#31 - "Buster Witwicky and the Car Wash of Doom"

Information provided by Keith Palmer.

Credits

Writer - Bob Budiansky / Penciler - Don Perlin / Inker - Jim Fern / Letterer - Rick Parker / Colorist - Nel Yomtov

Story

Under Shockwave's orders, the Decepticons capture an oil tanker; Shockwave uses it to impress the visiting Ratbat about their operations. But Ratbat is unimpressed -- the tanker's empty! After chiding the Decepticons to work smarter, he reveals that he's already using humans in his own scheme...

Business is booming at Sparkplug Witwicky's garage, now a new and prominent Blackrock Oil "Wash and Roll" outlet. In fact, there's an upswing in regional gasoline use, to Buster's dismay -- he's too busy to spend time with his girlfriend Jessie. Meanwhile, at Blackrock Oil's corporate headquarters in Portland, Oregon, G.B. Blackrock reports the success of the Wash and Roll stations, and invites everyone to the opening of a new facility that evening. After the press conference, Ratbat secretly congratulates him on a job well done.

Shut up and kiss already!

That night, Jessie drives to the Witwicky station, and invites Buster for a romantic ride through the car wash. He reluctantly agrees; neither the wash's flashing lights and music nor a kiss from Jessie succeed in cheering him up. Once outside, Jessie abruptly excuses herself and leaves. Suspicious, Buster follows in his pickup truck.

He tracks her to a remote area away from the city. Trying to get Jessie's attention, Buster flashes his headlights at her, and she snaps back to normal. They then see that they're near a Blackrock oil facility, where cars are moving towards a new Wash and Roll station. Laserbeak appears and corrals Buster in line, and he realizes the station is pumping gasoline out of the cars. Jessie climbs into Buster's truck; they consider fetching the Autobots, but stop when Buster sees Sparkplug arriving.

Leaving the truck, Buster and Jessie overhear Ratbat and Blackrock explain the wash to a zombified crowd. Hypnotized by Astrotrain (last issue), Blackrock used his fortune to build prefabricated Wash and Rolls modeled after the first one (a transforming package, sent in issue #29). And while the current model can only induce compliance temporarily, the new model will keep customers permanently under Decepticon control. To demonstrate, Blackrock invites Sparkplug through as the first customer.

Buster sends Jessie for help, then blocks Sparkplug's car with his pickup. The mesmerized humans surround Buster, but he escapes by driving through the wash. Unfortunately, Ratbat catches up, and after draining the pickup's tank, he attacks for a taste of blood. Buster fights free with a tire iron, but is caught by the hypnosis effect. He manages to resist, then gets rescued by Jessie driving through the wash.

As the crowd closes in, Buster climbs the wash and smashes the neon sign. The ensuing flash knocks the humans out of their trance, and they soon chase off the Decepticons. Blackrock then vows to dismantle the washes and to donate the siphoned gas money to charity. Buster is rewarded with a promise of more free time from Sparkplug and a kiss from Jessie.

Notes and Comments

• Just to state the obvious, the title is a parody of the Steven Spielberg/George Lucas summer action movie, "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom."
• Many fans consider this issue to be the worst of the Transformers comic book series, though that is debatable (there are lots of contenders). If nothing else, from the Decepticons' capture of an empty tanker to the multimedia experience of the Wash and Roll, it's certainly in the running for the silliest issue...
• It's rather obvious that Ratbat's plan is incredibly inefficient. It'd be easier to steal the oil directly, instead of going through the laborous route of pumping and refining the oil into gasoline -- and then stealing it back from the drivers'. And he dares criticize Shockwave for inefficient planning?
• Sparkplug gives his first name in this issue as "Irving", even though it was previously revealed as "William" (in issue #3).
• Buster Witwicky, Sparkplug Witwicky, and Jessie were last seen in issue #12.