformers: Alignment" story
1 Skywarp PVC figure
1 Skywarp and Soundwave vs. Snarl and Sideswipe poster
1 Smallest Transformers
1 Starscream inflatable lounge-in
1 Stickers
1 Sunstorm PVC figure
1 Trailer for Masterpiece Convoy
1 Transformers Rock-em Sock-em Robots game
1 Transformers playing cards
1 Transformers sleeping bag
1 Transformers: Armada on DVD
1 Transformers: Armada playing cards
1 Transformers: Generations photo book
1 Transformers: The Movie script
1 Transformers: The Movie soundtrack
1 Ultra Magnus AM/FM radio
1 Voice changer
1 Watches
1 World's Smallest Skywarp
2 Elita-1 MC Axis resin kit model
2 Hot Rod MC Axis resin kit model
2 Inflattable Unicron promotional display
2 Optimus Prime Statue (full body)
2 Ravage statue
2 Rhinox statue
2 Soundwave radio/tape recorder
2 Statues
2 "'Til All Are One" BotCon '97 CD set
2 Transformers Bedsheets
2 Transformers PlayStation 2 game
2 Transformers Underoos/underwear
2 Transformers: Armada PS2 game
2 Transformers: Genesis art book
2 Tyco train set
2 Unicron status
3 Dreamwave mega lithograph
3 Optimus Prime Cookie Jar
3 Trading cards
3 Transformers UK comic book series
9 Transformers G1 DVDs
A Region 2 DVD boxed set of *all* TF episodes
--Tim Roll-Pickering
The *entirety* of Transformers: UK reprinted. And that's including
Earthforce recoloured. And the Action Force crossover. Who'd I have to
justifiably murder at Marvel for that?
--Hotmissile
A Paint-a-Figure Grimlock. Used to have one, mother lost it for me,
that beeyatch is hard to find....
--Sharon "Tut" LaBorde
The Starscream lounge chair -- and don't give me any smart-aleck
suggestive comments. It's got my favorite character on it, so I want
it, it's as simple as that.
--Quallevra
Optimus Prime Cookie Jar. For me, personally, it never ends.
--Quag Prime
Gotta get me some TF related underpants. that'll impress the ladies.
--Bluestreak Paul
I want for nothing. I don't really collect merchandice, so there's
nothing I would actually kill for. Maybe a complete G2 Menasaur
prototype, but the only place I can get that is better-guarded than
Bill Clinton's Burger Vault.....
--Freds Workshop
[And from the "Way-Out Wishes" category:]
A working Transfromer DUH!
--Dev-Nul+
A G1-styled Devcon. That would be so awesome.
--Redstreak
Punching bags of all the Armada kids. Just imagine, next time you hear
Alexis bitch at someone, or Fred complain about his hunger, or Carlos
say something in that unbelievably annoying sterotypical gringo accent
of his, or Rad claim to understand the unintelligible bleeping noises
coming out of the Minicons, you can just beat the crap out of the
appropriate inflatable scapegoat! Highly theraputic!
--Srini Varanasi
Botanica toy. RATTRAP NEEDS HIS WOMAN! Let the poor guy have his gal
pal!
--Bloodcat
Megatron The Conqueror And His Ultimate Horde Erasing The Autobots
From Existence - the Movie. (catchy title, isn't it?)
--Jetstorm666
Rumour has it that they created a working Autobot Matrix of Leadership
for movie merchandising but they had to recall it after the glow in
the dark uranium nightlight gave a bunch of kids leukemia. I'd like
that and a lead shield.
--Zodiac
A fandom that doesn't bitch so damn much
--Matt Super
DUALOR: Why not just ask for something simpler, like world peace?
SPARKPLUG: Because it wouldn't be as funny if he did?
T-A.I.: Given the type of comedy we've gotten so far, I don't
think we can get any lower.
[Cut to commercials]
======================================================================
PART III: TELEVISION AND MOVIES
*** Best Single Episode or Multiple-Part Episode of the Year
1 Alliance
1 Carnival
1 Chase
1 Cramp/Alliance/Union/Origin/Mortal Combat
1 Crisis
1 Dash
1 First Encounter
1 First Encounter/Metamorphisis/Base
1 Gale
1 Origin
1 Portent
1 Redemption
1 Ruin
1 Tactician
1 Unity
2 Detection
2 Mars
2 Regeneration
2 Sacrifice
2 Unity/Origin/Mortal Combat
3 Crack
4 Rebellion
9 Past, parts 1-2
20 Cramp
37 Mortal Combat
Mortal Combat. The final episode of Armada launched us into the big
Prime vs. Galvatron battle royal that the entire series had been
slowly building up to. It evoked sweet memories of Prime and Megs in
the movie, mixed in with a touch of Hot Rod vs. Galvatron, since it
took place within the confines of the diabolical Unicron. The
animation was beautiful, the action was brutal, and the consequences
were dire. Hard to believe this masterpiece was the final installment
of a series that once farted out "Carnival"!
--Srini Varanasi
"Mortal Combat" gets the "Thank Primus it's finally OVER!" vote.
--Mark A. Brown
"Rebellion". There's a lot more going on in this episode than there
seems at first glance. Tons of excellent Decepticon characterization
and some interesting scenes depicting what's really going on in
Megatron's head.
--Mako Crab
Armada was dubbed into Dutch here in Holland. Seeing it is already
bad, and Dutch dubbing is usually pretty bad, it got worse. So I
didn't bother watching.
--Thomas Hamann
"Cramp" was an all-around great episode, but what truly makes it stand
out is the fact that it achieved what most fans would've dismissed as
impossible. It caused the name "Starscream" to be associated with
courage, honour, selflessness, and heroism. Not since that fateful
winter evening in 1998 when I watched "Code of Hero" have I been so
moved by a TFs episode.
--Daniel "Suspsy" Suh
Past, parts one and two. Armada's plots begin to visibly improve. And
it only took half the series too :)
--Matrix Dragon
Detection (Armada). I watched only 42 episodes of Armada to date and
heard that last episodes are best, but I quite liked Detection. Mainly
because action does focus on Decepticons. Thrust is in his best form
there and Sideways become much more than I expected from him. Last but
not least, Autobrats presence is reduced to minimum.
--Jetstorm666
SPARKPLUG: Does it mean anything that only the first and last
episodes of Armada have titles that WEREN'T a single
word?
DUALOR: Sure. It means those were the only times the writers
actually bothered to use their creativity.
T-A.I.: "Mortal Combat" isn't a very creative title.
DUALOR: I never said they had a lot of it.
------------------------------
*** Best Single Episode Ever
1 A Prime Problem
1 Attack of the Autobots
1 B.O.T.
1 Beast Wars (pilot), part 2
1 Coming of the Fuzors, part 2
1 Crossing the Rubicon
1 End of the Line
1 Five Faces of Darkness, part 5
1 Kremzeek!
1 Life Can Be Sacrificed For Planet Earth (Headmasters)
1 Link Up
1 Master of the House
1 Megastorm's Reckoning (Beast Wars Second)
1 More Than Meets the Eye, part 3
1 Nemesis, part 1
1 Origin
1 Prime Target
1 Sacrifice
1 Spark of Darkness
1 Star Saber, Hero of the Universe (Victory)
1 The Spark
1 The Ultimate Battle (Masterforce)
1 The Ultimate Doom, part 3
2 Alliance
2 Awaken, Victory Leo! (Victory)
2 Cutting Edge
2 Dinobot Island
2 Double Jeopardy
2 Farewell, God Ginrai (Victory)
2 Feral Scream, part 1
2 Fires of the Past
2 In Darkest Knight
2 Madman's Paradise
2 Only Human
2 Portent
2 Prometheus Unbound
2 Rebelion
2 The Deceptions
2 The Fish Test
2 The Green Warrior
2 The Master Builders
2 The Weak Component
2 Enlarge, Fortress Maximus!
3 A Decepticon Raider In King Arthur'S Court
3 Battle in the Desert (Masterforce)
3 Carnival
3 Child's Play
3 Crisis
3 Death of Ultra Magnus (Headmasters)
3 Divide and Conquer
3 Enter the Nightbird
3 Four Warriors Come Out Of The Sky (Headmasters)
3 Hoist Goes Hollywood
3 LioKaiser, Merge! (Victory)
3 Proving Grounds
3 SOS Dinobots
3 Scramble City
3 Sky-Byte Saves the Day
3 The Killing Jar
3 The Probe
3 Traitor
4 A Plague of Insecticons
4 Atlantis, Arise!
4 Forever is a Long Time Coming
4 Grimlock's New Brain
4 Master Blaster
4 Money is Everything
4 Other Victories
4 Other Voices, part 2
4 S.O.S. Dinobots
4 The Gambler
4 The Immobilizer
4 The Insecticon Syndrome
5 Auto-Bop
5 Charge! The Fortress Against The Victory Combination (Victory)
5 Fire on the Mountain
5 Return of Optimus Prime, part 2
5 Roll For It
5 Search For Alpha Trion
5 Starscream's Ghost
5 The Agenda, part 2
5 Transformers: Zone
5 War of the Dinobots
6 Aftermath
6 Changing Gears
6 City of Steel
6 Dweller in the Depths
6 Fire in the Sky
6 More Than Meets The Eye, part 2
6 Optimal Situation
6 The Girl Who Loved Powerglide
6 The Ultimate Weapon
7 Make Tracks
7 Microbots
7 Rebirth, part 1
7 The Low Road
7 The Secret of Omega Supreme
7 Triple Takeover
7 Victory
8 Countdown to Extinction
9 Carnage In C-Minor
9 Cramp
9 Dark Designs
9 Endgame, part 3: The Seeds of the Future
10 Ghost in the Machine
10 Law of the Jungle
10 Masquerade
11 Fight or Flee
11 The Search for Alpha Trion
12 Bad Spark
12 More Than Meets The Eye, part 1
12 The God Gambit
13 Revenge of Bruticus
14 Cosmic Rust
15 Auto Berserk
15 The Golden Lagoon
15 War Dawn
16 Possession
17 The Burden Hardest To Bear
18 Nemesis, part 2
21 Transmutate
25 Mortal Combat
32 Starscream's Brigade
34 Heavy Metal War
37 Call of the Primitives
39 Dark Awakening
40 The Agenda, part 3
44 Webworld
209 Code of Hero
"Tell my tale to those who ask. Tell it truly - the ill deeds, along
with the good - and let me be judged accordingly. The rest...is
silence." Quite possibly the best line of dialogue ever written for a
TF cartoon.
--Tigerpaw28
If I put "NOT Code of Hero", would you take points away from that
perennially overrated piece of averageness? Please?
--Michael "Kil" McCarthy
Honorable mention: Child's Play. Yes, I said Child's Play. I rank it
with the best for nostalgia's sake and because looking back on how
much I loved it as a kid, I am forced to laugh at myself and the
animators for whatever they were smoking when they made it. 'Sides,
it's always fun to see people do battle with a paperclip and a #2
pencil.
--Princess Artemis
Dark Awakening. The first version, when Prime's *not* coming back!
--necrotron
Law of the Jungle. Major character depth, great pathos, and much
heavier issues than most kidvid toy commercials could ever hope to
begin to explore.
--Thylacine 2000
'Leo Kaiser, Merge', because there's no other episode where we get to
see the Autobot leader get so utterly trounced.
--Implode
I could offer many serious and profound arguments as to why Dweller in
the Depths is the best episode of all time, involving usage of cast,
the tight plot, beautiful animation, sly homages... but I can't be
arsed, so I'm going to give a four word reason instead: Transformer
Zombies Rule All.
--Velvet Glove
Microbots. drunk Decepticons, this clearly needed a couple of
sarcastic robots making remarks at the bottom of the screen.
--robo_rob
SPARKPLUG: Paging M Sipher, paging M Sipher, please pick up the
white courtesy phone.
T-A.I.: That's MY job!
------------------------------
*** Best Multiple-Part Episode Ever
1 The Miracle Warriors: Targetmasters (Headmasters)
2 Feral Scream
2 Other Victories
2 Revelations
3 Other Visits
3 Starscream's Ghost/Ghost in the Machine
4 Beast Wars (pilot)
5 Sparkwar
5 Starscreams Brigade/Revenge of Bruticus
7 Coming of the Fuzors
7 Dinobot Island
10 Past
14 The Trigger
25 Endgame
32 Other Voices
37 Desertion of the Dinobots
37 Megatron's Master Plan
41 Return of Optimus Prime
46 The Ultimate Doom
48 Rebirth
67 The Key to Vector Sigma
72 Nemesis
88 Five Faces of Darkness
185 More Than Meets the Eye/Arrival From Cybertron
282 The Agenda
The Agenda. Without a doubt the most tightly plot storyline in the
history of the franchise. Great character moments, laugh out loud
humor, amazing action, and the most mind-numbingly over the top
cliffhanger in television history.
--Chris "Commander Crayfish" Funaro
Bah. We all know "The Agenda" will win, even if a grandiose Megatron
speech and Ravage was all it had going for it. Give me "Five Faces"!
Quintessons! Rodimus! Neato plotline! Flashbacks! Teaspoon,
Cybertron's chief dishwasher!
--Sir Raptor of Nonsense
MTMTE is the definitive TF episode that "has it all." No better
introduction exists to the TF universe - it sets up almost everything
that will be significant throughout the series, and shows considerable
insight into every character who got air time. If no other episode
had ever been made, Transformers would still be among the greatest
cartoon series of all time, for this episode alone. *That's* how
exceptional it is.
--Raksha
The whole of Masterforce! Can you not see how the writers masterfully
wrote the whole series as a multi-parter, from Metalhawk and the
Pretenders' appearance to the final showdown. Now that is writing.
--Gekisou
Megatron's Master Plan. For one episode in the original cartoon,
Megatron wins. Okay, Prime truly was an idiot and was written very
badly which detracted from the whole, but it's all made up by the
simple fact that Megatron wins.
--Razorpack
The Key to Vector Sigma. The creation of TWO gestalt teams? Ha, beat
THAT!
--Bombzab
Endgame, and I'm STILL not kidding. For an example of a great
conclusion not only of individual character subplots but also series-
length and *franchise-spanning* super-themes, this is one rockfest
that doesn't disappoint. The people who banish it because of the end
literally just can't see the forest for the trees.
--Thylacine 2000
DUALOR: And if there's one thing that Endgame finished with,
it's a LOT of trees.
------------------------------
*** Worst Single Episode or Multiple-Part Episode of the Year
1 Comrade
1 Conspiracy
1 Cramp
1 Crisis
1 Decisive Battle
1 Forest
1 Miracle
1 Overmatch
1 Puppet
1 Rebellion
1 Regeneration
1 Ruin
1 Sacrifice
1 Union
2 Base
2 Origin
3 Depart
3 Past
3 Remorse
5 First Encounter
5 Jungle
9 Runaway
11 Vacation
24 Carnival
Carnival. Really, your cast is composed of giant robots from
outerspace and the most intriguing adventure you can come up with is
to send them to the county fair. Yuck.
--NightViper
Jungle. I think about three minutes' worth of action happened in the
whole thirty minutes I watched this show, and those were stolen from
Captain Planet.
--Rev. Pee Kitty
Grab the list and pick one at random for me, will you Rob?
--dirge
"Past" I & II. Gosh, I wish they'd flashed back to that wall of flames
just one more time... BECAUSE FIFTY TIMES WASN'T ENOUGH.
--Robert Powers
Depart. It focused on Rad trying to convince his parents to let him go
to another planet to help fight a war between giant robots. Focusing
on one of the Autobrats is bad enough, but to have him trying to get
permission for something that sounds on the face of it absurd, makes
it worse. Topping it off is the fact that he actually GOT PERMISSION!
There are so many things wrong with this episode, it goes far beyond
just the worst episode of the year.
--FlameStrike
"Runaway." Yee-haw, let's join the Mini-Cons down on the farm.
--Chris McFeely
This is a trick question, right? Uh... gee, well, the pilot of Armada
was pretty brutal. I switched the channel to Barbara Walters
interviewing a chimp. She made him cry, too.
--Zodiac
Transformers: Rebellion. This is the closest I can find to disliking
an episode this year (If I hated anything else, I can't figure out its
title.). The episode was great, but all while I first watched it I
wanted to punch Sideways in the head.
--Suzanne M. Ferree
SPARKPLUG: Oh, that's nothing; we all get that feeling from
Sideways sooner or later.
------------------------------
*** Worst Single Episode Ever
1 Autobot Run
1 Changing Gears
1 Cutting Edge
1 Dark Voyage
1 Endgame, part 1: The Downward Spiral
1 Fallout
1 Fires of the Past
1 Koji Gets His Wish
1 Make Tracks
1 Possession
1 Rebirth, part 3
1 The Core
1 The Final Battle
1 The Gambler
1 The Reformatting
2 Chaos
2 Crack
2 Cramp
2 Crisis
2 Decisive Battle
2 Depart
2 Endgame, part 2: When Legends Fall
2 Escape
2 Mercenary Pursuits
2 Only Human
2 Overmatch
2 Palace
2 Regeneration
2 Roll For It
2 Savage Noble
2 Swoop
2 The Burden Hardest to Bear
2 The Golden Lagoon
2 The Killing Jar
2 The Mystery of Ultra Magnus
2 Transport to Oblivion
2 Triple Takeover
2 Union
2 Who is the Strongest Warrior? (Beast Wars Second)
3 Atlantis, Arise!
3 Circus
3 Code of Hero
3 Comrade
3 Cosmic Rust
3 Dinobot Island, part 1
3 Divide and Conquer
3 Grimlock's New Brain
3 Master Blaster
3 Origin
3 Ruin
3 Spider's Game
3 The Ultimate Weapon
3 Thief in the Night
4 Aerial Assault
4 Call of the Primitives
4 Forest
4 Sea Change
4 Soldier
4 The Catalyst
5 Go With The Flow
5 Miracle
5 Mortal Combat
5 Secret Weapon D-5
6 A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court
6 Battle Protocol
6 Forbidden Fruit
6 Heavy Metal War
6 Metamorphosis
6 Money is Everything
6 Prime Target
7 Hoist Goes Hollywood
7 Nightmare Planet
7 The Fish Test
7 Webworld
8 Base
9 A Prime Problem
9 Madman's Paradise
9 Runaway
10 Endgame, part 3: Seeds of the Future
11 Face of the Nijika
12 Jungle
13 Auto-Bop
13 Enter the Nightbird
13 The Low Road
13 The Weak Component
14 Autobot Spike
19 Child's Play
19 First Encounter
20 Kremzeek!
20 Surprise Party
22 Vacation
23 B.O.T.
27 The Girl Who Loved Powerglide
44 City of Steel
120 Carnival
147 Carnage In C-Minor
I've chosen infamous Carnage In C-Minor for amazing amount of
animation errors. Especially, Constructicons are the size of Magnus'
fist - it's just too much to bear. This annoying singing aliens in
fancy clothes don't help either.
--Jetstorm666
I think it was the episode in Headmasters where Fortress merged with
his ship to form Fortress Maximus and defeat a giant plant. What a
stupid plot device to show a cool transformation sequence.
--Gekisou
Here is a one paragraph rundown of "Enter The Nightbird" (G1). Ahem.
"Optimus Prime! Quickly! Decepticons have stolen the robot ninja that
we built instead of finding a cure for cancer! Megatron's stolen it
and he's about to ... what the heck is he doing to her? Oh, ew. EWW!
That's just ... oh, that proves it, there is no God. Nevermind, they
can keep her."
--Zodiac
Boy, where do I begin? Old Transformers cartoons are ripe with
stereotypes that would get them banned in four seconds flat today, but
you've got love the blatent sexism of "B.O.T." - girls are stupid, and
if they're smart, they're ugly, and the best way to handle a girl is
to tape her mouth shut. Why don't we just have the Autobots learn
about cooties while we're at it?
--Thundercracker1978
I didn't think it possible - 'B.O.T.' is no longer my least favourite
episode. Why? Because at least it had robots in it. The Armada
pilot had thirty seconds of robots and twenty-one minutes of annoying
child times three.
--Wayward
You know, by having a flying shark as a main character probably set
RiD up for a lot of "Jumping the Shark" jokes. And, in "Secret Weapon
D-51" they paid off... when the locomotive, and the whole show, jumps
the proverbial and literal shark.
--Rick R. Mortis
"Money is Everything". I hate it. Where the #%@# are the regulars?
Where's Galv, and Rod? Cyc and Magnus? Instead I'm stuck with these
stupid, ridiculous Technobots and grunting growling Hun-Grr and co.
"Hey, here's a good idea. I'm an Autobot Gestalt VS a psychotic raging
freak, Abominus! Why don't I sit here while he ravages me for a few
minutes, while I compute the perfect solution to handle the problem,
and then explain it REALLY, REALLY loudly so that everyone including
my enemy can hear the answer! Probability of THAT being smart?
1.333333%"
--Paul Larder
None, respect the work gentlemen good or bad, no one owes you
anything, and most often you are not a qualified judge.
--Matt Super
T-A.I.: Sounds like we should take Matt to see "Battlefield
Earth" sometime.
SPARKPLUG: That would be inhumane!
DUALOR: Luckily, we're not human. I'm free next Thursday.
------------------------------
*** Worst Multiple-Part Episode Ever
1 Other Voices
2 Techno-Organic War
3 Awakening/Desperate (Armada)
3 Fortress Maximus
3 Other Visits
3 The Miracle Warriors: The Targetmasters (Masterforce)
4 The Agenda
5 Coming of the Fuzors
5 Sparkwar
7 The Trigger
8 Past
9 More Than Meets The Eye
10 Feral Scream
11 Beast Wars (pilot)
14 Desertion of the Dinobots
17 Revelations
23 Endgame
30 Dinobot Island
32 Return of Optimus Prime
40 The Ultimate Doom
41 Megatron's Master Plan
69 Rebirth
73 First Encounter (Armada pilot)
96 Five Faces of Darkness
The Quintessons apparently built an "off" switch which works on all
TFs, including those on the other side of the galaxy. The gerbil wheel
powering the brain of the guy who wrote that must have seized up by
the fifth episode.
--Stuart Denyer
The Return of Optimus Prime. It took two episodes to render an entire
season completely pointless, cheapen one of the great sacrifices in a
TF story, and negate one of the best moments in TF history - Hot Rod's
rise as the one chosen by the Matrix to save and lead the TF race.
--Teratron
The entirety of Beast Machines.
--kidu
Transformers Victory - urgh
--Polarised
RID. All of it.
--Amelie
The entire run of Armada. Sorry.
--Masked Loser
Hey Rob, am I allowed to vote for all of Beast Wars 2 here? Because I
should.
--Daniel "Suspsy" Suh
The Ultimate Doom. "Mwaha! We will destroy the Earth, and harness the
power the explosion creates! And to do that, we will BRING OUR HOME-
WORLD CYBERTRON SO CLOSE TO EARTH IT WILL BE CAUGHT IN THE EXPLOSION
AND DESTROYED AS WELL! . . . How ironic."
--Aaron F. Bourque
Well, the Vok blow goats and Dinobot Island makes my brain hurt, but
the winner (or rather, loser) of them all is the Armada pilot. I've
never had to force myself to watch a TF episode for the first time all
the way through before.
--Stormrave
Meg's Master Plan... if the Autobots had been anymore compliant,
they'd have been serving the Decepticons drinks out of the hollowed
skulls of various Earth Creatures.
--Felix
SPARKPLUG: You just know SOMEONE is going to draw that up as a cover
for a future issue of Con-Quest.
DUALOR: You have to admit, it's a catchy image.
T-A.I.: "Catchy"?!
DUALOR: We ARE talking Con-Quest here, remember?
------------------------------
*** Best Transformers Animated Series Ever
1 Transformers: 2010
1 Transformers: Armada
1 Transformers: Headmasters
2 Transformers: Masterforce
2 Transformers: Zone
4 Transformers: Robots in Disguise/Car Robots
4 Transformers: Victory
5 Beast Machines
73 Transformers/Fight! Super Robot Life Force Transformers
113 Beast Wars
Beast Wars!!!!!! Great, multi-faceted developed characters, deep,
intriguing, continuing stories, intelligent well-scripted writting, a
respect for what came before, beautiful cutting-edge CGI for the time.
It seems like a beautiful dream now looking back. Would that those
days would come again. And that someone would bring back Waspinator. I
miss Waspinator.
--ZacWilliam
Although G1 will always be in our hearts, this one belongs to Beast
Wars.
--Airfox
The G1 series, because it stands the test of time in spite of
animation errors, obvious budget and time constraints and
sociopolitical pressures of the day.
--Sharon "Tut" LaBorde
G1. I love Beast Wars, but I keep going back to G1.
--Wayward
Transformers Masterforce - first to take the chunky molds and make
them freaking ALIVE, man. Nuff said.
--Aaron Hong, Sergeant Major 1st Armored Rangers
They've all had characters too like, scenes to remember, lines worth
quoting. Even Beast Machines. Let's just throw them in the blender. :)
--Ryan Hawe/Darwinian Road Kill
Armada!
*ducks bricks that will surely be thrown at her by Armada haters*
--Stelartron
RID. Even if the show was crap, the animation was consistently good.
--Amelie
SPARKPLUG: Is there anything we can say at this point that won't
sound like pleading?
DUALOR: Can't think of a thing.
T-A.I.: I'm stumped.
SPARKPLUG: *Sigh*
------------------------------
*** Funniest Episode Ever
1 A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court
1 A Wolf in the Fold
1 Auto-Bop
1 Autobot Spike
1 B.O.T.
1 Beast Wars (pilot)
1 Before the Storm
1 Changing of the Guard
1 Dark Designs
1 Fight Or Flee
1 Fire in the Sky
1 Fire on the Mountain
1 Five Faces of Darkness, part 1
1 Four Warriors From the Sky (Masterforce)
1 Gorilla Warfare
1 I Risk My Life For Earth (Masterforce)
1 Jan, Protect The School! (Victory)
1 Madman's Paradise
1 Megastorm's Reckoning (Beast Wars Second)
1 Money is Everything
1 Mortal Combat
1 Movor's Space Shot
1 Nemesis, part 2
1 Only Human
1 Prime Target
1 Roll For It
1 Runaway
1 Sky-Byte Saves the Day
1 The Decepticons
1 The Final Showdown on Earth, part 1 (Headmasters)
1 The God Gambit
1 The Insecticon Syndrome
1 The Master Builders
1 The Mystery of Planet Master (Masterforce)
1 Traitor
1 Ultra Magnus: Forced Fushion
1 Victory
1 Warriors of Planet Micro (Victory)
1 Wedge's Short Fuse
1 The Test
2 Changing Gears
2 Commandos
2 Cutting Edge
2 Double Dinobot
2 Hoist Goes Hollywood
2 Secret Weapon D5
2 Surprise Party
2 The Agenda
3 Posession
4 A Better Mousetrap
4 Carnival
4 City of Steel
4 Go With the Flow
4 Microbots
4 The Girl Who Loved Powerglide
6 Triple Takeover
8 Carnage In C-Minor
8 Kremzeek!
9 The Fish Test
13 Webworld
33 The Low Road
The Low Road. Sometimes crude is just plain funny. But the best part
is in the scene where Rhinox's tail shoots up.
--Lord Black "Nytetrayn" Draco
"The Fish Test". Sure, that episode had a lame plot, but, to quote
Slapper, "It was worth it to see Sky-Byte bark like a seal!"
--Speedbreaker
"Ultra Magnus: Forced Fushion.". Everything about that episode is
hysterically funny, right down to the typo in the title.
--Dave "Zobovor" Edwards
"Carnage in C Minor". Funny for all the WRONG reasons.
--Merytneith
City of Steel. For all the wrong reasons.
--Amelie
"Go With The Flow". Yeah. It's funny. Unfortunately, it's for all the
wrong reasons.
--"The Mad Bomber" Bombshell
A Wolf In The Fold, Beast Machines. Tries for serious, but the
characters/VAs all going nuts on one another was hilarious.
--lastmaximal
The Girl who loved Powerglide (aka Powerglide: Woman beater)
--Nightwing_22
Madman's Paradise. I won't lie to you. Madman's Paradise won because
of Grimlock's apron, and no other reason.
--Conor E
Microbots. I was going to put Webworld, but drunken Decepticons beat
out Crazy Galvatron anyday.
--Anthony "BWAAAA!" Sancilio
DUALOR: Of course, crazy Galvatron getting drunk and beating up
the Decepticons would REALLY take the prize.
SPARKPLUG: Next, on Jerry Springer!
------------------------------
*** Best Character Voice
1 Alpha Trion
1 Blurr (Armada)
1 Cheetor
1 Convoy (Japanese Beast Wars)
1 Depth Charge
1 Galvatron (Movie)
1 Galvatron (orig.)
1 Grand Maximus (Masterforce)
1 Heavy Load
1 Inferno (BW)
1 Ironhide (orig.)
1 Jetfire (Armada/Energon)
1 Lord Zarak
1 Mindwipe
1 Mixmaster
1 Optimus Prime (RiD)
1 Reflector
1 Rumble
1 Scourge (RiD)
1 Scrapper
1 Sixshot (Japanese Headmasters dub)
1 Tarantulas
1 Thrust (BM)
1 Tracks
1 Unicron (Armada)
2 Astrotrain
2 Cyclonus (orig.)
2 Grimlock (orig.)
2 Prowl (orig.)
2 Rampage (BW)
2 Rhinox
2 Silverbolt (BW/BM)
2 Wheelie
3 Sky-Byte
4 Rattrap
4 Ultra Magnus (orig.)
5 Optimus Primal (BW/BM)
6 Megatron (orig.)
7 Dinobot
7 Unicron (Movie)
8 Jazz
9 Waspinator
15 Optimus Prime (orig.)
25 Starscream (orig.)
29 Soundwave
34 Megatron (BW/BM/Armada)
Megatron, by David Kaye. Pick one.
--David "Walky" Willis
Alpha Trion. He always managed to sound both old and pissed off at the
same time.
--Phil
Astrotrain - It's like all the unknowable vastness of the universe
condensed into one perfectly ethereal vocal tone... which can
apparently also be accomplished by sucking yogurt from a tube...
--Iacon
Soundwave. And you thought his career was over when he got kicked out
of Cylon Boot Camp.
--Dave "Zobovor" Edwards
Victor Caroli as the narrator doesn't count, does he?
--Joona I Palaste
Sixshot, Headmasters dub. Sure, he soundss the same as everybody else
but his voice is muffled by his voice actor's hand. That's how they
did character's with faceplates in those things. Genius.
--Brian Kilby
Storybook-On-Tape Megatron. 'Cause he's MUMM-RA.
--HOOPER_X
You mean I have to decide between Chris Latta, Orson Wells, and
Scatman Crothers?
--HorseTechie
SPARKPLUG: Starscream!
DUALOR: Unicron!
T-A.I.: (dreamily) Jazz... *sigh*
------------------------------
*** The Dr. Wily award, for the weirdest plot device/gadget/scheme in
an episode
1 Gravitizing meteorite/spaceship (from "Approach of the Demon
Meteorite", Headmasters)
1 Armada kids
1 Armada kids can understand Mini-cons
1 Attitude Exchanger (from "Attack of the Autobots")
1 Autobot Matrix of Leadership
1 Autobots bury Skyfire after he crashes into the snow (from "Fire
in the Sky")
1 Autobots disguised as scientists (from "More Than Meets the
Eye")
1 Autobots pretend to be the Stunticons (from "Masquerade")
1 B.O.T. (from "B.O.T.")
1 Beast modes protect from excess energon
1 Botanica
1 Buddha Transformer (from "The Great Buddha Transformer")
1 Cosmic rust (from "Cosmic Rust")
1 Cowardice/Berserker virus (from "Gorilla Warfare")
1 Crystal of Power (from "Fire on the Mountain")
1 Cybertronium depletion (from "Desertion of the Dinobots")
1 Decepticons using explosives to blow up the dam
(from "Commandos")
1 Destroying the train to get its energy (from "Bullet Trains
to the Rescue")
1 Dinosaur transform static (from "Thief in the Night")
1 Finding Jetfire/Skyfire buried in the Antarctic
(from "Fire in the Sky")
1 Finding Ultra Magnus's birthday (from "Surprise Party")
1 Fire retardant foam stops Decepticons (from "The Ultimate Doom")
1 Flower (from "Dark Designs")
1 Gal